Seeking His Love (15 page)

An uneasy feeling urged him on as he hustled around the house. He spotted Rachel sitting on her top porch step, alone. “Kayla said you had a visitor. Everything okay?”

She blinked and looked up at him, her face pale. “I…I don’t know.”

Cam sat down next to her. “Who was it?”

She released a shuddering breath. “A private detective who was hired by…my father. He’s the one who’s been following me. He gave me this letter.” She looked down at the envelope in her hands.

“Wow. What does it say?”

“I don’t know. I’m afraid to open it.”

Cam’s heart twisted, and he put his arm around her shoulders. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay.”

She brushed a tear from the corner of her eye. “I don’t know why I’m crying. I should be happy. But this all just came out of the blue. I had no idea he was looking for me.” She pulled in a sharp breath and turned to him. “What if he wants to meet me?”

He tucked a strand of her silky hair behind her ear. “Just take it one step at a time.” He nodded toward the letter. “Why don’t you open it and see what he says?”

She fiddled with the envelope a moment more, then tore it open and pulled out the letter. “‘Dear Rose,’” she read aloud.

“Wait, why is he calling you Rose?”

“Apparently, that was my name until my mom changed it.”

“Okay. Go ahead.”

“‘I am thrilled this letter has finally reached you. Even
though we have been apart for many years, you have always been on mind and in my heart. I’ve missed you very much, and I hope, now that you are grown, we will have an opportunity to get to know each other again.’” Emotion choked off her voice.

His heart clenched, watching her. “You want me to read it?”

“No. I want to do it.” She cleared her throat and started again.

“‘I am sorry for all the pain and heartache I caused you and your mother. Thinking back and remembering how I treated you both is one of the biggest sorrows of my life. I was young, foolish and selfish, and I lacked the character and courage I needed to deal with my out-of-control drinking and abusive behavior. Losing you and your mother was a terrible blow, but it took three more years before I finally admitted my problems and asked for help.

“‘By God’s grace and with the help of my friends at AA, I have been clean and sober for twenty years. I married a wonderful, caring woman named Nina eighteen years ago. We have a son, Jason, seventeen, and a daughter Courtney, fifteen. They are great kids who are doing well and making their old dad proud.

“‘I worked in construction for a number of years, and now have my own company with more than forty employees. We build retail and office buildings all over Chicago.

“‘Though I have had a good life, not knowing where you were or what was happening in your life has been very hard for me. I have searched for you several times over the years, hoping and praying I would find you.

“‘I would love to hear how you are doing, and if you are willing, I would like to start rebuilding our relationship. But the choice is up to you. I will understand if you decide not to contact me. But I am hoping and praying you will.

“‘With love from your father, John Harding’”

She released a trembling breath, her gaze still focused on the letter.

Cam gently rubbed her shoulder. “So what do you think?”

“He certainly seems different than the way my mom always described him.”

“Sounds like he’s changed a lot since you and your mom left.”

She folded the letter, her face an unreadable mask.

“So…are you going to call him?”

She slipped the letter in the envelope. “I want to talk to my mom first.”

Cam scanned her face. “You don’t need her permission to contact your dad. You’re an adult.”

Her expression tightened. “I know. But she’s the one who raised me. She’s been there for me all these years. I think I owe it to her to listen to her perspective.”

Disappointment coursed through Cam. “You are going to call him, though, aren’t you, after you talk to your mom?”

She pushed off from the step and stood. “How do I know if he’s telling the truth? Maybe he made all this up.”

“Why would he do that?” Cam stood and faced her. “He’s obviously sorry for the way he treated you, and he’s trying to make up for it.”

“Why are you defending him?”

“I’m not, I just think your emotions might be clouding the picture a little.”

She crossed her arms and turned away, but not before he saw the hurt in her eyes.

He touched her shoulder. “I’m trying to help. I don’t mean to push.”

“Well, you are pushing, and I don’t appreciate it.”

He was quiet for a few seconds. “I’m sorry, but it reminds me of what happened between me and my dad.”

She glanced over her shoulder. “What do you mean?”

“About three months before he died, we had a big argument. The next day my dad called, but I wouldn’t answer. I wanted to punish him for confronting me, and show him I was old enough to make my own choices. Then he wrote me a letter and apologized. But I didn’t return his calls or answer the letter. In fact, I never spoke to him again.” He stopped and swallowed, still feeling the terrible weight of that decision. “Then he died, and it was too late to tell him I was sorry and that I loved him.”

He took her hand. “Don’t make that same mistake. I know it seems like a huge risk to put your heart on the line and contact him, but think about what you could gain if he really is the man he says in that letter.”

Tears pooled in her eyes, and her chin trembled.

“Call him and work things out while you’ve got the chance.”

She pulled away. “You have no idea what his choices cost me or my mom, or the pain we had to live with for all these years. So don’t tell me what to do.” She dashed into her apartment and jerked the door closed behind her.

Cam stared at the curtain swaying in the window of the door, then blew out a deep breath. She obviously wasn’t ready to talk to her father. Why had he pushed so hard? It probably had more to do with his own need to work through his issues with his father, than it had to do with helping Rachel.

He leaned on the porch railing and bowed his head.
Father, please help Rachel think this through and make the right choice. Help her forgive her father. Show me what I ought to do. And if there’s any way You can get a message to my dad, would You tell him I’m sorry, and that I love him?

R
achel wearily rubbed her forehead and trudged up the aisle of the auditorium. The headache that had been building all morning began pounding out a painful rhythm in the back of her head.

The kids had an unbelievable amount of energy for a Monday morning. Their antics during the last three hours had stolen her last ounce of patience. Thankfully, most of the younger ones were heading home, and she would only have to deal with a dozen or so cast members at the afternoon rehearsal.

It didn’t help that’s she’d barely slept last night. Between her troubled thoughts about contacting her father, and her regret over lashing out at Cam, she felt like a wet washcloth being twisted and wrung out to dry.

She pushed open the door to the auditorium and glanced down the hall toward Cam’s frame shop. His door stood open and a warm light glowed within. She ought to walk down there and apologize, but she couldn’t face him right now. Maybe after lunch she’d work up the courage.

But what would she say? The first thing he’d ask was, had she contacted her father. When she said no, he’d be disappointed in her all over again.

She turned away and walked into her office. Dropping her clipboard on her desk, she deflated into her chair. What a mess! Closing her eyes, she laid her head back and tried to relax the tight muscles in her neck. The sound of heels clicking on the tile floor reached her. She lifted her head and look toward the door.

Melanie strode in carrying a file folder. “I need to speak to you.” Her voice grated on Rachel’s nerves like fingernails clawing down a chalkboard.

Rachel winced. “I have a killer headache. Can it wait ’til later?”

Melanie’s jaw jutted forward. “No. It can’t.”

“Look, I’m sorry the kids were rowdy in the halls this morning. Chandra wasn’t feeling well, so I sent her home. Amy and I had to split the group, and she’s not used to handling that many kids.”

Melanie opened her mouth to reply.

But Rachel cut her off. “I promise I’ll keep them quieter tomorrow.”

“I’m not here to talk about the kids.”

Oh, great. If she says one more word about Cam and me, I am going to scream.

“Did you live in Seattle before you moved here?”

Rachel eased forward. “Yes.”

“Were you a teacher at Roosevelt High?”

Her stomach tensed. “Why do you want to know?”

“I knew there must be more to your story, so I did a little research, and look what I found.” A triumphant gleam lit up Melanie’s eyes. She pulled a copy of a newspaper article from the folder and slid it across Rachel’s desk.

The headline read, Roosevelt Teacher Accused of Inappropriate Relationship with Student.

Rachel sucked in a sharp breath. “That’s not true.”

“It’s right there in black and white.” Melanie narrowed
her eyes and scanned the article. “‘The investigation suggests Ms. Clark demonstrated a lack of professional judgment, and if the accusations are proven true, they are grounds for dismissal.’”

Rachel clenched her jaw, fighting the urge to rip the article from her hand.

“Did you lose your job over this?”

“Yes…but it was a complicated situation. That article doesn’t begin to tell what really happened.”

“I’d rather not hear the sordid details.”

Rachel jumped up. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I can’t believe you have the nerve to move here and work with kids when you have this kind of background.”

“You don’t know anything about me or my background.”

“I know enough, and I won’t stand by and let you endanger those children.”

“I am not a danger to anyone”

“Well, here’s the way I see it. You have a choice to make. Either you resign as director of N.C.Y.T., or I’ll tell Cam and all the parents what happened in Seattle.”

Rachel gasped. “You’re not serious.”

“I am.”

Rachel walked around the desk. “But the summer musical is only three weeks away. Think about the kids!”

“That is exactly who I am thinking about.”

“Those charges are based on lies!”

The hateful gleam in Melanie’s eyes spoke louder than her words.

“You don’t care if this is true or not. You’re just jealous of my relationship with Cam.”

Melanie wrinkled her nose. “He won’t want anything to do with you when he hears about this.”

“You’re wrong. He’ll stand up for me.”

“I wouldn’t count on it. He has his own reputation to think about, and he has to look out for his niece. Once this comes out, it will be the end of your relationship.”

All the strength drained from Rachel’s legs, and she leaned back against her desk. “Please, Melanie, don’t do this. So many people will be hurt.”

She leveled her cold gaze at Rachel. “You have until Friday to make a decision. Resign, or I contact the parents.”

Rachel clenched her fists. “I’m not resigning!”

The blonde spun on her heel and strode out the door.

Rachel slumped into her chair and lowered her head to her hands. What was she going to do now?

Cam gripped the phone tighter, counting the rings as he waited for his sister to pick up. Looking out the kitchen window, he watched Kayla and her friend, Lindsey, squirting each other with the hose. They were supposed to be washing the SUV, but he didn’t mind the impromptu water fight. Seeing Kayla laugh and enjoy time with her friend was worth a few more dollars on his water bill.

After six rings, Shannon’s voice mail came on, telling him to leave a message. He blew out a deep breath, hoping to drain the frustration from his tone. “Hey, Shannon. Sorry I missed your call. Hope everything is okay. We’ll be home all evening. Try again when you get this message. If I don’t hear from you in a couple hours, I’ll call you back. Take care. Bye.”

Cam dropped his phone in his pocket. Shannon hadn’t sounded upset when she left her message, but he couldn’t be sure. Every few days she shared some test result or conversation with the doctor that either raised their hopes, or left them anxious and wondering what would happen next.

He glanced outside at Rachel’s empty parking spot and his mood dropped a few more points. She’d been avoiding
him since Sunday evening when the P.I. showed up with that letter from her father. Pushing her to call had been a bad move. Maybe he should call her now.

He reached for his phone, then slowly withdrew his hand from his pocket. She’d made it clear Sunday night—she needed more time to process this huge shift in her world.

But not seeing her for three days had left him feeling unsettled and distracted. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. His focus was shot.

He yanked opened the refrigerator and grabbed the plate of hamburger patties.

A car pulled in the driveway. He glanced outside as Rachel’s Toyota rolled to a stop next to his SUV. Kayla dropped the hose and ran to greet her. Rachel climbed out of the car. Lindsey grabbed the hose and sprayed Kayla’s feet. His niece squealed and ran to hide behind Rachel.

Cam snatched the barbeque sauce off the counter and headed out the back door. Maybe an invitation to dinner would ease the strain between them. The screen door slammed behind him. Rachel looked up. He smiled and waved.

She slowly lifted her hand, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes.

His stomach clenched. He must have done more damage with his comments on Sunday night than he realized. He crossed the patio and tried to shake off his concern. Maybe she was just tired or stressed about the situation with her father. But as he stationed himself at the grill, she stayed in the driveway talking to Kayla and Lindsey.

Apparently, she was in no hurry to see him. “Fine,” he muttered, then turned away and hit the ignition switch on the grill.

So what was her problem? They’d had disagreements before, and she’d always been willing to work them out.
What was different this time? It wasn’t his fault she had a long-lost father who hired a P.I. to find her. Why couldn’t she see that as good news?

Two seconds later he grimaced at his selfish thoughts. It might help if he tried to see things from her perspective. Adjusting to the news her father wanted to be a part of her life again was obviously a huge challenge for her.

Pride was a hard pill to swallow, but Rachel was worth it. He pulled in a deep breath and crossed the patio to meet her. “Hey.” He held up his spatula. “We’re grilling burgers. Would you like to join us?”

“Thanks, but…I’ve got a lot to do this evening.”

He tried not to let her rebuff sting, but it did. “Why don’t you go up and work for a while. I’ll give you a call when we’re ready.” He leaned closer. “Besides, I could use some sane adult conversation tonight.”

She took a step back. “I wouldn’t be good company. I’ve got a headache.”

He searched her face, noting the gray half circles under her eyes and the tightness around her mouth. “Sorry to hear that. I’ll run a burger up to you then.”

She tilted her head and looked at him with a sad smile. “You don’t have to do that.”

“You’ve got to eat. Why don’t you take something for the headache and lie down for a while. I’ll leave your dinner in the kitchen for later.”

Her eyes filled as she reached up and touched the side of his face. “Thanks. That’s sweet.”

He swallowed. Oh, man. If she started crying, that would totally do him in.

But she turned away and headed across the patio.

She probably did have a headache and work to do, but there was more going on behind that sad smile than she
was telling him. He felt like a wall separated them…and he didn’t like that feeling at all.

Rachel slowly climbed the stairs to her second-floor apartment. Each step felt like she was dragging huge weights tied around her ankles. The pounding in her head increased, turning her stomach into a queasy mess.

When she reached the top landing she dropped her computer case and purse on the side table and headed for the bathroom. She took two pain relievers and drank a tall glass of water. Gazing at her reflection on the mirror, she slowly shook her head.
You look as terrible as you feel. And it’s no wonder. Your foolish mistakes are about to destroy N.C.Y.T. and break the hearts of fifty kids!

With a weary sigh she walked into her bedroom and flopped down on the bed. Staring at her ceiling fan, her thoughts swirled like a tornado. Hot tears slipped from the corners of her eyes and dripped into her ears.

Please, God, I need Your help. I’ve tried to figure this out on my own, but that’s only gotten me in deeper trouble. Please show me what to do. I’m ready to listen to whatever You say.

Closing her eyes, she slowed her breathing and waited for His answer. A sense of calm settled over her, and she began to think more clearly.

This had all started because she had tried to hide her past mistakes rather than admitting them, starting with Suzanne at the job interview. Oh, she’d told her she’d been falsely accused by a student and had resigned because of it, but she hadn’t mentioned how her foolish decision to ignore her school’s policy and meet Kyle off campus had compounded the problem and called her judgment into question. That was a humbling bridge she still needed to cross.

She’d also have to tell Suzanne about Melanie’s threat to
leak the article to the parents. If Suzanne was supportive they could face the parents together, and there was a slim possibility they could avoid a catastrophe. There were a lot of ifs and maybes in that line of thinking, but she knew total honesty was the only pathway out of these problems.

The sound of Cam’s voice and then Kayla and Lindsey’s laughter drifted up from the back patio.

She closed her eyes and swallowed. Cam deserved to know the truth, too, all of it. She needed to tell him what led up to the accusations and give him details about the investigation and her resignation. Her stomach churned as she imagined his reaction. But how could she expect to build a strong and trusting relationship with him if she wasn’t willing to admit her mistakes and share her weaknesses?

If only she had told him the truth from the beginning, but she’d had no idea they would grow to care about each other the way they did. Would those feelings be enough to hold them together? Would he forgive her, or would this end their relationship as Melanie hoped?

Staring at the swirling fan, she made her decision. She got up, retrieved her phone, sat on the side of her bed and bowed her head.
Lord, please give me the courage.

Pressing her lips together, she flipped it open and punched in his number. It rang twice and his voicemail message played, postponing the inevitable.

She had to force her voice to cooperate. “Hi, this is Rachel. I need to talk to you about something, but I don’t want to do it in front of Kayla. Could you come up and see me later? Or I can come down. Just call me, okay? It’s important.”

Cam flipped the last burger onto the platter. His phone vibrated in his pocket. He checked the ID and lifted it to his ear. “Hey, how is my favorite sister?”

“I’m your only sister, and I’m doing okay.” The smile in her voice reassured him this wasn’t a crisis call.

He released a deep breath. “Good. What’s up?”

“I was hoping you could help me with something.”

“Sure. What is it?”

“There was a freak windstorm in Seattle last night. A tree limb broke off and crashed into our garage roof.”

Cam frowned and placed the platter on the patio table. “How bad is it?”

“I’m not sure. One of our elderly neighbors called, but she’s hard of hearing, so we couldn’t get the whole story. Could you and Kayla drive down and check it out? All of Eric’s tools are on that side of the garage, and they’re predicting more rain tomorrow. He thought maybe you could put a tarp over that area.”

“Okay. We’ll head down there after dinner.”

“Great. I called the insurance agent and gave him your cell number. He said he’d come by in the morning and take a look. Do you think you could stay over and talk to him?”

“Sure. Don’t worry about it. I’ll give you a call after we see what’s going on. Then we’ll talk to the insurance guy and make a plan to get it fixed.”