Seeking His Love (6 page)

“He seems to have a powerful effect on you.” Hannah’s eyes twinkled.

“Oh, there’s nothing going on between us. I wouldn’t even call us friends. Our relationship is more like the explosive reaction you get when you mix vinegar and soda.”

Hannah chuckled. “Sounds exciting!”

“Seriously, Hannah. I think I pushed Cam too far today.” Why had she unloaded all her frustration on him? If she’d
held her tongue, or at least apologized after she’d blown up, things might have worked out differently.

“I wouldn’t worry too much. Cam may seem all rough and bristly on the outside, but he has a good heart. He’ll cool off.”

“I still don’t understand why he was so upset. It was just a little noise and a small puddle of water. Why is he so antagonistic toward my kids?”

The amusement faded from Hannah’s eyes, and she patted Rachel’s arm. “Come on. Let’s walk. I want to get in a few more minutes of exercise before the rains come.”

“Okay.” Rachel set off, matching Hannah’s brisk pace.

“Cam has his reasons for being sensitive about children.” The older woman’s voice softened. “He lost his wife and son a few years ago in a terrible car accident.”

Rachel nodded. “He told me.”

Hannah’s steps slowed. “He did?”

“Yes, I saw their photo at his house.”

Hannah cocked her head, a slight smile lifting the corners of her mouth. “He invited you to his house?”

Warning bells rang in Rachel’s head. Here was another opportunity to lead someone on with a little bit of truth. But she didn’t want to make the same mistake this time. “He did invite me in, but only because I’m renting his upstairs apartment.”

Hannah’s eyes danced now. “Really?”

“I’m just the tenant. That’s all there is to it.”

“Okay. If you say so.” But Hannah’s smile said she suspected a budding romance between her and Cam.

“So you think having my drama kids around reminds Cam of the son he lost?”

“Yes. That’s part of it.”

“And what’s the other part?”

“I think he’s afraid of getting involved and risking that
kind of loss again. So he puts up this gruff front to keep people at a distance, especially women and children.”

Rachel turned that idea over in her mind. It made sense, considering everything she had observed about Cam in the past few weeks. Suddenly her irritation with him seemed trivial, even petty. Regret burned in her throat. How would she cope if she had suffered such a great loss?

“God and time have a way of healing old wounds,” Hannah added, sending her a brief smile. “Maybe that’s why you’re here.”

Rachel laughed softly. “I doubt my coming to Fairhaven is going to play a part in Cam’s healing. All I seem to do is irritate him.”

“Maybe so, but helping him over the hurdle of being with children every day could be an important step forward for him.”

Rachel bit her lip, pondering that thought. Could she and her kids really be part of God’s plan to help Cam overcome his grief?

“Are you willing to put up with a little fuss and fluster from him?”

Rachel grimaced. “I suppose so. What choice do I have? There’s nowhere else for me to go.”

Hannah gave her a teasing poke in the side. “Well don’t look as if it’s going to be such torture. It might turn out to be good for both of you. Cam has his good points.”

“Really? Like what?”

“Well…he does a fine job managing his shop and the co-op. He’s got a good head for numbers, and he’s a skilled craftsman. People come from all over Bellingham and pay top dollar for his framing. But more important than that, he’s loyal and caring, and he watches out for all of us.” She slipped her arm around Rachel’s shoulder and smiled. “He can actually be quite charming when the mood strikes.”

“That, I would like to see.” As her teasing words faded into the wind, she remembered how he’d helped her move into her apartment. He’d worked all day, carried in more loads than she could count and never once complained. And that night, when they sat in her new kitchen and shared pizza and stories from their lives, she thought they’d truly connected.

A smile tugged at her lips as she recalled how he thought Josh was her live-in boyfriend. His confession had touched a soft place in her heart, and she’d sensed the possibility of a friendship beginning.

But that was last week—before their argument.

Rachel shook her head and released a soft sigh. Why had she been so defensive? Not only had she damaged her chance to gain Cam’s support for N.C.Y.T., she’d put another roadblock in the way of them becoming friends.

And that was what bothered her most of all.

C
am gripped the hoe and attacked the weeds that had sprung up between the rows of tomatoes and peppers in his garden. Grumbling to himself, he continued whacking away at the nasty intruders while he replayed his quarrel with Rachel.

She was wrong. There was no way around it. She should’ve kept an eye on those kids even if they weren’t her students. He couldn’t let that go. It was his responsibility to oversee the Arts Center. If he didn’t, his business as well as his friends’ would suffer.

But he shouldn’t have come on so strong. He didn’t need to blow her out of the water just to make his point. Why hadn’t he stopped when her face turned ghostly pale and her warm brown eyes hardened to cool slate?

Pitching another weed on the pile, he huffed. If he hadn’t been so hardheaded maybe she wouldn’t have run away from him with that painful look of betrayal in her eyes.

He’d wounded her with his words, and that was much worse than any damage those kids had done.

Kneeling, he grabbed an obstinate weed and tugged it out of the ground. If only he could uproot his own selfishness and pride. Perhaps then Rachel would care about what he had to say.

Tires crunched on the gravel driveway as a car rolled to a stop on the other side of the tall wooden fence. His stomach took a nosedive. That had to be Rachel. He stood and brushed the dirt from his hands.

The trunk latch released, the car door slammed, and he heard her footsteps. The gate squeaked open. She stepped through carrying four plastic grocery bags, her computer case over her shoulder and a red umbrella clamped under one arm. She turned and gave the gate a kick, slamming it closed.

He strode across the lawn toward her. “Let me give you a hand with those.”

She swung around, her eyes wide. “Oh. I didn’t see you.”

“I was working in the garden.”

She looked past his shoulder, obviously avoiding eye contact with him.

“Can I help you carry those upstairs?”

“No thanks.” She sent him a cool glance, adjusted her hold on the bags and walked away.

Regret swamped him. “Rachel, wait.”

She slowly turned around, the challenge still evident in her eyes.

“I’ve been thinking about what happened today.” He shoved his hands in his jeans’ pockets and rocked back on his heels. He hated to admit he was wrong, but that was the only way to straighten this out. “I made a big deal out of something we could’ve easily worked out with a little discussion.”

Her wary expression softened a little. “I didn’t exactly make it easy for us to talk it over.”

He shrugged. “That’s true.”

She stared at him for a second. Then she seemed to realize
he was teasing. “Okay. I’m ready to listen to whatever you have to say.”

A grin tugged at his lips. “Wow. That’s all it took?”

“Well, that and a talk with Hannah on the Taylor Avenue dock.”

He cocked his head. “What?”

“Never mind. It’s not important.” She set down the bags. “I’ve been thinking about it, too. And I’m sorry I was so defensive, but I felt…”

“Attacked?”

“Yes.”

“I guess I did come on a little strong.”

She lifted her brows, sending him a meaningful look.

“Well, I suppose I was more like a bulldozer at a construction site.”

“A little.” The light returned to her eyes.

“Do you want to sit down?” He motioned toward the round table and four chairs shaded by a large green umbrella. “Maybe we could talk for a while.”

She hesitated and glanced across the patio. “Okay. But I need to run upstairs and put some ice cream in the freezer.” She bent down to grab her bags.

“Whoa, did you say ice cream?”

She looked up and nodded.

He peaked in one of her bags. “What flavor?”

“Moose tracks.”

“Wow. That sounds good. What do I have to do to convince you to share?”

“Hmm.” She tapped her chin for a moment, then her teasing expression faded. “How about promising you’ll give me another chance?” The sincerity in her eyes was unmistakable.

He nodded. “If you’ll do the same for me.”

Sunday afternoon Cam followed Ross through the crowd gathered in Fairhaven’s historic district. The number of people packed into the eight-block area for this year’s festival was definitely higher than last year.

The sun shone down, warming Cam’s shoulders and lifting his mood. He didn’t normally like crowds, but this one seemed focused on enjoying the day, so he didn’t mind mixing with them. Live music from a band on the Village Green stage filled in the air with a lively, upbeat sound. The mouthwatering scent of grilling meat floated past, teasing his nose.

Earlier that day, he and Ross had watched several kayakers race to the shore, run up the hill and ring the bell, signaling the end of their team’s efforts to make it from the top of Mt. Baker to Bellingham Bay in the annual Ski to Sea Race.

The community festival, celebrating the end of the race and the beginning of summer, was a favorite with people from all over the Bellingham area. As Cam made his way through the Memorial Day weekend crowd, he agreed it was worth the hassle of finding a place to park and feeling like a fish swimming upstream against the flow.

“Why didn’t we sign up for a booth?” Ross pointed to the line of tents filled with all types of artwork. “We could’ve all gone in together and put up a great display.”

“File that idea away for next year.” Another whiff of something barbequed floated past. Cam’s mouth watered, and he glanced at his watch. “Let’s grab something to eat.”

“Okay. Just a minute.” Ross lifted his camera, adjusted the settings and snapped another photo. “Maybe I can sell some of these to
Entertainment News NW
or the
Bellingham Herald.
”

“Don’t they send their own photographers to big events like this?”

“Sure, but if I get a great shot…” He clicked off another series of photos. “…maybe they’ll buy it.”

Cam nodded, though Ross was still viewing the festival through his camera lens.

“Hey, there’s a great subject.” Ross grinned and continued clicking away.

Cam glanced across the street in the direction Ross had pointed his camera. Rachel and another young woman with long red hair stood in front of a booth displaying used books, movie posters and records.

Cam blew out a deep breath and frowned at the sidewalk.

Ross glanced at him. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” Cam folded his arms across his chest and looked back toward the Village Green.

“I thought you worked things out with Rachel.”

Cam’s face grew hot. “I did.” He hated that Ross could read him so easily.

“So what’s with the face?”

“I just feel a little weird around her, that’s all.”

Ross cocked his head. “How come?”

He shrugged, feeling like an awkward adolescent instead of a thirty-three-year-old man.

“Well, I think Rachel’s one of the nicest people I’ve met in a long time. And she’s certainly easy on the eyes.” Ross glanced at Cam as he adjusted the strap on his camera. “In fact, I’ve been thinking about asking her out.”

Cam pulled back. “No way. You’re not.”

“Yeah. I am.” Grinning, Ross pushed his dark frame glasses up his thin nose.

“But…she’s not your type,” he sputtered.

“Sure she is. We’re both fun-loving and creative. I think we have a lot in common.”

Cam shook his head. “You’re too young for her.”

Ross laughed. “I’m twenty-seven. She can’t be much older than that. And a few years age difference doesn’t bother me.” He wiggled his dark brows. “Besides, older women have more experience, and that’s a plus in my book.”

Cam clenched his jaw. “You better watch it.”

Ross’s grin hitched up higher. “Ha! I knew it. You like her.”

“No!” Cam wanted to kick himself. He’d walked right into that one.

“Come on, Cam. You don’t have to pretend with me.”

“Look, I wish you’d drop this.”

“If you like her, you should ask her out.”

“No. I’m not ready to date Rachel or anyone else.”

Understanding glimmered in Ross’s eyes, and his mischievous expression faded. “It’s been four years, Cam. It’s okay to be attracted to someone else.”

Cam’s throat constricted. Four years wasn’t long enough to erase the painful memories. He’d never realized how much his wife and son meant to him until it was too late and they were gone.

“Your wife wouldn’t expect you to mourn forever,” Ross added. “She’d want to you to move on and make the most of your life.”

Cam swallowed and tried to find his voice. “You didn’t even know Marie.”

Ross nodded, his expression sober. “You’re right. I didn’t. But I know you. And I think it’s time you stop punishing yourself for what happened. It’s not going to bring Marie back.”

Cam turned away and pulled in a shaky breath. Ross was right. There was nothing Cam could do to bring his wife and son back. Marie and Tyler were gone forever because he’d
been too self-absorbed to protect them the way a husband and father should.

He could never forgive himself for that.

R
achel flipped through the display of old movie posters and spotted one featuring Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dancing cheek-to-cheek. She smiled and pulled it from the rack. “Look at this.”

Chandra Wetzel, her friend and choreographer for N.C.Y.T. walked over for a better view. “Oh, I love Fred Astaire. What a charmer.” Sunlight glinted off Chandra’s red wavy hair. Her white peasant blouse and flowing blue skirt showed off her dancer’s figure and reflected her free-spirited style. Chandra sighed with a wistful smile. “Nobody dances like that anymore.”

“They’ve got some great movie posters.” Rachel turned back toward the rack and began thumbing through. “Maybe I should buy a few for the classrooms. What do you think?” When Chandra didn’t answer, Rachel glanced up at her friend.

“Someone is watching us,” Chandra gave a subtle nod as she looked past Rachel’s shoulder.

“What do you mean?”

“There’s a guy across the street taking our picture.”

Fear snaked up Rachel’s back and tightened around her chest, making it hard to pull in her next breath. Could it be
Kyle? Had he followed her all the way up here from Seattle? How was that possible? She thought she’d covered her tracks by changing jobs, changing phone numbers and moving more than ninety miles away. “Is he tall with dark hair?” Rachel forced out the words, refusing to turn around and see for herself.

“Yeah, and he’s kind of cute in a quirky way. Nice dresser.” Chandra smiled and started to lift her hand.

Panic skittered along Rachel’s nerves. “Wait!” She grabbed Chandra’s arm. “I don’t want him to know we see him.”

“It’s too late for that. I already smiled at him.” Chandra frowned at her. “What’s the matter?”

“I…I just don’t like the idea of someone taking my picture without my permission.” With a shaky hand she replaced the poster. Should she slip out the other side of the tent and hope he wouldn’t follow, or turn around and face him?

Confronting Kyle had only made things worse in Seattle. The police advised her to ignore him and pretend his skulking around didn’t bother her. But that had been impossible.

What if he started following her again? A cold sweat broke out on her forehead, and her stomach swirled. She touched Chandra’s shoulder. “Let’s get out of here.”

“But I thought you wanted to get some posters.”

“Not now. We need to leave.” Rachel wove through the display of books, heading toward the opposite side of the tent.

“The guy’s not creepy or anything. He looks totally normal.”

Rachel shook her head. That’s what she’d thought at first, too. It was only later she learned Kyle’s problems were well hidden behind his winsome appearance. “It’s not normal to spy on someone with a camera.” She ducked out the back door of the tent. “Come on. Let’s cut across the Village Green.”

Chandra followed, toting two shopping bags of items she’d purchased earlier. “I don’t think he was spying on us. He’s probably just a photographer from the paper or something. He had a nice camera, and there was another guy with him who looked like a reporter—blond curly hair, good-looking, but he had kind of a fierce expression.”

Rachel turned. “What did you say?”

“I’m saying we just walked away from two cute guys who probably wanted to meet us, and that’s a cryin’ shame.”

“No, I mean about the guy with the photographer.”

Chandra shrugged. “I said he’s blond and good-looking, sort of reminded me of a lion.”

Rachel gulped in a breath.

“Rachel?” a man called from somewhere behind her.

She stopped, her heart pounding in her throat, trying to process the voice. It didn’t sound like Kyle, but—

Chandra spun around. “Hey, the photographer knows you?”

Rachel swallowed and slowly turned around.

Ross and Cam wove through the crowded Village Green toward them. Cam sent her a half smile. Ross lifted his hand and waved.

“Well, if it isn’t our mystery men,” Chandra whispered.

Rachel’s heartbeat slowly returned to normal, and she forced a smile. “Hi, guys.”

Rachel introduced Chandra. “She’s the choreographer for N.C.Y.T., so you’ll be seeing a lot more of her around the Arts Center soon.”

“Wow, that’s great. I’m a bit of a dancer myself.” Ross did a brief tap dance right there on the brick walkway.

Chandra grinned. “You could give Fred Astaire a run for his money.”

“If he was still alive,” Cam added with a wry smile.

Ross ignored Cam. “So, have you lovely ladies had lunch?”

“Not yet.” Chandra smiled, her blue eyes shining.

“Cam and I were just headed over to get something to eat. Would you like to come along?”

Rachel glanced at Cam, trying to gauge how he felt about the invitation, but he remained silent and unreadable. Chandra watched her expectantly. “Sure. We’re ready for lunch.”

“I wish we hadn’t parked so far away.” Chandra held up her two shopping bags. “I’d love to stash these. My arms are getting tired.”

“My car is just around the corner. Why don’t you and I walk up there and put these in the trunk?” Ross reached for one of Chandra’s bags. “Maybe you two could scout out the lunch options, and we’ll meet you back here in about ten minutes.”

Cam nodded. “Sure.”

Rachel fell into step beside Cam. An awkward silence settled around them as they followed the smell of grilled burgers drifting in the air. “Did you and Ross see the craft booths?”

Cam nodded. “We should probably sign up next year.”

“Good idea.” She smiled, glad he’d come to that conclusion himself.

“So, drama classes start next week?” He didn’t look too bothered by the prospect. That was a good sign.

“Yes, on Tuesday. I can’t wait for the kids to see our new classrooms and the auditorium. There’s so much more space, such potential. They’re going to love it!”

A smile lifted one side of his mouth. “You are the eternal optimist.”

She ducked her chin and laughed. “I suppose so. Hope it’s not too irritating.”

His gaze connected with hers. “I’m getting used to it.”

A zing of awareness traveled through her, and her heart lifted.

His cell phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and looked at the screen. “It’s my sister, Shannon.” He sent her an apologetic look. “I should probably take this.”

“Oh, sure. I don’t mind.” They stopped in the shade of a tree in front of a cute shop called Katie’s Cupcakes. Rachel turned to look at a display of delicious looking bakery items that had been set out on tables along the sidewalk.

Cam tapped the screen and lifted the cell phone to his ear. “Hi, Shannon. What’s up?”

Rachel took a couple steps away, giving him a bit of privacy, but she was still close enough to hear his side of the conversation.

“What?” His face darkened, and his golden brows drew together. “When did you find out?” He turned and paced down the sidewalk a few steps. “Are you sure about this place? What does Eric say? Maybe I should check it out.” He listened for a couple more minutes, his profile stern.

“What about Kayla?” Cam’s lips formed a grim line. “Sure. Whatever you need. I’ll see what I can find out and call you tonight.” He tapped the screen to end his call and dropped the phone in his pocket.

“Everything okay?” Rachel asked.

An unsettled look filled his eyes. “My sister had cancer a few years ago, and it’s back.”

Rachel’s stomach dropped. “Oh, Cam. I’m sorry.”

“Me, too. She had surgery and chemo treatments four years ago. That was really rough on her, but she made it through, and every test has been clear until now.”

Rachel folded her arms, hugging them across her stomach. “What will she do now?”

“She wants to go to a special treatment center in Mexico. I’m going to check it out online, maybe give them a call. I
don’t really like the idea of her going out of the country, but she seems to think it’s the best option.” He rubbed his neck and blew out a deep breath.

“Is she married?”

“Yes. Her husband, Eric, is a great guy. If she goes to Mexico, he’ll go with her, and they want me to take care of their daughter, Kayla.” Uncertainty filled his eyes. “I’ll do anything I can to help them…but I’m not sure how I’d keep a fourteen-year-old girl busy all summer.”

“She’d need to stay that long?”

He nodded. “Eight to twelve weeks. The program includes medical treatment, nutrition, counseling and emotional and spiritual support.”

Her ears perked up at the mention of spiritual support. What did he mean by that?

They started off down the sidewalk at a slower pace. Rachel couldn’t imagine how difficult it would be to face cancer the second time, or to watch your mom fight that kind of battle. Remembering the girls in her drama group and all the normal emotional ups and downs at that age, her heart went out to Kayla. This had to be a huge challenge for her, for all of them.

But just feeling sympathetic wasn’t going to change anything. True compassion meant reaching out to help. But what could she do?

An idea began to take shape in her mind, and she looked up at Cam. “Do you think Kayla would like to come to drama camp?”

“I don’t know.” He pondered it a moment, then shook his head. “I don’t think we can afford that right now. Paying for Shannon’s cancer treatment has to be the priority for all of us.”

Rachel nodded. “I’d like to offer her a scholarship. She could come as many days a week as you like for as long as
she’s here. Maybe she’d like to try out for the summer musical. That would really keep her busy. And she’d be right there in the building with you all day.”

The lines on his forehead eased. “Wow, that’s quite an offer.”

“She’d spend time with kids her own age and learn some new skills.”

He smiled. “Thanks, Rachel. I appreciate it, and I know Kayla will, too.” His warm expression totally changed his face.

“I wish I could do more. I can’t imagine going through something like this at her age.”

“Yeah, it’s been hard on all of them for the last few years, especially waiting and wondering after each checkup. And now Shannon is facing an even bigger battle.” He clenched his jaw and looked away, but not quick enough to hide the moisture glistening in his eyes.

Rachel touched his arm. “I’ll pray for her, Cam, for all of you.”

“Thanks. I know that’s how she made it through the first time. Hundreds of people prayed for her. She and Eric are both Christians…. I just hope their faith is strong enough for what’s ahead.”

Cam talked about his family’s faith in such familiar terms, but where did he stand?

A tremor passed through her. “What about you, Cam? How are you going to get through this?”

He narrowed his eyes and focused on the crowd passing by. “Guess I’m going to do what I always do. Stay focused, keep working, hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.”

Her heart sunk like a rock tossed in a pond. How could that kind of belief system help him through a huge trial like this? Why didn’t he tap into the hope and spiritual anchor God longed to provide?