Seeing Shadows (18 page)

I looked down at Jenny's short stature and grinned. "Maybe I can put you up on my shoulders," I joked.

"Don't think she won't take you up on that offer," Sarah warned with a laugh. "Come on."

Sarah navigated through the crowd and we followed behind, cutting a path through the throngs of people. We staked out a spot a few feet from the stage. I didn't want to get too close because it tended to get a little crazy right in front of the stage.

"Joel must be ecstatic," Sarah said, surveying the bar. "I've never seen it so crowded this early."

"There's been a lot of buzz about the new lead singer," Jenny said. "It doesn't hurt that he's hot. Claire Kroner is in the same music composition class as Simon, and she said that the girls were swooning over him. The professor asked him to give a sample of something he had composed, and apparently he was amazing."

That didn't surprise me. Simon would succeed at anything in life. He was one of those golden people who loved life, and life loved him right back. Life didn't seem to faze Simon, and he took what he wanted with confidence and a smile. I felt him pull further away from my reach as I realized how different we were. While Simon was loving life, I was trying to shield myself from it. We were utterly mismatched.

My depressing thoughts were interrupted by the crowd going crazy. I looked up and saw the guys stepping onto the stage. Grant grinned and took a bow before he settled behind the drums, which made the crowd get even louder. Marcus gave a shy smile and waved as he slipped his bass guitar around his shoulder. Simon already had his guitar slung around him as he took his place in the front, grabbing the microphone. I felt my breath quicken as I watched him. He seemed different than the Simon I had joked around with earlier, picking out sheets and towels. His stage presence was unmistakable as he grinned cockily at the crowd, his smile causing girls around me to scream. It was intimidating seeing him up there with the crowd worshipping him before he had even uttered a word. Simon's blue eyes seemed electric as he soaked up the crowd's enthusiasm.

"Thanks for coming out tonight," he said, his deep and rumbling voice magnified by the microphone. "I'm Simon and I'm honored to be a part of the Henchmen. We've got some favorites that I'm sure you're familiar with, along with some new songs. We hope you enjoy it."

Simon started strumming the beginning to a song I knew by heart as Grant and Marcus joined in. It was one of the Henchmen's more popular songs and the crowd went crazy when they recognized it. As Simon played the intro, he was scanning the crowd. His eyes locked on mine and I gave him a half-hearted smile, not sure how well he could see into the crowd. Simon winked and quirked his mouth, as if he were finding amusement in the whole thing and sharing the humor with me. I flushed at his attention and quickly took a sip of my beer, breaking eye contact.

When I looked up again, Simon was back to gazing at the crowd with half-lidded eyes. Then he started singing.

I felt my insides clench at his voice. Abe had been a good singer but Simon was in a whole other category. Simon's voice was at times like gilded velvet, flowing over you seductively as the soothing quality of his voice took your breath away. Other times it was harsh and raspy, calling on raw emotion as you felt every word he was singing. He captivated the audience, standing on the stage like he owned it.

I surveyed the crowd and saw the rapt attention everyone was giving the band, listening with awe, and then screaming with fervor when the Henchmen would hit a fast and hard part of the song.

"Good grief," Sarah said, leaning over and talking closely into my ear so I could hear her over the crowd. "Simon is freaking amazing. I think I just fell in love with him along with every other girl in here."

I gave her a small smile. "Yeah, he's really good," I said. I couldn't help but feel a little sad because I knew that Simon was no longer mine. Not that he had been mine to begin with, but I doubted that he would pay such singular attention to me now that the campus of Maxwell had discovered his existence. Someone as golden as Simon, entrancing the crowd, didn't fit in my world. A world where I was focused on graduating, getting a job and figuring out a way to live my life as normally as possible.

But it wasn't just the fact that Simon seemed untouchable now. I had been lucky that I hadn't had a vision of him since we had met, but it was only a matter of time until I had one again. I usually kept having visions of someone as long as I still had contact with that person. It was a miracle that I hadn't had another one of Simon yet.

So this distance I felt opening up between us shouldn't depress me. I told myself this was a good thing even though I could feel a hard ball of unhappiness starting to form in the pit of my stomach.

"I changed my mind," Sarah breathed out as Grant started his drum solo. "Simon's second in line." She watched Grant with glowing eyes as he worked the drum set, his hands a blur as he feverishly pounded out a frenetic beat. I sighed softly to myself. I guess I wasn't the only one with problems.

Grant's solo came to an end and the Henchmen finished the song to thunderous approval from the crowd. I clapped until my hands tingled as Sarah and Jenny joined in the hooting and hollering. Despite my depressing thoughts, I was glad that Simon was receiving such a positive response from the fans.

"This next song is a new one," Simon said into the microphone. "Let me know if you like it," he said with a wink. A slow smile curved his lips as the girls went wild.

The next song was slower than the first one, almost ballad-like. I let his honeyed words flow over me, content to be just one of the throngs now. Simon was amazing and he was my friend. I was happy for him.

She's a siren beckoning me

Tempting me to follow her out into the sea

Resistance a thought that never revealed itself

Drowning a fear I never believed

She draws me closer to the edge

Her eyes guiding my soul

It's either a promise or curse

My need embraces both

 
Simon's voice was hypnotic, as was evidenced by the crowd swaying along, swept up in the beauty of his voice. The melody of the song was haunting, the lyrics weaving a tale of love or destruction, I wasn't sure which. I felt tension starting to rise in me as I listened to his words which were eerily connected to my vision of him. I tried to block out the images and concentrate on the song. Simon's eyes were hooded as he looked out into the crowd and I felt a jolt as he locked eyes with me, his normally bright blue eyes dark and piercing, skewering me to the spot so that I couldn't move. Could hardly breathe.

I can't deny her

I won't deny her

Even if she denies me

Slowly and smoothly I slip below

Her raven hair my guide into the underworld

She breathes for me as my body stops

Our breaths become one

This is happiness for me

As I follow her out to sea

Resistance is unfamiliar

Drowning is forgotten

I can't deny her

I won't deny her

Even if she denies me

I felt fear and desire warring inside of me. Fear because his words were dangerously close to the vision I had seen of him dying. Drowning was one of the worst ways to see a person die, the struggling and fear in their eyes slicing through me. But desire was winning over the fear. Simon's eyes were locked solely on me, never wavering, and I couldn't deny him. I stood rooted to the floor, staring back. I was vaguely aware of people looking around, trying to see who he was staring so intently at and the excited rumblings of those close by as they realized it was me. I heard Jenny gasp and clutch my arm, but it was as if I was numb to everything except Simon's voice and penetrating gaze.

She enchanted me with her raven hair

Her eyes a promise and a curse

The promise was absolution

The curse was completion

That's the end of my forgotten tale

From the deep dark depths below

The light above has faded

Silence filling the air

But I can't deny her

I won't deny her

Even if she denies me

Simon finished the song on a whisper and the crowd erupted in cheers. This broke me out of my trance and I quickly looked away, breaking the connection between us that seemed tangible.

"Holy shit," Sarah murmured in amazement. I quickly looked at Sarah and she shook her head slowly. "I think I just witnessed Simon's declaration to you. I thought 'making love with his eyes' was just an expression but I've just seen it."

Jenny clutched my hand as the Henchmen started an upbeat song. "You better make me a bridesmaid."

"You guys!" I protested. Now that the magic of the song had receded, I cringed at how idiotic I must have looked, gazing at Simon in adoration. The fact that he had been staring back didn't minimize the embarrassment. It heightened it. "That's what singers do. They connect with the crowd. We barely know each other. Simon just chose someone to sing the song to and it happened to be me."

Sarah looked at me with a sympathetic smile. "Poor girl. Simon's made her go brain dead."

I laughed, feeling like I could finally take a full breath again since Simon's song. I was overreacting. It didn't help that Sarah and Jenny were overreacting as well. It was a beautiful song but Simon wasn't singing it to me. I looked up onstage and Simon was fervently playing his guitar, passionately singing a song about love and betrayal. He worked the crowd, making eye contact with fans as his gaze moved around, making each person think he was singing solely to them for that moment. Simon was a performer. And he had given a brilliant performance with me, letting every girl imagine what it would be like for him to sing solely to them. He had just chosen me as the vessel.