Seeing Shadows (13 page)

Simon put both his hands out, palms up in apology. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just saw you running like you were being chased and wanted to make sure you were okay."

As my heart started beating at a normal rate again, I looked closer at Simon. From the illumination of the light through the windows, I could see that he was wearing a dark green coat, jeans and sneakers. His hair was in its usual mussed state, but perfectly mussed.

He must spend hours getting his hair to look like that,
I thought uncharitably. I felt uncharitable towards him as a whole. Not just because he had scared me, but because he had no right looking so good while I was sure I looked a fright with my windblown hair, trying to catch my breath.

"I'm fine," I replied through gritted teeth. I turned to walk up the stairs when his hand on my arm stopped me again.

"Are you sure?" Simon asked, gently turning me towards him again. "Last night, Sarah said that you were feeling sick."

I forced myself to relax my grip on the stair handrail and smile at him. It wasn't Simon's fault that I had become paranoid on my walk home. And he seemed really concerned.

"I'm fine," I said, with a small shake of my head. "I think I was just overtired yesterday. Nothing a good night's sleep couldn't take care of." I didn't mention that I hadn't had a good night's sleep at all. I had spent it tossing and turning, unable to turn off the thoughts in my mind.

Simon placed one foot on the first step of the stairs, keeping his hand on my arm and drawing in closer. "I'm glad to hear that. Did you get through your Economics homework okay?" he asked, a small smile on his face.

I laughed, feeling myself relax "I got through it okay. I'm hoping one of these days it all becomes clear to me." I paused. "How was practice?"

Simon grinned. "It was great. It's amazing how much Grant, Marcus and I have been able to meld our sound together. I've played with other guys before, but the three of us just seem instantly in tune with one another. I can understand Grant and Marcus being like that, since they've been in a band together for a while, and even me and Grant since we've played together a lot before. But the three of us haven't played together too often. Just a few times this past summer and a couple of times these past few days. And it's already exceeding my expectations. It's just really exciting."

I smiled at Simon's enthusiasm. He seemed different when talking about the band. Innocently excited and sweet. "That's great," I replied. "I'm sure you guys are going to be awesome next Saturday." I thought of Sarah waiting for me. "Anyways, I've gotta go. Sarah's waiting for me to eat and she's probably about to pass out from starvation."

"Okay," Simon said, a little reluctantly I thought. "Well, I guess I'll see you later."

I gave him a quick smile. Simon seemed different tonight. Less cocky and more vulnerable. I didn't let myself examine that too closely. "Sure, see you later." I ran upstairs, breaking his hold on my arm, not looking behind me to see if he was watching me.

"Finally," I heard Sarah exclaim from the kitchen when I shut the front door behind me. "I've been wasting away here waiting for you."

I laughed as I walked to the kitchen. "Well, I'm here to save you from starvation." I saw that Sarah had laid out ingredients for sandwiches on the counter. "Is that what you want to have for dinner? Sandwiches?"

"I don't know," Sarah replied. "But that's one of the few things I can make without burning down the house."

I grinned. "Let me drop my stuff off in my room and I'll help you rustle something up." I walked to my bedroom and dropped my backpack on the bed and hung my coat in the closet. I checked my reflection in the mirror hanging on the back of my closet door and grimaced. My hair was sticking out in multiple directions from being blown in the wind and my cheeks were red from the cold. So much for hoping I hadn't looked as disheveled as I had felt when talking to Simon. I grabbed an elastic band off my dresser and quickly wrestled my hair into a ponytail.

Sarah was looking through the cupboards when I walked back into the kitchen. "We have absolutely nothing to eat," she announced sadly. "Unless you feel like eating canned soup."

I peeked at the cupboards behind her. "Hmm," I said, surveying our selection. Sarah wasn't exaggerating when she said we were running low on food, but there were still a few viable options. "We could go the quick and easy route and eat grilled cheese with tomato soup, or we could go the longer and more complicated route of chicken paillard."

Sarah looked at me in disbelief. "I will never get over your cooking skills, no matter how long I know you. I don't even know what the heck chicken paillard is. You have to promise to make it for me some time, but let's go with quick and easy tonight. I'll handle the soup portion."

I laughed, grabbing the bread that Sarah had already laid out on the counter. "I've made it for you before," I said, opening another cupboard to grab the frying pan. "It's the thin lemony chicken with arugula on top."

"Oh, yeah!" Sarah exclaimed, grabbing a can of soup and a saucepan. "That stuff is amazing. But I'm still for quick and easy tonight. I'm starving."

Sarah and I made our dinner and spent the rest of the night eating and watching bad reality shows on TV. I felt happy and content in our warm little apartment, the unease that had quickened my pulse earlier forgotten.

**********

The following week went by in a blur full of classes and shifts at Colette's. It was still cold but the sun was out in full force as well, almost giving a convivial feeling on campus as students lingered outside instead of hurrying to their classes. I was looking forward to spring, when the quad would be full of students lounging around on the grass, impromptu frisbee games breaking out on the lawn.

I was still vision-free and I hadn't seen Simon except once on Wednesday, when we had crossed paths leaving our apartments in the morning. Simon's hair had still been wet from his shower and if I thought he filled out a t-shirt well, the way he looked in his button down had made my mouth go dry. Our conversation had been quick, amounting to nothing more than a greeting and inquiry as to how each other was.

I felt a small pit of emptiness in my stomach as I began to realize that it was indeed because Simon hadn't known anyone else that he had paid such singular attention to me last weekend. He must be meeting new people, now that he had started classes. I told myself that this was a good thing, and that I had imagined the intensity of his eyes as he had spoken to me during our brief words that Wednesday morning.

By the time my Friday evening shift at Colette's rolled around, I felt like I was in a good place emotionally. I had aced my last Economics assignment and I had the weekend before me. I had also accepted the lack of interest from Simon and embraced it.

So I waited on tables with ease and a lighthearted step. Colleen was back on duty behind the cash register, cracking jokes and making change. Marnie was the other waitress on duty, and when there was a lull we would loiter around the register chatting.

"I heard that the Henchmen are playing tomorrow night," Marnie said, tucking her pen into her shirt pocket. "I can't wait to hear the new guy." Marnie knew that I was good friends with the band and she was a self-professed groupie, although one that I actually liked.

"I haven't heard the new line-up either," I replied, scanning my tables to make sure no one needed anything.

"So, give me the dirt on the new guy. He's Grant's cousin, right?" Marnie asked eagerly, leaning forward. I was amazed at how quickly news traveled at Maxwell, but that was one of the things that came with going to a small school.

"Yes," I said nonchalantly. "His name is Simon. He seems like a nice guy."

"Nice?" Marnie screeched. "I saw him on campus with Grant and Marcus. All you can say about him is he's nice? He is
so
hot!" Marnie jumped up and down at her last statement for emphasis.

I laughed at Marnie's antics. Colleen raised an eyebrow as she looked at Marnie. "Child, calm down. This place ain't zoned for X-rated shenanigans." With that, she looked pointedly at Marnie's chest. Marnie had been generously gifted by nature, and jumping around only focused more attention on her gifts. The only uniform we had to wear at the cafe was a t-shirt with Colette's emblazoned on the front, and Marnie's chest strained against the lettering.

"Oh hush," Marnie said, but she crossed her arms against her chest. "Just wait'll you see him, Colleen. Even you'll think he's hot. He's tall, dark and built. Never mind his butt! Now that's a butt you want to bite!"

I laughed, waving my hands in protest. "I can't listen to this anymore," I said. "I'll never be able to look at Simon again without picturing you attached to his nether regions, Marnie."

Marnie giggled and made a show of baring her teeth and gnashing them together. I laughed hard, leaning against the counter and bending over, trying to catch my breath. Marnie was one of the craziest people I knew and it was always a blast working with her. She was my total opposite - saying anything that came into her mind and not holding back. She was a breath of fresh air.

As I straightened, I heard Marnie give a little shriek. She was staring at the front door, and when I turned to see what had startled her, I saw Simon walking in. I felt my pulse quicken at his approach. He was back to wearing a t-shirt, and now I was sure that he had never looked better. Forget the button down.

One of us should have walked up to the hostess station, but we just stood there as he walked towards us, as if he were a mirage conjured up by our conversation. Simon gave us an easy grin as he approached the register.

"It looks like I'm interrupting something," he said, surveying us. I glanced at Marnie and wanted to kick her for standing there with her mouth open, staring at Simon. Colleen had a smirk on her face as she looked at Simon. "You ain't interrupting anything. How much you wanna bet your name is Simon?"

I shot Colleen a dirty look. The last thing I wanted Simon to think was that I was talking about him. Well, I had been, but only because Marnie had brought him up! Colleen ignored my look and just chuckled.

Simon's grin grew wider as he looked at me. "Are you talking me up already?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow.

"More like warning everyone about your ego," I retorted back. I turned to Colleen and Marnie. "Oh, and he's a creeper. He creeps up on you and scares you to death. He nearly gave me a heart attack last week sneaking up on me." I turned back to Simon. "You should wear a bell or something."

Simon laughed loudly at my comment. I was unsure whether to be pleased or annoyed by his reaction so I just stood there. Marnie sidled up next to me and beamed at Simon.

"Hi, I'm Marnie. I'm so excited to hear you guys play tomorrow night. I'm a big Henchmen fan, but I can already tell I'm going to be an even bigger fan now. Mike and Abe were great, but wow, you're hot. If you can sing and play guitar anywhere as near as how hot you are, you're going to be awesome."

I cringed at Marnie's word-spew, but Simon just seemed amused. He must be used to this adoration. "Thanks for your vote of confidence, Marnie," he replied with a smile. "I look forward to seeing you at the show tomorrow."

"You bet!" Marnie squealed, practically bouncing up and down. I wondered if Simon was noticing her bountiful gifts.

"You here to eat?" Colleen asked, squinting her eyes and adjusting the ludicrous beret on top of her head.

"Sorry, no," Simon said, smiling apologetically. "Although I ate here last Saturday and your blueberry pancakes were out of this world."

Colleen grinned proudly. I wanted to roll my eyes. Was there no one that Simon couldn't charm?

Simon looked at me. "I was just grabbing some beers for the gang helping me unpack and Colette's was on my way so I decided to drop in to say hi," he explained. "I've been so busy this week with my classes and rehearsing that I feel like I haven't seen you at all."

I tried to ignore the fluttering of my heart and gave Simon a small smile. "Oh, I'm sure you've been busy getting used to a new school and everything," I said. "No worries. I've been pretty busy too."