See How She Awakens (17 page)

“Well, let’s get to it then. I need to remember, and if this will help, then so be it,” I said, holding Aberto’s gaze.

“I will return.” Aberto brushed his fingers across my cheek before disappearing. Where in the heck did he keep his tattooing stuff? No really. Did he have another shack in another desert somewhere? Or did he have them stashed under the floorboards where I couldn’t find them?

“Izzy, how are you feeling?” Eleanor had moved to replace Aberto while my mind was distracted, standing close by my side.

“I’m surviving.” In truth, it was a struggle to take each breath, to not hide myself away. Although I’d gotten a hold on the darkness within me, my grief was still overpowering. I wanted so badly to be with Kennan, to see him one more time. 

A warm hand clasped mine, pulling me from my memories. If anyone understood what I was feeling, it was Eleanor. She’d lost her daughter to the beginnings of this madness. “How do you endure the pain?” I asked, hoping she might have some miraculous cure for my sorrow.

“I’m still trying to figure that out. For now, I stay busy. I focus on what I can do to make the world safer so others don’t have to suffer as I have. That makes it more bearable.”  Eleanor’s honesty was refreshing. She’d told me the truth where so many others would’ve just said “it will get better” or “time will heal.” She knew as well as I, it wouldn’t ever be better.  The loss of Kennan was a permanent wound.  I might learn to live with the pain someday, but it would never really be gone. 

“I appreciate your honesty.”

“Izzy, may I ask you something?” Eleanor hesitated, seemingly unsure of whether she should even ask what was on her mind.

“Of course. What is it?”

“Do you love him?” Eleanor’s question took me off guard. I’d thought she was going to ask me about the darkness inside me, or perhaps the ceremony. 

“I absolutely love Kennan. Why would you ask that?”

“Not him, my dear one, Aberto.” Eleanor paused for a beat before continuing, “I’ve seen the way the two of you move around one another. Every time I’ve been in a room with the both of you, I’ve noticed there is some sort of magnetic pull that draws you together.”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” It was something that had been on my mind for longer than I cared to admit. Even when Kennan was alive, I’d felt the pull. I still wasn’t sure what it was that drew me to Aberto.  Whether it was his soul inside of my own, or if it were some sort of trick fate had played to throw us together. “Regardless, I’m not ready to love someone like that again. Not yet.”

“Just promise me something,” Eleanor paused, squeezing my hand softly, “don’t forget to live. Kennan wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life in mourning for him. He knew the truth of what was to come, and he asked Aberto to watch over you. He knew what that meant.”

Eleanor’s words were like a punch to the gut. Kennan had asked Aberto to watch over me, I knew that, but when Eleanor said it, the context was completely different. The thought of being with someone else was unsettling. The agony I’d experienced when Kennan was ripped from my life wasn’t something I was ready to relive. For now, I would be my own person. Someday, maybe. But now—now I had more important things to think of than my love life. 

“I’m not ready.” It was the truth, I wasn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to either Aberto or me if I tried to pursue something. I’d just be trying to bury my grief under other feelings, and it would never really go away. I knew I had to come to terms with his death before I could ever truly move on.

Aberto reappeared in the room, carrying a satchel that contained the tattooing implements. It was as though he’d been lingering on the fringes, waiting for our conversation to end. He held me with his steady gaze for a moment before moving toward me, always assessing me with his ancient eyes.

“Are you prepared?” Aberto asked.

“Let’s get this show on the road,” I replied, prompting a confused look from Aberto. I loved that face. I could visibly see his mind working to translate the euphemism; it all played out on his face, culminating in a moment of understanding.

“Lay down, and we will begin.” Aberto set his bag down to pull out the stylus. I hadn’t been tattooed since I’d changed into whatever I’d become, so I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.

“Will this even work?” I asked, lowering myself down on the fainting couch.

“I believe it will.” His unsure reply didn’t do much to calm my nerves.

You will regret doing this. Don
’
t open your mind
’
s eye.  If you do, you will perish.

The darkness had resurfaced. I hadn’t heard from it in a while, strange it would choose now to reappear. Clearly, there was something trapped in my mind it didn’t want me to remember.  Something Kennan and Molly had both tried to show me. 

“I need to know,” I answered the darkness. 

“Are you ready?” Eleanor’s calming voice came from behind the couch. Her hand rested lightly on my shoulder. It seemed everyone around the Order was growing used to me talking to myself. Aberto still couldn’t discern when I was addressing him or the darkness.  Strange, that. 

“Yes.” I slowly exhaled as Aberto moved toward me with the stylus. His eyes searching mine, testing to be sure this is what I wanted. Whether I really wanted the mark or not wasn’t important, I had to remember. Right now I was about as useless as they came. If I could remember, maybe I could find a way to stop what was coming.

As the stylus touched my forehead, searing agony ripped through my veins.  The darkness was fighting the mark, doing its best to convince me to stop.  My resolve hardened as my teeth clamped down against the pain.  The darkness resisted, causing my body to arc.  Agony boiled in my veins with every small mark. 

“Izzy, it has barely started, are you sure you wish to continue?” Aberto asked, his voice laced with fear. 

“Finish. It.” I gritted between clamped teeth. Cold sweat broke out over my body as Aberto pressed on. The pain clawed through me as he worked to complete the mark.

“Almost done,” Aberto promised.

A blinding light exploded behind my eyelids as Aberto finished the mark.  The pain receded, only to be replaced by memories of things that should never have been forgotten.  Visions sprung into focus. 

The battlefield loomed before me.  It was time to act.  Kennan was gone and I had nothing left to live for.  I would destroy the demon and end this forever. 

The memory played on, visions I wished I
’
d never have to see again loomed before me. The demon drew near, and when I embraced him, I saw the truth. The truth I
’
d somehow forgotten. It wasn
’
t the Old One that had orchestrated the uprising, it had been the Council. Their faces flickered through the mind of the demon as I pulled it under. Damali, Eric, Francesca, and
…
the other one. The one I
’
d called Brutus.

They all stood, encircling a strange knotted ring on the ground. In the center lay a Seer, one I
’
d seen at the Council while I
’
d been there. She was staked to the ground; her arms and legs pulled painfully outward. Runes covered her, shredding her skin into a pulpy mess. Pure terror shone upon her face as the four chanted. Their voices rose until they reached a feverish chorus. A soul-shattering cry ripped through the room, silencing everything in its wake as the Seer burst into flames, her skin charring instantly. In her place was an inhuman figure with blackened skin, blood oozing from every orifice.

“
Arise. May darkness prevail and bring justice to this forsaken world,
”
Damali spoke to the creature that had been a Seer moments before. 

The charred body began to rise, ripping itself free from the stakes binding it to the ground.  An eerie smile danced over its lips as it took its first step out of the circle.  The moment its foot hit the ground, it dissolved into a pile of ash. 

A roar of anger ripped from Brutus
’
s chest.
“
We need a stronger Seer. This is not working!
”
he shouted. 

“
We have plenty to choose from.
”
Francesca replied blankly staring off into the distance.  I wondered if she ever conveyed any emotions. 

“
Remember,
”
Kennan
’
s voice echoed in my mind.
“
Remember before it is too late.
”

Afflicted by the memories the darkness had kept at bay, my mind seemed to continue expanding. I
’
d never felt such agony before. Not when I
’
d exploded on the battlefield, not when Kennan had been ripped from me, nothing could compare to this endless onslaught. The memories burned through my mind, charring a path that led straight to the vision Molly had shown me.

I was standing in what had once been Isadora
’
s office, back at the Council. It was never really mine. Anchored in front of the desk, my feet unmoving, the vision played out. Where it had once been a blur, the darkness blocking out what it didn
’
t want me to see, it was now clear.

“
You will do this, Seer.
”
Damali clasped her hands together, leaning toward me.
“
You are already an abomination, in this you will be redeeming yourself. Do you not wish to earn your place in the heavens? This is what we were called to do.
”

I could see in her eyes she truly believed the words she spoke. She somehow thought reigning destruction upon the world would earn her a place in heaven. I
’
d seen this sort of madness in movies before, but I never thought it could really happen. She had not only convinced herself this madness was the way to gain God
’
s favor, she
’
d also managed to gain the support of others. Perhaps her talents were those of persuasion. Regardless, it was madness. Madness I wouldn
’
t be a part of.

Reality violently ripped back into focus.

“The Council,” I gasped, struggling to sit up.

“What do you mean?” Eleanor looked infuriated. I wasn’t sure if her anger was directed at me, or the information.

“They’re the ones behind this. They’re trying to summon the darkness into life. Sacrificing Seers.”  I couldn’t speak in full sentences.  My stomach roiled at the memory of the Seer that had been transformed, only to end in a pile of ash.  I sat up, putting my head between my legs.  I had to get myself under control.  The pain was starting to fade, leaving me shaking in its wake.

“Calm yourself.” Aberto’s hard voice pulled my focus away from what I was feeling. Irritation replaced the panic. As I looked up into his face I could see a brief smile play out upon his lips. He’d done it on purpose.

“Not cool,” I said, glaring up at him, even if I was secretly thankful for the diversion. 

“Explain, Izzy.” Eleanor’s brows were creased. I’d never seen her be anything but stoic. Even in her sadness, she wasn’t an emotive person. Something told me, Eleanor was a force to be reckoned with when angry.

“Let us gather the Order. This is a matter that concerns more than us.” Aberto touched my arm briefly before disappearing out of the door.

“Can it be stopped?” Eleanor asked.

The visions Molly had shown me played out in my minds’ eye. If I weren’t strong enough to fight them, then I would become their Revenant, their weapon against humanity, but in the second vision, I’d been strong. I’d stopped them. 

“I’m not sure,” I answered honestly.  What was the difference between the two scenarios? In one I was strong enough to fight, but in the other, I failed.  Worry settled in as people began to file into the room. 

You won
’
t be strong enough. You will do their bidding, my bidding,
the darkness promised.

Seers and Guardians filled the room; some I knew, and others I did not. Their faces were a sea of confusion and concern.

As I rose to stand, Aberto moved to my side, clasping my hand. His presence was a welcome comfort, my very own security blanket.

“What have you discovered?” Mona stood at the front of the gathered group.  Bodies crammed every available space in the room, struggling for space amongst the piles of books.  This room was not meant for gatherings. 

“The Council has been corrupted.” A sharp intake of breath echoed through the room. Guardians and Seers began to speak at once. Questions, fears, speculation assaulted me, making me feel weak at the knees.