Secrets (Swept Saga) (7 page)

“What is it?” Gabriel asks.

“Ryan wants to go out tonight.” I answer. “I’ve got to go.”

“But I just got here.” Gabriel says.

“I know and I’m happy you came, but I really have to go. I’m sorry. Thank you for talking to me though.” I say and give him a hug.

“But...” He says and I cut him off with a quick kiss, and head out the door. I don’t look back at Gabriel but I imagine him staring at me with a longing look on his face.

I get back to my dorm, get my shower bag together and take a shower. I quickly wash, shave, and get dressed. I go back to my room and fix my hair and makeup. I look at myself in the mirror and make sure that I approve of my look. I decide that I look good enough, when I hear a knock at the door. Tiffany isn’t here, I don’t know where she’s at, but I answer the door. Ryan is here. He stands there, his brown hair combed, a black blazer is over a black t-shirt, and he’s wearing a pair of dark blue jeans. He hands me a bouquet of flowers. I notice all the different kinds of flowers that are in it and I don’t recognize any of them. “What are they?” I ask

“Well, this bouquet is special, you have Lavender, because I am devoted to you,” He says indicating the purple flowers, “Primrose, because I can’t live without you, Bird of paradise, because you are magnificent, and finally Anemone because my love for you is unfading.”

I don’t know what to say to him. It is the single sweetest gesture anyone has ever done. How he came up with this I don’t know. The flowers all put together are beautiful. I’m going to have to remember to take one of each flower and press it so that I can have them forever. “Thank you.” I finally say, then dig a cup out of the cupboard fill it with water and place the flowers in it. I would cut the stems, but I don’t want to keep Ryan waiting.

Turning to Ryan I give him a hug, “Really, Ryan thank you for the flowers, they’re beautiful. I love them.” Ryan kisses me, then pulls away and leads me to his car. I don’t know where we’re going, I couldn’t get him to tell me, but so far I like how things are going. I still can’t get over how beautiful Ryan’s car is. He is such a lucky guy to have all of this stuff and a father who cares so much about him to finish the car for him. I really wish I knew who my father was. Most of the time, I’m fine with not knowing, but for some reason, I’m now curious. I’m going to have to talk to my mother about it sometime.

“What are you thinking about?” Ryan asks, breaking my train of thought.

“Nothing important.” I answer.

“If you were thinking about it, then it is important.”

“I was wondering who my father is.” I say after releasing a deep breath

“You’ve never cared before whom your father is.”

“I know, but for some reason I’m thinking about it now. I don’t know why, but I kind of want to know who he is. Why did he leave like he did? What color was his hair? What was he like? I have all the questions that haven’t been answered.”

“Didn’t your mother talk about him?”

“No, all she’s told me is that he was gone the minute she told him she was pregnant with me. As far as I know, he’s never met me.”

“Crystal, you shouldn’t worry about it. If he didn’t want you and take the time to get to know you, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

“I know, you’re right, Ryan, but I just can’t help it.”

“What brought on all of this anyway?”

“I was looking at your car and thinking how lucky you are that your father cares so much about you that he fixed your car up for you.”

“Hey, don’t forget that my dad likes you, too.”

“I know, but it’s not the same. I like your family, but they’re not mine.”

“Maybe one day they will be.” He says and I stare at him in shock. Did he just say what I think he said? Is he talking about the “M” word? I’m not ready for that. I know he loves me, but I still don’t know if I love him like that enough to marry him. If we ever did get married, it would be far down the road after I finish college and get a job at NASA.  I’m not going to ruin my chances by dropping out to get married.

“Ryan, I don’t know, I can’t think that far ahead just yet, I...”

“Look, I was just saying one day, a long time from now, don’t worry.” He says cutting me off.

I breathe a sigh of relief. “Well, okay then, but there’s so much I want to do, you know?”

“I know and I want you to accomplish your goals, you know that.”

“I know.” I answer.

Ryan pulls into the parking lot of a restaurant. It’s not as fancy as the one he took me to last time, but it still looks nice all the same. He parks the car, opens my door and escorts me in the restaurant. He gives his name to the hostess and he tells her exactly where he wants us to be seated. I still can’t get over that. I’ve never been with someone who is so commanding. He orders our drinks and an appetizer then stares at me. His eyes gleam with lust, or at least I think that’s what his stare indicates.

“Do you realize just how beautiful you are?” He asks. His brown eyes still carry the same kind of intensity. I blush at his words, and take a moment to really look at him. He is gorgeous, and I don’t know why I’m only noticing this recently. Was I dead the whole time I’ve been friends with him?

“I don’t know about beautiful, but you are handsome.” I tell him and blush again.

“You’re even prettier when you blush.” He smiles at me. “I never did thank you for your picture last night.” He adds with a devilish grin.

“Oh yeah, that.” I blush again. “I have a question, and it may seem weird.” I start.

“Go on.” He prompts

“I was looking at the picture and it seems that one of my boobs is bigger than the other.”

“Crystal, I was staring at the picture all night long last night and there isn’t anything wrong with your tits, in fact they’re fucking beautiful.”

“You don’t think I need a breast augmentation?” I ask.

“What gave you that idea?” He asks

“I don’t know, I think my boobs could be bigger.”

“Crystal, your tits are perfect. I haven’t seen a pair that I like more than yours, they aren’t mismatched and you don’t need implants. You’re perfect just how you are.” He says and reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “I don’t know where you got the idea that you have flaws, but you don’t. Not in my eyes. There isn’t a single thing I would change about you.”

I’m taken aback by his words. I didn’t know he really felt this way about me. He thinks I’m perfect? How can that be? I’m not perfect, I’m not flawless. How does he see this? I feel humbled by his words, and slightly guilty. His feelings for me seem genuine and yet, I still don’t know if I love him. I must be some kind of heartless person. Yet, I still need time. There’s something about Gabriel that draws me and makes me want to get to know him more. He’s free and carefree and I really like that. I recall the motorcycle ride from yesterday. I learned so much about myself just during the ride. What more could Gabriel teach me. I’m frustrated with myself; here I have Ryan pouring his heart and feelings out for me and I’m thinking about Gabriel. What’s wrong with me? Any other girl would be over the moon for a guy who talks and acts like this. I need to stop and just enjoy the moment that I’m having with him right here.

“Ryan, you’re really sweet. I had no idea you felt that way about me.” I tell him, and worry my response is lame. I have got to work on expressing myself.

I worked hard the rest of the night to keep my focus on Ryan, and really appreciate everything that he was doing for me and what he was saying. He really is a great guy. I always knew that, but I’ve never seen this side of him before.

When our date was over he dropped me off at my dorm. I was expecting him to come in with me, but he didn’t. He told me that I needed my sleep so I could be ready for class tomorrow. I knew he was right. I was late to school last week. I don’t want to do that again, and a night cap with Ryan would almost certainly wear me out.

I let myself into my dorm and Tiffany is sitting there watching another movie. I have no idea what it is, but judging by the screams and blood, it’s a horror movie.

“Do you watch anything else?” I ask

“Hello, yourself. I haven’t seen you all day.”

“I’ve been out.”

“Ooh, were you with a guy?”

“Maybe.” I answer unsure if I should tell her everything or not.

“Who was it? Was it Emily’s ex? Did you take pictures so you could send them to her and rub it in her face?”

“What? No? Why would I do that?” I asked, I thought she was Emily’s friend.

“To get back at her for that flyer.” Tiffany answers like it’s the most obvious thing.

“I don’t even know where to start with that.” I answer and walk towards my room. I really don’t want to talk about it right now.

“I know where you can start.” She says, but I’m still not interested. My date with Ryan left me feeling sexually frustrated, and I have and early class tomorrow.

“Tiffany, can we talk about this some other time?” I ask.

“Sure.” She says with a shrug and turns towards the TV. I enter my room, shut the door and lie down in bed. Ryan is so sweet and I wonder if I deserve him. Is it right for me to do what I’m doing with Gabriel? I feel like this is a fight I’m going to be having with myself until I figure out what I want. I almost wish there was a guy out there that has all the things I like about Ryan and all the things I like about Gabriel all mixed together.

My phone goes off and I have a text from Ryan, it’s a picture of his cock, as if I needed another one. I roll my eyes and stare at the picture. He really does have a nice penis. My body jolts with a twinge of pleasure as I imagine his penis inside of me. Soon I’m maneuvering my hand between my panties and skin as I feel my pussy. I bite my lip as I work on relieving my frustration. As I start to build, I need more room to work with. I pull my pants down, rub my clit, and finger myself. Next time I will have to make Ryan finish what he starts. I look over at my phone and imagine his huge cock trusting into me with the kind of power only he can muster and I’m finally sent over the edge and I quietly pant my orgasm. When I’m done, I adjust my clothes and fall asleep.

I wake up the next morning with fading dreams of Ryan smiling sweetly at me, brushing kisses all over me, and proposing to me. Where did that come from? I yawn, stretch and get out of bed. I dig through my closet and put on a t-shirt that reads, “It’s okay Pluto, I’m not a planet either.” I find a pair of jeans pull them on and step into a pair of flats. I brush my hair, put on some makeup, and leave my room. I dig through the cupboards and find a single serving box of cereal. I pour it into a bowl and pour some milk on top. I sit down at the table and munch. The flowers are still in the cup sitting perfectly in the middle of the table. They’re so pretty and I feel all warm and mushy when I think about how Ryan presented them to me. I don’t think I’ll ever forget this bouquet of flowers as long as I live. He put a lot of thought and meaning into it. I finish eating, put the bowl and spoon in the sink and leave for my class.

While I’m walking I notice that everyone is staring at me, pointing at me and whispering. I think I hear my name, turn around, only to receive more stares. I don’t understand what’s going on. When I get into class, there are whistles, cheers, and I hear someone say, “You can steal me anytime.” Then it hits me; the flyer. I guess everyone saw it. Heat rises to my cheeks in embarrassment, and I stare at the floor and take a seat. It can feel everyone’s x-ray eyes on me. I’ve never felt so exposed until now. I focus my eyes on my desk, and notice a folded piece of paper. I open it up, it reads, “Want to fuck?” I’m mortified. I want to walk out and pretend none of this happened. I stare at the words on the note, the paper shakes in my hands. Ryan sits down causing me to jump. He snatches the note out of my trembling hands. “Who wrote this?” He asks me.

“I don’t know,” I answer, my voice barely above a whisper.

Ryan looks around the room, “Why is everyone staring at you?”

“Well, there was this flyer…” I start and the professor walks into the room.

Kelly sits down next to me and the three of us dig out our notebooks so we can take notes.  The lecture from the professor seems to drag on, I take as many notes as I can, but I’m just not in the mood to endure class today. I want to go back to my room and curl up in bed. I want to forget that the flyer incident happened, and I don’t want to tell Ryan about it.

At the end of class, I put everything back into my bag. When I look up there’s a guy standing in front of me. “Did you get my note?” He asks with a creepy perverted grin that I want to slap off his face.

“Why don’t you take your note and shove it up your ass.” Ryan says, coming to my defense.

“It’s not my fault, she’s a man stealing whore. Tell me who she stole you from?” he says with a smug smirk.

“She didn’t steal me from anyone and if you talk about her like that again, I’m going to shove your head up your own asshole.” Ryan threatens.

“Whatever,” the guy says and walks away.

“What is going on?” Kelly asks her eyes wide as she looks at me, then Ryan.

“Remember that night that I had with Gabriel and Emily?” I say swallowing hard.

“Yeah,” they say in unison.