Secrets (Swept Saga) (3 page)

I didn’t bring anything to study, but I need to occupy my time with something. I skim the shelves, looking for a light read. I pass up the usual nonfiction books and look at the fiction. I’m not in the mood for science or history; I’ve got too much on my mind. A peculiar title catches my eye, “Thoughtless scheming,” I pull the book off the shelf and turn it around to the back. The synopsis is the lyrics to a song I recognize, Thoughtless by Korn. I know the song well and I can hear it in my head as I read the lyrics. I haven’t thought of that song in a long time. I have a feeling that this book isn’t the light fluffy read I was looking for, but I want to read it. I open the book and start reading, I’m skeptical but soon I’m lost in the story.

“Crystal.” I hear Gabriel’s voice, I jump and look up. Gabriel is standing in front of me looking sexy as ever.

“Hey,” I greet with a smile and close the book.

“You must have been really engrossed; I’ve been saying your name over and over.” He says as I stand up.

“I’m sorry, and yes I was, it’s a good story so far.”

“Where do you want to go?” He asks me, and then pulls me in for a kiss.

“Somewhere where we can talk, you choose,” I smile up at him.

“I think I know just the place.” He says, lacing his fingers through mine and leading me out the door.

In the parking lot, I look for his car, but I don’t see it. I feel confused; I thought we were going somewhere. Then Gabriel leads me to a motorcycle. I don’t know anything about motorcycles, but this one had a bright shiny chrome frame, motor and rims and glossy black accents. I stood there with my mouth hanging open. I’ve never been on a motorcycle before and my stomach feels like it’s in my throat. Surely, he doesn’t expect me to climb on and ride with him. This has to be a joke. I try to imagine myself riding on the back of the bike, and I keep imagining the fact that there was nothing between the pavement and my skin. There’s just my jeans and shirt and I’m quite sure they will not win the battle if I were to fall off and slide down the road. If he takes a turn too fast, or if a car pulls out in front of us, or if he brakes the wrong way, it would possibly mean my death. I’m not a risk taker. I don’t think I can survive a motorcycle ride. I’m not ready to die. Gabriel must have seen the terrified look on my face that I’m not trying to hide at all because he crosses the space between us and stands next to me.

“What wrong?” he asks.

“I-I didn’t know you ride a motorcycle.” I stammer.

“Have you ever been on one before?” He asks

“No,” I murmur and look into his beautiful green eyes.

He smiles at me. “Then you should at least try it once.”

“What?” I reply in shock. I’m not getting on that motorcycle.

“Oh, C’mon don’t act so surprised, I have a helmet for you and you’ll be perfectly safe.” He says and pulls me towards his machine of death. It is oddly pretty, if you can call a death machine that.

“Gabriel, I don’t want to ride it.” I say and swallow hard. My hands are shaking.

“Crystal, you need to let go of your fear and give it a try. I promise I won’t go fast and I think you’ll actually like it.” He sooths and gives me a hug. I feel my resolve weaken when he wraps me in a hug, then he pulls my face towards his and kisses me. The last shred of determination I have melts away. I realize that with him I might be safe, besides if he’s going to give me this kind of treatment it may be worth it to ride with him. “Okay,” I whisper. Gabriel smiles at me and places the helmet on my head and adjusts the strap. I watch him put on his own helmet and I want to kick myself. Why did I agree to do this? What is wrong with me? I make terrible choices when I’m with him. He straddles the bike and pats the ever so small space behind him. How am I supposed to ride back there behind him and not fall off? I want to turn around and run away, but I already told him I would ride. I can’t back out now. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and climb on the seat and wrap my arms around Gabriel. If I fall he’s coming with me, it would be both poetic and beautiful, in a morbid way, if we died together.

Gabriel turns the key and the bike roars to life. The whole bike vibrates underneath me and Gabriel revs the engine. The noise is loud and I can’t imagine how this could possibly be safe. I was about to tell him no again, but before I could I feel the bike move and I screamed as he putted the bike out of the parking lot. I tighten my hold around him and bury my face into his back. I can’t watch. I mustn’t watch. If I do I might faint and fall off the bike. I feel the bike lean and I let out another squeal, I imagine the bike falling over with both of us and I wait for the asphalt to tear my clothes and skin down to my bones as we skid on the rough pavement. I feel Gabriel’s body shake and open an eye, we’re not crashing and we’re riding down the road. I relax my grip on Gabriel. “I told you, you would be fine.” He yells.

“Yeah, nice and safe until we crash, then what will keep me from dying?” I yell back.

“A little road rash never hurt anyone.” He yells back.

“You need to write that down so they can say that at your funeral.” I yell back and I feel the bike speed up.

“If I die, it won’t be in a motorcycle crash; it will be from something way more intense, like face jumping or sky diving.”

“Please tell me you don’t.”

“Oh, yes, I do.”

“But what if you die?” I ask, trying to imagine myself jumping out of a plane and not knowing if my parachute is going to work or not. My stomach does flip flops and I try to think about something else. Kitties, nice soft fluffy kitties; they’re safe. I can’t die holding a cat.

“Well, what if I die? We’re all going to die sometime anyway, and at least I can say I’ve lived.”

I don’t respond. Instead, I let his words roll around in my head and I think about what he’s just said and the depth of it. This is what he considers living? Taking risks? I thought the point of living was to not die and be successful. I’m so careful and focused, have I ever taken time out to have fun? To really enjoy the moment I’m in? In an instant, I realize that I’ve just been surviving life. Here I am on a motorcycle and I’m worried about what will happen when I’m missing the ride along the way. If I were to die right now, what would I remember about my trip to death? I haven’t even looked around, I have possible memories passing by and I’m not taking notice.

I lift my head, sit up a little taller, and look around. We’re on a road that’s lined with trees. There isn’t a car in sight and the two lane road sprawls out in front of us. The sun shines brightly in the clear blue sky above. Yellow, orange and red leaves sprinkle the road. To my left, a clearing opens up and I can see a lake below. I can see the sky and trees reflected on its surface. I don’t know where we are, but this road is beautiful and if we were in a car I’m not sure if I would have noticed. On the bike I can smell the crisp air, feel the sun, and see every detail that isn’t hidden by the frame of a window. I see now what Gabriel means by living. This experience is living and now I’m wondering what else I’ve been missing out on.

Enjoying the scenery I begin to develop a new appreciation for the motorcycle. There’s something about it that’s freeing. My stress rolls away and I truly enjoy the ride. Now I’m glad Gabriel made me ride with him. He was right, I do enjoy it and in its own little way it is safe. The bike slows to a stop in a gravel parking lot just off the road. We’re at the lake that I saw earlier in the clearing. I get off the bike, pull at the strap under my chin, and remove the helmet.  Gabriel stares at me. “This look is good on you.” He says, and then takes his own helmet off.

“What look?”

“You look relaxed; I don’t think you’ve ever looked this relaxed since I met you.”

“Well, you were right; I did enjoy riding with you.” I smile at him.

“Next I’ll have to take you sky diving.” He chuckles and pulls me back against him. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek.

“Don’t push it,” I say and lean my body against his.

“So what is it you want to talk about?” He asks and lets go of me, takes my hand and starts walking towards the edge of the lake.

I take a deep breath, and slowly let it out. “I want to talk to you about Ryan.”

“Oh,” he says and his face darkens.

“You see, it’s complicated. I’m not sure if I can explain.” I start, and then grimace. I need to find the right words. How do I tell Gabriel I’m in a relationship with someone else? Will he understand? What if he leaves without me? “What I’m trying to say is, Ryan told me he was going to leave if I didn’t choose him.”

“So you told him that you want to be with him,” Gabriel finished for me.

“Yes, but I still don’t know how I feel about him.” I sigh and hang my head.

“Hey, don’t feel bad, he put you in an unfair position, I understand.”

I look up at him shocked, “You’re not mad at me?”

“How could I be mad at you? I told you I wasn’t going to go anywhere and I mean that. I care about you Crystal and I understand why you said what you said to Ryan. He really didn’t give you any other choice. He was asking you to either give up your best friend or keep him by giving him what he wants. However selfish and unfair I find his gesture it doesn’t matter; you did what you felt you had to do.”

“Well, there’s more.” I say. Gabriel looks sad but waits for me to continue. “He wants me at his beck and call. He wants to do everything for me and he doesn’t want me to see or talk about anyone else.”

“He wants to control you,” Gabriel surmises.

“I’m not sure if I would call it control.” I shrug.

“Crystal, its control and I don’t like it. You’re already so careful and sure of what you want, I don’t think it’s right for him to step in like this.”

“Gabriel, I still want to be with you.” I blurt.

“What about Ryan?”

“I want to be with him, too.”

“So you’re asking me to help you cheat.”

“I don’t see it as cheating; I see it as taking my time to decide for sure what I want.” Gabriel seems to ponder my words, and then he says, “So, we’ll have to be careful and not get caught.”

“You mean you’re willing to go through with this?”

“I told you I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be dammed if I’ve going to let a controlling asshole take you away from me.” Right at that moment my phone goes off, it’s a picture of Ryan’s cock. I bring my palm up to my face. “What?” Gabriel asks.

“Ryan just sent me a picture.” I answer and text Ryan back.

“What is it a picture of?” He asks.

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yes, I really want to know.”

I touch the screen and bring the picture up and show it to Gabriel. “Ah.” He says. “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to see a penis, I could have shown you mine, right here.” He says.

“I didn’t ask,” I reply and watch Gabriel drop his pants and revel his cock. My phone goes off again.

“What does Ryan want?” Gabriel asks.

“He wants me to send him a picture of my boobs.”

He holds his hand out, “Okay, fine, give me your phone.”

“Hold on!” I hold up a hand while I send another text. “Why do you want my phone?”

“We’re going to send Ryan a picture of your boobs, and then you’re going to send that picture to me too.” Gabriel winks.

“Are you serious?” I ask

“Dead serious.” He answers.

“Okay,” I relent and hand him my phone. He looks comical standing there with his pants and boxers around his ankles and his penis erect sticking out like a weird appendage. Gabriel takes a picture of me and I blink at the flash. “Take your shirt off.” He says and I pull it over my head. He takes another picture then waddles towards me. He kisses me and unhooks my bra. I let the straps fall down my shoulders and my bra drops to the ground. Gabriel stands back. “Put your hands behind your head,” He directs and I do as he asks. “Now smile,” he says. I smile and Gabriel takes a picture.

“That one you’re going to send to me.” He says giving me a devilish grin. “And now, one for Ryan.” He says and takes another picture. “Here,” he says handing me my phone. I barely look at the picture and send it to Ryan.  I look up and Gabriel is looking back at me, his gaze is intense and I feel what he wants. We both want each other right here, right now. Gabriel’s lips close around mine. My passion and desire build and I can’t wait to feel him inside me and have him take me.

Gabriel moves down and sucks each breast and then trails kisses back up to my mouth. My hand finds its way to his cock and I stoke him gently, giving him a taste of what’s to come. He reaches down and unbuttons my pants. He pulls them down along with my underwear. He cups my pussy and kisses me. I’m taken out of the moment by my pants wrapped around my ankles, held on by my shoes. I need to remember to wear sandals, flip flops, or a slide on shoe; anything other than a shoe with laces. I try to get my shoes off and lose my balance and fall forward. My ass is pointed up and exposed. Gabriel laughs and grabs me from behind, and slides his fingers inside of me. I moan and try to stand back up. “I like you like this.” Gabriel says. I stay there, mostly naked, butt in the air and wonder if anyone can see us. I hope they can’t then Gabriel enters me. My pussy stretches and feels full from his big cock. He thrusts in and back out again. I sigh with pleasure, my boobs swinging towards my face. He keeps thrusting into me and I’m afraid I’m going to fall. He gives a powerful thrust and my arms give out and I fall forward onto the ground with a scream. “Are you okay?” Gabriel asks. “I’m fine.” I answer and sit on the grass, my face is red with embarrassment. Gabriel sits next to me and helps me pull off my shoes and pants and then he takes off his shirt. Once we’re both naked, apart from Gabriel’s pants and boxers that are still around his ankles; he turns to me and kisses me. I kiss him back and soon I’m lost, forgetting my embarrassment. Gabriel moves on top of me and trails kisses all over my body. Desire pools into my stomach. I want him inside of me. “Gabriel, please,” I moan.