Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Family, Real Love (16 page)

1.
Did your mother compete with you in the fashion realm?

2.
If so, how did it make you feel?

3.
Do you steal your twelve-year-old’s clothes? (What, you can’t afford new ones for yourself?)

4.
Are you sensitive to your daughter’s view of your wardrobe?

5.
What clothes are inappropriate for you to wear at your age? Do you wear them anyway? Why?

I don’t do any formal exercise. I should. Lisa tells me every day to start a yoga class. But I’m afraid at my age to start—I could end up hurting myself and be worse off than I am now. I just try to stay active. I get up very early to do my errands. I usually take an afternoon nap and go out to dinner or to play cards with Sol. ■

If only talking burned more calories—I would be so thin! For me, the best part about any exercise class is at the end when you are lying on the floor. know exercise is good for me. I have much more energy on the days I do exercise, and it gives me the best chance of preventing Alzheimer’s disease.
(Kaynahorah
knock wood.) But if I don’t make it to the gym for the eight thirty a.m. class, the day is gone because my schedule is so packed. I love New York City because I get my exercise just by walking around. Dancing, walking and talking with my friends are my favorite forms of exercise. Plus lying on the floor. ■

Exercise? I remember playing tennis as a child. Daddy told me to stop playing as soon as I started to sweat. I think even now I subconsciously stop working out when I start to sweat. Thanks, Daddy!

I did Pilates regularly for two years and recommend it highly. It improved my posture and flattened my stomach with minimal sweating.

I started to work out again before the third season of
The Real Housewives.
All the ladies have stepped it up, and I decided to do the same. The only way I get through exercise on the machines is by watching TV at the same time. I also have a music playlist specifically for the gym—all my favorites from the disco era. I strongly suggest bringing an iPod to the gym loaded with movies and music. If you can watch an entire episode of any hour-long show, you just had a great cardio workout! ■

1.
How often do you exercise? (Using the remote control doesn’t count.)

2.
Is exercise a priority for you? Why not?

3.
Do you consider bending an exercise?

4.
Can you figure out something you actually enjoy doing that would require you to move your body more, like walking with a friend, taking dance lessons, or moving your refrigerator farther away from your bedroom?

1. Ask everyone you know who had that particular disease : Who treated them? How happy were they? Where did the doctor go to school? Was he or she a mensch? How quickly can you get an appointment?

2. Do research on the Internet. But take your findings in stride. Every person’s case is unique, and until your doctor tells you your particular set of facts, do not go into panic mode. We’ve been in panic mode, and it usually isn’t necessary.

3. Call the doctors you know and ask them for the best doctor they personally know.

4. Call your nearest high-prestige hospital and ask for the chairman of the department of the particular specialty you are seeking. Insist on seeing that doctor personally and as soon as possible.

5. When we need a surgeon, we look for someone with good hands. We assume he has a good head and we don’t especially care if he has a good heart. Ask about the hands. Don’t forget. The other doctors and the nurses will know exactly what you mean. If you get a weird, funny smile when you ask about the hands, you haven’t found the best doctor yet. Keep searching.

Years ago, my good friend Lucia recommended a very fine gynecologist on Park Avenue. He was still practicing in his eighties; I like to say that he forgot more than the average doctor will ever know. One day Lucia’s daughter, a young woman in her twenties, was distraught because a famous hospital had told her they needed to remove her uterus to prevent her from getting cancer. I asked Lucia if she had taken her daughter to our Park Avenue doctor and she said no, she had not thought of it. Dumb, very dumb. Our doctor promptly reviewed the slides himself, then sent them to California for analysis. Guess what? Lucia never did have cancer and she still has her uterus, as well as two healthy children. The lesson is simple: Find the best doctors, and when you’ve found them, remember to go to them!! ■

For Mom and Dad’s twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, we threw a surprise party at our home in Woodmere. Every invitation came as a large page of a book, which had to be completed and brought to the party. I drew my page as a medical diploma, officially crowning my mother as a DWD, a Doctor Without a Diploma. Long may she reign. I, too, have earned a DWD.

I love what my rabbi, Israel Stein, says: “When you are sick, pray to God—and go to a doctor.” I often devote my radio shows to exploring medical innovations. I admit I have an ulterior motive—not only do I educate my audience, but I also stay informed. You never know when the knowledge will be useful. When my father had lung cancer last year, I contacted one of the finest pulmonary cancer surgeons in the world. However, before moving forward with this particular surgeon, I corroborated his credentials by speaking with a surgeon at my alma mater, Johns Hopkins. I also did research on the Internet and asked every doctor knew whom they would recommend. When we found the right surgeon, I asked the surgeon’s staff about his hands. After that, I was satisfied. We were very, very lucky, thank God,
kaynahorah.
Dad needed no follow-up treatment of any kind and is, thank God, all better. ■

Bobby was diagnosed with prostate cancer about eight years ago. How? He had a PSA test that was a little elevated and the doctor wanted us to wait six months to re-test. I said no. I wanted a biopsy. He had less than a 15 percent chance of cancer, but guess what? He had it. Bobby’s first reaction was to keep it a secret. That lasted about three hours. Then I decided to tell everyone so we could find the best doctor. My father’s partner had been recently diagnosed, and worked with his two sons, who were both doctors (of course). We sent their father and Bobby to the best surgeon in New York. Bobby recovered beautifully and, thank God, that cancer has not reappeared. The moral of the story is to ask everyone for help and the answer will present itself. ■