Secrets - [Guardian Trilogy 01] (16 page)

“Why are you following me?”

“I can’t tell you that yet. It isn’t time.”

“Look, I need more than cryptic answers from you. You've been following me, you broke into my apartment, you know things that you shouldn’t know, and you appear at the most random times. I need to know why. Why have I been singled out?”

“You've been chosen. I can’t tell you for what yet, but I promise I will as soon as I can.”

“Who chose me? Why are you here?”

He smiled gently. “God chose you from the moment you were born. You come from a very great bloodline and are destined for much. I'm here to help, to guide. It's a good thing, Olivia.”

“Help to guide me to what?” I chose to ignore the God comment for now. I wasn’t sure what to make of that brand of crazy.

“To guide you on this current path. We all have to walk this road at one time or another, so it's tradition that one of us acts as a guide to ease the transition. It’s a very confusing time, I know. I volunteered to help you.”

“Who’s ‘we’?”

“I can’t say anymore. We have very strict rules that must be obeyed. I shouldn't even be speaking with you at this point, but you saw me.”

“Just so we're clear: I'm not going to join any sort of group. I'll won’t distribute flyers or hand out Bibles at airports. I'll not be partaking in any of your Kool-Aid. You have the wrong girl. And besides, if you can’t answer my questions, how do you expect to help me? All of this is incredibly insane, like cover yourself in honey and feathers while singing
Kum Ba Yah
insane.”

Quintus chuckled. “Yes, that's why it is called faith.”

Great. I was sitting in a cemetery with a crazy religious cult leader.
Freaking fantastic
. But he seemed so calm and serene, it was contagious.

It was hard to react as my brain told me I should, when I was sitting next to this man who exuded a quiet peace I'd never felt in my own life. My head said I should be calling the nearest mental hospitals to see if they had any recent escapees, but my gut thought I should give him a chance.

“Faith, huh? Faith is difficult to come by when you have no idea what's happening. I'll give what you said some thought, no promises though—and definitely no cults.”

He smiled again. “I’m going to like you, I think. You have gumption.”

“Yeah. We’ll see about that. Is there a way I can reach you? Like a cell phone number or pager?

He looked blank.

“Uh, how about Facebook, Twitter …”

Still no sign of comprehension.

“P.O Box?”

“No.”

“So there’s absolutely no way I can get in contact with you?”
How is that even possible in this day and age?

“If you want to see me, go into a church and ask.”

“Ask whom?”

“God.” Quintus said matter-of-factly.

“Right, why didn’t I think of that?”
Beyond insane.

“You did, that's why I'm here.”

 I sighed. He was almost as inscrutable as Holden.

“It’s time for me to go. Would you like me to walk you back to your car?”

“No, I’m fine. I want to mull a few things over. See you later, Quinn.”

 “I'll look forward to it—‘til then, Olivia.”

I waited until he was out of sight, then I left the peaceful haven. I got to my car just as clouds rolled in, blanketing the sky in melancholy, my bright pretty day gone. Leaning against my car was the other person I wanted to speak with today. How creepily convenient. Casual elegance and power exuded from every pore of his being. The air around him almost crackled with it. A smile tugged the corners of my mouth. I was happy to see him, so sue me. “Think of the devil. I wanted to see you, but I wasn’t sure how to find you. I was just about to start looking.”

He arched an eyebrow over his sunglasses. “You didn’t know how to find me?” A hint of disbelief touched his voice. “I'd think it was obvious.”

“It isn’t like I can depend on
that
. Besides, I wanted to find you in real life where I can trap you long enough to get some answers.”

Holden smiled like he was daring me to try to trap him. I smiled back thinking how much I could enjoy trying, and he shook his head. “So you looked in a church?”

I moved close enough to him to take his hand, the one that was injured in my dream. He went very still but didn’t try to resist me or run away—progress. I inspected his palm for the wounds, but it was unharmed.

“No marks.” His voice was so soft, I had to lean in to hear.

“You know about that?”

“Of course, I was there.”

“Impossible,” I said more to myself than to him. When I looked down, I realized I still gripping his hand. I let go and mumbled an apology. The hand I’d abandoned reached up and came to rest on the back of my neck. I could feel Holden’s eyes boring into mine even through the dark glasses. The combination of his cool hand and intense presence sent chills down my spine. I wanted to pull away and move closer to him at the same time. We both sat in limbo as if waiting to see what the other would do. I reached up and took off his sunglasses. His eyes met mine with smoldering heat and something else flickering just beneath the surface, something incongruous. His finger rubbed a small circle pattern on the back of my neck, making my head loll back. My chin tilted upwards, and my eyes fluttered shut. All thoughts about what Holden was hiding were buried in desire.

He shifted, moving in closer to me then stopped abruptly. I forced my eyes open to look at him. He seemed to be struggling with something again. His face was so close now, I could see the cracks in his stony facade. I could see the corners of his eyes narrowing and his mouth turning down into a frown. Finally, he sighed, rested his forehead against mine for a moment, then broke contact altogether. 

“You were upset last night. Are you better now?” Holden remained an enigma wrapped in a quandary and drizzled with mystery sauce.

“Yes, actually I am. I'm not sure if I should attribute that to our conversation or a good night’s sleep.” The sun was peeked back out from behind a cloud, warming the back of my neck.

Holden’s jaw flexed and he frowned again briefly. He took his sunglasses from my hand, careful not to touch me. “Let’s go—I don’t want to loiter in a church parking lot.”

“Afraid someone might see you?”

“No one would look for me here—except for you.”

“Right.” I unlocked my car doors and to my surprise he got into the passenger side. “What about your car?”

“I didn’t bring one.”

“Oh. How'd you know where I'd be?”

“I didn’t.”

Hmmm, curious. Another weird dream-like moment and I was wide awake. We drove in silence most of the way back to my apartment. I glanced over at Holden a couple times and found him playing with my cell phone. I realized I didn’t even know where he wanted to go, which briefly distracted me from the annoyance I felt at him snooping through my phone.

“Where do you want to go?”

 “Your apartment is fine—actually, no. Let’s go to mine. It is safer that way.”

“Safer? What does that mean?”

He ignored the question, giving me his address instead. He sat my phone back in the cup holder.

“Find anything interesting?”

He only smiled in return.

Holden’s apartment building was in Soulard and looked like it used to be an old warehouse of some sort. It was no doubt a newly completed historical preservation project that was probably terribly overpriced, but incredibly trendy. I admit I was disappointed. I hated pretension. His actual apartment was minimalist, however, and had a sterile, unlived in feel to it.

“Have a seat.” Holden gave a haphazard gesture in the general vicinity of the living room. “Can I get you something?”

“Sure, what do you have?” I suddenly felt incredibly awkward being there—after all, really didn’t know him.

“Um,” he shifted uncomfortably. “Actually, I think I only have water.”

“Water would be great.” I looked around his apartment. It was a large, mostly empty loft. I noticed that he’d purchased a couple of my photos from the show, but they weren’t hung yet. I joined him in the kitchen where he seemed to be lingering.

“Would you believe I don’t even have glasses?” he asked with a sheepish shrug and a twinkle in his otherwise blank green eyes.

“Actually, yes, I do believe that.” I smiled to keep from laughing. “It’s okay. I'm perfectly fine. I don’t need a drink. If I get too thirsty, I'll hold my head under the faucet.” A nervous giggle escaped from my mouth.

Holden’s smile broadened. “I wasn’t expecting company.”

“Oh, sure, I get that. I always buy new glasses for company, but I've learned a little trick.” I went around the counter to stand next to him. “You see, this is what's called a sink. They come pretty much standard in all houses and apartments. Sinks produce water. Stores sell this thing called soap. When mixed with water, cleansing bubbles form that will wash various objects, such as glasses. It is far cheaper and more convenient than buying new glasses every time the other ones are used.”

“Cleansing bubbles?”

“The technical term.”

“Mmm, thanks for the tip.”

“It was free this time, but if you want to know about plastic cups, that's gonna cost ya.”

Standing there, joking around, my initial unease disappeared. I felt like I had known him forever. “So, you wanted to see me?” he asked.

“I have questions I hope you can answer. It’s also probably time I get to know you a little better.” Holden didn't seem excited at this prospect, but he didn't refuse either. “Well, where to start? Um, why are you following me? That's probably the most natural starting point.”

He visibly relaxed. “We covered this before. You came into my mind first. Sparked my curiosity.”

“So just plain curiosity? Nothing more?”

“If you can file sharing dreams with a complete stranger under 'plain curiosity' then yes, I guess that's reason. I, personally, have never shared anything like this with someone before so it seems like a lot to me. Rather unique.”

“I suppose so.” I knew he was right. All of this was definitely out of the realm of what I’d previously considered possible—but I felt there should be more. I expected deeper answers. “But
how
did you find me?”

A line formed between his eyebrows and I had the urge to reach up and trace it, but I resisted. He started pacing around the loft. “Luck. I had no idea who you were. I saw you outside Code and then again in the dream. I was downtown and happened to walk past the gallery where I saw your picture in the window. I decided I wanted to see you again, in person.”

“Fair enough. How did you find me today?”

“Deductive reasoning.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“You weren’t at your apartment, your studio, or your mother’s, so I figured maybe you’d gone to the church.”

“And why were you looking for me today?”

At this Holden bit his lip in a very human gesture. I was so used to seeing him stony and unfeeling that this little sign of confusion or indecision made my heart race. “I decided to be honest with you when we were at your car. I want to answer your questions, but in order to do so honestly there may be some I'll not be able to answer at all. This is all very new to me, but I'm trying.”

“This being one of them?”

He nodded.

“Why? Why do you have to skip questions to be honest with me?”

“I'm not much for groups or rules, but there are some groups that cannot be escaped and some rules that must be obeyed. I'll tell you what I can tell you safely, but there will be holes and that can’t be helped. That's just the way it is.”

“How very mysterious of you.” I joined him in the living room area. “Where are you from?”