Second Down (Moving the Chains Book 2) (33 page)

“Ok, I’ll tell you what? If you just open your eyes for me, I promise I’ll make love to you right here. Then, it won’t be a bad place, anymore. We’ll make a new, good memory, here, alright?”

My face warms as he places open mouthed kisses all over. My forehead, nose, cheeks, eyelids, along my jaw. His hot, damp breath fans over my neck, but it only makes the rest of me feel even colder. Violent shivers jerk my painfully icy limbs as realization washes over my frozen brain. This is no dream or hallucination.

Rob’s mouth covers mine, soft lips and firm tongue seeking entrance. “Kiss me back, baby. Come on. Let’s make this place good, again.”

As his words sink in, I struggle to open my eyes. It takes me several tries to grit the words out through my chattering teeth. “We’re here? I found it?”

“You didn’t know.” He says it not as a question, but a statement. His tear filled eyes roam over my face. “If you didn’t know where you were, then why did you stop here?”

“I fell.”

Rob laughs. He laughs so hard that he throws his head back and his shoulders shake.

I look around me in bewilderment. How long had I lain here, taking in the beauty of my surroundings without realizing I’d found the very place I sought? I still don’t remember any of it. The desire to lash out at everything around me is overwhelming, but I can’t. I’m too weak. Too cold. Too tired. “I can’t fight anymore, Rob.”

His laughter dies out when he hears my sob. “Yes, you can, Evie. If there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you’re a fighter.”

Rob takes my freezing hands and places them under his shirt, muttering “Christ” when our skin makes contact. Fire and ice. He digs into the pocket of his coat with his free hand. “I got you something else for Christmas. I wanted you to open it, obviously, but considering the circumstances...”

He makes quick work of the wrapping paper, stuffing it back in his pocket before flipping open the little velvet jewelry box. It’s another charm. Of a boxing glove.

“Um, thanks? I don’t box, though, Superjock.” The snark of my words is drowned out by my chattering. I can’t seem to control my jaw, anymore.

He attaches the little charm to my bracelet. “I know that. But, you
are
a fighter. You’re the strongest person I know, Evie.”

That’s right. I may have fled the house in only my pajamas and a pair of boots, but I have the bracelet he gave me for Christmas on. The jury’s still out on whether that makes me slightly obsessive. I definitely don’t feel like a fighter, just now. I feel exhausted, and cold.

Unable to control my shivering, I huddle further into his warmth. The pain of thawing has been replaced by the primal need to warm my frozen body. “I’m not strong enough, Rob. I can’t do this, anymore.”

Rob lifts me in his arms as he stands. “That’s ok, Evie. Sometimes being strong means admitting you need help. You didn’t give up on me, and I’m not about to give up on you. Let me fight for us for awhile.”

“Why do you even want to fight, Rob? You heard Lexi. I’m not worth fighting for, especially not now.” Thea Cara’s words from this morning weigh heavily on my heart.

“You’re worth it to me, Evie. I should have fought harder for you from the beginning. I might be just a dumb jock, but I learn from my mistakes. And I don’t repeat them. Remember when I told you I wouldn’t give you up for anything?”

He waits until I nod my assent. “Well, I meant it then, and I mean it, now.”

A fresh wave of tears makes hot tracks down my cheeks as I continue to shudder even in Rob’s arms. The cold has seeped its way into my very soul. “It’s not that simple. How can you mean that?”

He’s making his way up the trail, puffs of white forming with every exhale as he bears my weight. “Because I love you. And it is as simple as that.”

“It’s not though,” I sob. “Nothing about us is simple. It never has been. And now, it’s only worse. It’s not fair to you to be with me, Rob. I’m too messed up, and I’m taking you down with me. I don’t want that for you.”

He kisses my forehead as we continue to climb up the trail. “Remember how mad at me you were for not telling you about us? You said that I took that choice away from you. Well, don’t be like me. Heck, it’s not even really my choice to love you, Evie. I honest to God can’t help myself. But, we’re a team, right? This is what you do on a team. You take care of each other.”

His words are meant to soothe, but I can’t stop crying now that the dam has broken. “It’s not fair. It’s just not fair.”

“I know it’s not, baby. Life isn’t fair, though.” He heaves a deep sigh. “Real life is not a game. I get that, and I know you do, too. God knows our lives have sucked, lately, but it’ll get better. It won’t always be like this. We’ve just gotta keep pushing through to the other side, that’s all.”

“You’re not listening to me. I can’t. I can’t keep pushing. I’m exhausted, and I’m just not strong enough to do it, anymore.”

We emerge from the trail onto the school grounds. As far as the eye can see, everything is blanketed in a fresh layer of white.

Rob pulls me tighter against him as he stumbles through the snow drifts. “That’s why I’m gonna be strong for both of us, now. My love for you is stronger than anything life can throw at us, and I’ll hold you up for as long as you need me to. I think it’s just that you’ve been bottling this up for so long. You’ve gotta let it out before it destroys you. Believe me, I know. I’m not saying you need to go to therapy, too, but you’ve gotta let someone in. It doesn’t even have to be me. I know how strong you are, baby, but there comes a point where everyone breaks.”

“I’m already broken.” The sobs pour out of me along with everything else that’s been weighing me down. It’s almost as if Rob’s words felled the last shreds of dignity that had held me together for the past several months, forcing all the pent up anger, hurt, and frustration out. No holds barred. He wanted me to let go, so I do. Pitifully so.

I let it all go until I cry myself to sleep in the blazing heat of his car.

A stifled giggle pulls me from deep sleep. And another. Nice and warm in my comfy cocoon, ignoring the noise is all too easy as I snuggle my head further into my...hard pillow?

“Ssh, girls. Princess Evie needs to sleep.”

Rob. I’m not wrapped up in pillows and blankets. I’m wrapped up in Rob.

“Maybe she needs true love’s kiss to wake her up,” Staci whispers.

“Ssh,” Rob returns. “She doesn’t need to wake up. She needs to rest.”

Curled into a ball on my side, my head is resting against his chest. The steady thump of his heartbeat against my ear is a direct contrast to the barely controlled laughter that emanates from the girls beside us. Rob’s arms are wrapped around me securely. If the hard length I feel under my hip is any indication, he must’ve just woken up, too. That wouldn’t be an issue, otherwise. I feel embarrassed for him, in light of our young company. The mattress dips and shifts with the movements of little limbs. We must be in my bed and the girls have arrived to investigate the unusual circumstances. Just another odd parental lapse in judgment, I suppose. Although I’m surprised my usually conservative family would go for exposing the girls to this little scene.

“Did the monster come back?” Staci asks timidly.

Keeping my eyes shut and feigning sleep becomes difficult as a ball of guilt forms in my chest. I ruined their Christmas with my selfish nervous breakdown.

“Yeah,” Rob answers quietly. “But, it’s ok now.”

A tiny hand pets my cheek. Maria. I fight the urge to smile and cry.

“You saved hew,” she lisps in her toddler accent. She hasn’t quite mastered r sounds.

Rob’s big hand smoothes over the back of my head. “She saved me, too.”

“That’s not wight,” Maria pouts. I can just imagine her folding her arms over her chest defiantly. “The pwince saves the pwincess.”

“Not always. Remember when you said Evie is an angel?”

No response, so they must be nodding their heads and listening. A rare event.

“Well, since Evie is both a princess and an angel, sometimes she saves me, too. We take turns saving each other.”

“Papouli says we all have a guardian angel,” Staci whispers, sagely. “Is Evie your guardian angel, Rob?”

“Yeah,” he whispers. “I think so.”

From the door, I hear Mama call softly. “Girls, come downstairs and get some cookies. Let Evie and Rob rest.”

Soft protests are accompanied by movement as they climb off the bed.

“When Evie wakes up, we can watch a Christmas movie, ok?” Rob calls after them quietly.

The soft click of my bedroom door closing lets me know that we’re alone. A sniffle escapes me, unbidden.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Long enough. How long have I been asleep?” I know I should climb off him. He can’t possibly be comfortable with my body crushing his poor dick, but I can’t let go of the safety he provides, yet, either.

“Uh...four hours, maybe? I fell asleep, too, so I’m not really sure.” He shifts beneath me, but when I move to give him space, he tightens his hold. “I’m sorry, Evie. It...doesn’t mean anything. Just gimme a few minutes.”

His words break my heart just a little more, as usual. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not hurting me. I don’t wanna let you go yet, either, though. You scared the shit out of me this morning.” He presses a soft kiss to the top of my head.

“I ruined everyone’s Christmas.”

Rob squeezes me, attempting silent comfort that doesn’t staunch the new flow of tears. “No, you didn’t. When I walked in the house with you, there was wrapping paper everywhere and the girls were playing with their toys and eating cookies like nothing was wrong.”

“I guess I slept through that part.”

He laughs a little. “Yeah, you did. You were out cold.”

It’s my turn to laugh as he winces.

“Sorry. That was a poor choice of words,” he offers.

“So, what happened?”

“Uh...well, everyone kind of freaked out a little bit. Especially since you were sleeping so hard. I tried to convince Mom that you didn’t need to go to the hospital for hypothermia treatment, but she wasn’t satisfied until she took your temperature. Papou distracted everyone else with brunch while I brought you up here, and then The Moms really began the inquisition. That was fun.” His voice drips with sarcasm.

Fully awake and aware of my surroundings, it’s obvious that we’re both wearing dry clothes. Different clothes.

This realization only brings on a fresh wave of panic. “How did I get changed? Who saw me?”

My attempts to sit up and freak out completely are squashed by Rob pulling me back to him. “We were both soaking wet from the snow, Evie. You needed to get warmed up and that meant being dry. Don’t worry, no one saw you. I kicked them all out. Honestly, I’ve been kind of a bastard today, so the longer we stay holed up here, the better. Dad’s probably gonna chew me a new asshole, later.”

My eyes pop out of my skull at the implication of his words. “Wait.
You
changed me?”

He sighs, banding his arms around me tighter. “Yeah. I did. Lucky for me, though, you’re always stealing my shirts, so at least I had something dry to put on, too.”

His attempt at diverting my attention falls flat as I struggle in his embrace, only managing to cross my arms over my chest. “Rob! I don’t want you seeing me, either! I’m...ugly, and...destroyed! I’m broken!”

“Ssh,” he soothes. Wiping my tears with his thumbs as he cups my face, his eyes look blue with sadness that matches my own. “If you really believe that, then I’ll be your glue. I’ll put you back together, again. But, Evie, I don’t think you’re broken. Or ugly. Or destroyed. I think you’re perfect.”

“How can you say that after what you’ve seen?”

“I didn’t look, honey. I closed my eyes while I changed your shirt. I wouldn’t betray your trust like that. I’ll wait until you let me.”

“Don’t you get it, Rob? I’m never going to let you, or anyone else, see me! Jackson marked me!” Openly sobbing and not bothering to lower my volume, I hide my face in my hands. Surely, The Moms will infiltrate the room soon. They’ll want to know why I’m screaming at Rob. Or Lexi will burst in and steal him.

He tugs one of my hands away, placing a kiss on it. In the spot where he burned me. “Yeah, but I marked you, first. So, you’re mine. Not his.”

“It doesn’t matter, Rob. It just doesn’t matter.”

He doesn’t attempt to dissuade my crying, again. Just lets me collapse against him and soak his shirt with my tears. No words are exchanged between us as my sobs echo around the otherwise silent room. I cry until there’s nothing left. Only exhaustion.

“It really doesn’t matter, though, does it?” I whisper against his damp chest. “It was easy for you not to look because you don’t want to see.”

He sighs, combing his fingers through my tangled mess of hair. He places a soft kiss on my forehead. “Evie, some nights I still see it in my nightmares. I’m sure it’s not as bad as that.”

“I’m sorry. I broke you, too.”

“I’m getting better and you will, too. I mean, hey, even a month ago, no way would I be laying here with you in only boxers and a t-shirt. And I didn’t even freak out when I woke up with a boner. That’s progress.” He laughs, the movement jostling my head.