Second Down (Moving the Chains Book 2) (32 page)

The Moms, hungover Dad, plus Evie’s horrible family? Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

Stepping through the back door to the Papageorgiou home an hour later is like entering the seventh circle of hell. There’s no cooking going on. Kids are wailing. The aunts and uncles are rushing around on their cell phones. Tini looks panicked. Diana is sitting at the kitchen table, her head in her hands, sobbing loudly over the racket.

My family stands in the mud room, staring at the scene unfolding before our eyes. Ma breaks formation first and rushes past me over to Diana. All I can do is blink at everyone. What the hell is going on?

Suddenly, Papou is in front of me, shaking me out of my stupor. “Have you talked to Efflekia?”

“Not since last night...why?” Something about the stricken look on his face, the sheer terror in his voice causes my heart to thump wildly in my chest.

“She’s missing.”

Something snaps in me. For a brief second, time stands still. I don’t breathe. I don’t move. My heart stops beating.

Just as quickly, the world begins moving again. My knees buckle, so I reach out to hold onto the doorframe. I feel Dad place a supportive hand on my back.

“What do you mean, she’s missing?” He asks from behind me.

YiaYia pipes up from her spot at the kitchen table. “She walked into the kitchen this morning, heard us all talking about her, screamed at us, then walked out. We have not heard from her since. That was two hours ago.”

I saw this coming. Could feel it in my bones. I damn well knew it was only a matter of time until she snapped. And I did nothing to stop it.

“We were discussing what happened last night.” Papou runs a hand through his thin, white hair. “I wanted Stephen and Cara to know what their daughter had done. I did not…” his voice cracks. “I did not expect Efflekia to be awake so early and overhear us talking about her injuries.”

At the island, Aunt Cara rolls her eyes. “There was no reason for her to overreact that way. We all know what happened to her. Of course we’re going to talk about it. Why wouldn’t we? We’re her family. It’s not like it’s some big secret.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you people?” I yell. I’ve walked into conversations before where people had been discussing me. I can’t tell you how uncomfortable it is to know that the size of your dick has been the topic of discussion. But, it’s never been about it being deformed or dysfunctional. I can only imagine the sickening horror that Evie felt this morning.

Ma is the first to recover from my outburst. “Robert! Watch your language, young man!”

“Are you fucking kidding me, right now?” I roar. “You’re supposed to be the adults, here! You’re supposed to be helping us through this. You’re supposed to know what to do, and what to say, and how to act! All any of you have been doing is pushing too far and too hard, and not paying any attention to what’s really going on.”

Diana starts crying harder. Tears are sliding down Mom’s face. Stephen has his hands on Cara’s shoulders like I might attack her at any minute. In all fairness, one more word out of her mouth and I might. Even normally calm Papou looks shocked. Everyone else in the room is silent and still.

Feeling guilty over lashing out, I take a deep breath and lower my voice. “Look, I get that you can’t possibly understand the trauma that we’ve been through. But Evie had someone violate her in the worst possible way. She might not remember it, but she has those scars to remind her every day. And when you all talk about it like it’s no big deal, you completely disrespect her all over again. She has every freaking right to get upset about that.”

No one makes a sound. Not a single person in the room offers up an apology, explanation, or rebuttal.

I don’t know if they’re in denial or shock, but I don’t have time to deal with them. Turning to my dad, I put out my hand. “Gimme the keys.”

“Son, I don’t think you’re in a position to drive, right now.”

“Give me the damn keys! I know where she is!”

“She doesn’t have her phone,” Aunt Eleni calls out. “She was still in her pajamas when she left, and she took her car, so she could be anywhere by now!”

“Maybe if any of you understood her even a little, you’d have figured it out by now. Hell, I’m just a dumb jock kid, but even I knew this was bound to happen.” With that, I walk out the door into the swirling snow. If Evie is where I think she is, she’s gonna freeze to death before I get to her.

Merry fucking Christmas.

Chapter 30

Eva

The only sound in the white woods is my heavy breathing and the occasional bird call. It’s difficult to see with the steam in front of my face. Even harder to make out the snow covered path, but I won’t stop. I can’t stop. I need something. Anything.

Surely, even in the dead of winter this place will spark recognition in my mind.

I haven’t been back since it happened. Haven’t wanted to come back. Until this morning. I really don’t even know why I’m here. It doesn’t matter. Whether I remember how I got these scars or not is irrelevant. They’ll still be here tomorrow. They’ll be with me forever.

Making me less. Making me broken. Making me defiled.

Picking up speed isn’t easy. I’m not wearing the right shoes. The snow is slippery under my footfalls. I haven’t run in so long that my body isn’t used to this type of exertion. My muscles protest every movement and a permanent side stitch has taken up residence in my stomach. My lungs burn from the lack of oxygen and the freezing temperature.

I push on.

How is it possible that I’ve run this entire trail and still don’t remember a damn thing about that day?

The only memory that comes back to me is what I heard when I walked into the kitchen this morning. My whole family. Talking about my destroyed body.

“How did she even know? We did not share that information with anyone.” Papou yells.

Papou never yells.

Thea Cara shrugs her shoulders. Her back is to me, but I know she’s rolling her eyes, as well. “Christina told Lexi, Lexi told me, and I told Stephen. Honestly, why are you all making such a big deal of this? We’re family. We should share these kinds of things with each other.”

Mama scoffs from her seat at the table. “Right. So you can use it to make your superstar daughter look better, and make my daughter out to be some disfigured monster? There’s a reason we don’t share things with you.”

“That’s not fair, Diana.” Theo Steve is standing between the island and table. A human barrier between the family he used to belong to, and the one he chose over us.

“Don’t you talk to me about fair, Stevie!” Mama shouts, the frustration evident on her face as she slaps the table with an open palm. “It wasn’t fair for my baby to be attacked so brutally!”

Thea Eleni walks over to Mama, hugging her from behind. “Have you consulted with a plastic surgeon, maybe? There might be some new technology that could help her. Lasers, or something, perhaps?”

Mama rests her head on the table, her shoulders shaking with silent tears.

“Maybe they could give you a package deal. Get her a boob job, too. She’s never going to hold onto that football player. I saw the way he was looking at my Lexi, last night. She’s more his speed.” Thea Cara laughs.

A scream tears out of my throat. Birds flap away from their perches in the snow covered branches above me, startled by my fury. It’s not enough, so I push my weak, broken body harder. Faster. If I can just run fast enough, maybe I can escape this living hell.

Maybe I’m just running further into it.

I’ve been so blinded by my single-minded focus to forget that I didn’t even consider they never will. It was so easy to assume that aside from Rob, everyone else would simply follow my lead. Like my scars, I stupidly believed that the memory of that day would fade with the passage of time.

What utter bullshit. They didn’t watch it happen. They don’t have the marks to prove that it did. How could they all just sit around and discuss it like they have any fucking clue?

Disfigured monster. Disfigured monster. Disfigured monster.

My own mother’s words echo in my brain with each pounding step I take. Harder. Faster. The more I abuse my own body, the less I can think.

At least abusing myself means I’m in control.

In a split second, I’m laying on my back. The wind knocked out of my lungs, all I can do is stare blankly at the thick canopy above me. The leafless trees, with their black silhouettes coated in a thick blanket of snow, block out the sky. It’s strangely beautiful. Black and white. So simple and easy. Why can’t life be like this beautiful forest?

Ironically enough, it wasn’t my own physical weakness that felled me. It was a damn patch of ice. Struggling to regain the ability to breathe doesn’t lessen my pain or anger. If anything, lying helplessly on the trail only fuels it further.

Life isn’t black and white. It’s shades of gray. Muted, varied, sullied and disgusting. Neither the pristine cleanliness of white nor the complete spectrum of color that is black. It’s exhausting living in this gray world. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this.

It’s almost cruel, the way Thea Eleni explained what happened to me to Staci and Maria. I know they’re too young to understand, but why tell them at all? Why paint it like a fairy tale? It’ll only lead to disappointment as they grow and interact with the miserable world around them. It’s hard to remember being their age. The naivete of childhood fades at a different age for everyone. But, inevitably, real life catches up to us all. Whether it’s realizing that Santa Claus doesn’t exist to understanding that your parents aren’t infallible, at some point, reality destroys the fragile illusions of youth.

For me, it happened at a more tender age than most. That doesn’t negate the violent intrusion of my attack. It only heightens my anger that I became so complacent as to not expect it.

The world we live in is so cruel, so unpredictable. The only unforgivable sin is not expecting the unexpected. And yet, I did. So caught up in my own illusion of perfection and a happily ever after, I blinded myself to reality and all it’s whims. I’ll never make that mistake, again.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been lying here, contemplating the misery of the world while staring at the treetops. The only inkling to the passage of time is the snow that finely coats my body. Blinking back into the present, swirls of the beautiful ice crystals blur my vision.

Kind of hard to bring myself back to reality when I can barely see or feel anything.

Funny how often I’ve wished for the complete lack of sensation enveloping me. I never imagined it could actually happen. A slight start of terror at finally getting my wish fades as quickly as it comes. Physically and mentally I’m numb. I feel neither pain and sorrow, nor happiness and pleasure. The serene silence of the forest and the snow squall overtake me, erasing my mind of every thought, every desire, every memory. There is only the here and now. Only me and the trees and the snow.

And Rob.

Even in my half awake, numbed state of existence, I can hear him calling to me. Maybe it’s my brain’s last ditch effort to hold on and not give up. Though I haven’t believed in fairy tales in many years, it’s almost poetic that the last thoughts running through my mind are of him. Perhaps in another life we were meant to be. Just not in this one.

My heavy eyelids close. I don’t want to lose the tranquil scenery around me, but I don’t fight it, either. I’m so tired of it all. I just need to rest. The echo of Rob’s voice booms through the woods as my brain continues to play tricks on me. His arms are one of the few places I’ve felt safe since the attack. Seems fitting to hear his voice as I drift to sleep, feeling more peaceful than I have in months.

“Evie! God, baby, no…” His voice reverberates through my bones. Even at peace, my weary psyche clings to what might have been. No matter that I want to let it all go.

I thought I was incapable of feeling, but the unmistakable sensation of being pulled away from my snowy bed and into his arms seems so very real.

“Evie, don’t do this to me. It almost destroyed me the last time. I won’t make it, again.”

It’s a cruel thing for the hallucination of his arms surrounding me to bring so much pain instead of security. My head swims with a rocking motion. The longer his imagined strength surrounds me, the more excruciating pinpricks of sensation explode all over my skin. So much for being comfortably numb.

The large hand smoothing over my face sears my frozen cheek with unwelcome heat. “Hey, you asked me for an extra Christmas present, and I know I didn’t do a great job of delivering, but now it’s my turn. All I want for Christmas is to see my favorite color, again. Open your eyes, Evie. Give me my favorite color back.”

Blazing warmth in the form of his lips caresses my eyelids, furthering the assault on my sleepy cocoon of nothingness. The strength to hold onto the quiet serenity I’ve found evaporates as shudders wrack my body. I’m so damn cold.

“Oh, yes,” he breathes. “That’s my girl. Come back to me, Evie. This is the part where you yell at me or make some kind of smartass remark about going to extreme lengths to have some alone time, today. Come on. Open your eyes and talk to me.”

I don’t want to open my eyes. I don’t want to talk, anymore. I definitely do not want any alone time with Rob. That only ends up poorly for one or both of us. Thea Cara is right. I can’t possibly hold onto him. The power of all the poorly erected fantasies I’ve been living these past months is crushing. Like a row of dominoes, once the first illusion fell, the rest have come tumbling down around me.