Seaview Inn (24 page)

He also saw with vivid clarity what the outcome might have been if he’d followed his first selfish instinct and stayed away from Atlanta and his kids forever. Luckily he’d known practically from the beginning that he couldn’t have lived with himself if he’d done that. Not only would it have affected Nate and Gracie as Clayton Dixon’s abandonment had affected Hannah, but he would have wound up spending the rest of his life filled with regret and loss.

Hannah was waiting on the porch when Luke arrived. The others were all inside resting before their planned celebration, except for Jeff, who’d gone out and bought a fancy crib, which he was now struggling to put together as a surprise for Kelsey. He was so thrilled about their decision to keep the baby, he told Hannah he simply couldn’t wait.

“I know it’s too soon, but as you can see furniture assembly isn’t my strong suit. This could take months,” he’d said with a self-deprecating grin.

Hannah had been forced to leave the room to keep from chuckling at his inept handling of a screwdriver and muttered curses as he tried to interpret the instructions. Thankfully Luke would be here soon to help him finish. Otherwise that crib would be almost certain to collapse the first time they put the baby in it.

Now, as she watched Luke emerge from the car, her heart did a little stutter-step, her annoyance forgotten.

“Welcome back,” she called. “How was your trip?”

“Interesting,” he said, his expression wary as he came
up the steps. He leaned down to kiss her, lingering over it until heat stirred inside her. “How are things here?”

“Interesting,” she said, mimicking him. “We’re going to The Fish Tale tonight for a celebration.”

“Oh? What’s the occasion?”

“My cancer results came back,” she said. “I’m still okay.”

Luke’s eyes brightened and Hannah thought she detected a hint of relief in his expression. “That is definitely worth celebrating. What time are we going?”

“Gran made a reservation for seven.”

“Perfect. That’ll give me time to run inside, shower and change.”

He would have walked right into the house then and there, leaving Hannah frustrated and curious, but she halted him with a command. “Sit, Luke. We need to talk.”

He looked vaguely guilty, which just proved he had things to hide. Still, he did sit down.

“Sure,” he said. “What’s up?”

“As if you didn’t know. Did you see my father or not?”

“I did,” he admitted without hesitation. “But I think we should talk about it later. There’s a lot to absorb and I think it’ll go down better on a full stomach.”

Hannah considered the suggestion. Though her impatience for answers argued against waiting one more minute, there really wasn’t much time before their dinner reservation. Maybe waiting would be best.

“Okay, but the minute we get home, we talk.”

“Absolutely. Now, let me go inside and get ready. I’ll be back down in a flash.”

Again, he was on his way to the door when she stopped him. “Luke, just tell me one thing. Is he okay?”

“Other than being shocked that I’d found him, yes, he’s fine.”

“Did he ever miss me, even a little bit?” she asked, unable to keep the wistful note out of her voice.

“Every day,” Luke said emphatically.

“Really?”

“That’s what he said, and I believed him.”

A single tear slid down her cheek. “Thanks for telling me that.”

It wasn’t much, but it was more than she’d dared to hope and certainly enough to carry her through a couple of hours until Luke could tell her the rest.

Luke kept a close eye on Hannah all through their celebratory dinner. For a woman who’d just been given a clean bill of health, she seemed oddly subdued. He knew that was because of this whole situation with Clayton Dixon. Discovering that the father who’d abandoned her had lived nearby all these years had to have thrown her for a loop. He still had no idea how she’d found out, but it didn’t surprise him that she had. Jeff might have inadvertently revealed something about the search Luke had asked him to conduct. Or maybe Grandma Jenny had suddenly come clean after all these years. She might not have known precisely where her former son-in-law was living, but she knew enough, including the details about why he’d left. Luke noted that she was as subdued as Hannah all through dinner. Only Kelsey and Jeff seemed oblivious to the undercurrents.

When they excused themselves along with Grandma Jenny to take a present to Lesley Ann’s new son, Luke turned to Hannah. “Something changed with those two? Kelsey and Jeff, I mean.”

“They’ve decided to keep the baby,” she told him, then grinned. “And it’s a girl.”

“You looked pleased.”

“How could I not be? Kelsey’s happier than I’ve ever seen her. I’d like to see a ring on her finger, but I just keep hoping that will come in time.”

“Oh, I think you can count on that,” Luke said. “I told you that Jeff is determined to make it happen, and he seems to understand your daughter well enough to know not to push her.”

“By the way, I think you’re going to be enlisted to help him put a crib together. He bought it as a surprise for Kelsey, but I watched him earlier. That crib doesn’t stand a chance without some expert intervention.”

“No problem. I’ll volunteer tomorrow.” He studied her. “I probably shouldn’t take you away from your own party, but you don’t seem to be having a very good time, anyway. Want to take a walk so we can talk?”

She was on her feet at once. “I thought you’d never ask. Let me just say good-night to everyone. I’ll meet you outside.”

“Keep them distracted,” he said. “I’ll try to pay the bill before Grandma Jenny can get to it.”

While he took care of that, he saw Hannah carrying on over Lesley Ann’s baby boy. Then she gave her grandmother, her daughter and Jeff quick hugs and headed his way. He couldn’t seem to stop himself from dropping a quick kiss on her knitted brow. “Stop worrying. The news isn’t that bad.”

“I imagine that depends on your perspective. You weren’t the one left behind.”

They strolled down Main Street to the beach, then walked over the dunes to the hard-packed sand in silence. Luke almost hated to break it, but he knew this conversation couldn’t be put off forever.

“How did you find out about your dad being close by, anyway?” he asked finally. “Did Jeff spill the beans?”

“No, he didn’t even realize that’s who you’d had him look for. Actually, when I was cleaning out my mother’s room, I found some unopened letters addressed to me. They were all postmarked nearby.”

Luke frowned at that. “You’d never seen them before?”

She shook her head. “Mom obviously kept them from me.”

“That fits with what your dad said. He said he had tried to stay in touch for a while.”

“But why didn’t he call? Hearing his voice would have been so much better.” Her gaze narrowed. “Or did he try that and no one would let him talk to me?”

“No, he didn’t call.”

Hannah sighed. “I guess I just want to blame someone for keeping us apart. How did you find out about all this, anyway? What made you go looking for my father?”

“It was something Doc said, so I asked Jeff to see if he could locate him.”

“Why didn’t you tell me then?”

“I was being protective. I wanted to know more before I filled you in. I’m sorry if that was the wrong way to handle it. I know this is about people keeping secrets from you and now I’m one of them.”

“No, I get why you did it,” she conceded. “Tell me what you found out.”

Luke explained as much as he knew about what had happened all those years ago and the decisions that her father and mother had made. “He honestly believes they did the right thing.”

Hannah clearly didn’t agree. Her eyes sparked with real anger. “That’s ridiculous! Nobody walks away from
a wife and child he claims to love to keep from borrowing money against a stupid piece of property. What kind of woman puts a man she supposedly loves into that position, anyway? Did you meet her?”

Luke shook his head. “Your father says she’s a hard woman who had a tough life before they met. I gather she had some issues with depression, too, that made him worry about what might happen to their child.”

Her expression mystified, she asked, “How could my father love someone who’s mean enough to make threats and destroy a family? Do you think he does?”

“He’s still with her,” Luke said. “That’s all I know.”

“But why? I don’t understand.”

“Maybe losing one family was enough. Maybe he wasn’t willing to lose another one. He says they’ve had a good life. You can ask him about all of that, if you decide to see him. And don’t forget about your mother’s role. I gather she’d finally had enough. I think she was the one who made the final decision that pushed him into leaving.”

Pondering that, Hannah led the way back up to the edge of the road, then sat down on a bench under some palm trees that were rustling in the evening breeze. “I still can’t believe I have a half brother. What was he like?”

“He seems like a nice-enough guy. He doesn’t know any of this. In fact, all he knew about Seaview was that mentioning it upset his mother.”

“Does he have children? Does Kelsey have cousins?”

“I don’t know. We never discussed that.” He studied her. “Any idea what you’re going to do?”

“A part of me wants to go there right this second and rant and rave and create a major scene,” she confessed ruefully, then added with more passion, “I’d even like to tear that awful woman’s hair out.”

Luke grinned. “Then isn’t it a good thing that there’s not another ferry until morning?”

“Probably, but venting could be good,” she replied, then sighed. “Another part of me wants all of this to just go away. Years ago, it would have meant the world to me to see my dad again, but now? Maybe I should just let it go. Leave him to his life. Forget about having a half brother. What do you think I should do?”

“It’s not really up to me. I will ask you this, though—can you really do that? Can you relock the box now that you’ve opened it?”

“I honestly don’t know,” she told him. “I wonder if I would have come down here or stayed so long if I’d had any idea how things would turn out.”

“Hey, don’t say that. Then we might not have hooked up,” Luke reminded her. “I wouldn’t have wanted to miss this.”

She leaned against him, met his gaze, then smiled slowly, comfortable with the way their relationship was developing, even if it scared her. “Me, neither. Why don’t we drop all this for tonight and go home?”

He stood up and held out his hand. “Now, that sounds like a stellar idea. Think we can sneak up to my room without getting caught?”

Hannah stood on tiptoe and pressed a very promising kiss against his lips. “I’m counting on it. I missed being in your bed and in your arms the past few nights.”

He grinned at that. “Nice to know I’ve left a memorable impression.”

“Don’t gloat. It’s unseemly.”

Luke laughed. “Unseemly? Just stating a fact, darlin’.”

Hannah narrowed her gaze. “I haven’t heard you mention missing me. Am I not as memorable as you are?”

“You are, without question, the most memorable woman I’ve ever been with,” he replied solemnly.

“And how many would that be? Just in the interest of clarification, of course.”

“Oh, no, you are not catching me in that trap. And why are we standing here discussing sex, when we could be home doing it?”

Hannah considered the question. “Not a single reason I can think of. Want to race me home?”

“You’re only suggesting that because I still have a bum knee,” he accused.

“I’m suggesting it because I suddenly want to hurry,” she countered. “Step it up, mister. That knee is getting better every day. You can’t use that as an excuse when I beat you.”

He caught her hand and spun her around. “Have I mentioned that I love you for not ever letting me off the hook?”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said lightly.

While she was still standing there, he winked and took off at a surprisingly brisk clip. She stared after him for a heartbeat.

“You cheating scoundrel,” she shouted, and then she ran, though there wasn’t a chance in the world she’d ever catch him. Then, again, maybe it didn’t matter, because she knew he’d be waiting for her.

H
annah sat at the kitchen table in the morning mulling over everything she’d learned from Luke about her father and his new family. Did she really want to get involved in that drama after all this time? The little girl inside who still yearned for her dad screamed yes. The mature adult who’d managed all these years without him was less certain.

Did she want to see him because she genuinely still loved him and wanted to reconnect? Or did she, as she’d said last night, merely want to heap guilt on him and make him understand just how deeply he’d hurt her? Was this about revenge or reconciliation? Could she ever look at things from his perspective and understand the decision he’d made? Or would that only deepen the resentment she’d always felt toward the inn and Seaview Key? It was ironic that she’d always blamed the inn for driving him away, only to discover that it had, but not in the way she’d imagined. In his own way, he’d loved it enough to protect it. It was going to require a lot more thought before she could decide what happened next.

She was still pondering the enormity of it all when Grandma Jenny came into the kitchen. She made her own cup of tea, then sat down opposite Hannah.

“I thought you’d be happier having Luke back here again,” Grandma Jenny observed. “The two of you looked pretty intense last night and here you are this morning looking as if you didn’t sleep a wink.”

Hannah flushed. There hadn’t been a lot of sleeping going on last night, but she could hardly explain that. If Gran hadn’t figured out that she’d been sleeping in Luke’s bed for a while now, then Hannah wasn’t going to tell her. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Such as? Does this have something to do with your father? Did Luke see him?”

Hannah nodded. “Why didn’t you and mom tell me what happened back then? I deserved to know.”

“I’ve already explained that,” Gran said impatiently. “You were too young.”

“But later, you could have told me it was all some crazy, misguided attempt to keep the inn in the family. Was that what you meant when you told me how much he’d loved this place?”

Gran frowned then. “Is that what Clayton’s saying?” She waved it off. “Nonsense. The inn was never in any real danger. That awful woman couldn’t have gotten her hands on it. It was in my name, not Clayton’s. She made her threats, that’s true enough, but they were idle threats. What she really wanted was money.”

“But if the inn was in no danger, then why did he give in to her demands? Luke said something about her suffering with depression, so he was worried about the baby she was carrying.”

“So he said at the time. If you’re asking for my opinion, I think that was the crux of it. She was carrying his child and your father had an honorable streak that made him want to do the right thing.”

Hannah still didn’t understand. “How was it more right to go with her than to stay here with us? If her mental health was that precarious, he could have fought her for custody.”

Gran looked momentarily taken aback. “Your mother would never have stood for that and he knew it. That’s exactly why he focused on the inn. The threat she’d made gave him the excuse he needed to run off with his floozy. At the same time, it helped him save face with your mother. She could tell herself that it wasn’t about him leaving her at all, but saving our heritage. I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but your father—for all of his decency and kindness, for all that he adored you—was a weak man. A foolish one, too. He honestly thought he could walk away and that everyone would somehow believe he was doing the right thing by all of them. He didn’t want to turn anyone against him. I think he was taken aback when your mother told him she wanted him out of her life—and yours—for good.”

“Mom told him that?” She couldn’t imagine the kind of strength that must have taken. Unlike Hannah’s eagerness to be rid of her own husband after she’d tired of his on-again, off-again commitment to their marriage, she’d always believed that her mother had remained wildly in love with her father. Had that been true? Now, she couldn’t be sure.

Grandma Jenny nodded. “She loved him, but she’d had enough, you see. This hadn’t been his first affair and it wasn’t likely to be his last. I was never more proud of her than I was that day, when she sat right here in this kitchen and told him that once he walked out the door, it was over for good. There would be no turning back, no forgiveness.”

“I had no idea,” Hannah murmured.

“Of course not. She didn’t want you to know. Just because she was through with him, she didn’t want you to hate him. She didn’t even hate him herself. She simply loved her self-respect more. And she wanted you to be able to hold on to the good memories. I suppose in a way, by cutting him out of your life at that point, she thought she was protecting you from ever finding out about his flaws.”

“So, knowing all this now, what should I do?” Hannah asked.

Gran gave her a sympathetic look. “Your decision. You’re an adult now. You can meet your father on your own terms, establish whatever kind of relationship you want with him.” She hesitated, then added, “And you do have a half brother. If it were me, I think I’d want to meet him, at least.”

“I do,” Hannah said. “Almost as much as I want to see my father again. After all, my half brother is as much of a victim of all this as I am. From what Luke said, the story was kept from him, too.”

“Then you’ll go to see them? Or invite them here?”

Hannah considered both scenarios, but neither seemed entirely right. There was her father’s wife—her stepmother, technically—to be considered if they met in his home. Hannah wasn’t anxious to cross paths with her. Here on Seaview, where she’d feel comfortable, there would be plenty of baggage for her father to face. “Neutral turf, I think,” she said at last. “Maybe a restaurant on the mainland.”

Gran looked dismayed. “In public?”

Hannah shrugged. “It’s not as if this is going to be some tearful, dramatic reunion or an out-of-control shouting match.”

“You sure about that?”

She shook her head. The truth was, she wasn’t sure about anything at all when it came to her father, even whether he’d earned the respect that came along with that title.

Luke called Doc first thing in the morning after his return to Seaview. “When you have some time, I’m ready to sit down and talk about joining the clinic,” he told him.

“Lunch at The Fish Tale,” Doc said eagerly. “I’m buying.”

“Does noon work for you?”

“Make it half past. I never get the last of the morning patients out the door on time.”

“Then I’ll see you at twelve-thirty,” Luke said. “Thanks, Doc.”

He hung up his cell phone just as Hannah came outside. She studied him quizzically. “Why were you talking to Doc?”

“I was setting up a meeting. We’re going to finalize our plans for me to join him at the clinic.”

“Really?”

“That can’t be a surprise to you. I’ve been talking about it for a while now.”

She shrugged. “I suppose I thought you’d come to your senses. After living in Atlanta, how can you be happy here?”

“The more relevant question is how did I ever manage to be happy in Atlanta?”

She frowned. “Come on, Luke. You were married, you had two great kids and you had a thriving medical practice in a major metropolitan area. What’s not to like about that?”

“I think it’s pretty evident that my marriage wasn’t all that solid and satisfying for either one of us. I was suc
cessful in my medical practice, but I wasn’t really happy with it. And I was so busy I hardly had any time at all with my kids. I finally feel as if I’ll be able to enjoy them now, even if we are separated some of the time.”

“A lot of the time,” Hannah corrected.

“Not compared to the separations that happened even when we were living under the same roof,” he insisted. “This is a fresh start for me, Hannah. I’ll finally have a real balance in my life. The slower pace will allow that. I’ll be able to have real quality time with my kids, when I visit Atlanta or when they come here. I’ll be able to practice the kind of medicine that can really make a difference.” He regarded her speculatively and threw out a thought that had been coming to mind more and more frequently. “I’d have time to devote to a marriage now, too.”

“Have you mentioned that to Lisa?” she asked irritably.

“She’s not the one I’m interested in marrying.”

She gave him a wary look. “What are you suggesting?”

“Nothing right this second,” he said, backing down at the scared tone in her voice. Maybe he was rushing ahead too fast for her. “I’m just putting that out there, planting the seed, so to speak. Maybe it’s something we could start considering.”

“We?”

He chuckled at her stunned expression. “Yes, as in you and me.”

“Luke, I can’t live here,” she protested.

“Can’t or won’t?”

“I don’t want to,” she said emphatically. “There’s nothing for me here, except years of resentment and bitterness. A few weeks can’t wipe away all the bad memories.”

“Come on, Hannah! What about your grandmother? She’s here. Kelsey and Jeff seem determined to settle
here. Your grandchild is on the way. And, of course, there’s me. I ought to sweeten the pot just a little, or have I gotten that all wrong?”

The question seemed to fluster her. “No, of course, you matter. A lot.”

“I sense a
but
in there,” he said. “Are you saying I’m not important enough for you to even consider moving back here?”

“It’s not that,” she protested. “You are important. The past few weeks have been amazing. I haven’t felt this way in years. To be honest, I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this way.”

“What way?”

“Loved. Cherished. Desired.”

“And you are all of those things,” he told her. “And I think you feel the same way about me.”

“I do,” she admitted. “But I can’t.”

“Can’t? Why the hell not?” he asked, just not getting it. She sounded so determined to throw ice on the whole idea of marriage, but so far she hadn’t said anything that made sense.

She gave him an impatient look. “I have cancer, Luke. I have to stay focused on that fight.”

“Which means you can’t have a relationship?” he asked incredulously. “Someone who can fight with you? You will beat this, Hannah. I believe that.”

“You don’t know that. I could
die,
Luke. There’s not a day of my life now that I don’t think about that.”

“I could die, too,” he said reasonably. “None of us have guarantees before we get married or get involved with someone.” He sought more impassioned words to convince her. “So what if we only have a few months or a few years together? Isn’t that better, having that time and living every second of it, than denying ourselves all
of it, because fate might not let it last long enough? Come on, Hannah, if people worried about what fate
might
have in store, they’d never do anything, never love anyone.”

He could tell she wanted to believe him, wanted to take that leap of faith with him, but he could also see that she wasn’t quite ready to do it. He crossed to where she was sitting on the edge of her chair, looking as if she wanted to make a break for someplace safe, someplace where there were no hard choices to be made. He gathered her up and kissed her as if there truly were no tomorrow.

“I want that,” he said. “I want it today and tomorrow and for however many days there might be. Just think about that, okay? That’s all I’m asking.”

She returned his gaze, her expression vaguely dazed. “Okay,” she said, touching a finger to her lips.

Luke winked. “I’ll see you later. I’m off to meet Doc.”

And maybe after he’d settled that part of his future, he’d stop at the island’s fancy new jewelry store and see if he could find just the right ring to seal that part of his future, too. Maybe if he had something concrete to show Hannah, proof that his intentions were serious—cancer or no cancer—she’d find a way to overcome her fears and give them a chance.

“Come with me,” Jeff said, dragging Kelsey away from her desk in the office where she was noting several new reservations.

“Hey, I’m in the middle of doing something,” she protested. “Do you realize we’re booked up through the end of April? Isn’t that amazing? And reservations are coming in for May and June, too.”

“That’s great,” Jeff said with enthusiasm. “But that’s not more important than what I have to show you. Stop
fussing and just come. It’ll take five minutes, more if you decide to reward me.”

“Reward you?”

He grinned. “The surprise is that good,” he assured her as he led the way upstairs.

Kelsey followed him toward his room, but instead of going there, he stopped at the room next door. “Close your eyes,” he commanded. “And don’t argue with me about that, too.”

“Okay, okay.” She dutifully closed her eyes.

She heard him unlock the door, then he took her hand in his and led her into the room.

“You can open your eyes now,” he said, his voice laced with excitement.

Unsure what to expect and praying that she would react the way he so obviously wanted her to, she opened her eyes slowly, then blinked.

“Oh, my,” she whispered, stunned. “Oh, Jeff, this is amazing.” She spun around slowly, trying to take in everything. “It’s a nursery for our baby. When did you have time to do this?”

“During your naps and whenever you had to go to the mainland for supplies,” he said. “Do you really like it?”

She threw her arms around his neck. “Of course I do. How could I not love it?”

He’d painted the walls a pale shade of pink and added a border of ducks and flowers at the top. The crib was white and had a mobile of ducks above it. The comforter matched the border on the walls and the sheets were the same pink as the paint. There was a changing table and a dresser, as well as a lamp that coordinated with everything. There was even a toy box in the corner and half a dozen stuffed ducks in the crib. A rocking chair sat in
another corner with a pin-striped pink-and-white blanket tossed over it.

“I hope I didn’t overdo it with the ducks,” he said worriedly. “You’d pointed out the border one day on the mainland and I kind of ran with it.”