Search Me (5 page)

“Damn you smell good.”

I laughed. “It’s just some vanilla lotion I threw on before I came over.”

“I’d say you smell good enough to eat!”

When I glanced up at him, he waggled his eyebrows and teasingly licked his lips. I knew he was waiting for me to die of embarrassment, but I didn’t. Instead, I drew on the liquid courage pulsing through my veins. I inched my face closer to his. My heart pounded in my ears as I whispered, “Why don’t you kiss me instead?”

Seconds ticked agonizingly by as I waited for his response. His face was expressionless except for the desire burning in his dark eyes. He then leaned in and brought his lips to mine for my first real kiss. Sure, I’d had a peck or two from guys, but nothing like this. It was everything a late bloomer like me had always hoped and fantasized it would be—especially since it was with Maddox.

When I felt the warmth of his tongue brush against my lips, I relaxed in his arms and tried to act like I knew what I was doing. As his mouth raged against mine, I fought the dizziness that threatened to overtake me. It felt like the world was spinning like a crazed game of Ring Around the Roses, and the only thing keeping me grounded was Maddox’s hands and lips on me.

I barely noticed when Maddox shifted up on his knees before easing me onto my back. Involuntarily, my legs opened wider to allow him to slide his hips between them. When he started rocking himself against me, I couldn’t help but moan into his mouth. Now I knew what everyone had been going on and on about when it came to sex and making out. Every inch of me scorched and burned like I was on fire.

As Maddox’s teeth grazed my bottom lip, I brought my hands up to twist and tug my fingers through his dark hair. I don’t know how long we stayed like that—lip-locked with his hips furiously pumping against me and me clumsily raising my hips up to meet his thrusts.

He tore his lips from mine and began kissing his way down my neck. When his fingers delved inside the top of my sundress, I wasn’t sure if I was completely ready for him to keep going. “Lane…” he groaned, his breath warming my chest against the cool, night air.

“Hmm?”

“I don’t want to stop…I don’t know if I
can
stop,” he panted.

The weight of his words crashed over me, causing me to shudder. I hadn’t anticipated things escalating so fast. Even though my conscious told me that at sixteen, almost seventeen, I was still too young, I knew in my heart what I desperately wanted to do. I exhaled a ragged breath. “Then don’t.”

Jerking his attention away from my breasts, he gazed up at me. “Are you sure?”

I bobbed my head furiously. “I mean it. I want to be with you…” I swallowed hard. “I want you to be my first.” Heat scorched across my cheeks as Maddox continued to stare at me. “You’re leaving, and I can’t think of anything better I could give you than myself.”

“You care about me that much?” Maddox questioned in a whisper.

“Yes, I do.”

Gazing around, his dark brows furrowed. “But out here?”

I gave a quick nod of my head. “What’s more romantic than being out here with you under the stars?” Chewing his bottom lip, Maddox appeared to be in some sort of inner turmoil at my request, causing my heart to plummet into my stomach. “If you don’t want me—”

“I just told you I didn’t want to stop, didn’t I?” When I didn’t respond, he added, “This alone should be enough to tell you how much I want you.” He pushed his erection against my center causing me to gasp. “Any guy with a brain would want to sleep with you.” He nipped my bottom lip before cutting his gaze to mine. “You’re so fucking sexy.”

Warmth tinged my cheeks at his compliments. Maddox’s hands went to the straps of my sundress. He slid them off my shoulders to where the tops of my breasts were exposed. His finger then delved inside the lazy cups of my bra. I sucked in a breath as his thumb rubbed across my hardening nipple. His lips replaced his thumb, and I pinched my eyes shut from the pleasure. While he nipped and suckled at one breast, his hand began to caress the other. I was on sensory overload and couldn’t stop the harsh pants from escaping my lips.

One hand left my breast to snake around my back. With little effort, he managed to unzip my dress. Rising up onto his knees, he eased my dress off, leaving me in my lacy bra and underwear. As his gaze roamed over me, I inwardly groaned. I never thought I would be getting to this state, so I was mortified to be sporting a red bra with black boy shorts.

My mismatching underwear didn’t seem to bother Maddox. He still licked his lips as he appraised me. His hands went to the hem of his shirt, and then he tugged it over his head. My fingers itched to run over the muscles of his perfect chest. “You’re so beautiful,” I murmured.

Maddox chuckled. “I think I’m the one who should be saying that to you.”

I tore my eyes off his abs to meet his gaze. “Then tell me.”

“Lane Montgomery, you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever rolled around in the grass with.”

Smacking his arm, I shook my head. “Way to ruin it.”

He chuckled. “I love to tease you. I have since we were kids, and it’s never going to change.” He nibbled his way from my jaw over to my ear. “Believe me when I say that you’ve grown into the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on,” he whispered.

When he pulled back to look at me, I squeaked, “You mean it?”

“Mmm, hmm, and I can’t wait to see how
beautiful
you are naked.”

I knew he wanted a rise out of me for his comment, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Instead, I eased up to a sitting position. Wrapping my hands around my back, I unsnapped my bra. As it fell away, Maddox watched me intently. With shaky hands, my fingers grasped the elastic band of my panties. In a quick move, I shoved them down my knees and over my legs. When I dared to look at Maddox again, he gave me a genuine smile. “Just as I thought…
beautiful.
”

“Thank you,” I murmured.

His hands went to his belt, and the next thing I knew his shorts were bundled into the pile with the rest of our clothes. I couldn’t help stealing a glance at his erection through his boxer shorts. I didn’t get to look too long because Maddox loomed over me, pressing me back down on the blanket.

As his hand came between my legs, I squeaked, causing him to laugh. “I hope I’ll hear a different kind of noise out of you in a second.”

When he slid one finger and then two inside me, I rewarded him with a moan. He worked his fingers in and out of me, causing the wetness between my legs to grow. “Oh..oh…God,” I whispered.

“Say my name,” he commanded as his fiery breath hovered over my navel. He then kissed a burning trail down between my legs. My bended knees shook as he pressed them wider apart. “Maddox!” I cried when his tongue darted out and licked me. My hips involuntarily bucked up toward his mouth. I’d never felt anything quite like the sensation of Maddox’s mouth closing over my center and sucking and nibbling.

When he plunged his tongue inside me, I came hard and fast. I shrieked and grabbed at his hair. “Oh Maddox…Oh yes, yes!” I cried out, not caring who heard me.

“Easy baby, don’t take all my hair before the Army can,” he murmured against the sensitive skin of my inner thighs.

“Sorry, it’s just…oh wow.”

His laughter against my lower belly caused my stomach to clench. “You liked that, huh?”

“I’ve never had one of those with someone.”

With a lazy smile, Maddox quirked his brows “Ah, you’ve been taken care of business yourself, huh?”

Heat flooded my cheeks. “Yeah,” I murmured.

“I’m quite honored to give you orgasms, Lane.”

I stared down at the bulge that was straining against his boxers. “You want me to…”

Rocking back onto his knees, Maddox shook his head. “I’ll come later on. Don’t worry.” After digging into his wallet, he produced a condom. I glanced up at the canopy of emerald trees rather than at the sight of him sliding on the protection. He eased himself between my legs. “Lane, look at me.”

When I met his gaze, he gave me a half smile before slowly entering me. With one thrust, I was his. There was no pain—years of intense ballet had somewhat prepared me. I guess there was something to be said for all those lifts and stretches.

His mouth sought out mine, and his tongue plunged inside me, mimicking his lower body. As the pressure built, my fingernails scraped along his back. Before I knew it, I was coming again. “Maddox!” I cried, gripping his shoulders.

He thrust harder and faster until a low groan erupted from his lips. He shuddered and then collapsed on top of me. With his breath warming my chest, my fingers went to his hair. “That was amazing, Maddox. Everything I ever hope it would be and more.”

When he didn’t reply, I kissed the top of his head. “I love you. I always have, and I always will.”

My words caused his head to snap up. In the moonlight, disbelief flickered in his eyes. He blinked a few times like he was trying to clear his mind. Then when he looked at me again, pain etched across his face. “Oh fuck…”

Jerking away from me, he shot to his feet. His naked form began pacing in front of me.

“What’s wrong?”

Maddox laughed maniacally. “What’s wrong? You seriously have to ask that question?”

“Yes. I mean, you’re freaking out, and I don’t understand why.”

Maddox reached down and snatched up his pants. “Christ, Lane, we just…I…SHIT!!” He jumped in the legs of his pants with lightning speed.

I ducked my head and fought to catch my breath. Gripping the edges of the blanket, I pulled them around me to cover myself. Desperation wracked me to my core as I tried processing what the hell was happening. How could he go from having sex with me one minute to being almost repulsed by me the next? Was it because I said I loved him? My chest threatened to cave in like the time I’d had the wind knocked out of me after falling off the jungle gym at Maudie’s. Ironically, Maddox was at fault for the pain that time too since he had pushed me because he wanted to go off the slide.

“You regret making love to me?” I questioned in a whisper.

After zipping his pants harshly, Maddox stared down at me. “Lane, you’re like my kid sister, and I just screwed you—fucking defiled you on an old blanket of Maudie’s.” He shook his head. “Jesus, I screw up everything!” He raked a shaky hand through his hair. “Let’s not forget that you’re sixteen—practically jailbait.”

“I don’t care about any of that. I care about you,” I countered. I couldn’t stop my lip from trembling when I added, “I do love you, Maddox.”

“I can’t do this,” he moaned.

“You don’t love me,” I said, more for myself as an acknowledgement than for him. In almost slow motion, I raised my head up to meet his gaze. Tears pricked my eyes, and I couldn’t fight them no matter how hard I tried. My water works sent Maddox scrambling away. I didn’t bother calling after him when he started sprinting back to Maudie’s house. What was there to say? I had been rejected in every way, shape and form.

We left the next day for the second leg of Dad’s book release tour. I never told anyone what happened—not my mom or Maudie. I’d read the letters he sent to my parents, which he happened to tack my name on to the top of, and I’d sign the cards and care packages we sent him. But he never tried to make things right, so I finally just wrote him off.

Until now.

As I made the familiar pilgrimage into Maudie’s the next morning, I kept craning my neck over my shoulder or darting my gaze around the parking lot. You could say I was on high alert for any sign of Maddox’s presence. Yesterday, I’d managed to avoid him after our too-close-for-comfort encounter. Luckily for me, Maudie seemed to be using Maddox’s brute strength out in the warehouse. Summertime was one of the busiest seasons because we sold fresh fruit and vegetables from local orchards.

I didn’t have smiles or waves for the workers. Instead, I just power-walked right on by them to the time clock. I fought temptation as I passed Eula and the intoxicating smell of her fried pies. When I breezed into Maudie’s office, I found her with a hammer in her right hand and some nails in the other. “Morning sunshine. I was just about to hang my painting.”

“Morning to you, too. Need any help?”

“No, I think I’m good. That is if I don’t have one million interruptions today with all the delivery trucks.”