Scattered Thoughts (Betrayed by Love Book 1) (12 page)

“Mom,” she said softly. I smiled, relieved she wasn’t still mad. “What are
you
doing here?” No, I was wrong, she was still mad.

I pulled my hands through my hair, a habit I seemed to have picked up from Alec this past weekend. “Anna, please.”

“Please what, Mom. You should have told us.”

“Anna, I did tell you. It was only a picture.”

She jumped to her feet, the stool she was sitting on falling to the floor. “Don’t play dumb with me! Dad told us everything. Did you honestly think you could get a divorce without telling us?” She stormed out of the kitchen before I could say anything, all evidence of her good mood long gone. I couldn’t believe Spencer told them about the divorce. We’d agreed to wait until after graduation. If he’d wanted to tell them sooner he could have at least waited for me to get home so we could do it together.

That asshole!
my inner voice snapped. He’d managed to make
this
my fault too. Nothing I said to Anna would matter now. Spencer screwed this up and he was going to have to make it right.

Sara stood at the stove, her back turned, undoubtedly uncomfortable after another episode of the James’ family drama. “Do you know where Spencer is?” I asked.

“He flew to Atlanta this morning. He’ll be back on Wednesday.” I exhaled slowly. On one hand I was happy to have a couple more days to figure out what to say to Spencer, but on the other I was irritated I’d have to wait until Wednesday for him to fix the mess he created.

I poured myself a glass of wine and headed back into my office to drink, alone. After clearing the papers from my desk I made a to-do list for the following day, anything to keep my mind off of everything that had happened since I got home.

That   familiar   tone   chimed   alerting   me   to   a   new email. Reluctantly I opened it.

Date: April 20, 2015 06:27 PM

To: Isabella James

From: Alec Payne

Subject: Waiting for your call

Isabella,

Should I be worried or mad? Call me.

Alec Payne

CEO, Payne Enterprises

I closed my email program without responding. “Let him worry, or be mad, or whatever he wants to be,” I shouted. He was on my shit list too for forcing me to hand over my clients. After powering down my laptop I headed back to the kitchen for another glass of wine but froze when I saw Drew.

“Welcome home,” he said when he saw me.

Cautiously I smiled, trying to gauge his mood. “Thanks.”  

Drew moved closer, pulling me into a hug, and I hoped I was forgiven. “Drew, I’m really sorry we didn’t tell you guys sooner.”

“Look, this sucks, but knowing sooner wouldn’t make it suck any less. Plus, I kinda see why you wanted to wait.”

I took his hand in mine “Your maturity never fails to surprise me. You’re growing up so fast.”

He pulled his hand back. “What I don’t understand is why you wanted a divorce in the first place.” Maybe I’d spoken too soon.

“Anna said Dad told you everything.”

“Dad told us you guys had a fight and then you filed for divorce.”

Can this get any worse?
Dropping my head, I whispered, “More or less.”

“Mom, I know there’s something you’re not saying. I wish you’d trust me enough to tell me the truth.”

Tears filled my eyes. I’d never be able to tell Drew what really happened. Not because I didn’t trust him, but because it wasn’t something any child should know about their parent. “Some things are just better left unsaid. I hope you can understand that.”

Refilling my glass of wine, Drew said, “I think I do.” He kissed me on the cheek then hopped up to help Sara finish dinner leaving me to my own thoughts.

When we sat down for dinner, the tension was so thick it was palpable. Drew and Sara made small talk, doing their best to lighten Anna’s mood. Drew gave me the prom update, looking over at Anna from time to time, trying but failing to coax her into conversation. He shared details about the upcoming senior picnic and the Grad Bash too, nothing worked.

“I need to get back to my homework,” Anna said finally. Setting her plate in the sink she disappeared from the kitchen without a second glance or another word.

“We all need time to adjust,” Drew offered. Even though I knew he was right it hadn’t made it any easier.

After the dinner dishes were all cleaned, I said goodnight to Sara and Drew then headed upstairs to bed. It had been a long first day back, and I was beyond ready to get some sleep.

• • • • •

“You’re such a bad girl, Bella.” His voice was gruff. I couldn’t see. Something was covering my eyes. I wanted to move it but I couldn’t. My arms were tied. Pain radiated all the way to my fingers as I tried to free my arms.

“Why must you defy me?” I know that voice, but who? “Answer me!” he screamed. My ribs hurt now too. I couldn’t breathe.

His mouth was on mine, his breathing ragged. He smelled of alcohol and cigarettes, and something sweet, familiar even. Pain shot through my side again. Tears rolled in steady streams down my cheeks. “Cry, Bella. I like it when you cry.”

“Why are you doing this?” I asked, finally able to speak.

“What’s mine is mine, Bella.” His voice was harsh. The pain came again and again, harder with each blow, making it almost impossible to breathe. I closed my eyes, trying to absorb the pain as the hits continued.

“Please, stop,” I begged.

“You can’t have what’s mine!” The pain came again completely taking my breath that time. I felt a sharp pinch on my neck. My head started to spin. My eyelids closed and this time they wouldn’t reopen.

I jolted upright in bed, breathless, my heart racing. Tears covered my face, my silk nightshirt wet and clinging to my body. I looked around. There was no one here. “It was only a nightmare,” I said out loud, dismayed by their return.

It was still dark outside. Picking up my phone to check the time, a sharp pain radiated from my wrist all the way to my elbow and I dropped it quickly. Lifting it up with my other hand, I unlocked the screen; 3:13 a.m. flashed. It was way too early to get up. My body needed sleep. Doing my best to give my body what it desperately needed, I laid my head on the pillow and closed my eyes, but images, those images, filled my mind.

“Not one nightmare the entire time I was gone,” I said out loud. Maybe it was the house, just being here; the stress of all the memories we’d shared over the years too great. Maybe
I
should move out instead of Spencer. But could I handle losing my husband and the security of my home all at once? I lay awake in bed, watching the shadows from the moonlight dance on the ceiling, knowing sleep wouldn’t find me now.

Every muscle in my body screamed as I climbed out of bed. Pain radiated through my arm when I gripped my toothbrush but I pushed past it. “It can only hurt if you let it, Izzy,” my dad’s words rang in my ears now. I washed away the evidence of last night’s dream then slipped into my running clothes.

My heart was still in hyper drive as I made my way to the kitchen so I decided to skip the coffee for now, instead opting for a bottle of water before heading out into the darkness of the predawn hour for my morning run. Jogging slowly at first I quickly picked up speed. Taking the route I’d used hundreds of times made up for my lack of sight. I’d memorized every turn, every crack in the sidewalk, every imperfection in the pavement.

By the time I got up to full speed the pain in my ribs had come back with a vengeance, stopping me dead in my tracks. A sharp stabbing pain had me doubling over, my lungs screaming for air that wouldn’t come. In through my nose, out through my mouth, tiny breaths were all I could manage. I limped my way back home doing my best to ignore the pain but by the time I made it home I was beginning to wonder if I really had hurt myself somehow.

As I dried off from my shower, I stared at myself in the mirror with disbelief of the reflection staring back at me. Dark circles had formed around my eyes as if I hadn’t slept in days and my side was shadowed by what appeared to be the formation of a bruise. Yesterday morning I’d looked so rested, so relaxed. Today I looked like I’d been run over by a truck. What a difference one day home had made.

After pulling on my favorite linen pants and a long sleeve t-shirt I headed downstairs to make some coffee. Faint voices coming from the kitchen caught my attention as I came down the stairs. Drew and Anna weren’t usually up this early and it sent my defenses up.

Taking as deep a breath as I could manage, I braced for what was sure to be an early morning battle.

“Good morning, Izzy,” Sara said when I walked into the kitchen. “Look who I found when I went out for the paper.”

My eyes shifted to where she was pointing. My mouth dropped open the second I saw him, my feet suddenly frozen in place.

“Isabella, I’m glad to see you’re in once piece.”

“What are you doing here?”

“You didn’t call. You didn’t answer my email. I went with worried, but I see I’ve made the wrong choice.”

Shit. I couldn’t do this. Not at my house, in my kitchen, and certainly not this early. Drew and Anna would be down for breakfast soon. They couldn’t find Alec here. “My office is right this way, Mr. Payne.” I walked out of the kitchen leaving Sara by herself, wide eyed, no doubt wondering what this was all about.

“Why are you here?” I asked when we’re safely behind the closed door of my office. “You know how mad my kids were when they saw that picture of us. How mad do you think they’ll be if they find you here, especially this early?”

Alec stepped toward me. “We just went through this, Isabella. You didn’t call. You didn’t answer my email. I was worried.”

“Did you stop to think maybe there was a reason I didn’t call you back? Like maybe I was too mad to even think about talking to you.”

“Mad?” He tilted his head to one side.

“Yes, Alec. Mad. Regular people have feelings too, ya know, and right now I’m feeling mad, at you!”

Taking a step back, he said, “Okay, let’s have it. Why are you mad?”

I crossed my arms. “My job, Alec. I worked hard to get where I am in my career and just like that it’s changing, all because some control freak with more money than sense said so.”

Alec pulled his hand through his hair. “Change is inevitable, Isabella. And I thought you’d be happy to spend more time with me, or at least be excited about the opportunity to advance your career.”

I opened my mouth to speak but closed it. I was so mad at Alec I hadn’t even considered what having Payne Enterprises in my portfolio could do for my career. “Well, you could’ve at least told me.”

Alec rubbed his chin between his thumb and forefinger. “And deny myself the opportunity for make-up sex, not a chance,” he said smiling, my words from yesterday amusing him now.

“Who said anything about sex?” I snapped, unable to hide my annoyance.

He pulled me into his arms. “Ow,” I cried, reflexively pulling my arm back.

Alec’s forehead wrinkled. “Baby, what is it?”

“It’s nothing.” His jaw tightened, clearly not buying my story. “My arm hurts but it’s no big deal.”

“You were fine yesterday. What happened?”

I rubbed my forehead wishing I knew myself. “I had another nightmare. My arm hurts. End of story.”

“Dreams can’t hurt you, Isabella. Now what’s really going on?”

“Seriously, Alec, it’s nothing. I probably hit my arm on the bedside table or something. Now please, just drop it.” I looked up at the ceiling, praying he’d let it go.

Alec kissed me on the forehead. “Okay. I’ll drop it. But only if you promise me you’ll get it looked at.”

A sigh escaped me. I didn’t want to argue with him, especially knowing Drew and Anna would be down for breakfast soon. I needed to get him out of my house. They were mad enough at me as it was and Alec being here before breakfast was the last thing I wanted to have to explain. “Fine. I’ll get it looked at.”

Wrapping his arm around my waist Alec pulled me into him, his mouth inches from mine. “That’s not the answer I was looking for, Isabella.”

“I said I’d get it looked at.” Alec narrowed his eyes, still not happy with my answer. “I’ll call the doctor,” I added, but his expression still didn’t change. “I promise.”

Alec cupped my face between both his hands and brushed his lips against mine, his tongue urging me to open. His hands slid to my neck, tilting my head up toward him. My lips parted and he claimed my mouth with his tongue, his hands fisting in my hair. I ran my hands up his back, the shooting pain in my arm temporarily numbed by my throbbing sex.

When he pulled away I had to hold on to his shirt to keep from falling. “I have to get back to New York. Come with me.”

The effects of that kiss lingered and I paused to consider his offer, but only for a moment. “I’d love to, Alec, but thanks to this incredibly demanding new client of mine I’m overloaded with work this week,” I said, finally recovering my equilibrium.

“Demanding, huh?” That wicked grin crossed his face. “Baby, I’ll show you demanding,” he whispered in my ear. His words made me blush. Damn my body for betraying me whenever he was around. “Thursday night. You and me. Tampa.”

• • • • •

Dr. Leonard sent me for x-rays to rule out any broken bones. She said it was unlikely but wanted to be certain. I’d tried to object but she wouldn’t hear it, not even when I told her I was swamped.

The imaging center agreed to squeeze me in so I couldn’t really complain about the long wait either. I had back-to-back meetings scheduled for tomorrow, one of them in Tampa, so waiting was my only real choice. Luckily they had Wi-Fi so at least I was able to get some work done while I waited.

By the time they called my name I’d gotten through all the client notification emails on my list except one, Chris Matthews, the General Manager of the Sandestin Beach Resort. I had the email prepared to send but decided at the last minute a phone call would be better. Two weeks earlier Chris had been the client I dropped everything for, now he was being dropped. Breaking the news by email seemed cruel somehow.

In a matter of minutes the x-rays were done and I was on my way home. I still had to finish the client reports I’d been working on for my meetings with Kari and Steve in the morning so I decided to call Chris on the drive home to maximize my time.

“Sandestin Beach Resort,” the tiny voice answered. “Hi. It’s Izzy James. Chris Matthews, please.”

“He’s been trying to reach you, Ms. James, please hold.”

“Izzy, hi, I just got off the phone with the photographer. Everything is set for Saturday.”
Saturday? Photographer?
Then it hit me; the photo shoot Anna asked me to help her arrange for the senior class. Dozens of students gathered on the beach in their formal attire taking advantage of the picturesque backdrop the Gulf provides.

“You’re awesome. These are going to be the best prom pictures ever.” I took a deep breath. “Chris, I’m afraid I didn’t call about the photo shoot. I called to let you know Kari will be handling your account for the next few months.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

I didn’t want to lie to him but I wasn’t sure how to tell him the truth either. “I just have a lot on my plate with my new travel schedule and I feel the Sandestin’s needs will be better served this way.” It wasn’t the full truth but it wasn’t a lie either.

“Izzy, I don’t think I like this.”

“You love Kari,” I said. Distraction deployed. “She’ll do a great job for you. And it’s not like I’m leaving the team. I’ll be around if there’s a problem she can’t handle.”

“So this is a done deal then?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Well, thanks for the call, I guess,” he said, his bubbly demeanor gone.

“Call me if you need me, okay.”

“Sure, fine.” Just like that the line went dead. I exhaled loudly. At least he took it better than I’d expected; no yelling or whining or sarcasm. He wasn’t happy but I hadn’t expected him to be. I’d been by his side since he first took the job at the Sandestin almost ten years ago. He trusted me, but he’d learn to trust Kari too.

I spent the rest of the afternoon jotting down notes my team would need when they took over my accounts. It felt wrong as I put pen to paper, writing detail after detail, so many secrets I’d kept stored, in my mind only, not daring to risk client confidentiality by adding them to some file that had the potential to be hacked.

With the day coming to an end, and several details I still needed pulled together before I left town in the morning, I knew I’d never get them done on my own. I shot a quick email to Jonathan for the help I needed and was about to close my email program when a new message arrived.

Date: April 22, 2015 05:37 PM

To: Isabella James

From: Alec Payne

Subject: Lunch tomorrow

Ms. James,

Lunch. Tomorrow. I’ll pick you up at 1:30. It’s not a request.

Alec Payne,

Incredibly Demanding CEO, Payne Enterprises

His signature made me laugh but that didn’t mean I could have lunch with him tomorrow. Thanks to him I was going to be buried in meetings all day. I typed a quick response.

Date: April 22, 2015 05:38 PM

To: Alec Payne

From: Isabella (Izzy) James

Subject:  Lunch tomorrow

Incredibly Demanding Control Freak,

I’m booked solid tomorrow. Aren’t you in New York anyway?

Izzy James

Issues & Reputation Manager

Dimarco

I waited a few minutes for a response but when it didn’t come I shut down my computer and headed into the kitchen for dinner.

Anna had a Prom Committee meeting and Drew had made plans to eat with his friends so it was just Sara and I, and the bottle of White Zinfandel she brought over. We made small talk while we ate. I asked about her husband, their new house, her plans for graduate school, anything to keep the conversation off my divorce, and Alec’s early morning visit.

After the dinner dishes had been cleaned I headed upstairs to pack before calling it a night. I’d hoped to smooth things over with Anna before heading out of town again but it wasn’t looking like that would happen now, not this trip anyway.

When my suitcase was all packed I climbed into the shower, excited to call it a night. Another early morning had left me more than exhausted. As I slid into bed I picked up my phone to do a final check of email and found one missed call. I scrolled through the call log and discovered it was from Alec. I was way too tired to risk any more surprises today so I decided to send him an email instead.