Savvy Girl, A Guide to Etiquette (9 page)

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Authors: Brittany Deal,Bren Underwood

Tags: #table manners, #thank you notes, #social etiquette, #entertaining, #dating etiquette, #thank you note etiquette, #bridesmaid etiquette, #maid of honor etiquette, #how to shine as your best self, #tech etiquette, #modern manners, #win friends, #etiquette expert, #proper social behavior, #respect, #social conduct, #charming, #etiquette advice, #good manners, #wedding etiquette, #move on over Emily Post, #polished, #self-help, #etiquette guide, #build confidence, #how to be your best self, #guest etiquette, #manners, #hosting, #host etiquette, #elegant, #being a great guest, #nice people, #social media etiquette, #the power of appreciation, #Etiquette

BOOK: Savvy Girl, A Guide to Etiquette
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[
BRITT:
Fun tidbit: I met Bren because we were sat at the same table at a mutual friend’s wedding. I loved her immediately, of course, and we started talking about
Must Bring Buns
and Savvy Girl. You never know what could happen if you introduce yourself to the people at your table… it may be the start of an awesome business collaboration.
]


THROW THE BRIDE A BONE.
Join in on the dancing (trust us, people are looking at the bride—not you), cheer during the bouquet toss (and leap for that sucker like it’s a free trip to Hawaii), and in general, participate in the reception fun. It is your duty as a guest—whose seat cost the happy couple a lot of money—to contribute to the good time.


GREET THE BRIDE AND GROOM.
Some brides and grooms have a receiving line, some go table-to-table to talk to guests, and others say hello to guests throughout the reception. Regardless, be sure to snag some time with the bride and groom at some point during the wedding. When you do come face-to-face with the happy couple, be sincere
yet brief—
they’ve got a small army of friends and family to chat with.

A FEW NOTES ON WEDDING SPEECHES

Finally, your Business Communications 101 class is going to pay off.
Traditionally, the bride’s parents, the maid of honor, and the best man give speeches at the wedding; friends, family, and members of the wedding party give their speeches at the rehearsal dinner. Rehearsal-dinner speeches are optional; only speak if you feel so inclined.

[
BRITT:
When giving a speech, preparation is a yes, notes are a yes (if they’ll help you stay on track), but taking Fireball shots before your speech to help you feel less nervous is a big no. We understand the temptation; however, some stories just aren’t as funny when you’re sober (“This one time when Sarah went as Officer Naughty to the Halloween Party . . .”). Save these stories for the bachelorette party, when it’s just between friends.
]

Brittany is so right on this front: Keep your stories limited to the ones that show the couple in the best light. No one wants to feel embarrassed in front of their great-aunt Betty. The best speeches are ones that speak from the heart, whether that’s sharing a cherished childhood memory with the bride or gushing about how the couple is a match made in heaven.

SPEECHWRITING DOS AND DON’TS

DO
include a special memory or story that’s appropriate, such as when you met studying abroad in England or how you spent every summer together as little girls.

DO
stand to give your speech so everyone can see you, especially the bride and groom.

DO
prepare ahead of time and practice, practice, practice.

DO
encourage guests to “raise their glasses” (and make sure you have a glass of Champagne in front of you) when you finish your speech to toast the guests of honor.

DON’T
talk for hours. Instead, keep your speech succinct and sincere (3–5 minutes, max).

DON’T
make the speech all about you. Instead, keep the focus on the bride or bride and groom.

DON’T
say anything negative or embarrassing. Be positive, positive, positive.

DON’T
sob through your speech so guests can’t hear you. I know it can be tough to keep your emotions in check, but you’ll be grateful for holding your stuff together—and so will the wedding guests. Nothing’s as cringe-worthy as a sobbing maid of honor (sorry, Britt!).

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