Save Me (34 page)

Chapter Sixty-One

Tegan

It had been six months since me and Kai officially got together and we were celebrating our half-year anniversary
me leaving Sixth Form. It’d taken a lot of work but I’d finished school, got good grades and was looking forward to the future with Kai. I was proud of how far I’d come and what I’d achieved.

I
’d been by the guy that wanted regular sex on his motorbike some romance. He told me he wanted me through
Karaoke
so I didn’t hold up much hope for traditional romance.

“Where’s he taking you?” Ava asked. Mum sat on my bed
, too, watching me pack a small suitcase.

“I have no idea. It could
be anywhere. Do you two know?” I was pretty sure they didn’t because they were awful at keeping secrets.

“No, he’s not told us,” Mum replied, avoiding eye contact.

“He so has. You’re not going to tell me though, are you?”

She shook her head.

“Will it make me mad at him?”

Ava laughed. “Not this time.”

So he really had planned something traditionally romantic? I wasn’t convinced. So whatever he told them it was all lovey but obviously he wouldn’t tell them if he was taking me to a sex dungeon for the weekend.

“You know neither of you are very helpful.”

“He’s planned something nice, you both deserve nice, so relax and enjoy it,” Mum said.

Oh, I was sure I would enjoy it, romance or sex cave, but again, I didn’t like not knowing what I was doing.

I held my hands up. “Okay, fine, I’m chilling out. What do you two have planned for the weekend?”

That was one thing that hadn’t changed; Mum and Ava were still so close that sometimes I felt like a third wheel. But it was better, a lot better. I made an effort to join in and not let self-doubt convince me they didn’t really want me there. They did and I wanted that, too. I’d never
worried about my relationship with them all that much because I was always with Dad but now I realised how important they both were to me.

“Cinema and shopping,” Ava replied. “We’ll be here when you get home Sunday, though. Can’t miss the Sunday roast. Kai will stay, right? We assumed since you were here he would be. You know, since you never leave each other’s side.”

I waved my hand around the room. “He’s not here now, is he?”

“Give it a minute,” Mum said dryly.

Alright, so we barely spent a night apart, besides one night a week when me, Mum and Ava have a girls’ night. I didn’t care what anyone thought though; I wanted to be with him the whole time.

“You can’t use that, he’s due here soon anyway.”

They both smiled. They were happy now, too, but Mum was lonely. I could tell sometimes that she was thinking about her future. She didn’t want to see anyone else, not now, but she found it hard to think about spending her life alone, especially once me and Ava moved out. I felt such fierce loyalty to my dad that a selfish part of me didn’t want her to be with someone else but that was the part that I was working on exorcising. I wanted my mum to be happy again and if that meant she eventually moved on with another man then I would support her, no matter how hard or strange it was.

“He’s always due here soon,” Ava said, lifting an eyebrow.

“Oh, stop teasing her, it’s sweet. You remind me of how things were with your dad in those early years.”

“What, then he started to piss you off?” I said, dodging her arm as she tried to slap me for my choice of words.

“Honey, they all start to
annoy
you after a few years. You know they’re the one when you still want to be around them anyway.”

I already knew that about Kai. The guy sang to me in front of a packed bar and I didn’t kill him, I was sure I could overlook petty annoying things he did like leaving socks laying on the floor by his bed.

“You want that again?” I asked her. We’d not had that conversation yet. Me and Ava had spoken about it before but never to Mum. “Don’t be mad at me, I know it’s too soon but we want you to know that you never have to be scared of telling us if you do.”

She stood up and hugged me, holding one arm out for Ava. Group hugs were something I was
slowly getting used to as well.

“Thank you, both of you. Right now I can’t even imagine being with another man but perhaps one day, if I feel differently. It’s good to know that I have your support or I’d be worrying.”

She would be worrying about my reaction. I was the one that goes off the deep end, Ava was ‘normal’.

“I’ve not handled a
lot all that well,” I said, breaking out of the hug. “But I’m stronger now so you really don’t have to worry about me.”

“I know,” Mum replied, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

“Party’s up here then,” Kai said, walking into my room. I wasn’t ready for him, not at all prepared for the massive jump in my heart rate. I turned and locked eyes with the guy that meant everything to me.

I stepped into his arms because if we were around each other we had to be touching. Apparently that would stop once all the annoying things kicked in.

“Hey, I’m almost done packing.”

He kissed the top of my head. “You won’t need clothes.”

At first my mum had slapped him when he made comments like that but now she laughed and, more disturbingly, sometimes joined in.

This time she laughed, along with Ava. I didn’t though, because it was entirely p
ossible that we were going to a sex dungeon.

“Hurry up then, the sooner we get there…”
he trailed off, kissing the side of my head. Wisely, he didn’t finish the sentence but Mum still laughed again.

We arrived at a tiny cottage in the middle of nowhere. We’d been driving for almost three hours and were, apparently, somewhere near Sherwood Forest in Nottingham.

It was pretty and I’d made Kai promise to take me to the forest so I could see where Robin Hood did his thing.

I got out of the car a little bit in shock. The cottage was so small and quaint that I wanted to buy it instantly. It was just too cute. “Kai,” I said, taking his hand as we walked inside. This was not going to be a sex dungeon.

I ran my fingertips over the ivy growing up the walls as Kai opened the door. “Come on,” he said, pulling me inside.

Downstairs there was only a living room and small kitchen/dining room. A fireplace took almost all of one wall. Upstairs there was a large bedroom with a four poster bed and a bathroom with the most gorgeous roll top bath.

I turned to him
and held my hands up. “What…?”

“You wanted romance, princess.”

Yeah, but I didn’t think I’d get it. I wasn’t the romance type but the harder I fell for Kai the more I wanted the occasional moment where things were so sweet I half wanted to puke.

He reached over me, put the plug in the bath and turned the water on. “What’re you doing?” I asked.

“Laying a carpet,” he said sarcastically.

There was my Kai.

“Funny.”

“I’m going to get our bags from the car, bring the massage oils and bubble bath up here, then I’m going to romance your tits off. When I get back be naked and in that tub.”

I made it my mission to get him to say something romantic this weekend, too. When he’d disappeared out of sight I stripped my clothes, laid them on the little wooden chair and stepped into the ankle-deep hot water. I tipped the complimentary bubble bath in because I wasn’t sure how long Kai would take and I wanted lots of bubbles.

“Close your eyes, Tegan?”
Kai called through the door.

“What? Why?”

“Trust me, lay back and close your eyes.”

I did what he said and laid back in the water that had just reached the top of my belly. He poured something in the bath, which I assumed was more bubbles, and grazed my leg when he swooshed the water around.

“Keep them closed until I say.”

The next thing I heard was tiny little thuds, lots of them, and I was pretty sure I heard his belt hit the floor. I didn’t know if he’d planned it to be such a turn on but it was. There were no handles on the bath for me to grip so I focused on trying to keep my breathing even.

Lavender. I could smell lavender. I wanted to open my eyes so bad.

“How much longer?” I asked.

I sensed his smile. He turned the water off when it was
just above my breasts. “Not long.” His voice got further away and when he said ‘okay, open’ I knew he wasn’t in the room anymore.

My mouth fell right open when
I saw what he’d done. He’d lit candles on the windowsill, scattered
rose petals
on the floor and had three bottles of massage oil beside the bath.

He was taking this romance thing seriously.

“Kai?” I called. Was I dreaming this? The door opened and I burst out laughing. No, I definitely wasn’t dreaming. Kai stood completely naked besides his dog tags, obviously turned on as well, holding a long-stem rose between his teeth.

He held his hands out to say ‘well, what do you think?’

“I love you,” I said, still laughing at how ridiculous he looked. Opening his mouth he let the rose fall to the floor. It reminded me a little of how I let go of my dad but I didn’t dwell on that because I hadn’t told him or anyone else exactly what had happened, just that I’d said goodbye.

“So, top marks?” he asked, waving his hand
towards the candles.

“Hmm, top marks once I see how good you are at giving massages.”

He pointed at me. “Sit forwards, I’ll show you.”

He got in behind me, pulled me right back against his chest and wrapped his arms around me. I loved it, loved him and how safe I felt when he was with me. He was my peace, my happy ending and nothing could kill me the way it did when Dad died when I had Kai. We could go home right now and this still would’ve been the best day of my life.

Planting a kiss on my shoulder, he said, “Sit forwards.” He reached over and poured some oil onto his palm. When his hands touched my back I closed my eyes. He worked slowly, rubbing every inch of my back and shoulders with a touch that was both soft and firm. I was in heaven.

“I love you,” he whispered, kissing my neck. “I don’t say it enough, I know that, but never doubt how much you mean to me.
Even after I made my peace with Isaac’s death I was hardened to emotion but you changed that. I have never loved anyone so much or so hard. I’d do anything for you.”

I felt a tear trickle down my cheek.
“Kai…”

“Shh,” he whispered. “You want a mushy moment so don’t stop me because I’m on a roll here.” I laughed, still crying. He ran his hands along my arms and curled his chin around the base of my neck.

“You make me a better person, you make me want to settle down and do all of the big commitment and responsibility shit I’ve avoided for so long. None of that scares me anymore because it’ll all be with you. I know things won’t always be easy but I promise you I won’t ever give up on us, I’ll fight to the death to give you the life you deserve and I’ll try every day to make you happy.”

“You don’t have to try to do that,” I said.

“You’re my world.” He gripped my hands and murmured against my neck, “Marry me, Tegan.”

I froze. That I expected even less than the bath surprise.

“So I pour my heart out for five minutes and propose and you can’t even say one little word?” His lips brushed my ear. “That word is yes.”

I closed my eyes, tightening my grip on his hands. A sob escaped my mouth and I knew it was pointless to even try to stop myself getting all emotional and blubbery. Turning around awkwardly, I
placed my hands on either side of his face and kissed him. “Of course I’ll marry you. There’s no one else I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

His smile was so pure and so genuine that it made my heart skip a beat. I was determined to give him everything he deserved, too. We’d both made mistakes but we were going to be happy, we deserved happiness.

I managed to squeeze my legs either side of his and mould our bodies together. “I tried to find a ring but none of them were pretty enough to be you.”

I loved what he saw in me. “
Let’s find one together. Something that’s perfectly imperfect, something that’s
us
.”

“Hey, I’m the one doing the mushy stuff tonight.”

Grinning, I added, “Fine, get me the biggest diamond the shop has.”

“I love you,
Pennells.”

“
Love you, too, Chambers. Forever.”

He kissed me until the bath water ran cold and our fingers looked like prunes.

Epilogue

Kai

“Are you nervous yet?” James asked, handing me a beer. It was eleven in the morning on my wedding day and I was about to drink my third beer. We’d been together for three years now and I’d proposed to her about six months into the relationship. We’d finally saved enough to have the wedding we –
she
– wanted.

Lucas pushed the plate of sausages and bacon we’d had ordered to the room towards me.

“Nervous about screwing up the words.”

“Or saying the wrong name,” Adam added.

“Oh, fuck sake, now I’m going to! Tegan. Tegan. Tegan.”

My arsehole best man and ushe
rs laughed. She would kill me. Worse, she would do something to my dick that made my eyes water just thinking about it.
Tegan Zoe Pennells
. The fucking registrar was going to say it first anyway, all I had to do was repeat.

“Are you not nervous that she won’t turn up?” James said, smiling around the neck of the bottle.

That was one thing I was sure of; she now knew exactly what she felt and what she wanted.

Since clearing her head and turning her life around she’d been left with a lot of guilt. Her guilt o
ver me was completely misplaced. I knew the score; she’d been clear about what we were and what she wanted from me. I’d told her she had nothing to be sorry for, but not too often, I really enjoyed the make-it-up-to-you blowjobs.

“No.
There’s no way she won’t be there. Anyway, you fuckers are supposed to be
supportive
.”

“Hey,” James said, “we are. Drink your beer.”

Lucas shoved the plate even closer. “And eat.”

I ate and had another beer and then it was time to get married. James, Lucas and Adam escorted me to the ceremony room where the registrar, my parents and Alison were already waiting.

“Are you ready, Kai?” Alison asked.

“Is anyone ever ready for Tegan?”

She laughed and shook her head. “You’ll look after my daughter, won’t you?”

“We’re just down the road, you know?”

Tegan didn’t want to move in with me until we were married, although she stayed at mine most nights. She needed as much time as possible with her mum and sister. They’d finally gotten a good relationship where she didn’t feel like a third wheel and I knew that when she moved away she wanted good memories of living with them.

“I know, I know. I’ll miss her, though. She’s my baby.”

I grinned. “Soon you’ll have plenty grandbabies to keep you busy.”

“Promises, promises,” she muttered playfully and took her seat beside my parents. Honestly though, we were in no rush to have children. Tegan couldn’t keep a goldfish alive and I’d probably put a nappy on upside down and inside out.

Our guests started to arrive. We had forty people and it was only close family and friends, the people that meant the most to us, attending. Although she’d invited practically the entire town to the evening reception.

Alison had asked if Tegan wanted her or her grandad to walk her down the aisle but she refused both. I think if it couldn’t be Simon she didn’t want it to be anyone, so she was walking alone. I hated that thought but I knew when she left that ceremony room it would be with me.

I watched the room fill up with people that were smiling a little too much at me. It was one of those
eek
smiles, like I didn’t understand how much of a big deal it was to get married.

My mum was the last person to sit down, because she’d been talking to everyone about how happy she was, and she was already crying. I expected tears but I thought she’d at least be able to hold off until we were saying our
vows.

An acoustic version of
Wherever You Will Go
started playing and I knew this was it. I was so ready to make her Tegan Zoe Chambers it was unreal.

Elle, Carly and
Ava walked down the aisle, one after the other and all looked stunning in full-length chocolate brown dresses with wild orange and white flowers. I took a deep breath as Ava reached the point that meant the next person had to walk. The next person was my fiancée.

Tegan walked through the door and I felt like I’d be
en hit in the gut by a sledgehammer. She was everything I wanted. Every imperfect part of her was perfect to me. Her dress was all lace and strapless with a matching chocolate brown sash around her waist. Her hair, hair that I loved tickling my thighs and chest, was curled loosely down her back.

She walked towards me, green eyes glowing and never leaving mine. The hand that didn’t hold her
flowers was wrapped around the necklace her dad gave her for her sixteenth birthday.

I was so proud of her I could’ve fucking cried. I felt my throat tighten and cursed Mum for her overemotional genes.
She smiled wider the closer she got to me and I wasn’t sure if she was amused that I was gawping at her like an idiot or if she was just as happy as I was. It was likely to be both.

She reached me and I felt like
asking her to go back and walk again, I needed a minute. “Fancy seeing you here,” she whispered.

Fuck rules, I kissed her.

The registrar cleared her throat and when I pulled back she kicked off the ceremony. We’d chosen to stick with the words provided – and when I said
we
I meant
she
– because after telling her how I felt through karaoke she didn’t trust me not to embarrass her again. Smart girl. She’d also vetted my speech.

The ceremony seemed to take no time at all. We had no extras, no songs or readings, so in less than twenty minutes we were married
and I was kissing my wife. Tegan put her hand on my chest to push me away and copped a feel at the same time.
That’s my wife!

I tucked her under my arm as the registrar announced we were Mr and Mrs Chambers and the applause lasted until we’d left the room.
Nothing had ever felt as good as when she was announced as my wife. I felt safe, happy and secure. As long as I had her we’d be fine. Whatever the world lobbed at us we’d get through it together.

“What do we do now?” I asked, kissing her. I knew we had to have a million photos taken before we got fed but I wasn’t sure where all that was happening and where we needed to be. All I wanted was to go to our room and peel that white dress off her.

“Gardens for drinks and photos,” she replied, leaning into me. “I could really do with a drink right now.”

“Drowning your sorrows already
, baby?” I asked, tightening my arms around her.

Biting her lip, she nodded. “Mmm hmm.”

I was about to kiss her again but people wanted to fucking congratulate us. It felt like an eternity before we got any time alone again. After photos we talked to our guests and then we were called for dinner. But as everyone chatted among themselves I managed to throw my arm over her chair and speak to her in private.

“I want to get married again,” she said.
She looked so happy it made my heart ache.

“Can you at least wait until this one is over?”

She pouted. “I’m not sure, I loved marrying you.”

“Are you getting all mushy on me?”

“I think so. Payback for your romantic proposal,” she replied against my lips, making my dick stand to attention. “Do you have a problem with that?”

“Not as long as you still want me to do all those things to you that makes you scream
and turns you into a nympho.”

Her eyes blistered. “I’ll always want you to do that.”

“Good, then you can say whatever the hell you want.”

She smiled. “I love you, Kai.”

“Back atcha, princess.”

“This should wrap up in about ten
minutes, want to spend the two hours between now and the evening making me scream?”

I cleared my throat. “You’re sitting on my lap and I’m doing that thing with my
fingers.”

Raising her eyebrow, she replied,
“Oh, I know you are.”