Save Me (30 page)

Chapter F
ifty-Two

Tegan

I found Mum and Ava in the kitchen whispering to each other. They stopped as soon as they saw me.
Wow, not at all obvious.

“Hi, honey, did you have a nice time?” she asked. She was hiding something. “Another water fight?” Her eyes scanned over my damp hair.

I twirled a damp lock around my finger. “Uh, yeah.” Sort of anyway. “So, what’s going on?” They exchanged a look and I could tell they were seconds from trying to convince me nothing was happening. “I’m not an idiot so please just spit it out.”

“Nothing’s going on. We spoke to Emily today and apparently Lucas isn’t doing so
well,” she said. Not doing so well. It was his fucking fault! “He’s been out racing a lot and…” She stopped talking. Why? “And he misses you.”

No way was that it. There was more to it.
She wasn’t just going to say he missed me. Screwing around with girls was probably more like it. Not that I could say much after tonight, though.

“Tegan, are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”
Ava asked.

“No
, thanks. I’m gonna go to bed. Night,” I said and walked out of the room.

I m
issed Lucas but I wasn’t going to mope around. He wouldn’t have ended it if he didn’t want to, no matter what crap he spouted to not make himself look like the bad guy. I’d have preferred him to just tell me he wasn’t into us anymore.

The thought of him with another girl
, or girls, hurt but I’d have to deal with that. It wasn’t as if I’d pledged my allegiance to the celibacy club either. I didn’t feel guilty for what happened with Kai. I was single. Fuck Lucas Daniels.

I stripped, threw on the closest pyjamas and got into bed. My phone rang just as I’d settled down and wrapped the quilt around myself.

“Hey, princess, you left your bra here,” Kai said.

I laughed and rolled my closed
eyes. “Yeah, I left it for you.”

“Kinky.
You sound tired, I’ll go and speak to you tomorrow.”

Seriously, he called just to say that? “K, bye,
Kai,” I mumbled and laughed. “That rhymed. Your name rhymes with bye. Okay, yeah, I really need sleep. Night.” I hung up to the sound of him laughing and felt myself drifting as soon as I shut my eyes.

I woke up at eight and rolled over expecting Lucas to be there but, of course, he wasn’t. I needed to get over him soon because missing him was a bitch.

After showering and shoving the rest of my things in my bag, I
left the house. I was on my way to visit Dad before my camping trip with Kai and his family.

School was over for the summer holidays, I’d managed to catch up but next year was my final year so I had to keep my head down and not miss any time. I was going to use the summer to hopefully get myself straight so boy drama didn’t interfere with my A levels.
School still wasn’t something I enjoyed. I’d done a good job of alienating most people so I kept to myself a lot but that was fine by me.

Mum and Ava were still in bed and I w
as meeting them for breakfast and then heading to Kai’s.

“Hey, Dad
,” I whispered as I sat down facing his headstone. I still felt like I was drowning somewhat but it was getting easier every time I came.

“So
, I’m going camping today. I know you’re probably laughing right now.” I realised I was smiling, not something I did here all that much. “I didn’t think I’d ever go either but Kai needs someone right now and I know how that feels.”

Dad would be laughing
about me sleeping in the great outdoors, making jokes and telling me horror stories.

“I miss you so much
, Dad. I hate it at home without you. It’s too quiet. I wish I hadn’t gone to bed early that night.” I took a deep breath, swallowing razor blades. I didn’t want to cry here all the time. I needed to change the subject. “I called Lucas again a while ago. It did
not
go well. I’m doing what you would’ve told me to do and moving on. Maybe we can be friends one day if we can speak for longer than five minutes without arguing. I kinda miss talking to him, so I hope we can sort things out.”

I continued talking to Dad for almost
half an hour. It felt nice to be able to talk to him again. It wasn’t the same and it would never fill the void, but I felt close to him again and not just because I was physically close to where his body rested.

“I have to go
now. Mum’s taking me and Ava for a late breakfast before I go and you know how much she’ll moan if I’m late.” I stood up and cautiously put my hand on his headstone. It was cold and sent a chill down my spine. I pulled back quickly and gulped.

Don’t think about it.

“Sorry, Dad,” I mumbled, embarrassed by my reaction. “I love you and I’ll come back soon… If I make it out of the forest alive,” I said, laughing to myself, knowing he would’ve laughed with me. He might’ve even thrown in a wolf attack statistic for good measure, too.

Mum and Ava were waiting in the car when I arrived home. That was never a good sign. I got in the car and grimaced. “Sorry I’m late.”
Sorry I’m late.
Wow, it had been a very long time since I’d apologised for being late.

Mum visibly relaxed. “Everything okay? You talk
ed about everything you needed to?” she asked, looking at me through the mirror.

“Yeah. It was…good.” I didn’t really know how else to describe it. It wasn’t really ‘good’ but it wasn’t as heart wrenchingly painful as it was when we first buried him.

“That’s great, sweetheart.”

“I’m proud of ya,” Ava said. “I’m seeing more
and more of my annoying little sister every day.”

“Thanks,” I replied sarcastically.
Honestly, I was, too. It was nice to feel more like myself.

She laughed. “I’m kidding. It feels good to be… I don’t know, normal isn’t the right word.”

“It’s okay, I think I know what you mean.”

“We
ll, you two ready for breakfast then?” Mum asked, already backing the car out of the drive. She had a tear in her eye but it wasn’t a sad one. She was happy. I was sort of happy, too, I think. Well, I didn’t feel in the deep end and unable to swim anymore so it was a big improvement.

In the restaurant Mum cleared her throat and set her tea down.
“So, there’s something I want to tell you two.” She looked nervous. I felt sick. Did she have another man? The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I was all ready to freak the fuck out at her and defend Dad.

“What?” I asked, pressing my fisted hands
into my lap.

“I’ve decided to open a boutique, just like I’ve always wanted to.”

Air left my lungs in one big relieved rush.

“Wow
, Mum, that’s amazing,” Ava gushed. “Oh, can I help you pick out the clothes?”

“I know
, I can’t believe I’m finally going to do it! And, yes, you can definitely help. I’ll need you both to help. I want to do something positive with the money your dad left me and I think this is it.”

Dad left us all a lot of money. The guy had
insured himself for a shit load to make sure his family would be okay if anything happened to him.

“So, what do you think, Tegan?” Mum asked, watching me nervously. It was then I realised I hadn’t said anything and looked like a terribly unsupportive daughter. I had no desire to be that ever again.

“I think it’s great, Mum.”

I was happy for her, I really was, but I didn’t want to talk about the money Dad left us. I didn’t even know the exact amount I would get when I turned eighteen. I’d refused to go to the reading of his will. All I knew was that it was a lot. No amount of money could make up for not having him here. Mum squeezed my hand over the table. “Have you found a shop yet? What’re you going to call it?”

“Not yet but I’m viewing some potential places next week. I was thinking of calling it Simon.”

I stared at her blankly. “You’re naming a boutique after Dad?”

“You don’t think it’s a good idea?”
she asked.

I shook my head.
“No, I mean, it’s a nice idea but this is Dad we’re talking about. He hated shopping and if you didn’t buy him new clothes he just wouldn’t get any.”

She thought about it for a minute and eventually nodded
. “You’re right, he hated shopping. Maybe we can come up with a name together?” She looked between me and Ava.

“Ohh
, what about Bliss?” Ava suggested. I rolled my eyes and tried not to laugh. Bliss sounds like a hair salon or spa.

Thankfully
, I got a text message and I pretended to be distracted so I wouldn’t have to respond to Ava’s suggestion.

‘
Princess, found your earring. I love that you’re a freak in the shower!!! ;)’

That
was the third text from him today referring to the shower. In all fairness, it was a
very
good shower. I re-read the text and smiled.

“Hey, what about
Chic Freak?” I said.

They both looked at me. “
I love it.” Ava said and looked at Mum.

“
Chic Freak. Tegan, that’s perfect. You just came up with that?” I nodded. Yeah, I was so taking credit for that one.

Chapter F
ifty-Three

Tegan

After breakfast and many discussions about the shop, we drove to Kai’s. His family were already outside trying to load everything it just two cars. Mum grabbed my bag out of the boot and pulled it along the floor. This summer was going to be great.

“Honey
, you’re not going to need all this stuff,” she said as she dropped it to the floor near Kai’s car.

Kai cocked his dark eyebrow up.
“Err, princess, we’re camping for
two
nights. You sure you need it all?”

“
Yep,” I replied, kissing his cheek. I was going to argue that everyone else brought a crap load of stuff with them but I knew they had food and stuff for the party, as well as all the tents and camping equipment.

Jus
t before we all got in the car Mum pulled me to the side. “You have a good time and I trust you to be careful.” Hugging her was getting easier so I gave her brief one. Earning her trust back wasn’t easy and I knew that she still worried and had doubts but we’d get there. “I’m proud of you, Tegan,” she said, her eyes welling up.

I didn’t feel proud of myself, not yet.
I was still in a place that I didn’t want to be but I could almost see a way forward. I still spent most of my time running away from the things that were hard, and I still had a lot of anger over so many things. “Thanks,” I muttered, not feeling worthy of her pride at all.

“Look after my daughter and make sure she doesn’
t get lost!” Mum said to Kai.

He
laughed and blocked my arm when I tried to slap him. I would not get lost, well, unless everyone else did, too. “I’ll bring her back in perfect condition.”

Me, Carly and Elle were travelling in Kai’s car with the bags of everyone
’s clothes and his parents were taking the rest of the things we needed. The whole way I gossiped with his sisters, much to his annoyance.

I turned in the seat so I could see them in the back as Carly told us about this guy she’d just started seeing.
Kai was interested then. I had a feeling he was an incredibly protective brother, especially after Isaac died.

“What’s his full name, Carly?” Kai asked through gritted teeth after Carly first answered with Alex’s first name only.

“Do you need his full name?” I asked. The dark look he shot me answered my question.

Carly signed. “Alex Jackson. Don’t look him up though, please.”

Kai promised nothing and changed the subject. “You coming fishing tomorrow, Tegan?”

“Boring,” Carly and Elle chanted at the same time.

“Yeah, what they said. I don’t like fish, they’re wet and slimy.”

“You’re weird,” he mumbled under his breath. I glared at him which just made him laugh
. Prick. “You can do the woman bit then, cook and clean.” He held his arm up and was laughing before he’d even finished the sentence, knowing what was coming. I knew I shouldn’t retaliate because that was exactly what he wanted but I couldn’t hold it back. I swatted his arm twice.

We
turned off the main road and headed down a dirty track signposted for the campsite. “So, Isaac loved camping?” I asked. Kai’s mouth kicked up in a small smile at the mention of his younger brother.

Elle was the one to answer. “He loved it. Me, Carly and Kai were always excited for ou
r holiday abroad somewhere hot but Isaac was all about the tents. It’s all he wanted to do for his birthday, every year since he was three. If he didn’t love it so much we wouldn’t be doing it now.”

I felt a bit choked up that they were including me in such an important and personal weekend.

We found a space in the car park and started unloading the many bags from Kai and his parents’ car. There was a lot and I wasn’t sure how we were going to lug them around in one trip.

“Kai, why
don’t you camp here? You know,
in
the campsite.”

I grabbed my bag and looked around for another one that I could carry without it ripping my arm out of the socket. Kai
took my heavy bag out of my hands and gave me two smaller, lighter ones.

“Because it’
s more private, we found it the second year we came. You’ll like it there.” I really doubted that. “Don’t look so scared,” he said with a chuckle as we all walked into the forest. I walked as close to him as possible, trying not to freak out at every noise. I didn’t mind the campsite because there were other people and cars around.

“How far is it?” I asked.

“Come on, princess, how can you love all those horror films but be scared of the forest?” he said sarcastically.

“Um, maybe because I’m not
 
in
 those horror films.”

Mel
anie put her free arm around me. “It’s really okay here. I was scared the first couple days, too, but it’s perfectly safe,” she said and frowned at her son who was laughing again.

Kai gasped
. “Did you hear that?”

I pushed him
. “Okay, go away!”

He walked ahead with his dad, laughing his
arse off. We finally reached a clearing and I had to admit it was really pretty. The river was clear, too, not that I was going in it. Thankfully, it was only three minutes from the public toilets.

We set up the tents near the trees and Kai’s dad collected
wood to make a fire. I was sharing a tent with Kai. Elle and Carly had a small one each and Kai’s parents had the biggest one with two separate rooms. On Isaac’s birthday tomorrow Melanie’s parents were coming, too, and apparently, ended up sleeping over.

The fire that
Jason had lit seemed entirely too close to their tent but no one said anything and they had more experience than me so I kept quiet. Kai chucked our bags in our tent – literally – and wiggled his eyebrows. I wasn’t sure if he was joking about us getting down to it or not, but something stirred inside me that had me breathing quicker and biting down on my lip.

I texted Mum to tell her I hadn’t gotten lost – yet – and that I was turning my phone off so the battery wouldn’t die but I’d check in again later tonight.

“Get some water boiling,
Jason, I need a cuppa,” Melanie said, unpacking a saucepan and stackable camping mugs.

I loved the dynamic of their family, loved how close they were and that they genuinely enjoyed spending time together. That used to be my family.

Kai shook his head and opened a beer from the cooler, passing one to me, too. “Come on, Mum.”

“It’s too early for me, I’m getting on a bit now.”

He shrugged and then threw his arm over my shoulders. “Well, that’s true.”

I sank into his side and sipped my beer, loving camping so far. Although that could purely be because it hadn’t rained yet.

After dinner, which was a BBQ, we sat around the fire, wrapped in blankets and roasting marshmallows. It was actually pretty perfect. “So, you okay now?” Kai whispered in my ear and wrapped his arm around my waist.

I looked over my shoulder and rolled my eyes. “I’m fine, no bears
yet.”

He smiled and I got lost in the orange flames reflecting off his dark eyes. He was gorgeous, no doubt about that, and had such a good heart. Kai was someone that
you could spend a solid eighty years with and still not get bored.

Just after
eleven at night we all decided to go to bed. Isaac’s birthday was hanging over everyone and even though they were all about celebrating his life it was plain to see that they still found it hard to stay so positive.

I followed Kai into our tent and we kicked our bags down near the opening. The temperature had dropped dramatically and it was cold inside the tent. I stripped down to my underwear and stole Kai’s t-shirt.

Screw freezing to death, I pushed Kai over and got inside his sleeping bag, too. He had a double but it was a small double so we were packed in pretty tight. That was fine by me though, I didn’t mind being squashed up against his toned and tattooed body.

We laid down and the rain started coming down heavy, hammering on the top of the tent. Well, at least the sky waited until we were inside before it peed down.

Sighing, he wrapped his arms around me, letting one slip up the back of the shirt. His fingers trailed over my skin, giving me goose bumps and making me hot and achy. I felt every feather light touch right where I wanted to feel it and couldn’t stifle a moan as his fingers glided just above the top of my thong.

His breathing became heavier and his w
andering hands crept around the front. I almost combusted when he rubbed me through the thin material. His lips found mine just in time to muffle my moan. I arched into him and trailed my hand over his defined chest.

I wasn’t sure what made him snap but his hand left where I wanted it the most and he rolled on top of me, ripping my thong off. He didn’t even bother taking his boxers
all the way off and to be honest, it was awkward in the sleeping bag and would just take too long anyway.

He sealed his lips over mine in a hot and heavy kiss that made my toes curl and heels dig into his backside in a bid to get him to enter me quicker. Thrusting forwards he entered me sharply and the days pent up sexual tension burst in a frenzy of desperate sex that wasn’t at all sweet and romantic but was exactly what we both needed.

I clamped around him and fisted his hair, tugging hard.

My moans were rolling into one as I lost control. All I could focus on was how incredible his skin felt against mine.
“Fuck,” he growled against my mouth and thrust faster until all I could do was hold on. I shattered around him, crying out shamelessly.

I bit down on his lip as wave after wave took me somewhere I’d never been before. This time was different. Something was different and nothing had ever felt so good before.

Groaning, he thrust hard once more and then stilled, pouring into me and kissing me like it was the last time he’d ever be able to kiss anyone again.

I fell asleep shortly after he curled me up in his arms again and planted the softest kiss on my forehead.