Sati (18 page)

She stared out to sea.' My meeting will be soon.'

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'Damn your meeting! I'm talking about Timmy. He's your friend.'

'My friends will be at the meeting. All are equally dear to me.'

I fought to control myself.' You won't come?'

Something far away seemed to hold her attention.' Tonight,I will be there for Timmy,'she said softly.

'What if he dies before you get there?'I asked.

'He won't.'

'But what if he does?'

'Then it's inevitable.'

'Sati,'I began, about to say something unkind. But then she looked at me, her blue eyes as calm as when she had looked across the table in the diner and told me she wasn't an actress. The words died in my throat. I turned and stalked off.

Acab tookme back to the hospital. Mary, Fred and Linda were now present, along with Nick and Mrs Hutchinson. Nick said Timmy was awake, but that the nurse had asked them to wait outside while the doctor finished another examination. Nick carried a brown bag; presumably it held Sati's presents. I explained what Sati had told me. Linda was the only one who acted disgusted.

'She has a lot of nerve,'she fumed.

'If she promised to be here later, what's the problem?'Fred asked.' That means Timmy won't die until later."

Linda glared at him.' I wouldn't count on it, kid.'

I tried the number in Nebraska again, without success. The doctor finished his examination. His grim prognosis did not change. When he saw how many of us were waiting to visit with Timmy, he reminded us about the restrictions concerning intensive care patients.

'Look, why keep him hooked up to all that equipment?'I asked.' Move him to another room where he can visit with his friends and be happy with the time he has left.'

'That would be against hospital procedure,'the doctor said.

'Screw the procedure,'Nick growled.

Without blinking, the doctor replied,'I say the same to myself several times a day. I'll see what can be done.'

The time for Sati's meeting approached. Fred and Mrs Hutchinson felt they should attend. The rest of us sat down for what was turning out to be an endless succession of waits. Linda stayed close to me, biting her nails.

'Ileft Jenny with Dick,'she said.'I told her Timmy was sick.'

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'How did she take it?'I asked.

'She tried to reassure me. "If he dies," she said," Satiwill take him to heaven where he can be with the angels for ever." Imagine, that was our daughter speaking.'

The doctor did not return, but a nurse came by. In order for Timmy to be moved to an ordinary room, she informed us, he would have to be discharged and then readmitted. She mumbled something about insurance and lawsuits. Already worn out from all the red tape, Nick and I trudged downstairs and filled out the same forms we had filled out that morning. The phone in the Midwest continued to ring without an answer.

Close to ten, Nick and I were erttering the elevator to go back upstairs when Sati called for us to hold the door. She was flanked by Fred, Mrs Hutchinson and David. She had ona beautiful blue silk dress Mary had sewn especially for her meetings. In her arms was a huge bouquet of flowers. She looked positively radiant.

'I didn't think you'd make it,'I said, relieved.

She crowded in with the others, her shoulder pressing against me.' I thought I would,'she said.

In the waiting room, Mary and Linda had good news. The nurse had informed them Timmy had been moved to room 707-We could now talk to him as much as we wanted.

Timmy was propped up in bed when we entered. He looked better than he had in the morning, but perhaps it was from the joy of seeing his friends. His breathing and colour were just as awful. Strangely enough, Sati stayed in the background while the rest of us joked with him. He kept his attention on whichever of us was talking, without even glancing her way. I understood. It was enough for him that she had come. Only once did he interrupt, to ask if I'd reached his mom. There was a phone next to his bed.

I tried the number once more, but without luck.

'They'll be home soon,'I told him.

Sometime in the midst of our visit, Timmy began to cough, and couldn't stop. Each time he sucked in the air,it bounced back out. We began to panic. I moved to call for a nurse when Sati - without a sign of haste - stepped to the sink and got him a glass of water. He was struggling so much he couldn't hold the cup without spilling. She lifted the water to his lips.

'A sip,'she said.' Come on.'

He managed to take a drink. His fit lasted a while longer before it finally subsided. I had never understood what it meant to die of pneumonia. Essentially he was slowly drowning. I realised I was drenched with sweat. Sati sat beside Timmy on the bed and shook her head.

'What am I going to do with you?'she asked.

'Heal me,'he said, kidding.

'Is that what you want?'she asked.

The question embarrassed him. He changed the subject 'Igot you something,'he said.

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'That's what I hear. I adore presents.'

'Nick?'he said. Nick carefully set the bag on Timmy's lap.' This first gift isn't really for you, Sati,' he went on, sticking his hand in the bag.

'Who's it for?'she asked.

'Me.'He took out a book. It was the King James Version of the Bible. He let everyone see it, pleased at our con-fusion. He had his punch line ready.' I always said I wouldn't read the Bible until I got an autographed copy,'he explained.

We enjoyed a good laugh. David brought forth a pen and Sati did the honours, simply writing her four-letter name on the inside cover. She had fine penmanship.

The next gift - and Timmy assured her this one was for her - was black lace lingerie. Even Sati waited for an expla-nation this time. Our patient didn't keep her in suspense.'Y ou're the first woman I ever met that I found attractive.'He added shyly,'I think you'd look pretty in these.'

Sati smiled and held the sheer material up to her chest.' You flatter me,'she said.

Timmy beamed.' Thanks for coming.'

She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the lips.'T hanks for waiting for me.'

He cleared his throat and briefly closed his eyes. His energy was beginning to ebb.' I know you don't like to talk about lives other than the one we're living now,'he said.' But I've always believed in reincarnation. It's always made sense to me. Could there be something to it?'

'Could be,'she said.

He spoke seriously.' If I do come back, will I be gay again? Will I still want men instead of women?'

Sati's eyes strayed to Mary, then back to Timmy.' If you were a beautiful girl,'she said,' you could love all the boys, and no one would say boo to you.'

The answer satisfied him.' I would like to live again,'he whispered, sinking deeper into his pillows.'

There's a lot of things I'd like... '

He didn't finish. He didn't start on another coughing fit, either. All of a sudden, he simply didn't have the air for words. Sati rolled him on his side so that he faced her, and calmly watched while the rest of us slowly freaked out. The raspy sound coming out his parched lips reminded me of die rattling of bones.

There was death in the room. I could smell it as well as hear it.

As the seconds of struggle turned to minutes of torture, several in the room obviously began to feel it was time for Sati to shine forth her light. Fred and Mrs Hutchinson kept exchanging frantic glances. But Sati continued to sit patiently, while Timmy smothered in her hands.

'I'm calling for help,'I said finally, unable to take it any longer. I reached for the red button beside the bed. Fred leapt in my way.

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'What are you doing?'he cried."T he doctors can't do anything for him!'

'I'll get someone myself, Mike,'Linda said.

It was Mrs Hutchinson's turn. She blocked Linda's path.' They've already told us they can't help him,'the old woman said.

'Get out of my way!'Linda ordered.

'No!'Mrs Hutchinson said, her whole body quivering.

'What's wrong with you two?'I demanded,still trying to get past Fred.' Can't you see he needs oxygen?'

'He needs more than oxygen,'Fred said.

'For Christ's sake,'Linda swore, unable to believe a seventy-year-old woman was physically trying to stop her. Any second, I thought, one of us was going to have to use some muscle.

'You're not bringing those people in here,'Mrs Hutchin-son said.

'Fred,'I began.

'No, Mike,'Fred said, vigorously shaking his head.

'Nick,'I said.

Linda threw up her arms, exasperated.'D ammit, what do you people want?'

Nick answered in a soft voice.' A miracle.'

The hostilities ceased. All eyes went to Sati. And we waited, as all men had waited, throughout time, when they were hoping for divine intervention. Even Timmy, who was having a bad time of it, watched her. Sati let her gaze slip over each of us.

'Is this what you want?'she asked finally.

'What are you saying?'I asked.

'Do you want me to heal him?'Sati asked.

'Yeah!'Fred said.' Yeah!'

'Mary?'Sati said.

'I have faith in you,'Mary said.

Sati looked to Nick.' Definitely,'he said.

Mrs Hutchinson hurried to her side and grabbed her hands, going down on her knees.' Do what you can for him, Sati. He's only a young man. He's been like a son to me.'

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'David?'she asked.

As Sati had done in the beginning, David had con-tinued to do. He remained in the background, saying little. Now he appeared to want to get even further away. He pressed his back to the far wall.

'Yes, help him,'he muttered.' If you can.'

'Linda?'Sati asked.

Linda stood frozen.'Y ou can't help him,'she whispered.

'I can do anything.'

Linda stared at suffering Timmy. She nodded.

'Then do it.'

'Michael?'Sati asked.

She had often spoken of the limitation of our words, even our thoughts. And it was true I could find nothing inside me that could understand what she could do for Timmy. Yet suddenly Casey Barbers was forgotten. In that instant, many bizarre things seemed possible.' Do whatever you think is best,'I said.

She accepted my response and turned at last to Timmy. She brushed her hand across his forehead.

From the moment she had made her offer, his breathing had eased somewhat The ghastly colour of his skin, however, had not improved.

'What do you think is best, Timothy?'she asked.

'You could help me breathe?'he gasped.

'Icould have you walk out of this hospital, and never be sick another day in your life.'

'Really?'

'Yes.'

He coughed, nodding.' I know.'

She continued to run her fingers through his hair.' Whatever you ask of me, I will do for you,'she said.

'But you didn't want to perform any miracles. You said...' He coughed again, and again.' You said that wasn't why you had come.'

'I did say that,'Sati agreed.

He strained for several seconds over what was being offered. Then he relaxed and shook his head.' I don't want to have anyone say you went back on your word. I don't want to take advantage of you.'

'Let her help you!'Mrs Hutchinson pleaded.

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Sati repeated herself.' Anything you ask, Timothy.'

He looked long in her face. Finally he smiled.' I wanted to see my mother again. That's all I really wanted

.'He leaned back and closed his eyes.' You don't have to heal me.'

'Timmy!'I cried.

His expression was dreamy, far away.'I t's all right now, Mike. I'm not afraid. I want to go on. I'm actually looking forward to it.'

'Leave us alone,'Sati said.

We did as we were told.

Out in the hallway, I found a pay phone. I dialled the number in Nebraska once more. I finally struck gold. An elderly lady picked up the phone.' Hello?'she said.

'Hi. Is this Mrs Pinton?'

'Who is this?'

'I'm a friend of your son. My name's Michael Winters.'

She was suspicious.' What do you want?'

'Your son is in the hospital. He could die any minute. He wants to talk to you.'

'Who are you? Is this a crank call?'

'I told you who I am. This is real. Please, talk to him. He's your own son, for God's sake.'

Mrs Pinton paused.'I s Timothy really dying?'

'Yes.'

She had to think some more.'I'lltalk to him,'she said finally.

'Good. I'm not in his room, but it's only round the corner. I'll call you from there in a moment. Don't go away.'

Excited, I ran back towards 707, passing the others, who were gathered in a silent group near the door.

I had my hand on the knob when Saticame out.

'I've found his mom,'I shouted.' Let me by.'

Her blue eyes were clear and steady. As always.' He's dead,'she said.

'What?'

'He's dead,'she repeated. She turned to David.' Do you want to take me home?'

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David backed up a step, shaken by the news.' No. I should stay. The hospital will have to be paid.'

Sati nodded, unconcerned, holding a single rose from the bouquet of flowers she had brought with her.'

You take me, Fred,'she said.

Fred's eyes swelled with tears.' Why did you let him die?'

'All who are born, die,'she said.' It is the way of things. Timothy's death is no reason for grief."

'But he never got to speak to his mother,'I complained.

Sati gave me her flower.' Yes, he did, Michael.'

Then she walked away, leaving us in grief it seemed we had every reason in the world to feel.