Sarah's Child (11 page)

The best thing about the apartment to her way of thinking was the building manager, who lived on the bottom floor. Marcie Taliferro was a thirty-two-year-old divorcee, a freelance writer as well as building manager, and she had the most fantastic fifteen-year-old son Sarah had ever seen. Derek Taliferro already stood six feet tall, and was a hard and lean hundred and seventy pounds, and not only was he shaving every other day, he really needed to, which was mind-boggling. His voice was a smooth, deep baritone, and he had inherited his fathers classic Italian looks, from the dark curls on his head to his imperious Roman nose. He worked after school at a small grocery store and helped his mother around the condo, as well as being at the top of his class in school. Rome had yet to meet Derek the Wonder, as even Marcie called him, with a little awe in her voice as if she couldnt believe shed really mothered that perfect specimen. Derek was saving his money to go to college, but from what Marcie had said, hed still be a long way short, and unless he was lucky enough to get a scholarship, he was going to have a long, hard haul getting through college. Sarah didnt know if Rome had any strings to pull with any colleges, but if there was ever a kid who deserved a break, it was Derek Taliferro.

Marcie was a friendly, commonsense type of person; a little short, a little plump, but the plumpness was mostly muscle. She had red hair, and freckles dashed across her nose, but she lacked the temper that was usually associated with red hair. She tackled every job with a casual manner that made it seem much easier than it really was; shed helped Sarah move their furniture in and arrange it, since Rome had left that Monday morning on a business trip and hadnt returned until Thursday night.

Sarah eyed him covertly as the judge ran through the ceremony. He was dressed in a dark blue suit, with an impeccable pale blue pinstripe shirt, a discreet tie of navy and burgundy silk, and a burgundy silk handkerchief peeking out of his breast pocket, the splash of color looking smashing with his dark coloring. Suddenly she found it a little difficult to breathe, and her heart began racing in anticipation of the night to come. Theyd found the opportunity to make love only three times, as a spate of trips had taken him away several times, and her own natural functions had displayed the worlds worst timing. She wanted him, and her body felt weak and warm.

He was tense, his arm rigid where her fingers lay lightly in the crook of his elbow. His deep voice was strained, and his hand shook when he slipped the plain gold band on her finger. As soon as the ring was on, Sarah closed her fingers into a fist, as if she could anchor it to her flesh. Then he was brushing her lips with a light kiss, and it was over. He drew back, his hand locking with hers, and he gave her a smile that merely twitched at the comers of his mouth, then faded.

Everyone came up to shake their hands and congratulate them. Max was the last of all; he shook Romes hand, then framed Sarahs face in his palms and said softly, My word, youre lovely! Are you so happy, then?

Yes, of course, she whispered, and lifted her face for his kiss, his mouth barely touching hers in the lightest of caresses.

Damn it, Max, Rome said impatiently. Why does it seem that you kiss her more than I do?

Maybe Im just smarter than you are, Max returned, grinning.

Sarah clung to Romes hand, wondering if he thought she looked good. Several people other than Max had commented on her glowing looks, and she knew that it was due as much to the new makeup job she had as it was to her happiness. Shed gone to a hairstyling and makeup salon, and the makeup artist had showed her some new delicate translucent shades that gave her color without being too harsh. Her eyes were made up only slightly darker than usual, but that small difference was a gigantic one. Her Egyptian eyes were more exotic, her lashes feathered, while shadows and secrets lurked in the green depths. Apricot color dusted her cheekbones, and her mouth had a soft, lush quality to it. That wasnt lipstick; that was the way she felt. Beneath the pale rose silk dress she wore, her body was quivering, aching, needing him.

But not yet. Reservations had been made at a swank restaurant, and everyone went along. Lobster and champagne seemed the perfect feast, but Sarah was so nervous that she scarcely noted the snow-white meat of the lobster or the sparkling champagne that slipped down her throat. She wasnt aware that she was getting tipsy until she turned her head to say something to Rome and the room suddenly dipped. She blinked, surprised.

For the first time that entire evening Rome grinned, his dark face lighting as his teeth flashed whitely. Were two glasses of champagne too much for you?

You let me drink two glasses? she asked weakly, clinging to the edge of the table. Rome, I wasnt joking about my alcohol tolerance. I wont be able to walk out of here!

We were just married; everyone will think its romantic if I carry you out, he said calmly.

Not if Im waving the tablecloth like a flag and singing Highland ballads at the top of my lungs, she predicted darkly. He chuckled but moved the champagne glass away from her plate and signaled the waiter. Shortly thereafter a glass of milk appeared by her side, and she sipped it gratefully. Everyone at the table groaned and predicted dire results from the mixing of champagne and milk, but Sarah knew a lifesaver when she saw one, and she wasnt about to turn it down. Even with the milk slowing the rate at which the alcohol was absorbed into her bloodstream, she knew she wouldnt be steady on her feet when they left the restaurant.

She wasnt; Romes arm was clamped around her waist like a vise as he helped her to his car. He settled her in the seat and walked around to get behind the wheel, calling out goodbyes and acknowledgments to all the best wishes their friends were giving them. After he closed the car door, he sat for a moment, fiddling with the key ring in his hand. Finally he put the key in the ignition and turned to look at Sarah, who was lying back in the seat with her eyes half-closed and an intriguing smile on her lips. The streetlight caught her eyes, making them sparkle like moon dust. She was so soft and feminine, and her subtle perfume rose to his nostrils, tempting him to search it out all along her satiny skin. She was his wife now, a legally intimate partner his wife!

He almost groaned aloud, thinking of another wedding, and Dianes radiant face as she came down the aisle to him, the hunger in the kiss hed given her at the end of the ceremony. His wife! Diane had been his wife, and hed never thought another woman would occupy that position, bear that title. Until the ceremony had begun, he hadnt had any doubts about this second marriage, but when the familiar, haunting words reached his ears, hed broken out in a cold sweat. He didnt, couldnt, regret marrying Sarah, but suddenly the memory of Diane was haunting him. Diane was gone from him now, really gone. He couldnt call her his wife now, because by the grace of the laws of Texas and the United States, and his own determination, the woman at his side was now his wife.

Sarah Matthews. He said the name in his mind, imprinting it there. Sarah Matthews, his wife. Pale, elegant Sarah, always so distant, but now she was his. He knew that no other woman should be in his mind tonight, but he couldnt stop thinking about Diane, couldnt stop comparing her to Sarah. Diane had been so much more forceful than Sarah, capable of standing up to him and arguing with him toe-to-toe, chin-to-chin, then kissing him with all the fervor of her fiery nature. Shed glowed with color, her skin taking on the gold of the sun, her head full of bright gold-brown curls, her eyes as blue as the midsummer sky. Diane had been the sun, warm, shining, while Sarah was the moon, pale and cold and aloof. Sarah what was it about her that made her so mysterious? Her veiled, shadowy eyes? Had he ever wanted anyone before the way he wanted Sarah? Her mysteries only lured him on, making him want to solve them.

But when he walked Sarah to their new apartment, on this first night theyd both be spending there, he knew he couldnt make love to her. All week hed been thinking about her, wanting her, feeling her soft flesh beneath him, but now he realized he simply couldnt do it. The grief that had faded to the background in the past weeks now sprang to life again, as fresh and bitter as it had ever been. He had to say good-bye to Diane.

When the door closed behind them, Sarah turned into his arms, swaying against him, her arms going around his neck. He kissed her lightly, hating the stiffness of his body; then he took her arms down and put her away from him. Let me take a look at this place, he stalled. I havent seen it since you put the furniture in it; it really looks great!

He moved through the apartment, and Sarah weaved after him, confused by the way hed turned away from her embrace. She swayed, then leaned down and took her shoes off, feeling much steadier in her bare feet than she had tottering on three-inch heels. Rome gave his approval to the decor, then seemed to run out of words. He sighed, running his hands through his hair. Finally reaching a decision, he came back to her and put his arm around her waist again, steadying her as he took her to the door of her bedroom. Despite his need to be alone, the fact that this room was off-limits to him without an invitation still angered him. He opened the door and reached in to turn on the light, then put both of his hands on her shoulders.

Im sorry, he said in a low, raw voice. Things have really hit me hard tonight, and I cantI have to be alone tonight. Im sorry, he said again, waiting for her reaction.

There wasnt one. She simply looked up at him, seeming smaller than usual because she was barefoot, no expression at all now in the exotic eyes that had been sparkling only a few moments before. She said good night and stepped back, closing the door before he could say anything else, if indeed any other words would come to mind. He was left staring at the blank wood of the door, and he stood there, his broad shoulders slumping in defeat, painful memories winging through his mind for several long minutes before he turned and went to his own room.

He went to bed, but he couldnt sleep. The years hed spent with Diane ran through his minds eye like home movies, reacquainting him with every nuance of expression that had crossed her expressive face, the plans theyd made during her pregnancies, the bone-deep pride and adoration hed felt when hed taken his infant sons in his arms for the first time. Scalding tears burned the back of his eyes, but never fell. His sons. Justin. Shane.

The pain of losing them was so great that he tried never to think of them; it was something he still couldnt handle. Theyd been a part of him. Hed felt each of them growing inside Diane; hed been there when they were born, been the first to hold them. Justins first wavering steps had been into his waiting arms. He remembered the two A.M. feedings, the lusty, grunting sounds as the infant mouths took the bottle. He remembered Justins two-year-old perplexity when a new baby entered his world and took so much of Dianes time, but soon the toddler had become devoted to the infant Shane, and the two boys had been inseparable since then.

He remembered their laughter, their innocence, their fearless exploration of the world, and the boisterous way theyd always greeted him when he came home.

Putting them in their graves had been the hardest thing hed ever done.

Dear God, it shouldnt have been allowed to happen. A parent should never have to bury a child.

He couldnt think of a day when the sun had shone since then.

His head was pounding with a sudden fierce headache, and he pressed his fingertips to his temples. He wanted to scream his pain aloud, but he ground his teeth and soon the torment abated. Exhausted, he closed his eyes and slept.

In her bedroom, lying in the empty expanse of her bed, Sarah didnt sleep. She lay very still, feeling the effects of the champagne in the way the room seemed to whirl slowly around her, but it wasnt because of the champagne that she lay so motionless. She was filled with such pain that she felt as if she would crystallize if she tried to move.

She should have known, should have realized, how the ceremony would affect him, but she hadnt until shed seen the hell in his eyes. Rather than celebrating their marriage, hed been regretting it, because she wasnt the one woman he loved.

Had she been a fool to think she could ever earn his love? Did he even have any more love to give, or had it all gone to the grave with Diane? There was no way of knowing, and shed made her decision when shed agreed to marry him. Whatever he could give, she wanted it.

Whatever it cost her, she had to keep him from seeing how she was hurt; she didnt want to add to his pain by making him feel guilty. Shed carry on as normal, as if this were the way every couple began their marriage. She didnt think hed try to probe too deeply if she put on a nonchalant facade, but rather that he would accept it with relief. All she had to do was get through the weekend; then he would go back to work and she could begin seriously looking for work, or decide if she really wanted to start a small business for herself.

Her weary mind seized on the subject with relief, wanting something, anything, to prevent her from thinking about Rome. There were really no plans she could make concerning him; shed just have to take each moment as it came. So she put him out of her mind and tried to decide what sort of business would hold her interest, because she wanted something that she liked as well as something to take up her time. She made a mental list of all her hobbies and interests, and several possibilities sprang to mind. She turned the ideas over and over, until at last sleep claimed her.

She woke early, the strangeness of her surroundings hav-ing prevented deep sleep. Her bedside clock told her it was six thirty. She got up and showered, then pulled on her nightgown again and a robe as well, as she didnt feel like dressing, and the early autumn temperature had taken a surprisingly sharp dip overnight. It had been so balmy the day before that shed used the air-conditioning in her car, but now, with typical Texas unpredictability, the weather was distinctly chilly. She went straight to the thermostat and flipped it over to HEAT, and in a moment the comforting pop and crackle of the furnace told her shed soon have the apartment comfortable.