Sarah's Child (9 page)

She stepped back from him and looked at his hard dark face, the face that had lived in her dreams for years. She thought only briefly of her dream of raising a houseful of children, his children, then gently told her dream goodbye. Those children lived, after all, only in her dreams, while Rome was very real, and if she turned him down now, heaven might slip forever out of her grasp. So he didnt love her; he cared for her, respected her, enough to want to make their relationship legal. Miracles did sometimes happen, and as long as they lived, there was always the chance that he would grow to love her. But even if he never offered her his heart, he was offering her all that he could. She might turn him down, out of pride, but pride wouldnt replace the living warmth of the man. Pride wouldnt make love to her with the swift hard passion hed shown her the night before. With a womans intuitive wisdom, she knew that, so long as he desired her so strongly, she had a chance of warming his wintry heart again.

Yes, she said calmly. Now what?

Her brief matter-of-fact acceptance didnt shift him off balancehis only reaction was a deep intake of breath that swelled his chestthen he pulled her against him again. What Id like to do is strip you naked and take you on the nearest flat surface I can find

Sarah interrupted, groaning. The floor again, she protested teasingly.

Or the table. Or the cabinet top. The powerful reaction of his body told her that, while his words were teasing, his body was serious. Sarah held her breath, wondering if her already stiff muscles could survive an amorous encounter on the hard tile of the kitchen floor. Clasped against him as she was, she couldnt see his face, or shed have cried out at the passion etched on his features.

Rome held her tightly to him, wanting to absorb her into his flesh. The relief that had flooded through him at her casual acceptance of his proposal was so great that hed felt almost faint; then hed been seized by the primeval desire to finalize their bargain in the most basic way possible. He wanted to brand her as his; feel again the softness of her body beneath him. Hed planned his proposal very carefully, couching it in the most logical terms he could present, letting her know he wouldnt disrupt her carefully ordered world. The idea of marrying her had come to him during the night, and he really did feel that Diane would approve of his marrying Sarah. More than that, he liked the idea of her having his name and being in his bed every night. The fiercely possessive streak in him wanted to mark her off-limits to every other man, especially before that damned Max Conroy could work his potent charm on her. But until shed looked at him after hed asked her to marry him and very calmly said Why? he hadnt realized how desperately he needed her to say yes. Her affirmative answer, finally given, and in such an offhand manner that he was shaken by how little enthusiasm she had for the idea, had lifted a weight from him that he hadnt even known was there until it was gone and he felt his freedom from its restrictions. Lord, how he wanted her!

He rubbed his beard-roughened chin against her temple and reluctantly shifted her away from him. We can wait, he said, wanting to embroil her in plans before she had a chance to have second thoughts. We have to plan everything, and make arrangements.

We have to make breakfast, she added, taking her cue from him and keeping everything light and practical. Unless youve already eaten?

No, I hadnt even thought about it. I didnt realize I was hungry until you mentioned it, but damned if Im not starving.

She smiled a little, thinking that hed just revealed that hed been suffering from an attack of nerves, though she wasnt going to drive herself mad trying to decide whether hed been afraid shed turn him down or afraid shed accept.

Let me comb my hair; then Ill make the biggest breakfast you ever saw.

While youre combing your hair, Ill start on the biggest breakfast we ever saw, he amended. Do you want the works?

She nodded, feeling happier than she ever had before, and her appetite seemed to have increased in response. Though normally a light eater, she felt hungry enough to put away a man-size breakfast. I like my eggs over medium, she informed him on her way out.

Ill expect you back before then. It doesnt take that long to comb your hair!

How do you know? she retorted smugly. Youve never seen me.

His low chuckle followed her as she went to the bedroom. When the door was closed behind her, she sat down on the bed and clasped her hands on her knees, every muscle in her body quivering in delight. She couldnt believe it. After shed torn herself to pieces over him for years, hed walked in the door and asked her to marry him. His reasons were logical, but that didnt matter. To a starving woman, half a loaf was better than no bread at all. She thought of the mornings they would share, cooking breakfast together, lingering over a last cup of coffee, and her heart felt so full of happiness that she had trouble dragging oxygen into her chest A marriage opened up a whole new world of intimacy. Not just sexual intimacy, but the tiny things like sharing the bathroom mirror when they were in a rush to get ready for work, trading sections of the newspaper on Sunday mornings, having someone to rub the strain from her neck and shoulders after a hard day.

Suddenly she didnt want to be away from him a moment longer than necessary. She splashed cold water over her face, combed her hair and pulled it back with a clasp on each side, and swiftly changed into jeans and an oversize white shirt. She rolled the sleeves up as she returned to the kitchen.

The bacon was frying when she entered the room, and she sniffed in deep appreciation. Rome was rummaging in her cabinets, and he emerged with a box of instant pancake mix. Pancakes and eggs, he announced. Silver-dollar pancakes.

She shrugged and went along with him, not certain that her appetite was healthy enough for pancakes as well, but his probably was. While he was mixing the batter, she set the table, poured the orange juice, and got out the eggs.

Well have to find a new apartment, he said casually. Neither of ours is large enough to hold all our things.

Ummm. Thinking to spare him the necessity of spelling out to her that he wouldnt be sleeping with her, she said casually, Id like to have a three-bedroom apartment, if we can find one at a reasonable price. It would be nice to have an extra bedroom in case anyone came to visit.

He went curiously still, but his back was to her and she couldnt see his expression. To let him know that she wasnt going to dwell on the subject, she said just as casually, Ill have to quit my job.

His head jerked around, his dark eyes incredulous.

Well, I will. She smiled at him. I cant work at Spencer-Nyle if Im going to be married to you. Its unprofessional, and I dont think it would work very well, even if Mr. Edwards agreed.

His jaw set grimly. I didnt think of that. I cant ask you to quit your job for me. I know how much it means to you

You dont know anything, she interrupted. I was thinking of quitting anyway. It was time Rome Matthews began learning a little about the woman he planned to marry, and the first lesson was to begin breaking it to him, gradually, that she wasnt a dedicated, high-powered businesswoman who got the greatest satisfaction of her life from her job. Its just a job, she said deliberately. I like it, and Ive done my best at it because I dont believe in only half doing something, not because Im devoted to it. Id begun thinking of quitting, as I said. After last night, I didnt see how I could go on working with you.

He gave her a disbelieving look. Youd quit just because we had sex?

I didnt think I could keep things professional between us at work.

Look, I could arrange something

No, she said mildly, not giving him time to finish. Im not planning to sit on my rear and let you support me, if thats what youre worried about. Ive worked too hard to settle into a routine of soap operas, and I wouldnt have anything else to occupy my time. Ill get another job.

Thats not it, he growled angrily. Im well able to support you even if you wanted to sit on your rear for three lifetimes. I just hate the thought of you giving up your job because of me.

Its the only reasonable thing to do. Im not that attached to it, and youre an executive; Im not.

Youll look for another secretarial job?

I dont know. Thoughtfully she broke an egg into the skillet. I have some money saved up; I might go into some sort of business for myself. I could open a dress shop, like every lady of leisure with money and time on her hands does. She grinned at the thought.

He shook his head. Whatever you want, as long as its what you really want. If you want to stay at Spencer-Nyle, Ill throw my weight around.

I really think Ill be happier out of the office routine. Ive done it for a long time now, and Im ready for a change.

After a moment, he chuckled wickedly. This is really going to drive Max crazy.

Rome! Laughing helplessly at him, she shook her head. What a fiendish thought! Did you ask me to marry you just so you could force Max to get a new secretary?

No, but it serves him right.

Dont you like him?

He lifted his eyebrows. I like him a lot. Hes a hell of an executive. But liking him at work, and liking the way he looks at you are two different things.

Sarah decided that she really owed Max a big favor if his interest had sparked the possessiveness in Rome that had resulted in last night. As she finished cooking the eggs, she stole glances at Rome, and a thrill went through her every time. They worked so well together, it could have been the hundredth breakfast theyd shared instead of the first. She only hoped that this first breakfast was an indication of how smoothly their married life would go. She wouldnt push him, but she hoped, with every fiber of her being, that she could teach him how to love again.

Telling Max, that Monday morning, wasnt the easiest thing shed ever done. He was at first disbelieving, then outraged, as he realized that she was turning in her notice.

The bloody barbarian did this deliberately, he fumed, pacing up and down the office, so angry that his vivid eyes were glittering. Temper radiated from him like electricity. He knew youd quit and leave me totally lost.

Thank you, Sarah said dryly. I cant tell you how much it reassures me to think that Rome asked me to marry him solely to upset your routine.

Max halted in his pacing, staring at her, and his eyes softened. I need a good hard kick in the rear, he finally admitted ruefully. Ignore me, darling. My nose is out of joint because hes already won the race, and I was left standing at the starting post. Its so damned embarrassing.

Sarah laughed, because the image of Maxs mooning over her was so ludicrous. He was sophisticated down to his fingertips, and every woman in the building would give her eye-teeth for a chance with himevery woman but herself. He watched her as she laughed, her face lit by the inner glow that riveted him every time he saw it. As if drawn by her gentle warmth, he moved closer to her, a little sad because that glow wasnt for him, and shed never grace his life as hed so often imagined her.

If he ever makes you unhappy, you know where I am, he murmured, stroking her satin cheek with his forefinger. Be careful, darling. Beneath that controlled corporate image the mans a wolf on the prowl, and youre just an innocent lamb. Dont let him have you for lunch.

Max didnt state the obvious, that Rome didnt love her, but she knew that the thought was in his mind. He was observant enough to know that Romes actions sprang from libido, not from emotion.

You do know what youre doing? he worried.

Yes, of course I do. Ive loved him for a long time.

Does he know?

She shook her head.

Then, dont tell him. Make him work for it; hell appreciate it more. A shrewd look entered his eyes. Why do I have a feeling that the lamb is going to get the best of the wolf?

I dont know, but I hope youre right, she said shakily. You dont know how much I hope so!

Just remember: If it doesnt work out, cut your losses. Ill be here if you need me. I have a fantasy, he mused. Its a very simple one. I fantasize that I take you back to England with me, marry you in the stone relic of a church where my family has shackled themselves for more generations than I can count, and get you with child. Providing heirs would be my favorite occupation.

Sarah laughed again, blushing, and part of her wished it could have been Max. Her love would have been safe with him. But instead shed given her heart to a man burdened by the past, a man who wanted her body and her companionship, but not the wealth of love inside her.

May I kiss you? he asked, sliding his hand from her cheek to cup it around her chin, lifting it so he could look her full in the face. Just once, and I promise to never ask you againas long as youre with Rome.

Looking into those wickedly dancing turquoise eyes, Sarah knew he didnt have a chaste good-bye kiss in mind. He wanted to kiss her with passion, with all the heat of his superb male body. She knew very well that Max wasnt in love with her, but she knew, as he did, that had things worked out differently he could have been the one she married. Only the timing of their initial meeting had prevented it. Knowing that she could have loved him if she hadnt loved Rome first and forever blinded herself to other men made her feel a little sad and a little happy at the same time. Yes, as a good-bye kiss, she said, and rose a little on tiptoe to offer her mouth to him.