Sarah's Child (15 page)
So, out of the seven, only one married for love?
Ummm. I havent done any real deep research yet, but Ive talked to some men, and Id almost believe that even more men marry for convenience than women. Men are very straightforward in their needs, and they still have a lot of the cavemen instincts.
Me Tarzan, you Jane?
In a way. They still want a fire and someone to cook the meat they bring home, bandage their wounds, do their laundrywhich probably translates from curing the animal hides and making clothingand a warm body when they need one. Simple, basic needs that havent changed all that much in substance; only the ritual is different. They marry to fulfill those needs.
You dont paint a very romantic picture, Sarah commented, beginning to feel chilled by Marcies precise descriptions. The conversation was reminding her too painfully of her own marriage. Rome had married her for all those reasons, and hed been very open with her about them. He wanted a home, a stable relationship, convenient sex. In return, hed be a faithful, dependable husband. A marriage of convenience for him. For her, a marriage of love.
Theres romance in it, Marcie continued thoughtfully, nibbling on a chicken leg. Some people learn to love each other after theyre married. Most care for each other to some degree, even if it never becomes love. Some marriages dont last. But Im convinced that convenience is the basis for more marriages than most of us would like to admit.
I wonder how many people do fall in love after theyre married? Sarah wondered aloud, unaware of the hint of wist-fulness in her tone.
Marcie gave her a piercing look full of awareness, and a hint of pity. Sarah caught the look and knew immediately that Marcie had guessed how lukewarm Rome was in his feelings for his wife. She went pale and looked down, and Marcie put her hand on Sarahs.
Im being such a pessimist, Marcie said with false cheerfulness. Probably men fall in love as readily as women, but theyre just too contrary to admit it.
No, Rome admitted to loving. The trouble was, it was Diane he loved.
But again Sarah reminded herself that shed take what she could. She couldnt afford to be proud and turn him away because she demanded his complete devotion or nothing. The passing years had taught her that thered be no other love for her, no other man to push Rome out of her heart.
Marcie tried to break the moment by looking around and exclaiming at the changes that had been made in the store since the last time shed seen it. Have you had many customers today?
More than Id expected, Sarah said, gratefully accepting the change of subject and wrenching her mind away from Rome. She looked around the small cozy store and had the painful thought that, in years to come, the store might be all she had. Age and familiarity would dilute Romes desire for her, and she could predict that his business trips would come more frequently and last longer. Theyd achieved an easy physical intimacy and talked comfortably on a lot of subjects that never, never probed too deeply. Rome had set a limit on how close he would let her come, and he never allowed her to pass that boundary. He held her at an emotional distance, and Sarah shivered, feeling cold all over again.
Chapter 7
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The small bell above the crafts shop door rang at ten minutes after five, signaling the arrival of someone else. The bell jangled all day long, surprising Sarah with its frequency, and she looked up automatically. Just as automatically, her heartbeat increased and her skin flushed as she met Romes dark eyes across the width of the store.
She was waiting on a customer, so he didnt approach her. He lifted a straight black brow at her and began to wander through the aisles, examining the merchandise, his hands shoved into his pants pockets, his suit jacket open. Hed loosened his tie; the silk noose now allowed a good two inches of freedom about his neck. Sarah tried to help her customer, but at the same time she wanted to watch Rome; she felt nervous, and anxious for his approval, like a mother whose child was debuting in a school play. What if he made some comment of unenthusiastic praise? She didnt know how shed take it.
The middle-aged woman finally bought several skeins of yarn and a book of afghan patterns. As she left, Derek came out of the back and approached Sarah. Ive put that dead-bolt lock on the back door and cleaned up in back. Are you closing at five thirty? If you are, I wont start painting that other room until tomorrow.
Rome was slowly approaching, still looking over the merchandise, and Sarah eyed him over Dereks shoulder. Yes, five thirtys closing time.
Ill follow you home, Mrs. Matthews, Derek offered, but somehow it was firmer than an offer.
Thats all right, Rome said easily, coming up behind the boy. Ill stay with her until closing, if you want to go on home.
Derek turned, his golden brown eyes meeting Romes darker ones. Hed seen Rome at a distance, so he knew immediately who the older man was, but theyd never been introduced. Sarah took care of that. Rome, this is Derek Taliferro. Derek, my husband, Rome.
Rome held out his hand, man-to-man, and Derek took it with complete ease, as if hed expected nothing else. Sir, he said with his unshakable good manners.
Im glad to finally meet you, said Rome. Sarah raves about you. From what I hear, she wouldnt have been able to open so soon without your help.
Thank you, sir. I was happy to help, and I like working with my hands.
Evidently feeling that hed said all that needed saying, Derek turned to Sarah. Ill go home, then. I called Mom after I got out of school, and she told me that shes working on an article, so that probably means shes forgotten about food. Id better stuff a sandwich down her before she gets too weak to type. Ill see you tomorrow, Mrs. Matthews.
Fine. Be careful, she admonished.
He flashed her a brilliant smile, so bright, it was startling. Im always careful. I cant afford to get stopped.
When Derek had gone, Rome said suspiciously, How is he getting home?
Driving, Sarah said, grinning.
And hes just fifteen?
She nodded. But he never gets stopped, because he looks old enough to have a license. Hes an extremely good driver, of course. I cant imagine him being anything else. Then she couldnt stand it any longer, and she burst out, Well, what do you think?
Again he lifted a sardonic eyebrow, leaning against the checkout counter. About the store, or Derek?
Wellboth.
Im surprised as hell, he said bluntly. By both Derek and the store. I was expecting a lot of bare space, not this permanent, been-here-for-centuries feeling. The handmade stuff is really something; where do you find it?
People bring it here. I sell it on commission. People will pay dearly for handmade quilts and pottery.
So I saw from the prices on those quilts, he murmured. Derek is something else too, isnt he? Are you sure hes only fifteen?
Marcie swears he is, and she should know. Hell have a birthday next month.
Sixteen doesnt sound that much better. The kids a rock.
Ive hired him to help me in the afternoons and on weekends. He was working in a grocery store, but one of the cashiers was chasing him, so Marcie asked me if Id hire him. I snapped him up.
Hes young to be working like that.
Hes saving for college. If he wasnt working here, hed be working somewhere else, whether Marcie liked it or not. I get the feeling that once hes decided on his course of action, a stick of dynamite couldnt blow him off it.
Their conversation was interrupted when the bell jangled again, as a young mother entered with a toddler in her arms and a boy of about five right on her heels. Rome glanced at her; then he saw the two children and something congealed in his eyes. He went still, a blank mask taking all the life from his face. He moved back, and Sarah gave him a helpless glance as she walked over to offer her assistance to her new customer. The young woman smiled and expressed interest in a collection of clowns with stuffed bodies and china heads and limbs. Her mother collected clowns and was having a birthday soon. As the woman examined the selection, she put the toddler on the floor; the older boy hung over the counter, staring wide-eyed at the clowns.
It was a moment before either Sarah or the young mother noticed that the baby had strayed. Justin, come back here!
The baby giggled and toddled around the end of the counter, heading straight for Rome. A spear of pain had gone through Sarah at the mention of the babys name, and she almost cried out when she saw the chalky look on Romes face. He stepped aside, avoiding the baby, not even looking down at it. Ill wait in the car, he said in a harsh, strained voice that didnt sound like his, and he walked out, his back stiff. The young woman hadnt noticed Romes reaction; she scooped up her errant offspring, tickling his stomach and making him laugh. I guess Ill just have to hold you, you big lug!
She bought two of the clowns, and as soon as shed left, Sarah flipped the sign to CLOSED and began locking up. Her heart was pounding heavily, and she wanted to go to Rome. Peering out the window, she saw him sitting in his car, parked just a few parking spaces down the street, staring straight ahead.
Deciding it was better to give him a few minutes alone, she finished securing the store for the night, then went out back to her own car. When she drove out of the back alley onto the street, Romes car nosed in behind her.
He was completely silent on the elevator going up to the apartment, his jaw set, his eyes bleak. Sarah said Rome? hesitantly, but he didnt look at her or indicate that he heard her.
She waited until the door was closed behind them in the apartment; then she put her hand on his arm. Im sorry. I know how you feel
You damned well dont know how I feel, he said harshly, throwing off her touch. Let me know when dinners ready.
Sarah stood in the foyer for a moment after hed turned his back and walked off, feeling as if hed slapped her. Moving as if in shock, she took off her coat and hung it up, then went into her bedroom to change into older clothes before starting their dinner. Her face in the mirror was pale and taut, her eyes darkened with hurt. She set her mouth and deliberately blanked her expression. Shed overstepped his boundaries and been coldly rebuffed for it. He wanted a distinct emotional distance between them, and she had to remember that.
She didnt allow herself to hide in her bedroom, though she felt a need to lick her own wounds. She went out to the kitchen and began calmly preparing the meal shed already planned, not letting herself think about his absence from the kitchen. He usually helped, and she was accustomed to having his tall form taking up a lot of space, to talking to him while they worked.
She called him to the table, her manner carefully free of reproach or hurt. He didnt initiate any conversation, so she didnt either. When they were finished, he lingered for a moment at the table, as if searching for something to say. Not wanting him to feel uncomfortable, Sarah kept herself busy clearing the table and cleaning up the kitchen, even humming quietly to herself as she worked, though she couldnt have identified what tune she was humming. Then she said casually, Im going to take a shower and make an early night of it, since this is a chance to catch up on my sleep.
He didnt reply but watched her narrowly as she went to her room.
She didnt tell him good night after shed taken her shower and put on a nightgown; there was a limit to her self-control. She simply turned out the light and went to bed, then lay curled on her side, staring at the wall, unable to fill the emptiness inside her.
Much later she was still awake, listening to him in his own room, hearing his shower running. The water stopped, and she heard no other sounds. When her door was opened, she jumped, startled, and rolled over onto her back.
He was a darker outline against the night. He pulled the covers back and bent over her, pulling the nightgown over her head and dropping it to the floor. Sarah felt his hands on her breasts and thighs; then his heavy weight came down on her and his mouth closed fiercely over hers. A shudder of relief shook her, and she put her arms around his neck, letting him part her legs and take her.
All of me, he demanded harshly, as she lifted her hips up to him. Take all of me. More. More! Yes, like that. Just like that!
He was silent then, taking her with barely controlled violence. Sarah gave herself up without a struggle to the tumultuous responses he demanded of her, knowing that the comfort of her body was the only comfort hed accept from her. She quickly reached her pleasure, and he slowed then, forcibly bringing himself to an easier rhythm and a lighter touch. When she began to move under him again, telling him without words that the tension was building in her once more, he unleashed his strength and drove into her with a power that took her breath and shattered her senses, sending her spi-raling over the edge of pleasure again. Never before had he taken her like that, with such raw, unbridled need, holding her so tightly that she felt crushed. But when it was over, he began moving away from her, and panic seized her.
Before she could stop herself, she reached out for him. Please, she whispered tightly. Hold me, just for a little while.
He hesitated, then stretched out on the bed and pulled her up against him, settling her head on his shoulder. Sarah clenched her fingers in the hair on his chest, as if she could hold him in place during the night. She melted against him, her soft body flowing to meet the contours of his, adjusting and fitting. Suddenly she felt herself going to sleep, as her body relaxed and a sigh of contentment escaped her.
