Safer Outside (A Mature YA Romance) (The Outside Series) (7 page)

“I like cake batter with brownies.”

He grinned and gave me a squeeze. “I knew you had good taste.”

We watched the lady
mix our sundae in silence. After Logan paid, we walked back to the table he was at earlier.

“Is every
thing okay at home?” I asked.

“Yeah, why?”
He scooped a small chunk of ice cream and whipped cream on the spoon and held it up to my mouth.

Despite feeling silly for doing it, I leaned forward and took the bite he offered. It was delicious.

“Sounds like someone is sick. If you need to go home, I understand. We can do this another time.” I didn’t know if I wanted him to take the out or not.

“
Huh?” He seemed confused as he thought back to his conversation. “Oh, that call? No, it’s no one. Amanda’s staying with us and she was puking when I left. It’s nothing.”

My jaw dropped and my stomach clenched before I could compose myself. “Amanda is staying with you?
Amanda from school?”
Amanda that hates me? Amanda that is obviously in love with you?

“Yeah.
Her parents and my parents are good friends. She stays with us whenever they travel...which is often.”

He didn’t bother to explain any further, apparently not thinking anything else needed to be explained. He was wrong.

“Well, that’s convenient.” I laughed to keep the snarky tone out of my voice. “She seems to really like you so that must make her happy.” I was smiling but he could see through it.

“She’s like a sister to me.” He put another bite of ice cream into my mouth. “Trust
me, she’s not the one I’m interested in.”

“Come on. You can’t tell me that you’ve never fooled
around.” I wanted to get up and walk out but I had no real reason to be mad. We weren’t officially together and I certainly couldn’t go back in time and change his past. I just hated thinking about him with her. Or anyone.

“Well, I gues
s a few times over the years but it wasn’t serious. She used to have a thing for me but now we’re just friends.”

I think I snorted. I didn’t want to react at all but he was completely delusional if he believed that.

“Right,” I said quieter than I intended. I didn’t want him to think it mattered to me. It shouldn’t have mattered to me.

“Hey.” He nudged my knee with his. “Come here.”

I
was
there. I was sitting less than two feet away from him.
How much closer could I get?

He scooted his chair out and
tugged my arm in way that had me on my feet then in his arms in one motion.

“I said,
” he whispered in my ear as I fell ungracefully into his lap, “come here.”

The
seductive command in his words made me forget what I was upset about. Every nerve in my body was on high alert.

“I’m here.” I stared at his big hand wrapped around min
e, unable to face him.

“So am I.” He traced a finger down by jaw and
tilted my chin so I was forced to look him in the eye. “With you. I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking about you but I can’t. And I don’t care who else might be interested in me...or you. They don’t matter. I choose you.”

He placed a soft kiss on my lips then pulled back, never taking his eyes off me. “And I hope you’ll choose me.”

I trained my features to remain neutral but I don’t think it worked. I felt dizzy with the emotions warring within me. Excitement. Fear. Happiness. Anxiety. Safety.

“Like, as your girlfriend or something?” I’d never been one to put myself out there and risk rejection so openly but I needed to know exactly what he meant. I couldn’t keep wondering any longer.

“Yes, I want you to be my girlfriend so my friends will back the hell off.” He was dragging his fingertips down my spine and I couldn’t think. If he wasn’t doing that, I’d have made a better decision. I would have told him that it couldn’t happen. My life was too complicated and I couldn’t put him in danger just because I was selfish. I would have thanked him for the ice cream then walked away. I would have tried harder to keep him safe.

But he was and I di
dn’t. “Okay.”

The smile that blossomed across his face cemented my selfishness. I wanted to be with him. I didn’t care about anything else.

He kissed me again but lingered longer. His tongue lightly passed over the seam of my lips and I couldn’t help but open up for him. I didn’t know what to do next but he was an excellent and patient teacher. His tongue gently wrapped around mine and he pulled back, taking my lower lip in his mouth and sucking softly. The fluttering that had been in my stomach moved even lower and my whole body trembled.

With one hand at the nape of my neck, he tilted my head and entered my awaiting mouth once again. I don’t think I took a breath until he sucked my tongue into his mouth and pulled off, leaving a trail of soft kisses up my jaw to my ear. When his tongue trac
ed my lobe, I shuddered again.

“Mmm, you taste good,” he said into my ear. The hot air made my whole body tingle. I had been aroused before by books and movies but never like that. I squirmed in his lap and realized he was just as excited as I was.

I froze, afraid I had embarrassed him...or myself.

His head rolled back and he moaned quietly. “You feel good too.”

“Sorry.” I could feel the flush on my cheeks before I turned away, ducking out of his view.

His quiet laugh surprised me. He wrapped his arms around
me and squeezed. “Don’t ever be sorry. I’m loving this.” He kissed the top of my head then leaned back in his chair.

“So, you still wanna catch a movie?” His finger was twirling a lock of my hair as he watched me.

“Definitely.” If I didn’t get off his lap quickly, I was afraid of what might happen in the middle of that ice cream shop. Besides, it was getting crowded and we both needed some air.

~**~

We decided on an action comedy that had been out for a few weeks so the theater wasn’t full. We went to the very last row and settled in the middle seats.

The first ten minutes of the movie seemed good but I was mostly paying attention to Logan’s hand wrapped around mine. We started off with our hands joined on the armrest between us but somehow he shifted so they were resting on my thigh. Eventually his palm was wrapped around my lower thigh, just above my knee.

I could barely breathe. I was terrified he would start to scoot up my leg. I was also worried that he wouldn’t. 

H
e didn’t. He just drew circles over my jeans with his thumb.

I leaned onto his shoulder, melting even further into him as he inhaled deeply into my hair.
Halfway through the movie, my phone vibrated in my purse.

I ignored it.

“Do you need to check that?” Logan asked.

“No. It’s probably just my mom.”

He probably thought I was rude but I didn’t want her to ruin my high from being with Logan. I didn’t know how long it would last between us and I wanted to enjoy every second of it.

I leaned into Logan’s shoulder and sighed contentedly. He looked down at me. After a moment, I lifted my head. The way he looked at me made my body ignite. He stared at me for a long time, his face close to mine. When he glanced at my lips, I knew it was coming, but I wasn't prepared for it. He pressed his lips against mine and I was lost.

The kiss was gentle and precise. Logan softly ran his tongue over my upper lip, then my lower, sucking it into his mouth. His touch was featherlight but I felt it over my entire body. He obviously had a lot of experience, but I wasn’t thinking about his past. Only our present. When his tongue slipped inside and parted my lips further, I moaned involuntarily. I was making it totally obvious that I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. But my body reacted on instinct. My mind had lost all power to hold back. Unable to control myself, I reached out and touched his chest, feeling the lines of muscle under his shirt.

Suddenly, he broke our kiss but didn't pull away. He rubbed his nose against mine, looking into my eyes, then kissed me again. His hot breath came into my mouth and filled my lungs. The taste and smell of Logan Cooper was enough to do me in.

I felt the buildup of something foreign, something I couldn't control and understand. It burned between my legs. Every time my bottom rubbed against the seat, it was stronger. As our lips continued to touch, I felt the breach was very near.

When Logan pulled away, I thought I would scream. The movie had ended and people were filing out all around us. Logan and I looked at each, both breathing hard. That was the most sexual experience I’d ever had. I wanted more, much more.

We sat in the empty theater for a few minutes while we caught our breath and cooled down. Finally, without a word, we stood and walked toward the exit.

“Hungry? We can grab someth
ing before I take you home.” Logan’s hand was curled around my waist as we walked outside.

I didn’t mean to stiffen but I couldn’t help it.
How could I be so stupid? Of course, he’d want to drive me home.

“Actually, I’m not really hungry but thanks.” I tried to come up with a
n excuse for going home on my own but nothing came to mind. “And I appreciate the offer but you don’t have to drive me. I’ll be fine.”

Logan stopped walking and turned me to face him, holding me firmly at the waist. “I’m not letting my girlfriend take the bus home when I am perfectly able to drive her.” He
took my lower lip in his and nipped it softly. “No fighting me on this.”

Damn, damn, damn.

“You don’t understand. I’m not allowed to date and if my stepdad sees you, he’ll freak. I’ll be grounded forever. Please accept that.” I wasn’t above begging.

His brows furrowed as he contemplated what I was saying. “I’m not going to put you on a bus.” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear
.

“What if I drop you
off down the street? No one will know I drove you and I’ll be able to sleep tonight.” At least he was willing to compromise.

“Fine.
But, you have to promise to leave as soon as I get out of the car. If anyone sees me with you, I’ll be dead.”

He pulled me against his side and started walking me to the parking lot. “
A little dramatic, aren’t we?” He laughed and kissed my head.

I wish this was just hormonal drama at play.
“Sorry. I guess I’m just not used to this.”

“What have you done with your other boyfriends? Were they all a big secret too?” His white mustang was parked right up front.

“It hasn’t really been an issue in the past.” I didn’t want to admit just how inexperienced I was...or why. Amanda had already hinted that I used to be fat but he didn’t need a reminder.

“Why is that?”

“I haven’t really had a serious boyfriend before.” Or a non-serious boyfriend. Or any boyfriend of any kind.

“I find that hard to believe.” He opened the passenger door for me to slide in.

I looked up at him, wondering what he meant.

“You’re too beautiful to not have a trail of broken hearts behind you. I’ve had to threaten most of the guys at school to stay
the hell away from you.”

I laughed.
“Yeah right.”

I reached for the seatbelt but his hand stopped mine, holding it against my shoulder.

“It’s true. I knew from the moment I saw you that you’d be mine. I’m just glad you know it too now.” He pressed his mouth to mine harder than he had before. I felt the intensity of that kiss down to my toes. His tongue swept against mine, exploring within me. My hand reached up to his silky hair and held him tight, pulling him closer to me. The rough side of Logan Cooper was super hot.

~**~

There was no way I was taking Logan into my neighborhood. If he saw where I lived, he’d never agree to let me walk the rest of the way alone.

The houses
on my block were small, single story cottages with barred windows and barren yards. There were pit bulls tied to trees every three or four lots and the ones in between had cars on blocks or random toys covering the dirt that was probably once a lush lawn. He could never go there.

I gave him directions to a neighborhood
three miles from mine. It was the last block of a development that was being rehabilitated by Silicon Valley up and comers. I babysat for a family there a few times when I went to Lincoln so I had Logan drop me off at the end of their block. He gave me a long kiss and a sad look when I finally said goodbye. Both had my stomach fluttering as I got out of his car.

As he drove away, I started
slowly walking down one side of the street. At the end, I waited to make sure he wasn’t coming back before turning toward the main intersection. I went straight to my old bus stop and checked the schedule. The last bus had just left so I kept going. It was faster to just walk home than wait forty minutes for the next bus.

Chapter Eight

Rumors

When I got on campus Monday morning, Logan wasn’t around. It was more disappointing than I expected. Kim and I sat in the library and I told her all about the movie with Logan. She was absolutely giddy when I told her we were officially together. She wanted every detail but I couldn’t bring myself to say any more than ‘we made out.’ Thankfully, that was enough for her.

“I’m so happy for you, Beth—Liz.
Whatever. You totally deserve a hot guy like Logan. And he’s so sweet. I wouldn’t have guessed he’d be so awesome.” She pulled out a light pink lip gloss and gestured for me to pucker up while she dabbed some on my lips. “The way Becky talked about him, I assumed he’d be totally arrogant and kind of an ass.”

Ugh, Becky.
The ex. I hated thinking about her. She was exactly the opposite of me in every way with her big blonde hair and giant boobs. She was one of those cheerleaders that wore her uniform practically every day, as if she needed to constantly remind the rest of us of how superior she was. If she was his type, I had no idea how long he’d stay interested in me.

“Yeah, I can’t imagine him being an ass to her. But then again, he was kinda rude when he was talking to Amanda.” That brought up my other source of frustration.

“When was he talking to Amanda?” Kim was finishing some homework before first period.

How
could I have left out that part?

“Oh, you’re not gonna believe this. Apparently, Amanda live
s with him most of the time. Her parents are friends with his parents or something and she’s always at his house.”

The look on Kim’s face was priceless. Her jaw hung open and her eyes were about to pop out of her head.

“Shut. Up.” She leaned in to whisper her fury. “That bitch does not live with your man!”

Between her words and her expression, I couldn’t help but laugh. She was adorable when she was being protective. She relaxed a little but was still furious.

“You know she’s like in love with him, right? She’s been following him like a puppy since he dumped Becky. It’s pretty pathetic actually.” Kim pulled an insulated mug from her bag and took a drink of the coffee concoction Maddie made for her every morning. It smelled delicious.

“Yeah, I know.” The uneasy feeling was back. “But, there isn’t much I can do about it. They’re family friends. And he swears he’s not into her.”

“Well, obviously not. But still. I wouldn’t trust her around my man.” She looked deep in thought when her eyes bugged out again. “Where does she sleep?”

Excellent question.
“No idea. I’m sure not
with
him...probably a guest room or something. I don’t know if I should ask.” I was doodling on the back of my geometry notebook. “I don’t want to seem insecure.”

Just then, my phone buzzed from my bag.

Where are you?

It was Logan.

In the library.

Thirty seconds later, the heavy doors burst open and Logan was there. His eyes scanned the room until they met mine. The
quick grin that took over his face made me sigh, even from across the room. He came straight to me and lifted me out of the chair by my elbows. Holding me tightly, he inhaled into my neck.

“M
mm, I missed you. I wanted to drive you to school this morning.”

I froze.
What did that mean?

He noticed my reaction and pulled back.

“What’s wrong, love?” He searched my face then looked me over from head to toe. “Is everything okay?”

I took a deep breath and tried to contro
l my voice. “What do you mean you wanted to drive me to school?”

“I waited at the corner where I dropped you off.”
He sat in the chair I’d been in and pulled me onto his lap. “I got there at six forty-five but you must have already left.”

Shit
. This is why it would never work. I shouldn’t have let him drive me anywhere. “Logan, you promised.”

I hated to sound whiny but I was ready to cry and didn’t want to do that either. “I told you not to go anywhere near my house. Please respect that.”

“I just hate the idea of you alone on a bus full of strangers.” He rubbed my back until I relaxed against his chest.

“I know but I’ll be fine. I’ve been doing this for years. Please don’t go out there again.”

I felt his chest rise as he held his breath. The bell rang before he had the chance to respond. “We better get going.”

He lifted my chin with his finger and gave me a sweet kiss. It was quick but
sent the message that he wasn’t agreeing to anything.

~**~

Kim and I went to P.E. and debated the pros and cons of asking more questions about Amanda. I knew I’d get the details eventually but my curiosity made me think it needed to be sooner rather than later.

Logan was waiting for me outside the locker room when we walked out. I waved to Kim as
he pulled me to his chest and backed me up against the wall. I was completely surrounded by his tall frame as he hovered over me. “Now I can give you a proper hello.”

I took a breath that sounded like a gasp as Logan lowered his mouth to mine. He held my neck with one of his strong hands and wrapped the other around my waist. My body arched into his as he devoured me. He was an amazing kisser. I didn’t have much experience but I couldn’t imagine anything being better than Logan’s moist lips smashed to mine.
His tongue caressing mine. His heartbeats synching up with mine. Logan being mine.

When he finally pulled away, we were
both breathless. Our foreheads were pressed together as we tried to slow our breathing. “I want to show you something at lunch.”

It took me a second to form
words to respond to him. “What is it?”

He kissed my nose then pulled back.
“It’s a surprise.”

We started walking to Humanities.

I hate surprises. I’d had very few good surprises in my life. I knew Logan wouldn’t intentionally do something bad but he had no idea what I was dealing with. I could have given him some warning but anything I revealed would just lead to more questions that I couldn’t answer. I had to play along or end it and I definitely wasn’t ready to end it.

“Should I be worried?
” I teased. Part of me was a little excited about what it could be.

“Nope.
I’m worried you won’t like it but you have nothing to worry about. If you hate it, I’ll...take care of it.”

What the hell did that mean? It sounded so ominous. “Now I’m really worried.”

He smiled down at me. “It’s just a silly project I worked on over the weekend. It’s not a big deal.”

Project?
“Your sketch?”
Did he make something for me?

“You’ll see.” He squeezed me then
dropped his arm from my shoulder as we walked into class.

The anticipation was killing me. Once I knew it was something he made, I couldn’t wait to see it.

We watched a movie about the renaissance period and Logan twirled my hair the entire time. It was such an intimate gesture that I felt myself falling for him harder with every brush of his finger over my spine. He pulled my desk up against the side of his and my head moved to his shoulder without my knowledge. It was like I was just drawn to him. I couldn’t get close enough. I never felt as safe and protected as I did with Logan.

By the time the bell rang for
break, I’d forgotten all about Amanda. We were heading to my locker when she fell into step beside Logan.

“Hey, hun.
You left early this morning. I wanted to see what you’re doing for lunch.” She didn’t even acknowledge me but that was okay. I didn’t have anything to say to her either.

Logan turned to her but kept walking, pulling me tighter to his side.

“Yeah, I wanted to pick up Liz.” He leaned down to place a light kiss on the top of my head. When I looked up, he had an adoring smile on his face. “And we’re busy at lunch. Sorry.”

“You went to her house?” She seemed shocked. I don’t know why she would think it was a big dea
l. She didn’t have any idea why I kept my home life so private.

“Kinda. Why?” Logan stopped walking and looked at her with the same confusion I was feeling.

“I’m just surprised she would want you to see what she’s got hiding there.”

What the f
uck was that all about? “Excuse me?” I said, pulling out of Logan’s arm and rounding on her. If she had something to say, she needed to say it to my face. I wasn’t about to let her start any rumors about me.

“Don’t play dumb, Beth. It’s not as cute as you probably think it is.” She pu
lled her phone out of her purse and started swiping at it like she was bored with our conversation. “We all know why you gained so much weight and then had to “disappear” for a few years.”

I’ve never been a violent person but I wanted to beat the shit out of that bitch. Was she actually suggesting that I left school to have a baby?

“What the hell are you talking about, Mandy?” Logan said, pulling me back against his chest and rubbing his palms over my arms to soothe me.

“Just be careful with this one, Lo.” She gave me a look that oozed disgust. “She comes from trash and I wouldn’t want you to get dirty.”

Logan let go of my arms and grabbed the back of Amanda’s cardigan, dragging her about ten feet away from where we stood. I could see her cowering under his glare. Whatever he said to her wasn’t nice. She looked like she was about to cry. When he released her roughly, she turned to me and quickly composed herself. If looks could kill, I would have dropped dead on the spot. There was no question how Amanda felt about me. It was exactly the same way I felt about her.

Logan blocked my view of her and pulled me into his arms. “I’m so sorry about that. She can be a total bitch sometimes.”

I didn’t say anything. I just took slow breaths into his chest and tried to calm my racing heart. He gently nudged my shoulders back to make sure I was okay. When I didn’t meet his gaze, he ducked down and forced me to look at him. “You don’t have a baby at home, right?” He was teasing me but I could hear the crack in his voice that told me he wasn’t sure.

It was so ridiculous, I had to laugh. Finally releasing some of the tension in my body, I looked him square in the eye.

“No, of course not. I had no idea people thought that. It’s actually pretty funny.” Really funny when you considered I was only thirteen when most people saw me last. “I haven’t even—”

Oops, TMI.

“You haven’t what?” He waited for me to finish but I just shook my head. “Don’t worry about her. I think she still has a thing for me but it doesn’t matter.”

“It would matter a lot less if she didn’t live with you.” We started walking to the front where everyone hung out.

Logan laughed and kissed my cheek. “She doesn’t live with me. She stays at my house but I barely see her.”

Right.

Kim was at my side as soon as we approached the flag pole. “What happened?” She tried to pull me away from Logan but he didn’t let me get far. I felt his finger hook into my belt loop, holding me within his reach.

I looked over my shoulder to swat at him but his dorky grin was too cute for me to argue with. I turned to Kim with a dorky grin of my own. “What are you talking about?”

Allie and Jen were at her side.

“I saw Amanda yelling at you and Logan dragging her away,” Allie said. “Are you okay?”

I’d already forgotten about Amanda’s tantrum. I was just glad Logan took my side and didn’t question her further.

“I’m fine. She’s just pissy because she likes Logan.” I glanced back again and saw that he was talking to the guys so I unhooked his finger from my jeans and walke
d a few feet away from them.

Kim, Allie and Jen huddled around me. “She said the rumor was that I got pregnant and left school to have a baby or something. Can you believe that?”

I waited for everyone to laugh or be as appalled as I was but they just looked uncomfortable.

“What?” I waited for someone to speak. When no one did, I turned to Kim. “Tell me.”

“Well, I might have heard something about that but I didn’t think anyone actually believed it. I thought it was a lame joke.” She hugged me. “I’m sorry she said that. She’s just jealous.”

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t Kim’s fault for not telling me. It would have just hurt my feelings
and I was in a pretty dark place when we moved. I probably couldn’t have handled that kind of humiliation.

“Are you girls coming with us
at lunch?” Logan was at my back. He crossed his arms over my chest as I leaned on him. He wasn’t feeling me up but he could definitely feel me. I think I stopped breathing for a few seconds.

Kim perked right up. “Sure. Are we going off campus?” Her eyes flitted from his
forearms, which were resting over my breasts, to my face. She was probably wondering if I was going to pass out or run.