Ryan's Love (20 page)

I
could hear everyone behind us mumbling and footsteps from behind me
get closer and closer to us. Mrs. Callahan looks up at whoever it
was. But I couldn
’
t bring myself to
turn and look, for fear of who it might be. Whatever one of the
guys it was, I didn
’
t want to see. I
don
’
t know who I should have been more mad at. Ryan,
James, or one of the other two Callahan boys. James is my own
brother. I never fathomed he would do this to me. But Ryan, I
thought he loved me. I thought he would cherish me until the day I
died. I was so so wrong.

“
But
you can
’
t leave please. I need you here with me. I want
to take care of you,
”
she cried, grabbing onto my hand and
squeezing.

I was
momentarily swayed at her pleading and tears. I really hated to
hurt her by leaving. But I couldn
’
t stay. There is no
way that I could live in a house with anyone of
them.

I
looked into her sweet eyes as I tried to form the words that I
wanted to say to her. I wanted to be a gentle as I could with her
because I didn
’
t want to hurt her
more than she already was.

“
Mrs.
Callahan, Mom, after what went on today and finding out all of the
things that they did, there is no way that I could stay in this
house,
”
I say
exhaling.

A hand went up to my shoulder and
tried to turn me around, but I shook the hand off and stayed where
I was.

“
But
why? No one will tell me what was going on,
”
she cried.

“
Sunshine,
”
I could hear two or three people say at
once.

But I
didn
’
t even turn around to see who it
was.

I had not intention on telling her
about the filthy things I saw on that video; but I knew I had to
tell her something.

“
I
want to spare you what I went thru so I
’
m not going to
tell you what I saw on that video. But I will say that I can never
step foot in this house ever again,
”
she began crying.

That caused me to cry also. She
pulled me into her and again we cried together. I felt a hand move
to the small of my back. I swatted it away. But the hand moved back
to the small of my back and began rubbing right at the top of my
bottom.

“
Please whoever you are, remove your hands from my
back,
”
I said stepping away.

Without turning around I tell Mrs.
Callahan that it was time for me to leave; and I grabbed my
suitcase and started to the front door.

“
Sunshine, wait. You can
’
t leave me. I love
you,
”
I hear Ryan call out.

I stopped and a tremble went
throughout my body as the words hit my brain. It sounded so nice
and my pregnant self wanted to believe that, but a flash of him
having sex with Rachel popped into my head. That immediately sent a
wave of nausea thru my body.

“
I
don
’
t ever want to see or hear from you
again,
”
I say without turning around to look at
him.

“
But
what about the baby. I want you be in my child
’
s
life,
”
he said reaching around me and putting his hand on my
stomach.

I
quickly knocked his hand away, still not turning around I
say,
“
You lost that right when you did what you
did.
”

“
You
can
’
t leave. I won
’
t allow
it,
”
he boomed, as if that was going to scare me and make me
stay.

Oh no
he didn
’
t. I whipped around to face him. I was shaking
from head to toe with rage. My hand slipped into my pants pocket
and I held onto my security.

“
I
’
m leaving and there isn
’
t anything that you
or anyone else can do to stop me,
”
I say and I stand there waiting for
him to say otherwise.

“
Ryan, you can
’
t leave. I love
you,
”
my brother says standing by me.

“
You
you you. You are supposed to be my brother. How could you be apart
of this. I saw the whole damn video. You disgust
me,
”
I
spat out at him.

His face paled and he tired to reach
out for me.

“
Don
’
t touch me. I don
’
t want your filthy
hands to ever touch me again,
”
I say stepping back away from him and
Ryan.

Everyone else started over to where
we were. I could see Killian, Patrick, Mr. Callahan, and Charlie
making their way over to me.

“
Charlie, please. I need you right now,
”
I cry reaching out to
her.

She pushed her way thru everyone and
gathered me up into her arms. I sank into her and cried into her
neck.

She
rubbed my back and said,
“
Shush. It
’
s going to be
ok.
”

“
No
its not. I
’
m always going to be alone now. I
don
’
t know what to do.
”

“
No
your not. You have your precious baby coming along soon, and you
have me,
”
she said trying to sooth me, holding and rocking me in her
strong arms.

“
But
I don
’
t know if I
’
m strong enough for
that. What if I end up like my mom. I never want to be like
her,
”
I
cried.

Hands upon hands touched me all at
once.

“
It
’
s going to be ok Honey. Please just let us
explain what happened last night,
”
one of the guys
said.

I jerk away from everyone and turn
around with fire in my eyes. I never wanted to say any of this in
front of Mrs. or Mr. Callahan, but these guys are never going to
let up; so I guess I have to say what needs to be said before I
leave.

“
There is nothing you can tell me that will ever excuse what
I saw on that video.
”

“
Its
not what you think,
”
Ryan said shyly.

“
Its
not what I think. What I think is I saw you, you, you, and you
fucking the shit out of Rachel; and you all liked
it,
”
I
screamed pointing out each one of the guys.

All four of the guys shrunk into
themselves and Mr. and Mrs. Callahan gasped as well as Charlie. She
glared at all of them especially Ryan.

“
You
Ryan, have no rights to anything ever again. And you James were
supposed to be the one person that I could count on. Along with
everyone else
I
don
’
t ever want to see you again. You all are disgusting.
Do you know how I feel right now,
”
I yelled crying holding onto my
belly.

“
I
feel like the lowest person on this earth. Not only did you lie to
me. You broke me down to a place that I know that I will never
return from. I feel like a piece of dirt. I feel disgusted, used,
violated, and miserable. I will never come back from this type of
betrayal. Never. So if you will excuse me I have somewhere to
be,
”
I
say turning around and grabbing onto my suitcase.

“
Wait. You
’
re not leaving until
we straighten everything out. You have to at least listen. You have
to let us explain ourselves,
”
Ryan say grabbing onto my
shoulder.

Returning my hand to my pocket I
pull out my stun gun and click it.

“
If
you don
’
t get your filthy hands off of me,
I
’
m going to shove this up between your balls and
asshole and shock you until you shit in your pants.
Don
’
t try following me no matter were I go. I have this
and more. I won
’
t hesitate to use it
on anyone,
”
I
say.

“
Thats right, girl,
”
Charlie says patting my me on the
back.

“
Goodbye, Mrs. Callahan. I hate that things have to be this
way, but I have no other choice.
”

“
But
please what about the baby. I want to be in its
life,
”
she
cried.

“
You
can discuss that with those three. But I won
’
t be back ever.
I may send word and pictures of the baby, but I
won
’
t be back,
”
I say and quickly leave out of the
house with Charlie in tow, before anyone could say anything
else.

Charlie threw my suitcase into the
trunk of my car, and we were off to my apartment. We drove in
silence. When we pulled up to my place and got out; she went to
grab my bag from the trunk, but I told her to leave it.

“
What? Where are you going to go,
”
she
asked?

“
I
don
’
t know yet,
”
I shrugged as we walked up the stairs
to my apartment.

I
haven
’
t been here in a few weeks and I truly
don
’
t know why I kept it. But now I
’
m glad I
did.

“
But
what about the baby. You can
’
t have him on your
own.
”

I opened the door that we were now
standing in front of and stood to the side as she followed in
behind me so I could shut the door and be in the safety of my
house, before I answered her.

“
Well, I
’
ve been pretty much
taking care of myself my whole life. I know that it will be
extremely more difficult to do that with a child, but
I
’
m strong; I know I can do it. I have plenty of money
here at the apartment to take with me; and I can stop at the bank
tomorrow before I leave and get the rest,
”
I say absent- mindedly
as I walk around my apartment, trying to figure out what I needed
to take, what I wanted to take, and what could fit into my
car.

“
Don
’
t do this. I know you are hurting right now, but
you
’
re going to need someone to help
you,
”
Charlie pleaded with me.

“
I
know you are trying to help me right now, but I
can
’
t stay. You have to go home to your job and life.
Anyone I had here, I don
’
t have anymore. I
have no other choice but to leave.
”

“
But
Ryan, please. I don
’
t want anything to
happen to you or the baby. I love you. You are my best friend. I
know Mrs. Callahan will help you.
”

“
I
’
m sure she would, Charlie. But she is his mother. I
can
’
t ask her to put me before her own son. It
wouldn
’
t be right. I
’
m leaving. I know you
don
’
t like this; honestly I don
’
t like it
either. But I
’
m leaving. Now I
would prefer to be able to call you whenever I need my best friend
to lean on. If you don
’
t want that I will
still always love you,
”
I say crying as I stuffed all of my very
important papers and pictures into a plastic bin.