Rush (45 page)

Now she was back to selling pastries and filling customers’ coffee cups. And while before it had never bothered her, now she
was unsettled and she wanted more. More of a challenge. It was time for her to stop being afraid and to go out there and make her future. No one else was going to do that for her. Already she was perusing her career options. Looking at job openings that would fit her level of education and experience—not that she had much.

Maybe she could talk to Jace. Not about working for him. There was no way in hell she’d go back to work at HCM and have to face Gabe on a daily basis. Or God help her, whatever woman he replaced her with. That was asking way too much of her.

But Jace might have ideas or may even know other people that she could reach out to. They owned over a dozen hotels in the U.S. alone, not to mention their resorts overseas. She could work in any one of them and never have to worry about seeing Gabe.

That would require moving, and was she ready to do that?

She was used to living in the city. Being close to Jace. But she’d never made it on her own here. Jace had supported her. He’d bought her apartment. When had she ever become independent?

Maybe it was time to move out on her own and take over her own life. Make it or not make it, but she’d do it on her own merits.

As satisfying as the idea was in theory, it made her sad to think of leaving everything behind. Caroline. Jace. Ash. Her apartment. Her life.

Hell no. She wasn’t going to let Gabe drive her out of the city. She’d damn well find a better job here, and she’d move on and forget his ass.

That also sounded nice in theory, but she wasn’t buying the reality.

When she reached the door of her building, she saw in the reflection of the glass Gabe getting out of a car that was parked at the curb. And he was striding in her direction.

Oh
hell
no.

Without looking back—no matter how tempting it was to
drink the sight of him in—she pushed inside and lunged for the elevator. As it opened, she got in and punched the Close Door button. As she looked up, she saw Gabe brushing by the protesting doorman and hurrying for the elevator, a determined look on his face.

Close, close, close,
she silently begged.

The doors began to shut and Gabe lunged forward, but he was too late. Thank God. What the hell was he doing here anyway?

She got off the elevator and unlocked her apartment. It was silent inside, and she dropped her purse by the door. Caroline wouldn’t be home for a while and then she’d likely go to Vibe to see Brandon.

She jumped when a loud knock sounded at her door. Then she sighed. She’d seen the look on Gabe’s face and knew he wouldn’t just walk away because she’d thwarted him at the elevator. What the hell did he want anyway?

She stalked to the door and unlocked it, throwing it open to reveal Gabe standing in the hallway. Relief shone in his eyes and he started to step forward, but she blocked him with the door.

“What do you want?” she said bluntly.

“I need to talk to you, Mia,” he said.

She shook her head. “We have nothing to talk about.”

“You’re wrong, goddamn it. Let me in.”

She stuck her head out the door so he’d see her and know she was dead serious.

“Let me put it this way then. I don’t have anything to say to
you
,” she said in a quiet tone. “Nothing at all. I said everything I had to say at your apartment. It was your decision to let me walk away—hell, you
pushed
me away. I deserve better than that, Gabe, and I’m sure as hell not going to settle for less.”

She slammed the door and locked it again. Not wanting to hear if he knocked, she went into her bedroom and closed the
door. She was exhausted and all she wanted was a hot bath to warm her from the inside out.

But what she feared was that nothing would ever warm the chill caused by Gabe’s absence. Nothing except him.

• • •

The next day, Mia was serving a regular customer their favorite coffee when Gabe walked in and took a seat at the same table he’d occupied all those weeks ago. She couldn’t
believe
him. How was she supposed to work when he was right there in her space?

Her jaw clenched, she walked over and stared coldly at him.

“What are you doing here?”

He let his gaze wander over her, his eyes softening as he took in her features. Did he see how tired she was? How miserable? Was she wearing a neon sign advertising how unhappy she was without him?

“I’m not sleeping either, Mia,” he said softly. “I made a mistake. I fucked up. Give me a chance to make it right.”

She closed her eyes and curled her fingers into tight balls at her sides.

“Don’t screw this up for me, Gabe. Please. I have to have this job. Until I decide what I want to do, I have to work and I can’t have you here distracting me.”

He reached for one of those tightly fisted hands, and he pried her fingers loose. Then he drew her hand to his mouth and kissed her open palm.

“You have a job, Mia. It’s waiting for you. It’s not going anywhere.”

She snatched her hand back like she’d been burned.

“Just go, Gabe. Please. I can’t do this. You’re going to get me fired. If you want to make it
right
, then walk away and stay away.”

She was precariously close to breaking down. Her emotions
were so damn unstable. Why couldn’t she be strong? Why did she have to allow him to see what a mess she was?

She turned away, uncaring of whether it looked bad that she’d been rude to a customer. She had others to attend to.

But he sat there, watching her, his gaze steady as she tended to the other people in the shop. They came and went and still he sat there until she felt hunted. Stalked.

Finally she went into the back and asked Louisa for a break. She helped Greg with the orders while Louisa worked the front. An hour later when she ventured back up front, Gabe was gone.

She didn’t know whether she was relieved or disappointed. All she knew was there was a gaping hole in her heart she never had a hope of repairing.

When she trudged home that evening, she found a huge bouquet of flowers at her door. Sighing, she took the card and saw the scribbled note from Gabe.

I’m sorry. Please give me a chance to explain.

–Gabe

She had to bite back the childish urge to trash the flowers. They were beautiful, and she and Caroline would enjoy having them in the apartment. She would just pretend that someone else had given them to her.

She placed them on the counter and wondered why Gabe was making the effort. Why was he doing this? He’d been the one to say that a clean break was better. Why prolong it if he had no intention of making their relationship permanent? Like she wanted to go through this all over again down the road when he did get tired of her?

Talking with Jace and Ash openly about Gabe and his relationships had been eye-opening. She’d guessed or had a very good
idea of how he went about them. But during their stay in the Caribbean, the two had opened up and given her details she hadn’t known before.

Gabe always had a contract with the women he was with. She knew that. What she hadn’t known was the frequency of these women and the shortness of his relationships with them.

It had made her realize that she’d been on borrowed time with him.

She was lying facedown on her bed when Caroline came into her bedroom.

“Hey, Mia, who are the flowers from?”

“Gabe,” she muttered.

Caroline bounced onto the bed, her expression a mixture of
what the fuck
and irritation.

“Why is he sending you flowers, for God’s sake?”

Mia rolled onto her back. “Oh that’s only part of it. He was here last night. And then he showed up at La Patisserie today.”

“What the hell? Why?”

“I have no idea,” Mia said wearily. “To drive me crazy? Who knows? I slammed the door in his face last night. Today I just ignored him.”

“Good for you,” Caroline said in a savage tone. “Want me to go kick his ass?”

Mia laughed and then leaned up to hug her friend. “I love you, Caro. I’m so glad I have you.”

Caroline squeezed Mia back. “That’s what friends are for. And hey, if you decide to kill him, you know I’ll help you hide the body.”

Mia burst into laughter again, her heart lighter than just a moment before.

“Hey, what do you want to eat tonight? I was thinking about takeout, but if you wanted we could go down the street to the pub and hang out for a while.”

Caroline studied Mia intently. “Are you sure? I don’t mind cooking for us if you want to hang here.”

Mia shook her head. “No, let’s go out. I can’t stay here and mope over Gabe forever.”

As Mia stood up from the bed, Caroline went quiet for a moment and then she turned her serious gaze up to Mia.

“Maybe he wants you back, Mia. Have you considered that? Shouldn’t you at least hear him out?”

Mia’s lips turned down in scorn. “I told him that if he ever wanted me back he was going to have to crawl. He’s not crawling yet and hell will freeze over before I make it easy for him.”

chapter forty-three

By the week’s end, Mia was at a complete loss as to what to do about Gabe. He was at La Patisserie every single day for coffee and a croissant and he never came in at the same time, so it was impossible for her to avoid him by working the back.

He was a constant presence that was fraying her nerves. And her resistance.

And if that wasn’t enough, he bombarded her constantly with flowers and gifts. At work. At home.

Just yesterday a delivery person had brought in a huge arrangement of flowers to La Patisserie and embarrassed her in front of everyone by reading the note out loud.

Forgive me. I can’t live without you.

–Gabe

Today another delivery person had brought in a box with a pair of fur-lined leather gloves and a note card that read:

To keep your hands warm on the walk home.

–Gabe

Louisa and Greg were amused—thank God they weren’t pissed—and it had become a running joke with the regulars at La Patisserie as to what would be delivered next.

The weather had cleared up, but the cold had remained. The skies were bright blue without a cloud in sight and the wind blew gusty, a knife through her coat. She was grateful for the gloves as she navigated the sidewalks back to her apartment. Dusk was descending, each day growing shorter and shorter.

As she rounded the corner to walk the last block to her apartment, an electronic billboard atop a hotel caught her eye. How could it not?

In big, neon letters, flashing across the screen was:

I LOVE YOU, MIA. COME HOME.

GABE.

Tears pricked her eyelids. What was she supposed to do? He’d
never
said he loved her. Was it emotional manipulation for him to air his feelings to the world? And to put it on this billboard, by her apartment, where she couldn’t possibly miss the meaning? Come home. Not to her apartment. But to him.

It was driving her crazy.
He
was driving her crazy. And yet he hadn’t attempted to confront her directly again. Not since the last time when she’d told him to leave her alone. But he was still there. In her face. Always reminding her of his presence.

She was utterly baffled by this side of Gabe. It was a side he’d never allowed her to see—
anyone
to see.

She went into her apartment, exhausted and miserable. She was convinced she was coming down with something, but she wasn’t sure if it was true illness or whether it was merely a product of too many sleepless nights and her emotional devastation.

By the next morning, she couldn’t deny that she was truly ill.
She walked to work and went through the motions mechanically. By the afternoon, Louisa and Greg both were eyeing her with concern, and when she dumped an entire pot of coffee onto the floor, Louisa called her into the back.

She took Mia’s arm and then put her hand to her forehead.

“Good God, Mia, you’re burning up with fever. Why didn’t you say anything? You can’t work like this. Go home and go to bed.”

Mia didn’t even offer an argument. Thank God it was Friday and she wasn’t scheduled to work this weekend. An entire weekend in bed sounded next to heaven. And then she wouldn’t be subjected to whatever Gabe had delivered for the day. She could hide from him and the world and try to sort out this whole mess.

She couldn’t take it anymore. It was a gigantic weight pressing down on her.

She had every intention of taking a cab home, unable to bear the walk in her current state. But as she checked her watch, she groaned. Getting a cab at this hour would be next to impossible. They were all going off duty.

Sighing in resignation, she began the long walk home, cold settling into her bones. She was shaking, her teeth chattering, and the sidewalk blurred in her vision.

It took her twice as long as it normally did, and when she rounded the block and saw that damn billboard, she sighed in relief because it wasn’t far now.

Someone bumped into her and she lost her balance. She nearly caught herself, but then she was bumped from the other side, and she slid to her knees, tears welling. She didn’t even have the strength to get up and she was so close to her apartment.

She buried her face in her hands and let the tears escape.

“Mia? What the hell? Are you all right?”

Gabe. God, it was Gabe. His arm came around her, urging her to her feet.

“Good God, baby, what’s wrong?” he demanded. “Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you?”

“Sick,” she croaked out amid another storm of tears.

Her head hurt, her throat was on fire, and she was so cold and tired that she couldn’t bear the thought of walking another step.

Gabe cursed and then he swung her into his arms and strode rapidly toward her apartment building.