Rush (35 page)

“Mia, darling, you need the ice so it won’t swell.”

She reached up, taking the towel from him and then put a foot of space between them. He didn’t blame her and he didn’t fight her. It was far less than he deserved. He rose from the bed and paced a short distance away before turning to look at her again.

Gabe stood back, anxious and worried. Insecure. God, he wasn’t an insecure person and yet with Mia, he was riddled with uncertainty. He was seized by the enormity of his fuck-up. This wasn’t an
oops I’m sorry
, forgive and forget situation. He’d placed her in harm’s way. He’d allowed another man to
abuse
her when she was in his protection.

He didn’t know if he could or would ever forgive himself so how could he expect her to do the same?

He was still hovering when she loosened her hold on the towel and allowed it to slide down her neck. Her gaze was weary and defeated. It made him wince to see the light extinguished from her beautiful gaze.

“I’m tired,” she said softly.

And she did look utterly drained. Fatigue shadowed her face and dulled her eyes.

He’d wanted to talk to her. To beg her forgiveness. To explain to her that it would never happen again. But he wouldn’t push her. Not until she was ready. And it was evident that she had no desire to talk about the matter tonight. Maybe she was still coming to terms with it herself. Or maybe she was just working up the nerve to tell him to fuck off.

He nodded, a knot solidly lodged in his throat. He went to turn the lights off, leaving only the lamp at his bedside on.

Then he got into bed, unsure of whether she’d want him to touch her or not. When he was beneath the covers, he reached back to turn off the lamp, dousing the room in darkness. Only the glow from the city lights illuminated the curtains.

He turned back over, automatically reaching for her. But she’d already turned on her side, facing away from him. She didn’t reject his touch, but neither did she embrace it. Still, he curled his arm around her middle, locking her solidly to his chest. He wanted her to know he was here. And God, more than that he needed the assurance that she was here.

After a moment, she let out a breathy sigh and he felt her relax into his hold. Her soft even breathing filled the room signaling her sleep. Or at least that she was on her way.

But he didn’t sleep. Didn’t close his eyes. Because every time he tried, all he saw was the look on Mia’s face when another man had forced his touch on her.

chapter thirty-one

The next morning when Mia awakened, Gabe wasn’t in bed with her. She felt the loss, but she was also relieved because she wasn’t sure she could face him yet. There were too many things she had to say and she wasn’t entirely certain how she was going to say them. Maybe that made her a coward. But she knew that what she had to say could very well mean the end of her relationship with Gabe.

She was still lying under the covers, hugged up to Gabe’s pillow, deciding whether to move or not when Gabe appeared in the doorway, a breakfast tray in his hands.

“Are you hungry?” he asked in a quiet, serious tone. “I ordered breakfast.”

She was surprised by how nervous he seemed. There was worry in his eyes and genuine concern for her. And regret shone, darkening his gaze every time he looked at her. Her heart twisted and she closed her eyes to block out images from the night before.

“Mia?”

She opened her eyes to find him standing by the bed still holding the tray. She pushed herself upward, propping pillows behind her back so she could sit up to eat.

“Thank you,” she murmured when he placed the tray across her legs.

He eased down on the bed beside her and thumbed over her bruised lip. She winced when he hit a particularly tender spot, and his gaze was immediately apologetic.

“Will you be able to eat?” he asked in a low voice.

She nodded and then looked down and picked up her fork, no longer able to hold his gaze.

“I’ve cancelled all our business engagements.”

Her gaze shot upward, a frown gathering her brows. Before she could respond, he continued, as if she hadn’t reacted at all.

“I’ve arranged our flight back home for tomorrow morning first thing. But today, I’m going to take you to see Paris. The Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, the Louvre and whatever else you want to see. I have reservations for dinner at seven. A bit early by Paris standards, but we depart early and I want you to be rested.”

“That sounds wonderful,” she said huskily.

The joy and relief in his eyes was staggering. He opened his mouth as if to say something further, and then he clamped it shut again.

She couldn’t imagine why he’d cancelled his business engagements. The sole purpose of their visit was business and the upcoming hotel. But a day in Paris with Gabe was something straight out of one of her fantasies.

No business. No strange men. Nothing but the two of them having fun and enjoying their time together. It sounded like heaven. And for a brief time, she could ignore the strain between them. She could pretend that last night didn’t happen.

It wouldn’t go away. It had to be addressed. But she’d take the respite offered, and she’d face what it was she needed to say to Gabe later. Because when that time came, it might well be the end of their relationship.

While Gabe watched, his gaze lingering on her, worry still evident in his eyes, she hurriedly ate, wanting to have as much time to explore the city as possible. One day to take in Paris? Impossible. But she’d take as big a chunk out of it as she could.

After she finished, she dressed and pulled her hair back into a clip. She didn’t bother with makeup. She’d brought her favorite pair of jeans and now she was grateful she had.

“It’s cold out this morning. Did you bring something warm to wear?” Gabe asked.

He was leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom, watching as she pulled on her jeans.

“We can always go buy what you need. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

She smiled. “I have a sweater. And if we’re walking a lot, that’ll keep me warm.”

His breath left his throat in an audible rush. “God you’re beautiful when you smile.”

Surprised by the compliment and by the absolute sincerity in his voice, she smiled more broadly and then ducked her head self-consciously.

After pulling on her socks and her tennis shoes, she retrieved the button-up sweater and put it on, leaving it open in the front.

Gabe was dressed and ready, and they headed down to the lobby of the hotel where Gabe got a map and spent a few moments speaking to the concierge. After that, they were on their way.

They left the hotel, and Mia sucked in her breath at the beauty of the day. There was a crispness to the air that immediately refreshed her. There couldn’t be a more perfect day to sight-see in Paris. The sky was brilliantly blue without a single cloud to mar it.

After the first block, Mia shivered when a brisk wind with a biting chill blew down the street. Gabe frowned and then broke away, heading for one of the vendors that lined the block.

He chose a brightly colored scarf, handed Euros to the man and then returned to where Mia stood on the sidewalk. He looped the scarf around her neck, covering the lobes of her ears with the warm material.

“Better?” he asked.

She smiled. “Perfect.”

He gathered her to his side, holding her tightly against his body as they continued their walk. Mia sucked in deep breaths, reveling in the sheer beauty of the city. She stopped often, looking into the windows of shops or taking time to browse the street vendors. Through it all Gabe was patient and attentive. If Mia so much as looked as though she liked something, Gabe was quick to purchase it. As a result, they now carried several shopping bags with them.

The view from the Eiffel Tower was magnificent. They stood staring down at the city of Paris, the wind ruffling Mia’s hair and tugging at the ends of the scarf.

Impulsively, she went up on tiptoe and pressed a kiss to his mouth. His eyes darkened with surprise and what looked like relief.

As her heels hit the ground again she grinned ruefully. “It’s always been a dream of mine to be kissed on top of the Eiffel Tower.”

“Then let’s do it right,” Gabe said gruffly.

He dropped the bags he was holding and pulled her into his arms. He cupped her chin, tilting her head up so her mouth was angled perfectly for his. Then his lips slid warmly over hers, his tongue brushing lightly, coaxing her to open to his advance.

She sighed into his mouth and closed her eyes, soaking up every second of the experience. Here in one of the most romantic cities in the world, she was fulfilling a teenage dream. What woman wouldn’t want to be kissed atop the Eiffel Tower?

The rest of the day was more fulfillment of her most vivid
romantic fantasies. They saw the sights, laughed, smiled and took in the wonders of the city. Gabe was so very tender and he spoiled her endlessly.

At one point, he called for a driver to take their bags back to the hotel because they’d become too much for them to carry.

And at the day’s end, he took her to a restaurant overlooking the Seine. Dusk had descended, and all the lights twinkled and popped against the skyline. She was tired from all the walking, but there had never been a more perfect day.

As they waited for their entrees, Gabe reached underneath the table and propped her feet on his lap. Unlacing her shoes, he pulled them off and began to massage each foot.

She groaned in sheer pleasure as he pressed into her arches and rubbed the soles.

“We’ll take a cab back to the hotel,” he said. “You’ve walked enough today. Your feet will likely hurt tomorrow.”

“They hurt now,” she said ruefully. “But this has been the most fabulous day, Gabe. I can’t thank you enough for it.”

He sobered instantly. “No need to thank me, Mia. I’d do damn near anything to make you smile.”

His gaze was so serious, his eyes intent. Every time he’d looked at her today, there had been a softness that made her heart squeeze just a bit. Almost as if he cared for her. Beyond just as a sexual object.

Their food came and Mia dug in with gusto, even though they’d snacked on delicious pastries, breads and cheeses the entire day. She slowed toward the end of the meal, because as wonderful as the day had been, she knew that when they returned to the hotel that it would be time to face the issue they were currently avoiding.

She wasn’t in any hurry to end the day. It would be a memory she would savor her entire life. No matter what happened in the future, she would never forget her time in Paris with Gabe.

When it came time to go, Gabe took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers, and they walked out to the patio overlooking the river. A dinner cruise floated by, the lights twinkling festively.

It was a gorgeous night. Chilly. Heralding the coming winter.

Overhead, a full moon was rising, just barely peeking over the horizon. She sighed, taking in the view, the boats, the couples walking along the pathway paralleling the river. Yes, it had been a perfect day and a perfect evening.

Gabe pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her to keep her warm as they watched the activity on the river. He kissed her temple and then tucked her head beneath his chin.

An ache began in her chest that wouldn’t go away. If only things could be between them this way all the time. It was a hope—a dream—that wouldn’t go away. She closed her eyes and savored the moment. The feel of him and their closeness.

He seemed as reluctant as she was to end the evening. He tucked her hand into his and guided her toward the taxi queue just down the block. A few minutes later, they were on their way back to the hotel.

Back to the reality that awaited them.

chapter thirty-two

Mia sat on the bed, one of Gabe’s T-shirts pulled down her thighs nearly to her knees. Gabe was in the shower and she waited nervously for him to come to bed. It had taken her time to figure out exactly what she wanted to say. She hadn’t wanted to react too quickly when her emotions were scattered. She hadn’t wanted to do or say things she’d later regret. This was too important.

But now she’d gathered her courage and she was ready to confront Gabe. Not with an ultimatum. But with the truth.

The door opened and he came out, a towel hung loosely at his waist. His hair was damp and moisture glistened on his upper body. He was…beautiful. There was no other word for it.

The towel slipped as he reached into his suitcase for his underwear, and she got a prime view of his ass and when he turned, his cock, impressive even at complete rest.

She averted her gaze, feeling guilty that she was so unapologetically eating him with her eyes. She didn’t want to get distracted.

When he came to the bed, she caught her breath and plunged forward. If she didn’t get it out there, she’d never say all the things she needed to get off her chest. It was better to just say it, no matter how inelegant her wording.

“I
hated
last night,” she said bluntly, her words soft and trembling.

He closed his eyes briefly, pausing in his descent into bed. He perched instead on the edge, keeping a short distance between the two of them.

“I know,” he said quietly.

She continued, knowing she still had more to say—more that she needed to say.

“I
hated
him touching me. I know what I agreed to, Gabe. I know I signed a contract. And I know I said I wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea, or at least experimenting. But I don’t want anyone else but you touching me. I felt violated. I felt
dirty
. And I don’t want to ever feel that way about my relationship with you.”

“Oh God, baby, no,” he whispered.

His expression was stricken and his eyes wounded.

And still she continued, unwilling to let him speak yet.

“I don’t give a damn what the contract says,” she said hoarsely. “I hate that thing right now. The only man I want even looking at me is you. Not someone you decide to let borrow your plaything.”