Rush (18 page)

I glanced up at the sky and rain fell in
my face. Our conversation had so absorbed my attention I hadn’t even noticed
the water falling on me.

“Let’s go back to the coffee place. I
think they’ll let us in.”

“Okay.” She nodded, a little shy. “Yes,
I’d like that.”

“All right.”

They didn’t even seem to notice us as we
came back into the restaurant and chose a table. My coffee was still hot, but
Caroline’s cake looked mushy with the rainwater it had absorbed. I got up and
bought her another piece.

“Thanks,” she said when I put it in
front of her.

“No problem. The first piece didn’t look
edible.”

“What, you don’t like chocolate cake
soup?”

We laughed and it sounded forced. Then
we sat without talking as we took exploratory sips of our respective coffees.

“Have you seen Retro-girl lately?” I
said into the awkward silence.

“No. I haven’t seen her since the day at
the student union.”

“That’s good, I guess.”

Right. We stared at each other for
another minute or so.

“I’m sorry Trent is so rude to you,”
Caroline said. “I tried to get him to go to coffee with you, but he just got
mad at me.”

My forehead puckered at the bizarre
thought. “Coffee?”

“Yeah. I thought it would be neutral if
we met here, or some other place like it. You know, so you could maybe get on
better terms with each other.”

I didn’t want to embarrass her by
smiling at the idea, but it was so unlikely, so improbable I couldn’t help
myself. “Um...that’s sweet of you, Caroline, but I think we’re good the way we
are.”

“That’s what he said.”

“I guess Trent and I agree on one thing,
then.”

“It just seems sad, you know?” Her dark
eyes were soft with concern. “I don’t like thinking of you being alone.”

I could feel the heat in my face. “Why?
You hardly even know me.”

She blushed too. “I don’t have to know
you well to be worried about you, do I?”

“I don’t know. Evidently not.”

“People need families. That’s all.”

“I haven’t had a family of origin since
I was ten. Not one I wanted, anyway.” Fred was my family now, and he wasn’t
even alive. And I had Brad and Marie. They were all I needed.

“Family of origin?” She sounded puzzled.

“My foster parents and my working circle
are my family now.”

“Oh.” Her eyes were wide and watchful. “I
didn’t know you had a foster family.”

“They helped me get off the street.”

She pushed a bite of cake around her
plate. “What’s it like to be alone?”

I shrugged. “It is what it is. I haven’t
known anything else, so I can’t really tell you. I hitchhiked west to Seattle
and like I said, I was on the streets for a while before I met Brad and Marie.
They took me in, helped me get my GED and a job. When I had enough money, I
decided to go back to school.” That was more than I’d told anyone about my life
in a very long time. I felt like I’d taken off all my clothes and done a series
of naked back-flips or something.

“You’re very independent.”

“Yeah. I am.”

She still looked worried. “Do you miss
them? Your family of origin, I mean.”

“No.” Kinda hard to miss people who
despise you.

“Oh.” Her shoulders slumped a little. “That’s...too
bad.”

“You don’t need to worry about me or try
to fix me. I’m fine. Honest.”

Her gaze shot to mine. “I’m not trying
to fix you.”

“Good.” I hated it when women thought
they could change me, make me into some domesticated animal who would fetch
their slippers for them. That wasn’t me. I’d been on my own too long for that
kind of shit. Even before I’d run away, I’d been essentially on my own.

“So, um, you believe in ghosts.” She
gave me an embarrassed-looking smile.

“Yeah. Why?”

“I’ve just never met anyone who was open
about it. It’s...unusual.”

How much could I tell her without
freaking her out? I didn’t want her running away and screaming, or more likely
since this was her room, kicking me out. Some people got extremely worked up
when they found out what I did.

“I’m interested in paranormal phenomena,”
I said after a pause. It was the most neutral way I could think of to describe
it.

“Do you believe all that stuff they do
on those ghost TV shows?”

“I think they exaggerate a lot of stuff
on those shows. But that doesn’t mean ghosts aren’t real.”

She seemed to ponder that for a minute. “Okay.
I guess that makes sense. It’s just...in my family, nobody believes in that
stuff. They make fun of it.”

“People tend to make fun of things they
don’t understand. Especially if they’re afraid.”

Her brown eyes met mine. “Yeah. That
sounds reasonable.”

“I usually don’t talk to people about it
if I know they won’t understand. It’s easier that way.”

Caroline smiled. “I know exactly what
you mean. I tried to tell my parents about Retro-girl and they laughed at me.”

She kept smiling at me and I wanted,
more than anything, to go to her and tilt her face up and kiss her. The only
thing that stopped me was Trent. It’s not that I didn’t want to hurt my
stepbrother. Frankly, after everything he’d done to me, he had it coming. But I
wouldn’t do that to her—make her choose between us.

Something in her expression told me she
might be having similar thoughts. She twined her fingers together, her hands
moving nervously against each other, blond curls sliding down over her face.
She had delicate hands, slender fingers, the nails unpainted. Suddenly I wanted
so badly to feel them on my skin that I started to shake.

I should leave.

Instead, I got out of the booth and went
around to her side, sliding in next to her. “I’m glad I was there to help you
out the night of the party,” I said in a low voice.

“You are?”

“When I saw you out there with those
guys, I was scared for you.” I reached out and took her top hand.

She didn’t pull away like I expected her
to. My thumb stroked across the smooth, tender skin of her hand, the fine bones
beneath. She felt warm.

Her body inclined toward me. I eased a
little closer, keeping her hand in mine. All I could think about was that kiss
we’d had and how much I wanted another.

“I’m glad you were there,” she said. “I
was terrified.”

“I would have killed them if they’d hurt
you.” That probably wasn’t the best thing to say, considering my background,
but she didn’t seem to think less of me for it.

She bit her lip. “Whenever I ask Trent
to take me home, he thinks I’m being stupid. He doesn’t like having to do it.”

“If you were mine,” I said, hardly
believing the words coming out of my mouth, “I would always protect you.”

Caroline glanced up at me through thick
blond lashes. “That’s sweet of you to say.”

I leaned closer, all the while screaming
silently at myself to stop. Leave. Like an idiot, I didn’t listen to myself.
Her lips were so perfect, so soft-looking as they parted on an in-breath. My
hand came up to cradle the side of her face as I bent down. Touched my mouth to
hers.

Part of me thought she might slap me. Or
push me away. Instead, she softly kissed me back. Her free hand came up to
clasp the back of my neck, under my hair.

By now, my heart pounded so hard I felt
lightheaded. My cock shoved at the inside of my jeans like it wanted to climb
out and take care of matters on its own. I stroked my thumb over the silky skin
of her cheek and sighed against her mouth. Her lips opened beneath mine and I
pushed my tongue into her mouth.

Caroline gave a little moan as I tasted
her. She angled her head, sweeping her tongue across mine. She tasted of the
mocha she’d been drinking.

I let go of her hand so I could pet her
back. Somehow my hand found its way along her rib cage to her hip, the soft
flare that I found so enticing.

Her hands shoved at my chest. She wanted
me to stop? The shoving continued as she pulled away from me. Panting, I let
her go. It hurt. My whole body was focused on one thing only, and she wasn’t
going to let me have it. Not that we could have done anything real in a booth
in the coffee house, but still.

She scooted away from me on the bench
seat. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

I hung my head. Damn. “I understand.”

“I like you, Max. I really do. But Trent
and I—well, I’m not the kind of girl—”

“I said I understand. You don’t have to
explain.” I stood up, unable to look at her. “I’d better go. I’ll see you
around.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Her voice was just above a
whisper.

I don’t know what she looked like as I
left the restaurant. Kissing her again had been a dumbass thing to do, but I
hadn’t been able to stop myself. I wanted to do it over and over.

Chapter 15

Caroline

Paige and I met at our usual spot in the
cafe on the second floor of the student union. She had her black hair up in a
messy French twist; she wore a pink twin set over skinny jeans and a pair of
hot pink ballet flats. In that outfit, she put my sloppy ponytail, jeans and
hoodie to shame. I sat down across from her and gave her the once-over.

“You look different,” I said.

“I’m meeting Dan later. We’re going to
dinner and some other stuff.” She giggled. “He’s awesome. I really like him.”

Paige had broken up with her long-time
boyfriend last winter after he’d cheated on her, so it had been a while since
she’d dated.

“I’m happy for you. What’s he like?”

“Super hot. He’s an engineering major
and he likes camping.” She wrinkled her nose. “Not my thing, obviously, but
maybe I can learn to like it.”

I’d never been much for camping, either,
although to be fair my family had done very little of it. I hadn’t had much
opportunity to experience it.

“You never know until you try,” I said.

“So true. How are you and Trent doing?”

I took a long swig of my coffee and gave
a noncommittal shrug. “We’re okay, I guess.”

“Now that’s enthusiasm.”

“I saw him kissing Tiffani.”

Her eyes almost popped out of her head. “What?
Tiffani? Oh my God, tell me you’re kidding.”

“Nope. Not kidding. He apologized and
said it’ll never happen again.”

Paige groaned. “That’s what they always
say.”

“Yeah. Well, it pissed me off so much I
went home early and met Max on the way.”

“Yum.”

I blushed and tried not to show it.
Unfortunately, I have no clue how to control blushes so my efforts were
useless. “He was really nice.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet.” Paige laughed. “You
should see your face.”

Leaning across the table toward her, I
whispered, “We kissed.”

This time, her eyes popped and her mouth
fell open. “Say that again.”

“We kissed. Twice. It was...really good.
Incredibly good. I didn’t know kissing could be like that.” I kept my voice low
in case one of Trent’s spies might be listening. Which was totally, utterly
ridiculous. Trent didn’t have spies and the fact I was so paranoid about him
finding out was probably just an indication of how guilty I felt.

“Wow.” There was reverence in Paige’s
voice. “You finally found one.”

“One what?”

“A guy who can turn you on.”

Yeah. Yay, me. “And it’s the absolutely
wrong guy. The wrongest guy in the world, Paige. Why did it have to be Max?”

“I don’t know. These things are a
mystery.”

“Do you feel the same way about Dan?”

“I think so. It’s been pretty incredible
so far.” She smiled with a secretive glint in her eye. “I’m spending the night
with him tonight. At his place. He has his own apartment.”

“Ooh. Big step,” I said.

“Yes, it is. I don’t think we’re going
to get much sleep.” She tilted her head. “What are you doing tonight?”

“I’m on my own. Trent is going out with
some friends. Girls not allowed.”

***

My delivery pizza was cold. I’d only
eaten two slices, so I stacked the rest and crammed it into my tiny dorm-size
fridge for the next day. With Paige at Dan’s and Trent out with his buddies, I
was on my own tonight. It was just me, cold pizza, and a book.

Instead of studying, I went for a
romance novel on my tablet. Curled up on my bed, book in hand, I escaped into
someone else’s problems and tried to forget my own.

I’d been reading for a couple of hours
when the temperature in my room dropped suddenly. It was like the normal, warm
air had been completely exchanged with the air from a walk-in refrigerator.
Shivering, I pulled my throw blanket around my shoulders. This building didn’t
have air conditioning, so the sudden drop in temperature didn’t make any sense.

The atmosphere in the room grew heavy.
There was an odd feeling, almost like a pressure all over my body, and a faint
buzzing sensation in my head. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. I
suddenly had the idea someone was with me. Watching me.

My pulse raced and my palms began to
sweat. I didn’t want to turn my head. I didn’t want to see whoever or whatever
it was. The intruder couldn’t be human, could it? Because I’d been in here for
hours with the door locked and there really weren’t any hiding places big
enough to conceal a grown human being.

As the feeling persisted, grew stronger,
I forced myself to turn my head. To look.

She sat in my desk chair, watching me.
This time, she wore a plain, off-white cable-knit sweater with her
bell-bottoms. Her perfectly straight hair hung loose around her shoulders. Her
face was a sickening bluish-white color and her lips were blue.

I screeched. She smiled and it was
ghastly, grotesque, with those blue lips. God, if this was the kind of thing
Aunt Jo saw, then it was no wonder she started drinking.

The girl mouthed a word. It looked like
the same word she’d tried to say before, and I still couldn’t make it out.

“I’m sorry,” I gasped. “I can’t
understand what you’re saying.”

She repeated herself.

I shook my head, my whole body shaking. “I
don’t read lips.”

The girl lifted a hand and pointed at
me. Her lips moved again, in a different pattern this time. It looked like...

“Max?” I said.

She nodded and repeated his name again.

“You w-want Max?”

Another nod.

“O-okay. I’ll—um—tell him f-for you.”

The girl vanished. I didn’t even blink
this time. She just disappeared. The air temperature immediately returned to
normal. I could feel the warmth of it on my skin, but I was still so cold I
kept the blanket around me.

My hands shook as I got off the bed.
That had been real. Either it was real or I needed some major psychiatric
intervention, and for now I was going with real.

She wanted Max. Max, the supposed
magician and conjurer of spirits. After that kiss we’d had in the coffee house,
I was nervous about talking to him. I’d pushed him away, told him no. How was I
going to call him up and ask him for help? The thought made me cringe inside.

I didn’t have to go right to Max,
though. Maybe Trent would come and help me figure out what to do. I
speed-dialed him.

“Yeah?” he said, sounding annoyed. “What’s
up?” In the background, loud music played and male voices laughed.

“You’ll never guess what happened to me
just now,” I said, pacing as I talked to him.

“You know I’m busy. Can’t this wait?”

“No. I saw the ghost again. In my room.”

Trent snorted.

“No, really. I did. It scared the hell
out of me.”

He sighed audibly. “Baby, get real.”

“Don’t you even want to know what
happened?”

“Not really. I’d like to go back to my
pool game.”

I laughed a little, even though it didn’t
seem especially funny to me. “It was pretty freaky.”

“I’m sure it was.”

“I’m kind of still scared. Can you come
over and keep me company?”

“No. No way. I’m not cutting my night
short because you have an overactive imagination.” The hostility in his voice
took me aback.

“Aren’t you at least concerned?”

“No. You’re fine. Call Paige if you can’t
stop worrying.”

“Paige is spending the night with her
boyfriend,” I said.

“Well, I’m busy. Find someone else.”

“There isn’t anyone else.” My hand
tightened convulsively on the phone. “I can’t believe you’re being so uncaring.
What if someone tried to break into my room? Would you worry then?”

“No offense, Caroline, but doesn’t that
aunt of yours see ghosts and shit? What was her name? Janine? Jerri?”

“Jo,” I said, feeling like I was shrinking
inside.

“Maybe you should stay away from that
kind of thing. You know? You don’t want to end up like her.”

That was pretty much the same thing my
parents had told me ever since I’d been a little girl and Aunt Jo had gone off
the deep end.

“I’m not like Jo,” I said. “She’s crazy
and an alcoholic.”

“I’m just saying you don’t know how it
started with her. It’s probably not a good idea to encourage it.”

“I’m surprised you want to be with me if
you think I’m on the edge of losing my mind,” I snapped. “And I wasn’t
encouraging it. It happened on its own, without any encouragement from me.”

“I’m just saying—”

“That even thinking about ghosts could
push me over the edge.”

Trent gave a long-suffering sigh. “That’s
not what I meant. At all.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think you
believed in that spooky crap anyway.”

“I don’t. Didn’t.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m
not sure what I believe in anymore.”

“Well, ghosts aren’t real. They’re just
people imagining things and wishing they were real. That’s all. So don’t worry
about it.”

“Okay.” Whatever. Clearly, he didn’t
understand and wasn’t about to try.

“I’m going back to my game now. You’ll
be fine.” He ended the call.

My head hurt. My boyfriend, who claimed
to love me, couldn’t be bothered to cut short a pool game and a night of
drinking with his buds to help me. He was...he was...I didn’t know what he was.
But I was furious with him, that much was clear. He seemed to think he could do
and say whatever he wanted and I’d always be here waiting for him.

Those days were over. I wasn’t waiting
for Trent anymore. He didn’t deserve it.

I could still feel a lingering sense of
presence in the air, like Retro-girl was waiting for me to keep my promise.
Like she was on the other side of some invisible barrier, where she could watch
me. Monitor me.

The ghost had asked specifically for
Max. I had to call him, no matter how squirmy it made me feel. I turned my
phone on again. My hands were shaking and moist and I almost dropped it. My
fingers trembled on the screen as I called up my contact list. Max’s number was
listed right after Trent’s. The call connected, and The Decemberists’ “Rise To
Me” played in my ear.

“Caroline?” Max sounded more wary than
surprised.

“Can you come over tonight?” I blurted
before I could lose my nerve.

There was a long pause.

“What’s going on? You sound upset.”

“I saw that ghost again.”

“I’ll be right over.”

No questions asked. No mockery. Trent
had given me all kinds of grief, but not Max. Instantly, I felt better, less
alone.

I popped off the bed and paced, holding
onto my elbows. The air still held an icy edge, although I could tell it had
returned more or less to its normal temperature. That eerie sense of being
watched lingered too, and I didn’t know if it was real or only my imagination.

The ghost had been real. I was sure of
that now. But was she really still here, lurking in some other dimension where
I couldn’t see her? I felt like she was, but I really didn’t know for sure.
Maybe Max could tell me.

I didn’t like being here alone. With
her. I could go down to one of the lounges to wait. The first floor, maybe, or
just stand by the front door so I could catch him when he came in. That way I’d
be sure not to miss him. Because if I stayed here by myself, I was going to go
nuts from the tension.

There was a knock at my door. I jumped
to open it. Max. I almost sagged to the floor in relief when I saw him. He wore
the same leather jacket he’d had on the night of the party, and he looked way
too sexy.

“How did you get here so fast?” I said,
staring at him.

“I was in the area.”

“That’s weird. Do you know how weird
that is?”

He smiled wryly. “Yeah, I do. I have
pretty good intuition.”

“So this is like that other night? You
just had a feeling you needed to be somewhere around here?”

“Yep. Do you want me to come in?”

“Yes. Sure.” I stepped back from the
door. “Thank you for coming.”

“No problem. So this is the third time
you’ve seen her?”

I shut the door. “Actually, it’s the
fourth. She made an appearance last Sunday morning, too.”

“Okay.” He walked slowly through the
tiny open space of my room, an odd sort of detached look on his face, as if he
heard music no-one else could hear. “What was that like?”