Rush (13 page)

“I don’t see myself as a queen of any
kind,” I said dryly.

Marie frowned at me. “It’s metaphorical,
as you know perfectly well. You are in an emotional place. There is an
emotional woman who is very close to you. A woman who is having powerful
psychic experiences of her own. She can look into your soul and divine your
true nature. She can make or break you.”

This immediately made me think of
Caroline. Even the hair on the woman in the picture was blond like hers. But
why did the Queen of Cups appear in my place? Shouldn’t she be in another
position, like friends and family or the future?

“Friends and family,” Marie said. “The
Page of Cups. A young child, perhaps? Someone very close to you, with a
powerful emotional connection to you.” She closed her eyes. I could see them
fluttering back and forth beneath the lids, as if she followed an inner vision.
“This person is...this is the person, or spirit, who is trying to reach you. I
feel it very strongly. It’s a boy and he’s trying to reach you because he has
some very important information for you. It’s personal. He knows you. I think
it’s Carter.”

Her eyes popped open and she stared at
me. My throat closed up and my mouth went dry. Carter was trying to reach me?
But why? What could we possibly have to say to each other?

“It’s Carter, Max. Your brother is
trying to talk to you.”

I licked bone-dry lips. “Why?”

She studied the cards. “I’m not sure.
But I think it has something to do with the reversed Six of Cups and maybe the
Hanged Man. It’s something in your past.”

“It would have to be in my past, because
Carter is from my past.”

Marie shook her head. “Not necessarily.
He could be like Fred, trying to help you in your current life. But, judging by
the other cards in the spread, I’m convinced it has to do with the past. Let’s
see what the final two cards have to say.”

My palms were slick with sweat. I’d
never been nervous during a reading before and it was a strange feeling.
Because I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what the other cards were going to tell
me. The gist of the reading so far...well, I wasn’t sure what it was trying to
say. Stop looking for revenge? Go for Caroline? Give her up? What did Carter
want from me?

“Hopes and fears,” Marie said, turning
over the next-to-last card. “Justice. You long for justice, but you fear it
too. This is because you don’t understand your true nature or your true place
in the story. Justice is a two-edged sword and those who wish to wield it must
realize it can turn on them. Those who have impure motives beware. They can be
harmed as badly as those against whom they seek justice. In your case, it’s
surrounded by the Page of Cups and the reversed Four of Swords, so I believe
this is justice in favor of you.”

Still, it was a timely reminder that
justice could cut both ways. Did I want to risk my revenge twisting and coming
back on me? Was it worth the possible fall-out?

Hell, yes. It would be worth it. Worth
anything to see Trent squirm.

“Last one,” she said. “This is for all
and everything, the final outcome.”

She flipped over the card and I stared
at the image, baffled. It was a Medieval tomb with a carved stone knight lying
still and silent on top of it, a nobleman’s tomb, the kind you would see if you
visited an ancient European cathedral.

“Reversed Four of Swords. Your days of
cold isolation are over. You are waking up, coming out of your trance. You are
rejoining the living.”

Marie took a deep breath and met my
gaze. “You need to get in touch with Carter and find out exactly what he has to
tell you. There’s an important truth about your past that you need to know.
Only when you find it will you have peace and freedom.”

She wanted me to face the little boy I’d
killed. I rubbed the back of my neck. “I don’t know if I can do it, Marie.”

“I know. Nobody said it would be easy.”
She tapped the Four of Swords. “But, Max, this is good. This is so hopeful. It’s
a wonderful sign of healing.”

“Is it?” I wasn’t so sure.

“Marie knows what she’s talking about,”
Brad murmured.

“I’m not questioning her ability. It’s
just hard to look at that card and see healing.”

“Well, that’s why it’s reversed,” he
said. “Instead of being a sign of unhealthy withdrawal, it’s indicating that
you’re going to open up more.”

“Get in touch with my feelings?” I tried
to keep the smirk out of my voice, but it did creep in a little around the
edges.

“There’s nothing wrong with feelings,”
he said. “Everyone has them. Either you deal with them or they deal with you.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that ignoring them doesn’t
make them go away. They just move underground, so to speak, where they
influence everything you do, only you’re not aware of how they’re affecting
you. And if you’re not aware of a problem, you can’t do anything to solve it.”

I blew out a huge breath full of the
tension that had accumulated during the reading. “I suppose I can see that.”

“Grudgingly.” Brad’s eyes were crinkled
at the corners. His eyes were smiling, although his mouth remained serious.

I nodded. “Grudgingly.”

Marie gathered her cards and put them
back in her box. She wrapped the box in a scrap of indigo silk and set it on
the table again. “Well,” she said, “who wants oatmeal cookies?”

Chapter 11

Caroline

The music was so loud I could feel it in
the soles of my feet. I could feel it in my belly. Bass notes seemed to thunder
through the floorboards, making me suspect it was playing somewhere in the
basement of the frat house. It was a last blowout before Dead Week began and
everyone had to bury their heads in their notes. We wouldn’t come up for air
until after finals.

“What would you like to drink?” Trent
said.

“Beer.” Not my favorite, but less likely
to give me a headache than the sweet garbage they were serving in those
ever-present red plastic cups.

“The bar is over here.” He led me toward
the kitchen.

People already packed the fraternity
house and the conversation alone was deafening. I’d promised to go to this
party with Trent, although I wasn’t much of a partier. He wanted to go. It was
important, and I was his girlfriend so I had to accompany him. So, here I was.

The theme for the party was Las Vegas—don’t
ask me why—and I’d dressed the part in a black satin cocktail dress and
skyscraper black heels that were already killing my feet. Maybe if I practiced
wearing heels, they wouldn’t be so difficult for me to handle, right? But that
would mean I’d have to wear them, and as I said before, I hated wearing heels.

But, hey, at least tonight I didn’t feel
under-dressed.

They’d set up gaming tables in the
living and dining rooms, so I figured the dancing was probably downstairs,
where the music seemed to be located.

“Let’s dance,” I shouted at Trent.

“Maybe later. I want to talk to some
people first.”

I followed him as he wound his way
between clumps of partiers, looking for whomever he wanted to meet. He paused
and spoke to Greg Talbot, although I couldn’t hear a word they said because of
all the other noise. Then it was on to the next group, and the next.

I tipped back my beer. It was a cheap,
mass-produced lager, but it was cold and wet and it helped take my mind off the
boredom of tagging along after Trent.

Too bad Paige hadn’t been able to come
tonight, but she’d had a dinner date with some guy named Dan. While I hoped she
had a good time with him, I was selfish enough to miss her company. She would
have made this party bearable.

So would Max, except I couldn’t picture
him in this setting. Unless he were fighting with Trent, maybe.

My feet really were killing me. I tugged
on Trent’s sleeve. “I need to sit down.”

He looked slightly annoyed. “Okay. Find
a spot. I’ll get back to you.”

Right. I shrugged and moved off, looking
for a chair. I wandered through the dining room, where all chairs were taken,
and into the living room. People sprawled on the couches and the floor, and
every other available surface. Everyone seemed to already know each other,
whereas I was the stranger.

How had I managed to pledge a sorority
while being such a sorry introvert?

I located a tiny plot of floorspace
under a window and lowered myself into it, moving awkwardly because of the
heels. My beer was almost gone and I was starting to feel pretty buzzed. Yeah,
I’m a lightweight.

I should have picked up another one
before I found my resting spot, but I was here now. I didn’t want to get up and
lose my place.

“Hey, you.”

I looked up to see Greg Talbot standing
over me with a beer in one hand and a red plastic cup in the other.

“Hi, Greg.”

“Looking for company?”

“Sure.”

He plopped himself down in front of me
and held out the cup. “You look lonely.”

“Yeah.” I took the cup from him. Really
I was only bored. But this was his fraternity, so I wasn’t going to actually
say that.

I tossed back a gulp of the mixed drink.
Gag. It was cheap sugary drink mix in red flavor with some kind of hard liquor—probably
vodka—in it.

“I can’t believe Trent left you alone,”
Greg said.

“He’s busy, I guess.” I tossed back
another gulp of the drink. It didn’t taste so bad on the second try.

“Dumbass. He should be with you.”

That’s what I thought, but I wasn’t
going to admit that to Greg. Instead of replying, I took another swig. Yep, it
was definitely improving in flavor.

Also, my head seemed to be floating
pleasantly about three inches above the end of my neck. Weird.

A warm weight settled on my upper thigh,
right where my skirt had pulled up and my bare skin began. I rotated my head
lazily and looked at Greg. He was staring at his own hand where it rested on my
leg. His thumb began to stroke my skin, back and forth, back and forth.

“You have beautiful legs,” he said.

“Greg, I’m taken.”

“Yeah, but he’s not here.” He moved his
hand a couple inches higher.

“You need to stop doing that.” I would
have slapped him, but I was too floaty and relaxed to care enough to lift my
hand. It didn’t seem especially important at the moment to stop him.

“If he doesn’t want to share you, he
should spend more time looking out for you,” Greg continued.

That was true. But it didn’t mean I
wanted Greg Talbot fondling my legs.

“No, really. You need to stop.”

“Aw, come on, Caroline. You know you like
it.” He leaned down and planted a sloppy kiss on my thigh. “There are empty
rooms upstairs. Let’s go find one.”

The alcohol haze enveloping my brain
retreated enough for me to shove his hand off me. “Knock it off. Now.”

I scooted away from him and got my feet
under me. He reached for me, but I stood up, swaying, and walked away from him.
He didn’t follow. With a glance over my shoulder, I saw him sitting against the
wall and staring with unfocused gaze at the crowd of people in the room.

I guess he wasn’t that serious about
wanting me.

Where was Trent? It was time for me to
go home.

I pushed my way through the packed
rooms, craning my neck to see him and trying at the same time not to fall over
and sprain my ankle. Being drunk made walking in the crazy shoes I’d chosen ten
times more difficult.

I was about to give up on finding him
when I caught the sound of his voice coming from somewhere to my right. I
turned. And there he was, with his face buried in the cleavage of some skinny
yet stacked brunette. The girl moved her head and I recognized her. My very own
sorority sister, Tiffani.

Was I really seeing this? It was
definitely Trent, definitely Tiffani. How cute. Their names started with the
same letter. She had her hands buried in his blond hair, her head tipped back
as her mouth opened. It looked like they were having foreplay in the middle of
the fraternity living room.

His hands clutched her ass. He was
touching Tiffani’s ass. I took another step toward them, only half aware I was
even moving. What should I do? Should I break it up? Tear the cow’s hair out?

Maybe I should find a pair of scissors
and cut off his balls.

But there were so many people here. Too
many witnesses. If I made a big scene, it would be all over campus by the
morning. Everyone would know.

Besides, cutting off men’s balls was
illegal and I didn’t want to go to jail.

I’d go home without him. He’d abandoned
me at this stupid party and that was bad enough, without taking into account
the cheap little slut he was currently feeling up. Yeah, that’s what I’d do. Go
home without him.

Turning on my heel, I teetered back
through the living room and into the hallway. In this part of the house was a
game room, a study and bathrooms. There was also a side entrance I’d noticed on
an earlier visit.

I found the door. A guy I didn’t
recognize had a girl up against the wall right next to the exit, his hand
inside her pants. They didn’t seem to notice me as I opened the door and walked
outside.

A mist hung in the air and I had no
jacket. My little black dress was sleeveless and the mist felt cold on my bare
arms. Humidity always made my hair go crazy, so by the time I got home it was
going to be completely out of control.

I didn’t care. At least I was away from
the party.

The bass notes of the music thumped
monotonously. Pulling my phone out of my mini purse, I tried to activate it so
I could call a cab. Nothing happened. After another three tries, it dawned on
me that the battery was dead. Great. I never left home without my phone, yet
somehow I’d forgotten to charge the battery.

Now what? I could either walk home or go
back into the party and use the house phone. I really, really didn’t want to
face that crowd again, especially with Greg Talbot hitting on me. And I didn’t
want to see Trent. That left walking.

The lawn on the side of the house had no
walkway leading to the sidewalk. When I stepped onto the grass, the heels of my
shoes sank deep into the moist ground and trapped me. I hadn’t reckoned on the
wetness of the ground in fall.

“Shit.” I slipped out of them and bent
down to pull them from the soil.

Behind me, the house still roared with
party mayhem. I straightened, my head spinning. It wasn’t too far from the
fraternity house to the campus, even in high heels. I could do this.

I kept my shoes in my hand and walked
across the squishy lawn barefoot to keep from getting stuck again. At the
sidewalk, I put them back on my feet. How long would it take Trent to notice I
wasn’t there anymore? Maybe he never would.

He’d never done anything like this to me
before. Or maybe I’d simply never caught him at it. After all, we’d been apart
for the three months of summer vacay, and he could have been cheating the whole
time for all I knew. Until now, it had never occurred to me to wonder.

I ground my teeth as I pictured them
together. Tiffani was the perfect sorority girl, always dressed for the
occasion, always perky and friendly, even if she did seem like she was made out
of plastic.

My angry thoughts plus the alcohol in my
bloodstream made me unsteady as I minced carefully along the dark sidewalk.
There were a lot of huge, old trees in this neighborhood, and even semi-bare
their canopies blocked much of the light from the streetlights. Thick roots
buckled the pavement in places, so I had to look carefully where I stepped.
This slowed my progress even more. It was going to take me a lot longer to get
back to the dorms than I’d thought.

The thrumming of an engine came around
the corner behind me, headlights casting a blinding glare over the street. The
car approached slowly. My heart rate picked up. I kept my gaze forward as I
walked, pretending I didn’t know the car was there.

It kept pace with me for about a block
as sweat began to trickle down my sides. What did they want? I wasn’t sure I
wanted to know. Then a window rolled down. I glanced at it from the corner of
my eye. A guy I’d never seen before was leaning out of the passenger side
window.

“Hey, want a ride?” he said.

“No, thanks.” I kept walking.

“We’d be happy to let you ride with us.”

“I said no thanks.”

The righteous anger brought on by liquor
and witnessing Trent’s cheating had left me, chased away by an adrenalin rush
of fear. It was possible these guys were just being friendly, although in a
really inappropriate way. It was also possible they were thinking of dragging
me into their car if I refused to get in voluntarily. After that, anything
could happen.

My toe caught on a crack in the sidewalk
and I stumbled. After an awkward lurch, I caught myself in time to prevent a
fall. My hands were shaking.

“You should ride with us,” the guy said.
“A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be out here walking.”

“Thank you, but I don’t want a ride.”

The car stopped. I picked up my pace,
focusing on a giant spruce tree growing on the upcoming corner. Maybe I could
lose them if I could get into the shadows under that tree. I could cut through
the overgrown garden it anchored. But I could only move so fast in these
abominable heels. Why, oh why had I worn such stupid shoes? The car door
opened. I heard the guy’s footsteps on the pavement.

He was definitely not taking no for an
answer.

His hand clamped around my upper arm
just as Max stepped from beneath the shadowy branches of the spruce tree. He
wore a black leather jacket and in the darkness I hardly recognized him. Yet
somehow I knew who it was. There was a kind of energy in him that I knew, like
the jolt that had traveled up my arm the first time we’d touched.

“Let her go,” he barked.

The nameless guy released my arm. I
stumbled toward Max. He might be creepy, but I knew him. Trent knew him. If he
did anything bad to me, my boyfriend would beat him to a pulp.

“We were just trying to help,” the guy
said.