RULES OF LOVE (A Navy SEALs Romance) (59 page)

“I’m glad you like my new panties, baby. I bought them on his card,” I heard her say. Who was she talking to? A deep voice murmured in the background. It sounded like she was using her webcam to talk to someone.

My heart sank as she spoke again. “It’s just a matter of time before he loses his mind and I get all the money. We can really be together then.”

Lose my mind? What the fuck is she talking about?
I wondered. I could hear the man now, very clearly. He sounded younger than me and had a scumbag voice.

“The old kook has lost his mind, huh?” he asked and laughed. “Does he know I’ve been fucking you in his bed? If he did, I think he’d really need a shrink.”

“He’s already seeing one remember? I had to go with him,” she said in a voice I didn’t recognize—a cold, nasty one. A robotic voice, one that was flat and knew what it wanted. And apparently what it wanted wasn’t me.

I slammed the door open. She stood nearly naked in front of her camera, talking to some dark-haired man on the computer. His eyes moved and focused on me. He murmured, “Fuck.”

I wished I could have punched him in the fucking face. He ended their call, and she quickly shut the computer off as if that would quell the damage of what I could never unhear. I shook my head and began to laugh. If she thought I was crazy, fuck it; I could show her my crazy now.

“B…Billy!” she stuttered. “I didn’t realize you’d be home so early.”

“You told me not to be. I guess I know why now,” I replied, laughing. I put my hand over my eyes, trying to forget this, trying to steady myself. “I was right. Zach was right,” I said flatly. I turned and sat down on the bed, staring at the wall. My heart was numb and my eyes would have welled up if my pride would have allowed it. “What I don’t understand is why you wasted my time. You know I wouldn’t have sent you off without money, protection. You know that,” I said, my voice monotonous. I had to protect myself now, because she would never have the satisfaction of seeing me vulnerable. Some people just didn’t deserve to see you like that.

“It’s not what it looks like. He’s just a friend. Well, we’ve had sex a lot lately, but…but…”

Her dumb words were falling flat on my ears. I didn’t care who the hell he was, just that he was
.
Just that there was someone else, someone—a human, a guy—outside of our relationship who shared these moments with her.

“I always knew, I think. Because you were so obvious. And I tried to ignore it because I cared about you,” I said. I couldn’t hide some of the hurt in my voice. “The difference between us, though? I have always at least been fucking honest with you. I flirt, yeah. I’m not perfect, but I could never have done this to you.” I raised my voice a bit.

She was crying now. She didn’t look pretty when she cried. I was too disconnected from her to notice. She looked like a young, scared, spoiled child who was about to have her allowance taken away.

“Just take your bank account and go,” I said. “Why the fuck are you here, anyway? It’s clear you’re miserable. That you want my money. Well, fine. But please don’t bother taking up space, sweetie, because we know that’s all you’ve been doing,” I said dryly.

She cried harder and began throwing things. I tried dodging some of the items, but one of them, her heaviest purse, socked me in the head.

“If you’d loved me more this wouldn’t have happened. Do you know how fucking boring it is being your woman?” she sputtered through tears. “I have to hear about all of your stupid shit—your ex all the time. You want to bang
your therapist by the way, so don’t be a damn hypocrite.”

I got defensive. “Don’t you bring her into this. Nothing has ever happened between us. But you and this guy? Well, a lot has certainly happened. Oh, and in our bed? Really?” I roared.

“Oh, and Zach? she mocked. Zach wants to be right. He never liked me.”

I scaled everything down, trying to distance myself so I could walk away, feeling nothing but cold, wanting nothing but for her to go. “He’s a good judge of character. He used to get it from me, but now that I’ve met you, I’m not so sure I can hold a candle to him.”

“Billy, please,” she cried. She wrapped her arms around me and sobbed.

I was rigid, feelings of hurt and betrayal flooding through me, the kind of feelings that make your heart sink and make you fucking numb. “Stop,” I said gently. I pushed her away from me. “It’s okay now. You can go. I don’t see the point in pretending anymore.” I got up, leaving her on the bed to cry. “Let’s face it—it’s more exhausting to you than it is to me. Just go.”

She sputtered, tears falling unchecked. I couldn’t look at her anyone. I left without another word, closing the door gently behind me.

Zach stood in the hallway, an eyebrow cocked. “Dad?” he asked.

Fiona began screaming again, throwing everything in the bedroom.

“See if you can stay with Gretta tonight. I won’t be home,” I said.

He nodded knowingly. He was so mature sometimes. I ruffled his hair again and said, “You were right.”

I knew what I needed to do. I needed to get out of this house and take my power back, as Katie would say. Yeah, that’s right, take my power back. I needed space, and I needed to think about what my next step would be. I would treat this like a business deal gone horribly wrong.

I got into my car and it rumbled to life. I was going to my hotel, where I had been heading when I’d been mugged. I was going to take the car, but then I was going to walk the rest of the way. I was going to have a session with Katie.

B. Carson:
Katie, it’s me. Something bad happened. Need a session. Meet me at the Ritsy Hotel off 32
nd
.

Kathleen Warren:
Okay. Just stay calm. See you soon. I’m in the area.

I roared down the street; Fiona in the window. She was still throwing things and screaming. Even now, at the end of the day, things were all she really connected with. Maybe it was because of some void, but that was no longer my issue. Once someone cheated, it was over. Once they fucked someone else, I was done. I had no time for such nonsense. Not me, Billy the Billionaire. I was better than that, and I really believed it now. No one, not even that stupid robber, could take that away from me. He was sitting in jail, and Fiona? Well, she was in her own prison. Nothing could make her happy or would ever fill the void she tried so hard to fill with my shit.

I made my way onto the highway to Manhattan. I rolled the windows down and blasted rock music, feeling like a king again. I knew what I was going to do. Tonight, Katie would be mine. By the end of the night, the cat would be out of the bag, and I could begin my new life, one of feeling okay again.

I parked my car, leaving it in the dim parking garage. I had the best parking spot, of course. All I had to do was flash my ID, and they let me through. I owned everything, and now I could own my own heart again—my truth. There was value in that.

I realized, walking down the street in Manhattan, that my fear had been lifted—at least for the most part. Some of it was still there, but that’s because the freedom of accepting my reality for what it really was overshadowed everything else.

“Suite 11. I’ll have a guest,” I said at the counter. They gave me the keys and let me go up. People knew I was not to be spoken to when I was on a mission, and I was on a mission now. Nothing would stop me. Not my fake morals, not her code of ethics—because what we had was real, and I knew that for sure now.

For once, I knew everything would be okay and correct because it was meant to be. Fate existed, and I think I was fated to meet Katie at this time in my life, to heal and to grow. I hoped I could help make her dreams a reality. But first, I would make her mine.

KATIE

This was the way it was supposed to be, because this is what I was supposed to do. No matter where I was during the day, I wanted to go to him. This mystic pull kept us glued, and I was a bit braver because of the alcohol. My mind rushed through my memories with him, my thoughts of him. He needed me, and I wanted to be there—not only as a therapist, but for a deeper reason. When you love someone, the need to get to them is as urgent as trying to save someone who is drowning.

I was relieved that I’d worn a sexy outfit tonight, intending to go out. I felt dumb walking around with a purse with a dildo in it, but no matter. He wouldn’t see it. He couldn’t see this sad side of me, even if it was obvious—my stockings were ripped and my pussy was still wet from pleasuring myself.

I hoped I was sober enough for a session with him. Yeah, I was sober enough. The drink was already wearing off. I hoped he was okay. That everything wasn’t as devastating as it seemed.

I knew where the hotel was. I’d seen it from a distance, never imagining I would meet anyone there—let alone someone I knew in my heart was the love of my life. A tragic love that would take me years to get over, if I even could. Tonight, I would break off the sessions, and he would see another therapist tomorrow. Everything would be okay, and I could be a good person again.

I stared up at the building, knowing that once I entered, things would never be the same. I would be a different person all together, and I was okay with that.
What are you saying to yourself? You’re just seeing a client.
But I knew better.

I walked to the counter. “Mr. Carson is expecting me.”

They gave me the keys to Suite 11 and I raced to the elevator. As the doors closed, I thought there was really no turning back from this point. I took a deep breath and continued. I was ready to make this right, for his sake. All for his sake.

BILL

I waited for her, sipping a drink. I was calm, totally calm, the way I used to feel before a business deal. No, the way I could be again, thanks to Katie’s guidance.

She reached the door, looking wind-washed and beautiful. Her stockings were ripped; she looked like someone out of a sex scene.

“Mr. Carson,” she said. “What’s going on?”

“A lot. Glad you’re here.”

I closed the door behind her, eyeing her up and down. She was mine now. I strutted over to her, very business-like. She moved to meet me, probably to shake my hand. As she reached out for my palm, I took hers and pulled her towards me, bending her over the desk of the hotel. My mouth met hers, demanding and hungry.

She moaned in surprise. She pulled her head away from mine, nearly crying. “W-what are you doing? This is wrong.” Tears ran down her gorgeous face, but I could see the blush building in her cheeks. I knew she wanted it, but I wanted to make sure she was okay with crossing this line. She gasped. “I need to leave.”

I shook my head and kissed her again. This time, she was a bit more receptive to my advances. She allowed my tongue to enter her mouth, accepting it completely. But she managed to pull her head away again.

“Please. Stop.”

Hearing those words, I released her gently and stepped back. We both caught our breath, the dim light in the hotel setting the tone for a breathtaking scene. To my surprise, she began to sob.

“Billy, we can’t see each other anymore,” she said.

“Why the hell not?” I asked. “Is it about Ken, or whatever his name is? You have got to be kidding me if you’re going to compare a fucking alpha to a beta. You just can’t.”

“No.” She shook her head. “No, that’s not it.”

“Then what?”

“Because you don’t understand how toxic this therapy has become for you. You haven’t studied it. My God—I’ve taken advantage of you, haven’t I?”

I roared with laughter at her words. “You? Taking advantage of me? Baby, if anything, I’ve been trying to catch you off guard all along.”

“No… You’re vulnerable. You’ve experienced trauma. You don’t understand the power a therapist has over a client, and I cannot abuse that power. So I have to go, now.”

I shook my head. “You said you don’t like bullshit, so we might as well be honest.”

“Okay. Go ahead.” She sat down, her shaking slowing a little.

“You were never my counselor, and we both know it,” I said.

“What do you mean?” she asked

“That relationship has never existed for us, and I never felt as though you were anything but the woman I wanted to make mine,” I informed her.

“But that’s wrong. I had power over you.”

He shook his head. “I picked you because you looked like Sophia. I know it was wrong, and I won’t even justify it. I never gave you that kind of power over me as a therapist. All the power I handed you was because I wanted you to be mine. I just didn’t know it.”

“R-Really?” she stuttered through her tears.

“You didn’t do anything but be you,” I said. I took her beautiful head in my hands and smoothed her hair. “I am not harmed. But I am horny,” I growled, running my hand through her hair a little more roughly.

She gasped weakly and accepted my advances. The walls were toppling down now, and we were two feral creatures who wanted the sins of each other’s flesh.

“Besides, it’s a little late to be anything but that now, isn’t it?” I breathed into her ear.

“What about Fiona?” she asked.

“I found her cheating on me. I knew it all along in my heart, and you did too, I think.”