Ruining Me (9 page)

He smirked, “It should be, but thank God
you’re
at least legal and right now that is
good enough for me.”  He leans
down to kiss me, but I pull my mouth back. 

“Kane, we need to slow down just a little.  We don’t know each other
at all
and I
must seem like a super slut to
you
after knowing you what
,
maybe a day
.
”
 
I bowed my head into my hands and continued, “
If you want
only
one night and
that’s it then
we can go upstairs
, but if you really want more
,
then
I need to sl
ow everything down.  I need to think about
this
.
”

“I get that. 
I’m not looking for anything serious Jay, but the t
hought of not seeing you again,
honestly, it’s not s
i
tting well with me.  How a
bout I take you to dinner tomorrow
?
  I’ll pick you up around seven?”

“Yeah”, I replied.  He leaned to kiss me again and
I
turn
ed my cheek.  “Kane, I’m not that
strong.  If you kiss me I’
m not sure I can let you leave
,
”
my eyes plead with his.  He shook his head and
followed me as
I walked
to the
door.  Nothing else was said.  Nothing had to be.
  After he left I climbed the stairs and went straight to bed.

I opened my eyes to the bright light again. 
My body is
so cold from laying on what seems to be
a steel table.
My arms and legs are so heavy and I can’t seem to move them.  A
man’s voice
is coming from the end of the table discussing
about what golf course he plans to play this weekend. 
Suddenly,
the bright light above me is blocked and my beautiful dark angel leans down to me.  His
lips are
inches from mine. 

“Are you comfy my lov
e?”  He gently kisses my lips,
“Your being such a good girl
.  Just lay there
my beautiful whore.
”  A sob
is retched
from my body and tears
trickle
down the
side of my face.  “
Hush no tears,
” he whispers, “Y
our just taking one
more step closer to be with me,”
his tongue sweeps out of his mouth and it’s black and forked like a snake
. I can feel it as it
traces my lips
,
trying to
invade
my mouth. 

I wake up
screaming sobbing into my pillow.  It
is
hours before I finally fall back asleep.

Waking up
before my alarm clock goes off
I
decide to get an ear
ly
start.  I didn’t think much about my situation with Kane last night before bed.  Honestly, I
can’t
think about it right now
either
. 
One day at a time is all I can do and I n
eed to get through another day of school.  The home phone rings and I rush to answer it knowing it’s one of my parents.

“James,
I
just
wanted to check
on you sweetie
.”
It’s my
Dad.

“Hey Dad, I’m fine. 
Everything is good here.” 
The lies roll off my tongue.

“Good
. 
Y
our
mother and I both might
be another week getting home.  We are taking some time for
a little vacation
.  I just wanted
to see if you needed anything.”

“That’s fine Dad, I am so busy with
school
anyway
s
.”

“Great James, we’ll call
later this
week
.
”

At last there is silence
as he ends
the call the same way he ends
all of his phone calls
.

“Love you too
,
“
I tell
dead air
.

Rushing to get dressed,
I decide on my regular school attire with
a
white denim skirt, light pink tee and
matching
converse
shoes
. 
Looking at my hair in the mirror I use my
big barrel
curling iron to style it. 
It turns out super cute.  Mentally I
know I’m
dressing
thinking
about
Kane
,
and a
thread of excitement runs through me.  I have chosen
for
the past two years
not
to have any long term commitments.  For the first time
in a long time,
I
’m
think
ing
about letting someone close
and i
t
scares the hell out of me, but I am starved to hold someone for longer than an hour. 

With my
ear buds
in
,
jamming to my music,
I go to get into my car
to head to schoo
l. 
When I open
the
car door
,
I
happen to
look up and
finally notice the motorcycle
parked behind
me.  T
he sexiest man
is
still si
tting on it. 
Just looking at him I feel a peace that I haven’t felt in
a long time. 
I know in that instant that maybe I don’t know him, but it feels like my soul has known his forever.  Does it really matter that we don’t know everything about each other
?
  The truth is that evil
can
reside
in anyone
and most of the time
,
it
is in those we least expect it.  Those we are closest to.
 
Staring at Kane, I think to myself the h
ell with it.  I
’m
going to
live my life
for me
now
. 
 

We are both drawn to each other. 
Ripping the music from my ears
,
I
toss
my book bag into my car and
put a little extra swing
in
my hips a
s
I
walk towards him.  He smiles at me and slides off his
bike
.  I don’t hesitate
,
once I reach him
,
I jump up
an
d wrap my long legs around his waist.

“Miss me,”
I ask
?

“All night,”
he
says as he k
isse
s
me like a starving man.  He taste
s
like orange juice and I could have kissed him all
day. I finally broke away.

“I’m going to be late.”  I went to put my legs down and
he
grab
s
my legs tighter around him.

“One more for the road,”
he whisper
s. 
“Get me through the day.”  His lips are so soft and I swear his tongue is so smooth. 
We kiss like it’s our last and
we both moan.
  I finally pull
away and this time he let
s
me go
. 

“I can’t believe you’re here.  I wanted to see you this morning.
”
 
My eyes grow wide because
I cannot
believe I just said that out loud.   He grab
s
both
of my hands and looks into my eyes
.

“Ja
y
, you can’t say that to me and expect me to let you walk away.”

“Don’t
leave then.  L
et’s go inside and I’ll play hooky for
the day.  I want to be with you
.” 
I see how much he wants me. 

“
Jay, there
is nothing I want more, but I have to work.  My brother would kill me
if I didn’t show up
.  He’s going to be pissed that I’m late.  It’s a big
job and huge for our business.”

I could tell he was torn about it so I put the tip of my finger to his mouth
.

“It’s okay.  Really, I just wanted you to know how I felt
.”

“God Girl,
you’re
going to kill me
.
”
  H
e said as he tugged me to him and kissed me once more.

I was late to first period, but well, it was worth it.  Once I was seated I looked up and
Cal
was staring at me.  He just smiled at me and leaned closer.

“
Wow, there
’s
the girl I used to know.  I haven’t seen you smile like that in years.  Whatever it is
,
keep doing it every morning.  Let me know if you need any help
making you smile.
”

T
he fool actually wiggled his eyebrows at me.  I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at him.
The silence was the first thing I realized before I looked around and
noticed the whole class staring including Mrs. Davis.  Geez, these people need to get a life.  Mrs. Davis started talking again to the class and
Cal
leaned close again
.

“I ne
ed to talk with you after class
,
”
he said.  I nodded and turned toward the board.

I forgot about talking to
Cal
when he was held up by some of the football players after class.
Rhye glared at me all second period like he was pissed, but at least he left
me
alone. 
By my third period I realized that something was
definitely
up and
I kept getting the feeling that I was also the center of it.  I finally caught up to
Cal
at the beginning of lunch. 

“Do you know what is up with everyone?” 
Cal
hung his head down and before he got his chance to tal
k, I heard a high pitch scream.

“You Bitch, how dare you he’s mine.”  I turn just in time to see
Cal
grab Staci
e
and pull her bac
k.  “You can’t have him back.” 
Coach Sanders grabs her
from
Cal
and proceeds to lug her to the front office. 

“What the hell
Cal
?  What is she talking about
,
” I yelled. 

His cheeks redden and he said,
“Listen, I tried to tell you this morning. 
JT
broke up with Staci
e
last night and told her it was because you two were getting back together.  Everyone was hanging out
last night and
of course it was a super public break up.
  So pretty much
JT
told the whole school y
ou both
were back together.  Then you come in smiling this morning and well, you can guess what everyone thought.”