Ruining Me (13 page)

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the front door open and close a
gain.  I look
up as my
mother walks
into the room.  When she sees
me on the floor
,
she rushe
s
forward
to grab
me.

“
Jesus
Jay
,
what happened?  Are you okay?
  Dale,” she screamed for my father.

I laid my head on her shoulder and sobbed.  When was the last time that I had cried to my
Mom
?
  It had been years.  
Her hands grip me and she h
olds
me tightly to her chest.  

“It’s okay honey.  I’m here.”  She kisse
s the top of my head.  I hear
feet pounding against the floor as my Dad r
u
n
s
into the room.

“Paige what is goin
g on?”  He asked my Mom and kneels
on the floor next to us. 
Laying his hand
on top of my head
he ask
s
,
“James are you okay?”  I could hear the concern in his voice.

Raising my head
,
I look
at them
knowing I
had to tell them something. 
“I’m fine really.  I just had a fight with JT.
”  The
y
look
at each other over my head.  My dad was the first one to speak.

“A fight with JT?  I’m hoping you mean over the phone James and not that he was here
this early in the morning
.”

“Dale, leave her alone,” she said to my Dad.  “Jay, I didn’t know you and
JT
were back together?”  She
holds me away from her and looks
at me. 

“It’s a long story Mom.  Really, I’m okay.” 
Pulling away from her I wipe the
tears off my face
and we
all st
an
d up.  “What are you guys doing home?”

“We had some last minute issues with the business that we needed to come back and deal with,” my Mom replie
s
.  “
Honey, do you want to talk about anything?”  I could see the worry in her and my Dad’s eyes.

“I’m
fine
really.  It’s been
a rough first week of school and I left early yesterday because I didn’t feel very well.  I’m going to stay home today if it’s okay with you?”

My Dad started to shake his head
no
, but my mother laid a hand on his arm and spoke.  “That’s fine Jay.  I’ll call school and let them know.  Why don’t you go upstairs and lie down.  I’ll come
up and
check on you in a minute.” 

I nod my head and start to walk away.  At the door I turn around and see my parents whispering to each other. 
I know m
y parents love me
and I
have never doubted that.  I just don’t think they know what to do with me anymore. 
Turning back to go upstairs I reach my room and fall into bed.  
Pulling the covers over my head I let myself sink into a restless sleep.

“Jay, wake up sweetie.” 

My Mother’s voice wakes me.  Her hand brushes through my hair as she sits on the side of the bed.  Concern is etched on her face and
pain fills
her voice.

“You know if you ever want to talk about anything I’m here to listen.  Your Dad and I have been worried about you.  I know we don’t talk like we used to.”

Smiling a
t her
I answe
r, “I know Mom
and really I’m
okay. 
JT
and I are just trying to work out our problems.  Things just got out of hand this morning.  I am
so
sorry that you and Dad had to see me like th
at
.”

“No Jay, don’t feel that way.  We want you to talk to us.  You have shut me out the past couple of years and I don’t know how to talk to you anymore.”

I didn’t know what to say to that.  We did used to be a lot closer.  My life has changed so much in the last two years. 
So much has been taken from me. 

“Thanks for just being here Mom.  I love you.”
  I sit up in the bed. 

“Just know that we ar
e always here for you.”  She hugs my neck and stands
up.  “Do you want something to eat?  Your Dad and I are driving to the office, but I could fix something before we leave.”

“I’m good.  I’ll grab something in a little bit.”

“When I know our schedule I’ll let you know.  See you sweetie.”  She kisse
s the top of my head and walks
out. 

My phone vibrates
on the table beside my bed.  I reach over
and
grab it
to read
my text
message
.
 

Cal
-
R u okay???? 
Why are you not at school??? 
Did something hap w/JT?  Looks like someone beat t
he shit out of him, but he won’t
talk about it.

Me – I’m just not feeling well.  Please tell
JT
I’m okay. 
Make sure he’s okay for me. 

I shook my head reading the next text
and decide to ignore him
. 

Rhye -
I can’t get you out up my f’head…. Shouldn’
t have said that last
night at the restaurant.  Can we just talk?
Did you hear your song the other night?

It was sunny outside so I showered and shaved
my legs thinking I might
lay out by the pool for the day. 
I slip my
ear buds
in and turn on some music. 
My thoughts
a
re running
wild
about
what I
am
going to say to Kane.  He probably d
oesn’t
even want to talk to me anymore.  I couldn’t blame him.
After a while my
phone vibrate
s
against me. 

Kane – R U at school?

Me – No….I stayed at home.

Kane – K

Me - ??????

I wasn’t sure where he was going with this. 
I wanted to know if he
still
wants
to see me again. 

Me – Did you want to come over and talk?

Kane – Now you want to talk?  No Jay, I don’t want to talk.  I just wanted to make sure you were okay. 

Me – I am sorry about this morning….

He never texted me back.  I went in
side
later that afte
rnoon
to take a shower and then lay back
down. 
Closing my eyes
,
I figure I can
sleep my life away. 

When I w
a
ke ag
ain
,
it
i
s dark outside.  I walk
downstairs and hear my parents talking in the
kitchen.  My Father’s voice keeps
getting louder. 

“I’m worried about her Paige.  She never has friends over anymore.  Dan and Sandra have told us both that she still doesn’t speak to Molly.  This has went on long enough.  Now all
of
the sudden
JT
is back in the picture.  I don’
t think this is a good thing.  Has she even applied to any colleges?  She doesn’t talk to anyone anymore.”

“Calm down Dale.  When she is ready she will talk to us.  You can’t push her.”  I could tell that my Mom was trying to calm him down.

“When she is ready?  It’s been two years.  We have let things go and gave her time to come to us.  She
hasn’t
and her future is at stake.”

“We need to give her just a
little more time.  She is coming around,” my mother told him.

Not
wanting to hear anymore I walk into the kitchen.  They stop talking immediately and turn
toward me.

“You okay Jay?”  My Mom asked.

“I’m fine guys.  What are we having for dinner?”

My mother looks
a
t my father
and h
e turn
s
toward me
to
answer, “Sorry sweetie, we both have flights out to pick up clients.  Some
last minute charters.”  He looks
at my Mom and then back at me.  “Jay, we can cancel them if you need us here.”  I don’t ever remember my Dad offering to cancel business for me. 

Walking over to him he opens his arms and I step
into them.  Hugging him hard I sa
y
, “Thanks Dad, but I’m good.  Everything is fine.  I just had a moment this morning.  You know teen angst and all that.”  I laugh and it sounded fake even to me, but I could tell they both bought it.

My mother came over and hugged me toward her.  “You know we are only a phone call away.”

“I know Mom.  I’m just going to order a pizza and call it a night.
Love you guys.”

I slip out of the kitchen before they could talk
any
more
to me.
An ho
ur later
,
they c
o
me into my room to tell me good
bye and kiss me before they le
ave
.  I still have no
t heard from Kane.  I guess that was that. 
Grabbing
a book that I starte
d last week
,
I
read until I f
a
l
l asleep.

My alarm clock w
a
ke
s
me
early
the next morning. 
Yawning, I realize that I’m not going to be able to get out of school today.  Dressing
in tan shorts and
a
gold blousy shirt
I slide
on
a pair of new golden
sandals
and check
myself out in the mirror.  Yesterday’s tanning session was much needed.  My skin glowed
.  I left my hair down and hea
d down stairs. 

I decided to forgo the coffee this morning since I did
n’t
set the timer.  Grabbing my keys and book bag
,
I head out to school.  I walk
out the front door hoping to see Kane waiting for me, but I should have known
that h
e is done
with the whole situation.  I
can’t blame him
when I e
ven get tired of my drama. 

Cal was waiting for me next to my parking
space when I pull
in. 
He is going to want answers and I don’t have any for him. 

“Whatever
you’re
going to say, can you please just save it?  Please?”  I plead with him. 
Cal
sh
akes
his head.

“We have to talk about our boy eventually Jay
.  You know that right?”  I nod
at him.  He turns
around and walk
s
toward the school building.
  Taking a deep breath I follow
him to homeroom.  Cal s
its
on one side of the room where there were no more seats so I sat on the other.