Ruined (The Seraphim Series Book 1) (8 page)

“Of course.” Azrael nodded, already walking to the door. “I won't be long.”

Lilliah wasn’t sure why she’d followed them. She normally hated eavesdropping on conversations, but she couldn’t help herself. Slowly peeking out the door, she breathed a little easier when she didn’t see them. Walking down the corridor, she stopped when she heard their hushed voices from around the corner. She walked so her back was to the wall and she listened.

“You need to tell them. The more they know about our world, the more powerful they will become.” It was Benedict's voice she heard first.

“You don't know. It’s just a theory,” Azrael replied. Whatever it was they were talking about, it didn't seem to bother him as much as it did Benedict.

“So what if he wakes up one day and remembers? What if he remembers what he is? Or maybe he already knows and this is all a clever trick.”

He?
Lilliah thought, puzzled.

“I've already told you, he doesn’t know. I’ve been watching him,” Azrael said, irritated. “And what if he does just suddenly remember? She has been his sister for all his normal life. Bonds like that aren’t so easily broken.”

Lilliah froze. They were talking about Sebastian.

“Siblings have been killing each other for centuries!” Benedict shot back.

“Not these two. They’re too close. Trust me on this,” Azrael stressed.

“You haven’t told her about him, have you?” Benedict correctly guessed.

“No.”

She couldn’t take it anymore and rounded the corner. “What’s wrong with Sebastian?” she demanded.

Both men stood, silently staring at her, a little shocked.

“Nothing,” Azrael denied, completely straight-faced while behind him, Benedict looked uncomfortable.

“I heard you talking about him,” Lilliah rushed out, annoyed that he'd lied to her face. “He's my brother. I deserve to know. He deserves to know.”

“You’re right,” Azrael agreed, casually putting his hands in his trouser pockets. “Come with me.”

She watched as he strolled down the corridor, her heart beating furiously in her chest. Casting one last look in Benedict’s direction, she followed Azrael back into the library. 

“You might want to sit down for this.” His cool attitude was making her more nervous.             

“Why? Would sitting down make whatever you’re going to say easier?” she asked, her palms getting sweaty. When she was nervous she had to move.

“Well, no.” Azrael looked at her for a moment. “Fine, stand. It really doesn’t matter.”

“Just tell me what it is. If something’s wrong with Sebastian . . .” She paused, even though the thought was petrifying. “I just need to know.”

“Your brother’s a demon, Lilliah.”

The words had been spoken clearly, and yet Lilliah still couldn’t process them.
A demon?

“What?” she whispered, confused.

“I could feel it as soon as I found you,” Azrael continued without emotion, yet his eyes were glued to her face. “I soon realised that even he didn’t know what he was.”

“How?” she asked, almost falling into the chair near her. “How can he not know?”

“You didn’t know what you were until a few days ago,” he reminded her, pulling out a chair from under the table. “I have a theory,” he began, taking a seat.

“What?” she probed.

“Your birthday is just before the Day of the Dead; nine months before, to be precise,” he reminded her.

Lilliah nodded in agreement.

“I think that Lucifer sent out a demon. Sometimes demons get out of Hell through people playing with Ouija boards and things like that. Or messing around with dark magic,” he quickly explained. “Only lower demons can get through. Now Sebastian was either already on Earth, or on the Day of the Dead, when Lucifer was freed, he used a lot of magic to send Sebastian to you. I don't know,” he finished, shrugging his broad shoulders.

Lilliah sat, unable to speak or move.

“Well,” Azrael continued, “we believe that Michael's magic was too strong. When Sebastian got close to you, you died. I believe he was pulled into the spell, being reincarnated as well.” They both sat in silence as Lilliah tried to digest the information.

“It also might be the reason you are more susceptible to magic this time around,” he added, quickly continuing when he saw her confused expression. “It’s why I can actually get close to you. Why you haven’t been reincarnated yet.” He waited a moment before continuing, “It’s as if you were born into magic.”

“Sebastian’s a demon.” She tasted the words on her lips. They didn’t fit. They didn’t describe her brother. “He can't be,” she whispered, shaking her head adamantly.

“I can assure you, your brother’s a demon.”

“No. You don't know him like I do. Sebastian is so kind. He puts on this front for people, that he doesn’t care, but underneath it all, he has this marshmallow centre that’s all gooey and warm. He has the biggest heart,” she tried to explain, desperately wanting Azrael to believe her. “Demons are supposed to be cold and heartless.” She remembered reading about them at the library. “That's not Sebastian.”

“Well, he can't remember anything about his past. He was born into a loving, caring family. He's a different person, as you are,” Azrael told her. “Would you like to be there when I tell him?” he asked, frowning at Lilliah's watery eyes.

“He'll be heartbroken,” she whispered, more to herself. “After everything that we've been through, now this?”

“We don't have to tell him if you'd prefer.”

“No.” She shook her head. The only thing worse than his knowing would be his not knowing and finding out later by having someone else tell him. “We have to tell him.”

“Seb?” Lilliah carefully began, walking into the room.

Sebastian looked up when she walked in. Azrael had told him about his demonic past that morning, and like she had suspected, he'd shut down and shut her out.

“What?” He looked up, his face hard and emotionless.

Lilliah had known Sebastian would go into himself; it’s what he always did. Maybe she had been wrong to make them tell him? He was just starting to heal from the stab wound and now he had this to deal with.

“I know how you’re feeling—”

He interrupted her by making a strange noise that sounded a little like a laugh.

“You know what I’m going through, huh?” he asked, hobbling over to her.  His guarded expression fell away, revealing the true pain he was feeling.

“You found out that you’re a goddamn angel. You’re a good guy,” he seethed. “I was sent to kill you, Lilliah.” He spoke the last few words slowly. “Do you understand that?”

“Don’t patronise me!” she shot back, refusing to let him play the victim. That wasn’t who her brother was, and he wasn’t going to become one now. “We've both learnt some really big stuff in the past four days, but it doesn’t change anything.”

“How does this not change anything?” he demanded, fisting his hair in frustration. “I’m no better than those bloodsucking monsters that took Mum.”

“How can you even say that?” she shrieked back. “What we found out changes many things, but it doesn’t change us. It doesn’t change who we are and what we've done. You’re my brother.”

“Don't you get it?” Sebastian demanded, his features hardening and changing until he was nearly unrecognisable to her. “I'm a demon. I’ve already done bad shit. I just can’t remember it.” He laughed without humour. “I am a bad person. I’ve killed people.” The admission struck Lilliah to her core. She knew her brother, knew him better than anyone else on the entire planet. She was the first to admit that sometimes he was a little shit, but he definitely wasn’t a demon.

“You’re not a bad person. In
this
life, you’re
not
a demon. You’re my brother,” she stressed, wanting him to believe her so badly.

“This life isn’t anything,” he roared. “None of this is real.”

“But it’s the only thing we have.” Her words stopped Sebastian for just a moment. Seeing it as her chance, Lilliah dived in with an emotional speech, ready with the emotional blackmail. “I don't remember being an angel or being Michael’s daughter.” She walked to stand in front of Sebastian and took his hands, holding them in her own. “I remember Christmas with Mum and Dad. I remember you punching that guy who broke my doll when we were seven,” she said, smiling at the memory. “I remember us sneaking downstairs to see if we could see Santa, and I remember you holding me when Dad died.” Looking into Sebastian’s eyes, she knew she was hitting a nerve. “You were the one who held me up when I couldn’t walk to his funeral. You told me you'd carry me in if you had to. That's what's real to me.”

“How can you even look at me the same way?” he asked after a long, silent minute, his shoulders dropping with defeat and shame.

“Because you’re my brother.” She shrugged, leaning up to hug him.

“I can’t believe I actually fell for that corny speech.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “But I did.”

“It was corny,” she agreed, taking a step back. “But the corny speeches work best.”

Chapter 6

They had been at the mansion for over a week, but it felt much longer to Lilliah. They still had no idea where her mum was, and she was getting frustrated. Benedict had assured her that they were doing all they possibly could, but because of the dream-like state the vampires had put her in, it was taking longer than expected to find her. She had read almost every book in Azrael’s library about angels, and she had Googled everything she could think of, yet she still felt like she was in the dark. What was true? What wasn’t true? It was getting very hard to tell. Frankly, she was starting not to care. Did vampires really hate garlic? Did they sparkle in the sunlight? Did it really matter that she didn’t know? The easiest thing would have been for her to ask Azrael, but for the past few days, he had been away on business. Lilliah had no idea where he had gone or for how long he’d be away; she just knew that something important had come up that only he could deal with. He had left with the promise that he'd be back as soon as he could.

After a few days of sulking, Sebastian had finally come out of his room and had also thrown himself into the library. That small room was getting very crowded. He wanted to know everything there was to know about demons, but of course, there wasn’t much. Most demons were locked away in Hell with Lucifer, so there was little known about them. The only solid fact they had found had come from Benedict when he explained the Day of the Dead again, basically just repeating what Azrael had already said. But even with this small bit of information, Sebastian was empowered. He was a man on a mission. She was happy he had come out of his depressive state and had started to accept what had been thrust upon them, but he dragged Rebecca with him everywhere he went.

“You have more resources!” he’d told her when she had questioned why Sebastian and Rebecca had been spending so much time together. “I need all the help I can get!”
Lilliah reluctantly gave in. Sadly, that left her alone to research angels.

Benedict had tried to help when he could, but she wanted more. She wouldn't admit it out loud, but what she really wanted was Azrael. She wanted him to tell her everything he knew. She wanted him to comfort her when she pretended to cry, just so she could get a feel of his rock-hard muscles. But instead, she was left with Benedict, who in the looks department came in pretty close to Azrael, but still wasn't the same. What she found most interesting was Benedict himself; she could have listened to him talk for hours. He had told her he was a warlock—a male witch. He’d explained that unlike vampires and werewolves, witches and warlocks had originally descended from humans. Although magic like his had been passed down from generation to generation, it was also a result of all the angels falling to Earth.

“Earth wasn’t made for magic,” Benedict had told her, much like Azrael had a few days earlier. “We don't know how it happened, or why, but when the angels fell to Earth, another power was released. It infected five bloodlines. The powers were passed from child to child through the generations. Our powers were too weak against the original fallen like Azrael,” he had explained. “But as all the originals turned to stone, their curses were still living in the blood of the humans they had infected. Our powers worked much better on those. So now we act as a safeguard between the human world and the magical one, keeping all the werewolves and vampires in check,” he had joked. “The magical world needs to be contained. It can’t spill over.”

“Why not?” she had questioned.

“Humans wouldn't be able to handle the truth. They’re delicate. They need to be protected.”

Lilliah had been about to correct him but had stopped herself. There was no point in getting into a debate about how tough humans really were. “So, it’s the job of every witch and warlock to protect humans?” she had pressed instead, thinking the witches and warlocks had definitely pulled the short straw when it came to magical responsibility.

“It was, yes, originally.” He breathed out. “But there are some who decided they didn’t want to be part of this world. They didn’t want to be fighting in a battle that wasn’t theirs. So The Cure was created.”

“The Cure?” None of this had been in the books she had been reading.

“A group of witches and warlocks coming together for the sole purpose of protecting humans, keeping them unaware of the magical world.”

Great!
Lilliah had thought, heading back to the library.
Another species to research. Another magical group that can possibly have my mother. When will it end?

“Thought I’d find you in here.” Lilliah looked up as Rebecca walked in, almost dragging her feet. “I’m not sure how much more reading I can do, Lil. All the words are blurring into one.”

“Tell me about it.” Lilliah flopped down on the nearest chair, mentally exhausted.

“Your brother’s on a mission, though. Nothing will stop him now.” Rebecca smiled, her whole face warming up.

Lilliah had noticed how close Rebecca and Sebastian had become over the past week, which wasn't totally unexpected, as they had been thrust into a completely insane situation together. It was natural that they'd bond. What Lilliah hadn’t expected was for her best friend to fall for her brother, and she had definitely fallen. Judging by the silly grin on her best friend’s face, it was obvious to Lilliah that Rebecca had fallen hard.

“Have you spoken to Azrael yet?” Rebecca asked, walking over to put her books back in their place on the shelf.

“He's back?” Lilliah asked, shooting up from her chair. “When did he get back?” She hated how pathetic she must have sounded.

“Just now, I think,” Rebecca replied, choosing not to comment on the desperate tone in her friend’s voice. “I saw him driving up.”
Before she could say anything else, Lilliah was up and out of the room, nervously running her hands through her hair. She walked down the hall, trying to mentally prepare herself to see him again. She’d left like she'd been starved for the sight of him. Would he find it weird if she ran up to him and licked his face? Would that be too much? By the time she reached the top of the stairs, she’d decided against the face licking and decided to go with a nice, polite “hello” instead. 

She heard the voices before she saw them—Azrael and Dena.

Crouching down, she crawled to the top of the stairs, trying to hear what Azrael was talking about. Dark wooden beams hid her. Dena’s flaming hair stood out against the dark setting. She hated that woman. She knew she had no right to be jealous—Azrael was by no means her boyfriend, and she wasn’t sure if he was even a friend—but when she saw him talking to Dena, who was leaning casually on the doorframe to his office and flirtatiously putting her hand on his chest, Lilliah couldn’t help the emotions that rushed through her. She wanted to run down to them, rip Dena’s hands off him, and then drag Azrael far from Dena’s greedy gaze. She didn’t, of course; instead, she stayed at the top of the stairs, trying to eavesdrop on their conversation like some weird stalker.

“You should come with me,” she heard Dena purr.

Can she make it any more obvious?
Lilliah thought, hoping she wasn’t as obvious when it came to her attraction to Azrael.

“You know I have to stay here,” Azrael replied in the lightest tone Lilliah had ever heard him use. Her jealousy turned into a blazing fire, spreading over her entire body.

“Yes, I know,” she heard Dena sulk.

Daring another look, Lilliah rolled her eyes at Dena’s over-dramatic pout. Could Azrael really be interested in Dena? The thought didn’t sit well with Lilliah.

“You’re the only person I know who babysits their prey.” Dena laughed. The words froze Lilliah to her spot.

“Babysitting?” Azrael repeated, amused. “I guess that’s what I’m doing.”

“All of this for the girl’s blood. Is it really worth it?”

Lilliah’s eyes widened. She felt as if someone had stomped on her chest. Azrael wasn’t her saviour. He wasn’t her knight in shining armour. He was the one she should have been running from. She didn’t hear what else was said. Instead, she crawled away until she was certain they couldn’t see her, and then she ran to Sebastian.

She burst through the door, still gasping for breath. “Sebastian, we have to leave.”

One look at his sister’s frightened expression had Sebastian on his feet. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Azrael. He’s not here to help us. He’s just as bad as those vampires that took Mum,” she rushed out all at once.

“What? Why?” He moved to stand in front of her, placing his hands on her upper arms to steady her.

“He wants to kill me. He’s after my blood.”

Lilliah had barely whispered the sentence before Sebastian was on the move. Lilliah watched him dart from one side of the room to another, grabbing items and shoving them into a bag.

“Are you sure? We've been here for a week. Why hasn’t he just killed us?”

“I know what I heard. He was talking with Dena about it like it was nothing!” she almost screeched.

“I believe you,” he said, coming to stand in front of her. “We’ll go to your room, get your things, then go get Rebecca.”

Lilliah didn’t speak; she just moved her head in a jerky nod. Azrael wanted to kill her. The thought was finally hitting home, as was the fear.

“He was going to kill me,” she whispered, unsure whether she had even said the words out loud.

“Come on,” Sebastian commanded, already walking out of the room.

Lilliah didn’t have a lot to pack, just a few clothes that had been brought for her while she was at the mansion. “That’s it,” she whispered, not fully trusting her voice yet.

“Okay. Let’s go get Rebecca.”

Lilliah let Sebastian lead her down the hall, thankful he was taking the lead. It didn’t take long for them to explain everything to Rebecca and for her to gather her belongings so that they could leave. Lilliah was feeling an urgency to get out of the mansion as quickly as possible. A place that had felt like a safe haven from the crazy vampires and demons outside now felt like a prison full of enemies.

“We should take the back door,” Sebastian suggested as they walked through the halls, trying not to run or draw attention to themselves.

“Wait,” Lilliah whispered, slowing as she heard voices coming from down the hall. This could be their only chance to escape. As soon as Azrael realised that she knew what he was really after, surely he'd put them under lock and key and under constant surveillance.

“It’s Benedict,” she said, recognizing the voice as it grew closer.

“Run,” Sebastian suggested, about ready to bolt down the hall before Lilliah turned, grabbing his sleeve.

“No,” she ordered sharply. “Act normal. Whatever you do, act normal.” She turned to Rebecca, making sure she understood. Wide-eyed, Rebecca just smiled weakly, her nerves showing through.

“Lilliah?” Benedict turned the corner, a phone in his hand.

“Hey,” she replied with a smile.

“Are you lost?” He was still smiling, but his eyes hardened slightly as they flickered between all three of them.

“No, just going to the library.” She shrugged, noticing the way his eyes lingered on Rebecca's petrified expression a little longer before skimming over their bags. “Everything’s just kind of getting to Rebecca,” she took Rebecca’s shaky hand in hers and giving it a squeeze. “So we're all going to spend the night in the library, look some stuff up, and chill out for a little bit.”

“Yeah. Of course. None of the mansion is off limits to any of you.” Benedict's smile was long gone. Now he just looked worried.

“Oh. That’s good then,” Lilliah quickly said, wanting to get away from the situation as soon as possible.

She could feel Benedict’s eyes on her as they walked past him and rounded the corner.

As soon as she was sure they were a safe distance away, Lilliah whispered,
“Run
.”

Azrael stared down at the papers on his desk. He couldn’t concentrate on anything. All he could think about was Lilliah. Annoyed, he pushed the papers aside, banging his hand on the desk in frustration. He didn’t know what to do with himself anymore. Even his work, which was normally his escape, didn’t hold his attention for more than a few minutes. What was happening to him? He stood and walked over to the mirror. He snarled at his reflection, disgusted at himself and ashamed of the angel he had become.

“How can a small girl make you crumble?” He gritted his teeth, a pain shooting through his chest as agonising  as any physical blow.

She’s not just any girl though, is she?
  Even thinking the words hurt. It was as if his body was in a battle against itself. His trained military mind wanted to end it, attack the prey and win. But another part of him, a piece he thought had died long ago, stood in his way. A part that he could only describe as his soul. He turned away from his reflection. Was he becoming weak? No, Azrael was never weak. He had been the leader of Heaven’s army. Picked by Lucifer himself. He was
not
weak. Azrael needed to finish it, end his torment and kill Lilliah. It had always been the plan.

“No.” He couldn’t even think about hurting her. He screamed, slamming his fist into the wall. How could he not know his own mind? How could a simple touch change everything he had believed for so long? Because that was when it had changed.  Azrael fell into the leather seat behind him. His body was tense, ready for a fight. But he was fighting himself.  The moment he had touched her, his body had come alive. It was a feeling he couldn’t explain but at the same time didn’t want to stop. The feeling started as a tingle in his arms and then quickly grew, shooting to his chest and all over his entire body until he was abuzz with energy.  At the time he had needed to get away from her, to try and understand what was happening, but even as he walked away, his body detested it.  In minutes he had gone from wanting to kill her to just
wanting
her. He couldn’t pinpoint what it was about Lilliah that drew him in, but he craved it. He would never admit it out loud but the feeling of her small hand in his was quickly becoming his favourite thing, even better then sex or fighting.  He snorted at how pathetic it was. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Azrael took in a deep breath. He couldn’t hurt Lilliah, that much he did know.  Nor did he want to. But he was still undecided on what his next step would be. With Lilliah safe under his roof, he didn’t have to make the decision right away.