Rough & Rugged (Notorious Devils Book 3) (14 page)

Johnny wraps a hand around the back of my neck and another around my hip. His chocolate eyes are focused on me, hurt radiating through them. It’s not something I ever thought I would see in this man’s eyes.

“Andy told him to come see me. I thought it was you at the door when I answered it. I haven’t seen Steve in a year,” I explain. Johnny doesn’t react, not even a little. “I don’t know what we are, Johnny. You say you’re my man, but I don’t even have your phone number. We’ve only known each other a week.”

“Known you for three years, Hattie. You’ve always been in the back of my mind. The only way I know how to make you believe that I’m yours is to show you. It’ll take time and I’ll prove it, princess. I’m not just in this for your cunt,” he murmurs before he leans down and his lips brush mine. “Even if it’s the best cunt I’ve ever had,” he smiles.

“Johnny,” I gasp, which only causes him to laugh.

“You look hot as fuck. Now, come inside and meet some of my brothers,” he smiles as he moves his hand away from my neck and wraps it around my waist, pulling me into his side.

I wrap my arm around my girl and bring her into my side. She does look hot as fuck tonight, in a pair of skintight pants and a loose tank with a short jacket thing on; plus, her heels alone are making my dick hard. Something’s off, though. She’s not as happy as she was when I left her this morning, and I don’t think it’s all due to that piece of shit who was at her door when I arrived to pick her up.

Brother Andy and I are going to have words here shortly. I understand that Hattie is his baby sister and he’s trying to protect her or some shit, but I can’t have him sending pencil dicks over at all hours to try and get in her panties—
my panties,
now.

I open the door to the club and cringe slightly at how Hattie must see all of this. I was a lot later than I intended picking her up tonight. MadDog and I started shooting the shit, and before I realized what was happening, the party had started and it was already after nine in the evening.

“Johnny,” she whispers, though I can hardly hear her over the pounding music of the bar.

“This is a party, you’ve been here before,” I shout.

Hattie nods but her eyes are wide as she looks around. This isn’t just any party. There’s no hang-arounds, just brothers, and the original charter from Cali can fuckin’
party
. I glance up at the pool table where Serina is straddling some guy, while another one pounds her ass. The bitch loves double penetration fucking. I personally don’t like feeling another dudes nuts against mine. Been there, done that. I prefer double pussy.

“Is she? With two guys at once?” Hattie asks, her innocent eyes unbelieving of all she’s seeing.

“Yeah,” I chuckle as I guide her toward the bar.

I need a fuckin’ drink. I need to get Hattie a drink, too—hopefully get her away from the crazy crowd and with the Old Ladies.

“Have you ever?” she asks.

I freeze in my tracks and look down at her. I don’t have to answer because it must be clearly written all over me. Hattie’s face pales and she immediately looks down at the ground. I don’t think, I grab her chin with my fingers and lift her head up so that I can look into her pretty green eyes. The doubt and uncertainty, the
defeat
in them kills me.

“I’ve done a lot. You have to understand that. I’ve tried a lot of different things. Look around, this life is uninhibited,” I say, trying to be gentle.

“Do you want to do those things with me?” she asks as she bites her bottom lip.

“You’re young, Hattie, you probably don’t know what you want yet, and that’s cool. You want to experiment, then that’s cool, too. I know that I want you right now. If something changes, if I want to play, I’ll tell you,” I murmur.

Her eyes search mine, looking for something—for what, I don’t know. I’m serious, though. I don’t want anybody else right now. That could change. I like to play in bed, I don’t see that part of my appetites changing anytime soon. But for now, my cock only wants Hattie.

“I don’t know if I could, Johnny,” she says. Her voice is so soft, I can hardly hear her between the bass and the loud people of the party.

“It’s not something we need to talk about right now; it isn’t
relevant
right now,” I say, trying to ease her mind.

She nods, but I can tell she is uncomfortable. Not the way I saw this fuckin’ night going. I wrap her hand in mine and finish walking toward the bar. I call out for a shot of whiskey and a couple of beers to the prospect who is trying to fill orders as fast as he can. I think about Brentlee and how good she was at being our bartender, how fun it was to have her back there, giving her shit and vice versa.

I turn around and hand Hattie a beer before I shoot the whiskey I ordered. Then I feel a hand clamp down on my shoulder. I turn to see Fury next to me, his opposite hand grabbing two long neck beers as well.

“C’mon, Kentlee’s been dyin’ to meet her—officially,” he grunts.

I pull Hattie behind me again as I follow Fury to a group of tables. The men who have Old Ladies are all hanging around. Not a place I would normally find myself during a party, but I have Hattie now.

I find an empty seat and sit down before pulling her tiny body onto my lap. She falls without protest and I wonder what she’s thinking. The conversation we need to have about how I like to fuck can’t be had at this party, and she’s not ready for it, anyway.

I introduce her to Fury and Kentlee, Sniper and Brentlee, and Vault and Rosie. MadDog is nowhere to be seen, and I figure he’s somewhere getting laid out of the view of Kentlee.

“So, Hattie, what do you do? Are you in school?” Kentlee asks while taking a pull from her beer.

“I uh… I worked at a bank as a vault teller.
But I was let go
,” she whispers. My whole body freezes.

I dropped her off this morning.

Let go?

“You live in Sagle, don’t you? Maybe you can get a job here, be closer to Johnny?” Brentlee suggests.

“Maybe,” Hattie nods.

The rest of the evening we drink beer and shoot the shit. It isn’t wild and crazy; it isn’t like anything I have ever experienced before at a party.

It’s calm and relaxing. It’s
nice
.

I know I’m getting laid later, and I’m looking forward to it, but sitting around with my brothers and their Old Ladies, listening to the women’s voices in the background while I shoot the shit with the men—it calms me.

“Gonna take my woman dancing,” Fury announces as he stands and picks up Kentlee, carrying her onto the dancefloor while she yells at him that she’s too heavy.

Sniper and Brentlee take off too, as do Vault and Rosie. All that’s left of our group is Hattie and me. I haven’t forgotten what she said about her job, and I’m ready to ask her more about it.

“Let’s go to my room, princess,” I murmur against the back of her neck.

“I need to go to the restroom first,” she says.

I grin as she stands and take her to the communal bathrooms down from my bedroom. They’re not the cleanest, but they’re better than the ones in the bar area. I stand and wait for her against the wall.

Something is off with her.

I don’t know Hattie well, but she isn’t as happy as she was this morning. Her mention of being let go worries me, and her obvious discomfort about different sexual desires is concerning as well. Though I never thought she’d be completely open and free sexually, I didn’t think that it would affect her so much.

The only women I’ve been with since high school have been whores. I don’t know if I can do this with her. I like that she’s a good girl, that she’s
my
girl, but I don’t want a prude.

“She’s a really pretty girl,” Serina says as she walks out of the bathroom with a wide smile on her lips.

“What did you say?” I growl.

“Nothing really,” she shrugs before she hurries away.

T
hat disgusting skank.

I saw her not two hours ago with two guys inside of her, and here she is telling me that she gave Johnny a blow job just this morning. I don’t want to believe her, but I do. I don’t know Johnny and he’s already said some things that lead me to believe he’s not exactly what I thought he was.

It doesn’t shock me that he’s into threesomes, but it does that he’d want that with me. Not that I imagine all men aren’t or wouldn’t be open to it. I don’t think it would matter how comfortable I am with him or anybody else, I don’t have that desire, and I don’t think that I ever will.

I walk out of the bathroom a few minutes after she leaves, after she’s told me that she sucked Johnny’s cock this morning. I feel
hollow
. I shouldn’t care as much as I do, but I’ve finally got the man I’ve been dreaming about for three years and he’s not at all what I imagined he’d be. My mind made him so perfect, and the reality is that he’s flawed. He’s not perfect, and I have to decide if his flaws are something I can live with or not.

“What’d she say to you?” he asks as soon as we are inside of his room and he’s locked the door.

“That she sucked your cock this morning, and for me not to get comfortable with you to myself because you like to share,” I say looking into his eyes.

“Okay,” he says.

Johnny’s lack of response makes me angry. He’s said he was
my
man, that we were in a relationship, and now he’s just saying
okay
?

“Okay?” I ask trying to stay calm.

I don’t get angry easily, and I’m a doormat—I know that I am—but when provoked, my temper can get the best of me from time-to-time.

“I didn’t invite her into my room. I didn’t ask her to do anything. I woke up as I was coming. I thought it was a dream, I thought it was
you
,” he says, offering his lame excuse.

“Why did I find out from her?” I ask.

“Because I knew it’d piss you off. I didn’t want drama; I didn’t want
this
. I wanted to have a nice night with my woman, followed by some hot as fuck sex, then repeat that shit for tomorrow,” he grins.

There it is again; the reason he really wants me here—
sex
. I can’t handle it. I thought I could, but I can’t. Not if he’s going to be doing whatever he wants with whoever he wants. I’m not that girl. I can’t blindly go on pretending he’s not with other people while I wait for him
.

I want more.

I deserve more. I pinch my eyes closed before I ask him for his phone.

“Why do you want my phone?” he asks, furrowing his brows.

“I’m calling Andy to come and pick me up. I shouldn’t have come,” I murmur, holding my hand out.

Johnny doesn’t place his phone in my hand. He bats it away and wraps his hand around my ass, pulling me into his chest. He lowers his head so that our noses touch, and with a deep rumbled voice, he speaks.

“You ain’t callin’ your asshole brother. You can’t leave me; you’re
mine,
Hattie. That bitch shouldn’t have said anything to you. I warned her. I don’t want her. I want
you
.”

I place my hands flat on his chest and push, but he’s too strong and his grip on me is too tight.

“I don’t want to be
yours
. Not if this is the way it’s going to be. Maybe other women don’t care, but I do. I care,” I sob, unable to hold my tears in another minute longer.