Rough & Rugged (Notorious Devils Book 3) (17 page)

“I’ll be okay,” I wince as he pulls out of me and lets my leg go.

I turn in his arms and look up at him. Johnny brushes my hair away from my face and cups my cheeks, his thumbs grazing my cheekbones.

“You’re too good to me, Hattie. I don’t deserve you at all, but I won’t let you go, either,” he sighs as he bends down and brushes his lips against mine.

“I’m yours, Johnny. It’s as simple as that,” I shrug.

“Let’s get ready and get some food,” he suggests, changing the subject.

I don’t say anything, choosing to walk over to my bag and gather all of my toiletries. I hate that they have communal showers, and I’m dreading being in the bathroom and having that bitch, Serina, anywhere near me again.

Johnny tells me to take my time, that he’ll be right outside the door when I’m finished so that he can walk me back to his room to get dressed. I nod as my answer and hurry to take care of my business and shower.

I want to get on with the day, to eat, and look at apartments. I’m excited, nervous, and terrified all rolled into one. This relationship could explode into something ugly and nasty, or it could be exactly what both of us is looking for. But if I don’t take the leap of faith, I’ll never know.

Andy and Willa are convinced Johnny is bad news, and maybe he is, but I don’t think so. I think he’s damaged from a crappy childhood and he’s found himself a family. I watched him with his friends last night, and the women they called their own. His friends are rough, and they seem to all be cut from the same cloth, but their women are cute and sweet. Nothing like that horrible Serina slut, and women I could see myself becoming friends with in the future.

I didn’t feel out of place or unaccepted; in fact, I felt the exact opposite. I like that for him, that he has good women around him. It also says something about the men—that although they are rough, they are good too, because those women wouldn’t be at their sides if they weren’t.

I scroll through my phone—five new messages.

Five
.

All from my mother.

Wanting nothing other than her next fix.

I close my eyes. I don’t want to deal with her,
ever
. From past experience, I know if I don’t, she’ll start calling next; then she’ll show up at the clubhouse. I don’t want my brothers to have to deal with her druggie ass if I’m not here.

I’ll have to give her some more money. She’s been coming to me more frequently, which means she’s not just a little off the wagon, but completely and totally strung out.

There were times where my mom was good, under control. Those times were few and far between, but when it happened, she tried to be a good mom. My father, however,
never
tried. He liked my mom high and dependent on him. He liked having the control over her that her habit gave him. He had a habit of his own. Sure he liked drugs, but he liked pussy more, and a wide variety of it.

Unfortunately, he didn’t hide it—even made my mom join him. Maybe that’s where I get my need from, because I saw him bangin’ my mom and other bitches all my life. Sometimes even other guys, tag teaming my mom with him. Nothing hidden, everything out in the open.

“Hey,” Hattie says from in front of me.

I look down and grin. She’s clean faced, her hair wet from her shower, and she’s wrapped in a towel.
Totally fuckable
. I could take her again, but her pussy is probably throbbing. While I like the fact that she’ll be feeling me between her thighs all day, I also want to fuck her tonight, so I’ll give her a few hours reprieve.

“Let’s get you dressed so you can eat,” I murmur.

I watch as her face breaks out into a wide smile and it makes my chest ache. It’s unfamiliar and I don’t understand it, but it makes me feel warm inside.

I lie on the bed a few minutes later as I text my mom back, telling her that she’ll get her money this afternoon. I feel like shit knowing I’m, essentially, just giving her drugs. I hit send and then look up and watch Hattie. She’s slipped into a pair of tight jeans and an off the shoulder, loose sweater that is cropped and shows off just a thin line of her flat stomach. Her hair is still damp, but it’s in a braid that runs down and over her shoulder. Then I watch as she slips on a pair of short boots. She looks fuckin’ cute.

“I’m ready,” she announces as she grabs her purse and throws it over the shoulder opposite of her long braid of hair.

“No makeup?” I ask in surprise.

“Do I need some?” She looks mildly panicked and it makes me want to laugh.

“No, princess, you look good just the way you are,” I grunt.

I take her hand in mine and guide her out of my room. I’m hungry as fuck, and if I stay in that room another minute, I’m going to need her pussy again. I’m a fucking addict, jonesin’ for a hit.

“Church at five,” Torch calls out as we walk out of the bar.

Fuck
,
I forgot about church tonight
. Though I shouldn’t have because the original charter’s men are still littering the main room.

“What’s church?” Hattie asks after we’re in my car.

I hate that I have to drive this cage around so much lately, but Hattie hasn’t ridden since that one short distance when she was sixteen, and it’s getting colder out. I don’t want her to hate it; I want to wait for the perfect day to put her on the back of my bike—to show her just how awesome it is to feel free.

“It’s just what we call meetings,” I inform her as I drive toward town to the best diner we have in Bonners Ferry.

Hattie doesn’t say anything else and its
nice
. She’s good at just being at my side. She doesn’t talk incessantly about stupid ass shit just to fill silence, like other women do. I like how we can just be with each other, next to each other, and not feel the need to fill the air with words all of the time.

I pull the car into the diner and we quickly get out. I wrap my arm around her waist as soon as we walk inside of the place and wait for the waitress to seat us. I cringe when I see who it is. She’s a girl that parties with us on the weekends, and I think we’ve all had our turn with her, including me—well, Tasha and me.

“Hey, Dirty Johnny, how are you?” she asks, puffing out her chest, making it really hard not to look at her big tits.

“Hey, Harmony,” I murmur. “Table for two.”

“Yeah.” She sighs as she takes the plastic menus out of their holder and starts to walk toward a booth.

Hattie is stiff beside me now. I know she hasn’t missed the way Harmony is acting. It’s obvious there’s been something between us.

“Your waitress will be with you in a minute. I get off at four if you two need something else entirely,” she grins. Then she leans down and shows me even more of her ample cleavage. “Miss that big cock of yours and the way you fuck me dirty. I’ll even eat your girl out if that’s what you want.”

Harmony winks before she walks away from us, not waiting for a response. I adjust my dick in my pants as images of Harmony sucking on Hattie’s clit while I fuck her runs through my head. Then I turn to Hattie who is looking down at her menu, appearing to read it.

“What do you want to eat, princess?” I ask, trying to change the subject, hoping she hadn’t heard Harmony.

I’m not ready to share Hattie, not really. Though Harmony painted a pretty image, I don’t want her. I only want Hattie, and I want her all to myself. That will change. It’s inevitable. I’ve never fucked just one woman for any length of time. But I’m enjoying it being just the two of us for now.

“Um, you pick for me. I need to go to the restroom,” she mutters. She’s up and gone before I can say another word.

“That little girl will never understand a man like you,” Harmony says as she leans a hip against the booth.

“Yeah? Why’s that?” I ask as I stare at the closed bathroom door.

“You are rugged and rough, and you need to fuck like you need air to breathe. A man like you could never be tied down to one pussy. Just like I could never be tied down to one dick. It just isn’t in us to commit to one person.” Harmony says.

She leaves my side and I think about her words.
A man like you could never be tied down to one pussy.
I’ve always thought that, always. That was why I never even tried a relationship. Not until Hattie. Not any one woman has held my interest long enough for much more than an occasional second fuck, let alone more than that.

I mean, I fuck Tasha, Harmony, and Serina repeatedly, but that’s what they’re around for. There’s nothing but sex with them. With Hattie, it’s
more
. I actually feel for her. I want to keep her safe, protect her, watch her wake up in the morning, and fall asleep next to her at night.

I don’t know what I want.

I want Hattie, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay true to her. Harmony is right. Hattie’ll never understand that I need other women. I don’t ever want to hurt her, and I think that would hurt her, watching me fuck another woman. I know it would kill me to see another man fuck her. I could never share her with a man—
ever
.

She’s mine.

I
pull the paper towel from the holder and blot under my eyes, hoping that I don’t look like I’ve been crying my eyes out, which of course I have. I look to my right when a figure appears next to me. It’s the waitress, the big breasted waitress that Johnny’s fucked, who just offered her services to the both of us. Of course she wanted Johnny to fuck her while she so graciously ate me out.
Gross
. I wouldn’t want this girl’s mouth anywhere near me.

“My guess? He’s made you feel like you’re special and you’re suddenly realizing that you aren’t so special, am I right?” she asks as she leans her ass against the sink.

I refuse to answer her—not because she’s correct, but because she’s a bitch.

“He’ll never commit. Not fully. So he fucks only you for a while. Then he’ll want to bring in another woman. You’ll oblige because you’ll do whatever it takes to make him happy. Then, he’s fucking whores and girls at parties, strippers from their club, all while you’re at home keeping his bed warm until he decides to grace you with his presence again. You’ll get fed up and threaten to leave him. But where will you go? Then, when he thinks you’re leaving him, he’ll knock you up and you’re stuck for life while he does whatever he wants to,” she explains. It all hits far too close to home for comfort.

“I was raised in this town, honey. I’ve seen how these men go through women; then when they finally get a good one, I’ve watched how they trap them into being their Old Lady. Dirty Johnny is no different, and neither are you. Take some friendly advice, girl-to-girl.
Leave, go,
run
. Find yourself a nice boy your own age and live in your little white house with your little white picket fence. Leave the rough men for girls like me,” she grins. Then, without another word, she leaves me in the bathroom.

The waitress may have left, but she didn’t take her words with her.
No
. Those words took root and they are now imbedded in my head.

She is right, about all of it. I know that Johnny likes multiple partners, and he’s already mentioned me having his baby, and today he wants to look for a place for us, but he made it clear he wouldn’t be there every night.