Roses of Winter (56 page)

This exaggerated sensitivity had resulted in his circle of friends being small and carefully selected. It often manifested itself in a critical and disdainful view of others. Donald found it difficult to approach any woman he was interested in. He feared rejection and masked it with a diffident and distant manner that some women found puzzling and many infuriating.

Peter regretted his casual remark. He had intended it as a gentle spur to prompt Donald to overcome his shyness but feared that it had accomplished quite the opposite.
 
Donald’s response to his invitation had been non-committal. Peter had dropped the subject but not his determination to see Donald back at the dances. For the rest of the week he pondered different methods to persuade his friend but came up with nothing plausible.

❅❅❅❅❅

Ellen had felt flattered by the attention of the males who courted her at Hogmanay. While none of her would-be suitors had met with the slightest success in securing a date, they had helped reawaken a desire in her to be out in the world again.
Going to Jaconelli’s and the Star with a few friends from work was all very well, but not enough
, Ellen thought. She had enjoyed being the center of attention again and craved more. It was the reassertion of this less appealing aspect of her personality that now drove her personal renaissance.
 

There was no satisfaction to be derived from her work at McLellan’s. Ellen hated her job. She hated the very idea of having to work. Charlie had wanted Ellen to stay on at school but she had left at the first opportunity. Now she felt herself confined by work as she had done in the classroom. Ellen accepted no one’s authority over her. She liked men but not the idea of being married to one.
 
Not even her love for Jim had matched her ambivalence.
How boring to have sex with just one man and be confined to that for a lifetime
, Ellen thought. She ached to discover what it felt like to have sex. Ellen had come close to finding out on several occasions. Only fear of the consequences had stopped her.
 

The act itself was no mystery to Ellen. What her mother’s hesitant teaching had left out, her work mates had filled in. By a process of trial and error she had discovered how to bring her body to a state of arousal. As pleasurable as that was, it did not sate her curiosity or her desire for the real thing. Ellen knew that outside of getting married there was no way to experience sex without inviting the disapproval of her parents and most of her peers. This message had been dinned into her since adolescence and before.
 

The war had done nothing to change Ellen’s essential character. She had viewed it as an inconvenience that interfered with her wishes and plans. Even the loss of Jim, as grievous as it had been for her, had an element of relief in it. This emotion had been buried so deeply that Ellen could deny it even to herself. Ellen was more guarded now in what she would reveal to others. She concealed her real purposes while maneuvering to get her way.
 

It was Ellen’s nature to surround herself with a coterie of friends and acquaintances. Membership in this company depended on how well the individual met Ellen’s need for attention. Some realized the underlying superficiality in Ellen’s personality and went voluntarily. Others became victim to her ability to take offense at the smallest transgression, approval vanishing like a wisp of smoke. Ellen’s closest confidante of the moment was Mary Martin. Two years younger than Ellen, she was naïve and inexperienced enough to think Ellen sophisticated. Mary sought Ellen’s opinion on every topic from makeup to men. Her friend’s lack of self-confidence bred a proprietary attitude in Ellen. She adopted the plan of drawing Mary out.

“You’ll no’ find a man sitting at hame,” she admonished the nervous girl. “And you’ll no’ get a man looking like that,” she added.

“What’s the matter with the way I look?” Mary asked.

“It’s no’ what you’ve got, “ Ellen told her. “It’s what your doing with it. We’ll start with your hair.”
 
A trip to the hairdresser was followed by the purchase of a carefully selected dress, handbag and shoes. Mary had to concede that she liked the results displayed in the full-length mirror of her mother’s wardrobe.

“Ach, ye just needed a wee bit o’ help,” Ellen told Mary. “Now it’s time tae introduce the new you. Ah heard there’s a wee dance down in Partick on Saturday night. Ah bet the men will be buzzing around you like bees at a jam pot. You won’t have time tae worry about it,” Ellen told the nervous girl. “You’ll be too busy picking who you want tae dance with.”

❅❅❅❅❅

Donald looked at his image in the mirror and combed a stray strand of hair into submission. He had succumbed to Peter’s gentle but relentless prodding. Since then Donald’s mind had swung between trying to come up with a plausible excuse and finding a way to bolster his self-confidence sufficiently to meet the glove thrown down by Peter’s sister. He had taken the extravagant step of buying a new shirt and jacket.
 

Bessie gave him an approving look when he entered the kitchen. “A special occasion, Donald?” she asked.

He shook his head. “Naw, ah just thought it was time for a change,” he replied.
 

Bessie wondered if perhaps Donald had at last found a young woman. She hoped so. There had been no one since May. Bessie knew that her wish for her son was not purely for his benefit. If he settled down with someone local it might keep him from emigrating. She was ashamed of herself for thinking it.
 

The band was setting up when Donald arrived. “Is your sister coming the night?” Donald asked.

“Ah think she said she was,” Peter replied. “You’re not going tae tell her whit ah said, are ye?” he asked.

“Naw,” Donald replied, “But ah
am
going tae teach her a lesson.”

Peter smiled. “As far as ah’m concerned, ye can go right ahead.”
 

Donald bided his time through the first couple of dances. During the third tune, Peter’s sister, whose name was Nora, entered the hall with a couple of friends. She cast a quick glance Donald’s way then looked away when he caught her eye. The three women found seats on the far side of the hall.

Donald let another tune go by. He surveyed the area near Nora and her friends. He needed to find someone who was not likely to casually brush him off. Donald spotted two women sitting near the group. He studied them for a few moments. The first was surveying the dance floor.
 
Her manner struck Donald as too appraising and bold for his purpose. The other appeared to be shy but rather well turned out and respectable looking. Donald headed in her direction.

Ellen gave Mary Martin’s elbow a discreet nudge. “Don’t look now, but ah think that good looking man is coming in our direction,” she said.

Mary gave Donald a quick glance.

“Ah expect he’s going to ask you to dance,” she said.

Donald stopped in front of Mary. She looked up at him. “May I have the next dance?” Donald asked.

Mary looked at Ellen then back at Donald. Donald’s resolve faltered but he decided to press ahead and repeated his invitation. Ellen nudged Mary’s elbow.

“Ah would love tae dance with you,” Mary blurted out.

Ellen rolled here eyes at her friend’s unseemly eagerness.
There was more she would have to teach the girl
, Ellen thought. But at least she had accomplished her goal of getting Mary on the dance floor and meeting eligible men. Ellen hadn’t expected it to be quite so easy as her optimistic promise to the girl had suggested.
 

Mary was a nervous wreck on the dance floor. She stepped on Donald’s foot and apologized so profusely that he felt sorry for her.

“Ach, don’t worry about that,” Donald reassured her.
 
“Ah’m no’ that good at this masel’.” Donald’s patience and kind attitude settled Mary’s mind and she began to enjoy herself.

Ellen watched the couple. It hadn’t taken very close scrutiny to convince her that the man was gorgeous.
Why had he picked Mary over he
r? she wondered.
 

Ellen surveyed the other women nearby. One of them was watching every move of the couple. When the man looked in her direction she turned back to her friends. Practiced in the arts of manipulation, Ellen was well schooled in the motivations of others. Mary’s invitation had been one of convenience for the man. She understood now why he had chosen Mary over her. She looked at the young man with raised interest. Ellen surveyed the sandy fair hair framing the handsome face and the trim, athletic frame. In that moment she decided that she wanted him for herself.
 

Ellen did not expect much competition from Mary. She might have a few dances with the man, but it wasn’t likely to come to anything. In the unlikely event that it did, Ellen thought, then she would just have to find a way break it up. Ellen was incapable of feeling one pang of remorse for Mary. Her goal had been to remodel the girl, not find her a romantic partner. Nor could anyone describe Ellen’s motives as purely altruistic. Their roots lay deep in her narcissism. But what if the man brought Mary back and didn’t dance with her again? He might well ignore Ellen as he had before. She had to find a way to get his attention.

Donald was wondering what his next move should be. He had achieved the desired effect on Nora but had no interest in remaining with Mary throughout the evening. Sitting out the rest of the night would be an unsatisfactory conclusion that might leave him open to further ridicule. Donald briefly thought of asking Nora to dance but thought better of it. He really had no interest in Peter’s sister beyond his annoyance at her.

His thoughts turned to Mary’s friend. He was surprised that no one had yet asked her to dance. It was not that she hadn’t attracted attention. Donald had noticed men looking her way. Several hovered nearby. Donald believed he understood the reason for their hesitation. There was a certain intimidating air about the woman.
 

Peter forced the issue by declaring a short break for the band. Donald escorted Mary back to her chair. He thanked her and nodded to Ellen before turning away. Donald found himself falling to the floor. He grabbed a nearby chair. It overturned and skated away from him. Donald landed on his right knee. The smarting pain was the price of averting the ignominy of crashing totally to the floor.

“Are you all right?” Donald looked up into the innocently solicitous face of Ellen, whose foot had sent him on his journey. She helped him to his feet and repeated her inquiry.

“Ah think so,” Donald replied.

“You better sit down for a minute,” Ellen told him. She had positioned herself between him and the dance floor.

Donald thought a moment.
 
There was a throbbing pain in his knee. His leg felt rubbery. “Maybe ah will,” he said. “Ah’ve no idea how ah managed tae dae that.”

“It was all my fault,” Ellen said. “Ah wisnae watching where ah pit mah feet.”

“Ah didnae hurt ye, did ah?” Donald asked.

“Naw, ah’m fine,” Ellen told him. “Ah hope ah havnae spoiled the dancing for ye the night.”

Donald rubbed his knee. “It should be all right in a wee while,” he told her.
 

Not before I get my hooks into you
, Ellen thought. “Are you going tae tell me who the mystery stranger is that landed at mah feet?” she asked.

Donald introduced himself and received her name in turn. The band was returning to their chairs. Donald appeared ready to leave.

“Well, you danced with my friend,” Ellen said. “The least you can do is give me a turn around the floor.”

Donald looked at her. She was a bit forward for his taste. One might almost say brazen. Ellen had said the words in a manner that made refusal difficult.
I’ll give her a dance
, Donald thought,
just to be rid of her
.

They moved into the familiar rhythm of a waltz. The forced proximity gave Donald an opportunity to scrutinize Ellen’s face. She was strikingly attractive. Not in the way that May had been but certainly good looking. The rest of her was fairly well put together as well, he thought.

They passed near the band. Peter sent him a wink and an approving nod. Donald noticed the envious glances of the fainter-hearted who loitered around the edge of the dance floor. His annoyance with Ellen began to dissipate.
 

Ellen was trying to find ways to ingratiate herself.
 
“You’re no’ bad at this,” she said. “Dae ye come here a lot?”

“Once in a while,” Donald replied. “Ah mainly come tae listen tae the band.”
 
Donald’s lack of practical experience was compensated for by a certain athletic grace. Playing football had made him nimble on his feet. He had been able to pick up the rudiments of dancing without any great difficulty. “Ah have’nae seen you here before,” he said.

“Ah usually go tae dances in Maryhill or in the town,” Ellen replied.

“What made you come the night?” Donald asked.

“Mah pal Mary,” Ellen said. “She’s that shy. Ah’m trying tae bring her out o’ hersel’. Ah thought it would be easier for her if we were’nae so close tae home.” Ellen looked over to where Mary was sitting. She looked bored and fed up.