The Alien King and I

The Alien King and I

Lizzie Lynn Lee

Published: 2011

ISBN: SHPFREE22

Published by Summerhouse Publishing.
Copyright, Lizzie Lynn Lee. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains
material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws
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Lizzie Lynn Lee

This is a work of fiction. The
characters, incidents and dialogues in this book are of the
author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any
resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is
completely coincidental.

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I was kidnapped by an alien on my
thirtieth birthday. And not just any alien, he told me he was the
king of his people from a faraway planet: Naxia of Alpha Centauri
B, the nearest star system to our sun. So he had said.

“
I am Fairoh du Urugna,
Lord of Stinani, Vanou, Edora, Adilor, and Iatil, Protector of the
Free Lands, Quadrant Three of Naxia,” he announced in his deep,
baritone voice.

“
But I can call you Steve,
right?” Because, really?

Of course I didn’t believe him. I was
expecting a male stripper. It was my birthday, after all, and my
BFF Carrie had arranged a special party for me hitting the big
three-zero. All the single girls in my office and my close female
friends had been invited. Carrie and I had promised them the party
would be a blast—a wild night in Vegas would look like a Sunday
sermon at the Vatican.

“
Nay, woman,” he rebuked
me, straight-faced. “You may address me as Lord Fai, for you have
been granted the privilege as my chosen mate.”

“
Right.” Strippers these
days seemed to be very committed to their role.

One thing I didn’t understand, though,
was how he’d managed to get me into the room in the first place?
The girls and I had begun partying and I had consumed a
considerable amount of alcohol when I’d opened the door to the,
much awaited, highlight of our party. We were all excited and
giggled “ooh” and “aah” when we saw him.

He was better looking than what I had
anticipated and not in attire I would have expected. For a
stripper, he had dressed too much. The hunk was over seven feet
tall, clad in shiny metal armor like a warrior from the video game
HALO that my nephew is so fond of playing. The only thing missing
from his ensemble was the self-sustaining helmet and a big-assed
laser rifle.

“
Pray, tell me, are you
Lindsey Cunningham?” His voice was deep, seductive.

“
Why, of course, sexy,” I
had answered. “What can I do you for? Missionary? Cowgirl? Reverse
cowgirl? I’m a lady of many talents.” The girls behind me were
jeering and catcalling like raunchy bitches in heat.

He had only smirked and touched my
forehead with his metal-gloved hand and seconds later, I found
myself standing in the middle of the room that looked like a set
from a bad, low-budget Sci-Fi flick.

How the hell had he done that? What
kind of Houdini tricks had he used on me? I don’t think even Chris
Angel would have been that good, let alone some run-of-the-mill
stripper. I asked him and that was when he told me he was an alien.
He had come to get me because I was his chosen mate and would carry
his royal heirs.

I needed another martini. Several,
maybe.

I didn’t realize I had voiced my
thoughts out loud.

Steve, or rather Lord Fai, narrowed
his eyes and gave me a reproachful look. “You are obviously
inebriated.” He spewed it with such distaste, I found it hilarious.
I thought male strippers preferred their clients drunk off their
asses. Males are males and no man I know didn’t care for loose
women.

Apparently, Lord Fai
didn’t.

He strode to the adjoining room and
vanished from my sight. Feeling more curious than a fickle cat, I
followed him. The moment I stepped in, I was welcomed by the sight
of an upscale, stainless steel professional chef’s
kitchen.

Yeah, alien my ass. I swore I spotted
a Kitchen Aid mixer.

If they wanted to make it believable,
why didn’t they make the set thoroughly consistent?

Besides, his lordship Fai spoke
perfect English. Only, his accent was unrecognizable. But I knew
some guys who pulled this kind of stunt just to get into women’s
panties. They drawled in some exotic accent, like French or German,
when in reality, they were from Jersey.

So, I thought, the unexplainable time
lapse, like one second I was standing in the hallway of my
apartment and the next I was here, was nothing but the result of
too much alcohol on an empty stomach. I had heard stories that when
alcohol hit too hard it could cause someone’s brain to go funky as
if they were on an acid trip. Maybe I had fainted. Or maybe this
was Carrie’s joke. She laced my drink and I had passed out and this
hunk-o-steel swiped me to this place to be entertained. Well,
har-de-har-har, happy birthday to me. I wouldn’t mind a little
joke. Lord “Steve” Fai here was one delicious bite of temptation no
woman could resist. Hallelujah.

Fai opened a drawer and extracted a
silvery, tall can. He opened another drawer and took out a glass.
His movement was deft as I ogled him opening the silver can and
pouring the contents into the glass.

“
Here, drink it. I want you
sober while consummating our bond.”

I snickered. “Do I have to pay you
extra for the consummation service or does it come with the whole
package?”

His eyes narrowed, the silvery-blue
irises blazing “I do not understand your question,
woman.”

“
Sure.” I looked around.
“Where do you keep the anal probe by the way?”

His puzzled look was very adorable.
Man, he was good at faking the whole “alien” thing.

“
Drink.” Fai thrust the
glass into my hand. “When you are done, come to the bedchamber and
disrobe. We shall go forth with the consummation.”

“
Wait, aren’t you going to
dance and strip first?”

“
Why on Elerian’s moon
would I dance and strip?”

I blinked. “Are you a stripper, or
actually an escort?” I heard some strippers only strictly
entertained, but some were willing to go beyond the grey line. Now,
I had no idea what kind of adult entertainer I was dealing
with.

“
I am Fairoh du Urugna,
Lord of Stinani, Vanou, Edora-”

“
Fedora, fishing bait,
yeah, yeah. Your titles are longer than Titles-R-Us.”

“
As my mate, I expect you
to show some manner of respect since I will be your lord husband as
soon as our relationship is consummated.”

“
Aww, you’re mad. Does this
mean we’re going to have some, growly angry sex?” I had to admit,
the idea appealed to me.

Fai, apparently, had had enough of my
smart mouth. He grabbed me around the waist and flung me across his
shoulder as if I were a sack of potatoes. My field of vision did a
bungee jump before my face hit his metallic armored back. The glass
in my hand slipped and fell with a loud crash, shattering on the
kitchen floor into thousands of crystal pieces.

“
Hey!” I protested. “Put me
down, asshole. I’m going to be sick if you carry me like
this.”

Fai ignored me. He strode to the other
room like a soldier marching home from a victorious battle,
carrying me as if I was his plunder. I told him to stop. My
protests fell on deaf ears. He only stopped after we entered a room
that was plastered with tiny tiles from floor to ceiling. The tiles
looked like gemstones that had been cut square and polished until
they gleamed. They glowed red, blue, amber, emerald and many more
shades I couldn’t identify.

He put me back on my feet and I
staggered. “Dude,” I warned him. “Don’t do that again. You made me
dizzy.”

Fai only sniffed haughtily. Before I
could do anything other than steady my balance, Fai dragged me to
stand under a large, round silver disk that hung from the ceiling.
A heartbeat later, the disk sprayed water like a downpour. I gasped
wide-eyed and shuddered. The water was fucking cold.

I lurched aside like a cat avoiding
its archenemy, but Fai yanked me back under the shower. No matter
how hard I struggled to escape the embrace of the shower of ice,
Fai managed to get me back under it effortlessly. He was stronger
than I expected.

“
Fine!” I yelled. “But this
isn’t sexy at all. I want my money back.”

“
But it does get you sober,
does it not?”

He had a point. The nice buzz that I’d
gotten from the alcohol had evaporated as soon as the forty-degree
water hit my head. I shivered like a wet dog and was more miserable
than a cat trapped in a tin can. Fai took off his metal gloves and
flung them on the floor. They clanked with loud noise. He stripped
me from my soaked clothes. Actually, he ripped them apart. My new
outfit I’d bought at Macy’s just last night.

“
Hey, these are expensive
you know?”

“
Your garment is hideous.
They’re unfit to be worn by a future queen.”

Okay, this role-playing was starting
to annoy me. I halted his hand when he was about to rip my panties.
“I’ve changed my mind. I’m not in the mood anymore. I want to go
home.”

Fai ripped my panties anyway. His face
was solemn and determined.

“
Stop it!” I swatted his
hand when he tried to grab my bra.

It did get his attention. “Look. We
can do this the easy way or the hard way.”

“
Or we can do it the
semi-easy-hard way. I’m fucking cold.”

Somehow, a smile flashed on his
handsome face. “I’ll warm you in a minute. In the meantime, stay
still.”

I should have smacked the bastard for
making me shower in ice-cold water, but the promise of him warming
me stirred some funny feeling inside me.

Like being horny. Which I thought was
kind of pathetic. I didn’t date often, and none of my lovers looked
like Fai. Carrie must have hired the crème de la crème from the
agency. Fai was too gorgeous, too tall, and too buff to work as a
regular adult entertainer. If he wanted, he could be easily
mistaken as a male model. Or work as one. Was the competition in
that industry so fierce, it forced a guy like him to entertain
women at raunchy parties? I pondered life’s mysteries.