Role Play (29 page)

I
decided to bring Devi just in case Dick was still lurking around. I would have preferred Candice but she was a bartender and always worked weekends. Devi was fun to hang out with, and was outgoing and could carry on a conversation with anyone who caught her eye, using her whispery voice to dramatic effect. According to Candice, Devi’s parents were musicians who lived in a big loft in Soho. They had been supporting their daughter’s “independence” for years.

Devi’s privileged background gave her confidence like
I had never seen before. She even showed me the secret way from Greenpoint to the Lower East Side, taking the G train to the J line. The two blocks where we had to get out and walk on the streets between the stations were scary. We were in the barrio down under the elevated tracks. Some of the stores were shuttered closed, and there was trash ankle-deep in the gutters.

But Devi marched along like
she belonged here. A true child of the city.

If
I hoped to blend into the crowd at Happy Endings, I was mistaken in taking Devi. My roommate was wearing flowing black sleeves with giant ruffles at the wrist. Her waist was cinched by a wide elastic belt over her jeans, and she wore black stiletto heels. All that black made her pale soft skin and hair disappear, so she had compensated by putting on bright red lipstick and dramatic smoky eyes.

I
looked around at the men in suits and women in business wear. Clearly a lot of people came straight to happy hour from work. Devi hadn’t listened when I warned her what I was wearing based on what I saw last time—my midnight blue suit with my hair down. Victor liked to stroke my hair…

Devi led the way to the bar where
she ordered us both a pink cocktail. I wasn’t sure what was in it, but it was delicious. Then Devi led the charge downstairs where the first act for the evening was taking the stage. Old-fashioned burlesque music greeted us, and on the stage a woman was slowly stripping from behind giant feathered fans.

The place was packed, like last month when Lola and Martin’s troop had performed.
I didn’t see Victor. Or Karla, for that matter.

Devi drank and flirted with everyone around
us, as several bump and grind acts took the stage. They all included some kind of twist on the usual strip-tease, with one girl twerking to Beethoven. I laughed and clapped along with everyone else, and really enjoyed myself, despite a sinking feeling with every minute that Victor wasn’t going to show.

I
wasn’t sure if I was relieved or not. I didn’t exactly want to see Victor out cruising for women while he had put me on hold.

After the acts were done, the crowd slowly dispersed around
us. Devi had two guys glued to her side competing for her attention, so I was happy to wait as the place emptied out.

Then
I saw Josh, the big bear of a guy who had been so nice to me at the Sanctuary, and whose girlfriend Anna had told me Victor only did casual sex.

“Hi, Sierra
!” Josh exclaimed with his usual enthusiasm.

“Hi, Josh.”
I introduced him to Devi, who dismissed him with one look and went right back to her guys. “Where’s Anna?” I asked.

“She couldn’t get off work in time. I’m meeting her for dinner later.” He glanced around. “Is
Victor here?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Are you still seeing him?”

I
had to shake my head at that. “No, not really.”

“Yeah, well… he’s a stupid man!”

I laughed at his compliment, given so lightly that I couldn’t take it seriously. “He did see me at my worst. So did you. That awful fight with my sister…”

“It’s going down in history.
The twin fight at Festival. I keep telling people you never touched each other. But rumors fly, you know.” Josh laughed and made scratching motions with his fingers like he was a cat.

Another guy came up to
our cocktail table. Josh turned and introduced him, “Sierra, this is Liam.”

Liam was dark-haired with an easy smile
, very good-looking. Devi’s attention perked up on the other side of the table, distracted from the two men she had already captivated.

“
This must be your first time,” Liam said to us, by way of greeting. “I’ve never seen either of you here.”

“I came last month,”
I told him.
“I’m glad we were interesting enough to bring you back again.”

Devi leaned on the table, her hand at her chin. “Are you the producer
of this event?”

“No.
Just a participant.”

Somehow Devi managed to grab Liam’s attention as the other two guys watched sullenly.
I smiled and turned back to Josh.

“Speaking of your sister, I saw her last week,” Josh told
me. “They were doing a performance at P.S. 121. Martin suspended her from one ankle.”

“Sounds fun
.” I hoped it was fun for Lola.

“
Victor was there, come to think of it. He likes that place. It’s tamer here because of the liquor license. There the performers can really let loose.”

I
thought about how Lola had walked around in her bra here, while she was topless at the Festival and the private party. Apparently topless was her preferred style.

And
Victor’s.

So
I had the right idea, wrong event. If I had gone to P.S. 121 last weekend, I would have run into Victor there. He was out cruising for women, while I was waiting for him at home.

I
had a hard time paying attention to what the others were talking about after that.

When
we said good-bye, Liam openly gave each of us his card, saying, “If you want an introduction to BDSM, then get someone reputable. You can ask Josh, ask anyone, I play safe and follow limits. I won’t do anything to you that I haven’t done on myself.”

Devi tittered and pushed on his arm. “Whips and chains! I’m not doing that.”

“It’s not just whips and chains,” Liam said. “But since you mention it, whips and chains can take you places you’ve never gone before…”

I
slipped Liam’s card into my purse while Devi kept flirting with him, insisting that bubble baths were her fetish. Liam was laughing at her.

But
Josh was looking at me, and at my questioning lift of my brows, he agreed, “It’s an incredible rush. Like jumping out of an airplane.”

I
remembered how Victor had frightened me, and for a few moments, I thought it was for real. That he was going to hurt me.

It was perverse, but
I had never felt more alive.

I
knew that there were dark places inside of Victor, and things got ugly when that darkness came out. Maybe he was trying to protect me from himself by pushing me away.

Maybe
I should listen to him.

Then again, maybe
I shouldn’t give up on him. He made me feel better than I ever felt before. It sounded like he had led a lonely life with people always giving up on him.

We
said good-bye to Josh and Liam, then Devi and I headed down Delancy Street to the subway station. Usually I didn’t like taking the subway this late, and I wasn’t looking forward to that frightening two-block walk through the barrio. What if Dick was ready to ambush us? Or anybody?

But Devi tripped along
Delancy Street heading to the subway station like she had no second thoughts about it.

Naturally
when I stopped thinking about it, I finally saw Victor. He was coming out of the subway station at the corner of Essex.

We
saw each other at the same moment. I wasn’t sure who was more startled. He was wearing old cargo pants, a workshirt and heavy boots. He looked gorgeous in a different way; a hard-working man who wouldn’t quit even when the going got tough. For a moment, before he saw me, he looked exhausted.

I
felt sorry for him for a split second, and then I remembered what Josh said about seeing Victor at P.S. 121 last weekend. He didn’t deserve my sympathy.

He was either going to step up or
I was stepping out.

Chapter 27

Victor

“What are you doing here?”
I demanded.

“We were at
Pleasure Salon,” Sierra said coolly. She looked at my clothes. “Where are you coming from?”

I hesitated.
This was why I didn’t want to see her until my promotion was settled. I couldn’t lie to her again. “Work.”

Her brow wrinkled, as she looked me over again. “It’s awfully late to be getting home.
On a Friday night.”

Right then, my
brain caught up with what she had said. “You were at Pleasure Salon?” I asked.

The washed out blond with Sierra laughed. “It was a lot of fun. You should have been there.”

“You’ve met my roommate, Devi,” Sierra said, watching me carefully.

I
wasn’t happy about the news that they had been at Happy Endings. I never expected Sierra would be going out and about in the scene without me.

I
drew Sierra aside to get out of the stream of people on the sidewalk. The swooping lights of the Williamsburg Bridge were anchored a block away. The lights of the traffic coming and going filled the sharp slope of the bridge and spilled into the wide street in front of us.

Devi
stepped away from us, idly looking into the window of a shoe store. It was hardly private, but it would have to do.

“Are you looking for Lola?”
I asked.

“No.” Sierra stayed at arm’s distance, not giving
me any signals to come closer. “I heard you saw Lola last weekend at P.S. 121.”

“Did she tell you that?”
I asked, surprised that Lola had noticed me in the crowd.

“Josh told me. He was
there tonight.”

Quickly,
I assured her, “I was only there to make sure Lola was okay. I saw a post about Transcendence performing and I knew Dick might see it.”

“Lola has her own friends to watch out for her,” Sierra said with a frown. “Is that what’s coming between us? Lola?”

“What? No!”

“
How well do you know my sister?” she demanded.

I
felt like this was spiraling out of control. Devi was watching us with open interest as Sierra didn’t bother to lower her voice.

“
I don’t know her at all!” I protested.

“Then what is it?” Sierra demanded. “It’s been three weeks.
You go watch over my sister, but you can’t hang out with me? What’s going on, Victor?”

I
hadn’t counted on making her this angry. Sierra was so mad that if I blurted out the truth now, she would never forgive me.

And the thought of Sierra running around loose in the scene made
me see red. I couldn’t let any other man touch her! Or dominate her…

I
almost reached out and dragged her into my arms right there. Maybe that would have been the smart thing to do.

Instead
I said, “If you want to go out, I’ll take you to the Masquerade next weekend.”

One more week, that was all
I needed. My promotion was bound to come through this week. I could spend the whole weekend with her, wooing her back, and then break the news to her that a house in Connecticut was only a dream right now. But I would work hard to make it a reality.

My
invitation caught Sierra off guard. “A masquerade? Like a ball?”

“It’s a big
fetish event, high protocol. You’ll have to play the part of my slave. Call me master. Do everything I say.” I ran a finger down her arm, taking up her hand. So glad to finally be able to touch her. It made everything worthwhile. “Can you do that?”

Sierra thought about it, her chest rising
and falling rapidly. I rubbed her fingers lightly, feeling them go warm in her sudden flush.

“I don’t know,” she said doubtfully.

“You went to Pleasure Salon to make something happen,” I told her. “It worked. Do you want to go with me or not?”

Suddenly, she met my eyes.
“Yes,” she said. “I do.”

A satisfaction so deep swelled inside of me. I didn’t care what it
took, I was going to keep her for myself. I wasn’t going to let her be used and discarded by the dogs that ran around the scene. If she was determined to experience submission, then I was going to take care of her and make sure she was treated right.

...

Emboldened by the thought that I was doing this to come clean with her, I sent Sierra a new text every day. First I told her to wear a garter and stockings. Then I asked if she had shoes with an ankle strap. No bra. A long, full skirt. Dangling earrings.