Role Play (27 page)

“Lola! What if he comes after you?” Sierra listened for a moment. “Lola? Are you there?”
She checked the phone. “She hung up on me.”

“Honey, that is one dysfunctional relationship you have with your sister,” Candice told her.

“I know,” Sierra agreed, stealing a glance over at me. “It’s better that we’re not living together anymore.”

I
didn’t know what to say. There was nothing to say that wouldn’t make me the hugest hypocrite alive. It was already choking me, wrapping its monstrous tentacles around my throat, the knowledge that I was betraying her even worse than Dick. I was betraying myself by lying to her when I cared so much for her.

I
couldn’t take advantage of her anymore. I had to fix this.

But
I couldn’t confess now. Not when she was reeling in pain from this blow, and frightened of what it meant. Not when she was looking at me with such mute appeal to help her.

I
couldn’t hurt her now.

I
would make sure she was safe. I would help her through this. I would be a good friend, and show her that I cared. And I wouldn’t touch her again until I fixed this mess and I could kiss her with an honest heart.

Chapter 24

Sierra

I suddenly realized that everyone was staring at me like I was a freak show—the Idiot Child on full display. Bound to destroy everything I touched through sheer stupidity.

The fact that
Victor looked so sorry for me, so distantly untouchable and full of pity, made it worse. I knew better than to talk to my sister in front of him. Didn’t our fight at the Festival teach me anything?

No wonder
Victor was just standing there. The litany of shit that was my life was spread out for him to see. Who wanted to take on that kind of mess? Especially a guy like him who could have anyone.

To give him credit,
Victor was honest about not being the savior type. He never liked me better than when I was taking care of myself. The way he had reacted to me at the Sanctuary had told me that.

So
I raised my chin, trying to shake it off. “I guess that’s all there is to it.”

“
We should report him for hurting you last night,” Victor told me. “He said he was a cop. I heard it.”

That raised visions of
the police arriving at the loft with their flashing lights as I gave them a statement. I could only imagine what Keith would say about that. He was a practical man and he wouldn’t like the new girl bringing the cops down on us the second week I was living here.

I
couldn’t be the kind of roommate who caused trouble. I didn’t want to make an awful situation worse than it already was. Dick was a by-product of the Lola implosion. I needed to put that safely in the past where it could burn to the ground without me. I didn’t want to drag it into my present, which was finally getting better.

“No,
I don’t want to report it,” I said. “Dick practically crawled off last night after you took him down. He’s out of our lives.”

Victor
appealed to Candice. “Don’t you think she should take it more seriously? Dick was shaking her last night—look at those bruises on her arms!”

Candice took a long look at
me. “Do you have pepper spray, honey?”

“No.”

“I’ll get you one of mine,” my roommate said, heading toward the second door from the front.

As Candice left
, Victor told me, “I think you should reconsider this.”

“I’ll think about it,”
I said quietly, glancing after Candice. “But not now.”

He grudgingly accepted that.
“How’s your ankle? Shouldn’t you sit down?”

“
Yes, I should. Why don’t I show you my room now that you’re here?” I drifted over to my door, the second to the last in the row.

Victor
joined me, but he still seemed a bit reluctant. I blamed the chaos I called my former life, and was ready to get past the bad news and concentrate on the fact that he had run over here to tell me I was in danger. Surely that proved he cared about me! My body was thrumming, remembering how it felt as he carried me to his place, literally sweeping me off my feet last night.

I
opened the door to my room, showing off its compact neatness. I had placed the single bed under the loft and lined it with cushions to make a wide couch against the window. The red chair was in the corner in front of the sheets that marked off a narrow closet. A little table along the wall served as my desk.

I
retreated inside to sit on my make-shift couch. I carefully massaged my ankle through the bandage. “That feels better. My day off is tomorrow, so I can rest it all day.”

I
had wondered what it would be like to have Victor here in my room. He dominated the space, making it seem even smaller.

He was looking around in disbelief, even worse than
I had feared. “Are you okay living here, Sierra?”

“Sure, my roommates are nice. I’d show you the view
from the roof but I don’t think my ankle could handle another climb.”

Instead of coming to sit beside
me, Victor came to kneel in front of me, gently picking up my foot. His hands sent a shiver up my body. He looked at me so tenderly, and his hands were careful.

“How does it feel?” he asked.

“I was going to put ice on it again before bed.”

“I’ll get it,” he offered, standing up again.

“I got a new ice pack on the way home. It should be cold by now. It’s in the freezer in the door.”

I
unwrapped the ace bandage from my ankle, realizing I should have done it as soon as I got home. It was throbbing from being bound all day.

Victor
brought back the pack and pulled up the little stool for me to rest my foot on. He wrapped the ice pack onto my ankle with a towel. It reminded me of last night when he cleaned me up. The scabs on my knees were still fresh. I was in pain in half a dozen different ways, but the feel of his hands on me, so tender and knowing exactly how to touch me, burned through my body. This was true masochism, loving the pain because of the pleasure that came with it.

He looked up at
me like he had a million things he wanted to say, but he couldn’t.

I
reached out and took his hand, drawing him close to sit next to me. I leaned in, fully expecting he would kiss me. I felt the pull between us. I wasn’t imagining it. We were breathing together, poised to close the separation between us.

I
savored it, knowing it would make the kiss that much sweeter.

Victor
stopped. “I have something I need to tell you.”

The tone of his voice made
me sit back slightly. “What is it?”

“I can’t tell you now, not while you’re dealing with all of this.”

“Why not?” I cocked my head. “Dick’s an asshole, forget about him. It’s my own fault for being gullible. And Lola’s, for being so stupid. How could she believe him for that long? You get what you deserve, right?”

Victor
stood up suddenly. “I’ve got to go.”

“
Victor?” I couldn’t understand what was happening. “Wait! I thought you wanted to tell me something.”

“I’ll call you later,” he said, heading out of the room.

Candice ran into him at the door, making me wonder how long my roommate had been lurking outside listening to us. “I’ve got the pepper spray, honey!”

“Thanks, Candice.”
I was looking at Victor. Suddenly my room felt chilly, and I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself.

“Hold it in your hand when you’re walking,”
Victor ordered. “It’s no good when it’s in your purse.”

I
nodded. How could he sound so concerned when he was rushing to get away?

“Say it,” he demanded in a low voice. “Say you’ll carry it.”

“I’ll carry it,” I repeated, feeling that tug between us in his order and my obedience.

Candice was looking between
us with her eyes wide, like she could feel it, too.

I
started to stand up, but Victor said, “Don’t get up. That ice needs to stay on for twenty minutes.” He took the pepper spray from Candice and handed it to me. His fingers were hot. “Make sure and lock up after me,” he told Candice.

With that,
Victor was gone. Candice stared wide-eyed at me like she also couldn’t believe it, before following him.

I
strained to hear the sounds of Candice letting him out and locking up behind him. Then my roommate came back into my room. “What was
that
about?” Candice asked.

I
let the air out of me. “I wish I knew! I thought he was going to kiss me, and then he jumped up and left.”

“I can tell he’s worried about you
,” Candice said. “He couldn’t have been sweeter. Or more protective.”

I
shook my head. “I think my life is too messed up for him. He’s successful and going places. I’m sure he doesn’t want feuding sisters and psycho ex-boyfriends around.”

“I wonder what he
wants to tell you?” Candice asked.

I
gave her a narrow look. “I knew you were listening. What do you think it is? Nothing good, or we’d be making out right now. Maybe that’s all I am to him—hot sex. But he respects me enough to not push it when I said I don’t do that.”

“
Maybe he has a girlfriend already.”

“
A girl he dated told me he doesn’t do girlfriends. Just casual sex.”

“
I don’t know… rich men always have arm candy. What did you find out when you Googled him?”

I
shrugged. “Nothing, really. No Facebook. No LinkedIn profile.”

“
That’s strange. There should be something on him. You say he’s an executive with the airlines? Are you sure you’ve got his name right?”

“Yeah, I saw
it on his plane ticket and employee ID when we flew down to Baltimore. We checked in through special services and stayed in the employee lounge.” I felt bad about being so suspicious, but Victor had brought it on himself by the way he was acting. Why did he run off like that? From the way he stroked my leg, his fingers lingering on my ankle, I knew he wanted to keep touching me.

“Maybe he’s a private
man,” Candice said doubtfully.

“He
doesn’t like to talk about his work, that’s for sure. And he doesn’t like to talk about his family. He tenses up whenever I ask him questions. I take it his childhood wasn’t good.”

“There’s a
big mystery here,” Candice agreed. “Maybe he sucks at relationships because of his bad past. Some people can’t handle intimacy.”

“
We sort of fell into this because he was helping me spy on Lola. And you heard for yourself how that ended.” I took a deep breath. “I wanted to talk to him about it last night, but then his date came up and I ran out. Then after Dick… we were both so high on what had happened that I don’t think either of us were thinking straight. We just sort of clung to each other.”

“And now he wants to talk to you.”

I sighed. “This isn’t good.”

Candice didn’t agree out loud, but she looked it.
I fell back against the cushions, letting the fear wash over me.

A lot of things had gone wrong in
my life. There was no reason to think this would be any different.

Chapter 25

Victor

My mind was made up—I would tell Sierra the next time I saw her. I didn’t set out to deceive her. Sierra had scorned me first for my New Jersey accent. She only started talking to me at the Chamber because she thought I was an airline executive. She had sex with me that first time because of my
amazing
view. She wasn’t having a relationship with me, she was making love to Mr. Master of the Universe himself.

But that didn’t matter.
She would hate me when she found out the truth.

I
had an early shift the next morning, but I didn’t sleep. The long subway/bus ride took me past the 7 subway station. If I caught that train after work, I could catch the bus at Hunter’s Point down to Greenpoint see Sierra.

I
would break the news to her then. It was her day off and she planned to stay off her feet because of her ankle. I could drop by and destroy the best thing I had ever found.

As
I dragged my ass into the dispatch room, Supervisor Kevins shouted out, “Hey, ten-year man!”

I
realized that Kevins was talking to me. “Ten years?” Then I remembered. I had applied for the airline job right after high school, and had gone through the interviews in July. I started work a few weeks after that. I had been a baggage handler for ten years.