ROCKED BY THE WAVES (11 page)

I was stuck. «You know I can’t».

He kissed me on the forehead.

«Of course you can. You have a new identity, remember?»

I was unable to reply. Yes, I could marry him. And I wanted to.

«We’ll go to hell».

He kissed me.

«I couldn’t care less. So, will you marry me?»

«Yes!»

We smiled at each other, but he suddenly darkened.

«What did Mr Turner tell you?»

I laughed.

«He has few estates to show us».

«To show you. No, thanks. We already have two options. That’s enough».

He was upset.

«I know we already have options. Tomorrow we’ll look for my father’s friend».

THE FISHMEN’S SECRETS

On the morning after we went to look for Mr John Price. He was supposed to be at the harbor, next to Citadel Hill.

The harbor was filled with colours and smells. People were screaming, both to offer their fish to buyers and to make themselves heard. The fishermen were hundreds. The place smelt like sea and tales. I liked that atmosphere.

We found Mr John’s stockhouse.

Many people were there. They all worked on something. We walked through the room and knocked on the door at the end of it. It was Mr Price’s office. We opened the door and there it was, a big desk lighthed by a huge window. It was elegantly furnished and it looked like a comfortable office. A white-haired man was looking at us.

He had blue eyes.

«Mrs Claire? Is that you?»

My father must have written a letter to his friend to introduce me.

He smiled.

«I’ve been waiting for you. How was your journey? How do you like Halifax?»

He reminded me of my father and I suddenly felt homesick.

«
It was very fine, thank you. Let me introduce Samuel to you...»

He stopped me.

«I know everything about you, you must be Mr Campbell».

Sam shook his head.

«Your father and I have known each other for thirty years. I have met your mother as well. You look like her, she was beautiful. So... do you have anything in mind?»

We told him about Lunenburg and Prince Edward.

«So you’ve met sister Beatrice... a great woman. I help her whenever I can. She does a marvellous job and she’s brave. The estates suit you very well, but I would stick with the second option. It’s a... hidden place. English people don’t go there often. You father would like to come visit you and he would also like to hear from you soon».

I had written a letter for him, which I had not sent yet for security reasons. I gave it to Mr Price. He would sent it, it was safer.

We took a tour about the stockhouse. We also saw the ships and Mr Price told us how he had met my father. He also told us he had loved my mother very much. He had met me and Renny when we were kids.

«Your father will come visit you, but it looks like... someone’s looking for you and we must be careful».

I noticed Sam had darkened.

At the end of the day, we said goodbye. I kissed Mr Price on the cheek, then we left.

We stopped in a pub, where a huge Scottish waiter brought us two beers. We had lobsters from lake Yarmouth. The meal was excellent and we started making plans to go see Lunenburg. Then, we decided, we would go see Prince Edward.

We would be riding there, so the journey would be pretty tiring. I was happy, though, because I would get the chance to explore Nova Scotia. I wanted to look for a small church as well.

On the day after, we made plans for the departure. I packed our stuff, while Sam studied the map to see where we’d be able to make a stop.

At dinner, he was looking really satisfied. We had it all worked out.

Each stop would be some one hundred kilometres far from the other. We didn’t want our horses to get tired, and furthermore I was pregnant. We had four horses: two of them would carry Sam and me, the others would carry our luggage.

It was a cold October morning and it was foggy. We left.

We rode through the forest that surrounded the city, then we got to the main road. It was amazing. It got to Yarmouth and it was absolutely beautiful. The sight was breath-taking and I enjoyed the small beaches we found here and there. It would take us some eight or ten hours to make a hundred kilometres, but it suddenly sounded like a nice perspective. I liked the idea that we would be able to take advantage of that beautiful coast.

When we got to Lunenburg, it was dark. We were not able to see where we were exactly, so we stopped in a guesthouse. We had dinner and went to bed. They spoke English, as Jogn Price had said. The place must have been packed with English people, then.

On the morning after, I was feeling sick. Furthermore, my back was aching. I didn’t tell Sam, because he would be upset and worried about that.

We left the guesthouse and had a look at the site. It was great.

Lunenberg was a small town. It had been funded in the previous century and it had been named after George II, king of Great Britain and Ireland. He was also the duke of Brunswick-Lüneburg.  The town looked like a painting. The colours, the architecture and the ocean made it all look like a fairytale scenario.

When we got to the estate, which was on top of a hill, an old lady came to us. She spoke German.

«Good morning. Sister Beatrice sent me a note. I was waiting for you».

We took a seat and had scones. She told us about her life: her husband had recently died.

She had no heirs, so we neeeded to tell the estate. She wanted to go back to Renania, where she was born.

She was a good friend to Sister Beatrice and she always gave her money.

We chattered for a while and then we visited the house. It was big and had many rooms. Then we saw the lands nearby. Sheeps, cows and a multitude of animals populated the land. There was even a dairy and... was that a bakery I saw? There were crops all over the place: wheat, oats, barley. Small stone buildings on one or two floors were inhabited by tenants.

The estate was definitely a big one and we both needed to think about that.

When we were back on the road, Sam made a small deviation and took me to a lovely wooden church.

«There we are!»

He looked at me and I smiled. I was confused, so he helped me get off my horse.

«So, will you marry me?»

I laughed.

«I was not expecting this».

«I couldn’t wait. I needed you to say yes».

I was feeling awkward. I was in Nova Scotia with someone who wanted to marry me. My instinct told me to run away. But... where could I run to?

I took a deep breath and got into the church.

The ceremony was quick. We were Mr and Mrs Campbell now. On the afternoon, when we got back to the guesthouse, I was overexcited. We had dinner in our room and had lobsters, oysters and white wine. We made love in a new way, feeling that now we truly belonged to each other.

On the morning after, we were back on the road. We rode for quite a while and saw beautiful woods, as well as fishermen’s houses. We headed to Lockeport. We would need to travel quite a lot, so we stopped a few times to rest and eat.

We rode next to each other holding hands.

«How does it feel like, getting married twice?»

He was smiling.

It was then that I realized I was the independent woman I had wanted to become. I had two husbands, even if none of them was happy about that.

«It feels... like it felt yesterday and the day before. I love you, that’s it».

He looked at me awkwardly.

«I love you more than yesterday and the day before. You’re my wife now. That makes a difference».

He took my hand.

Our lives belonged to one another. It would always be like that.

«Well, you were not exactly a lover, right? You were already kind of my husband».

He didn’t agree.

«How can you say this? Marriage is very important. People loving each other want to get married. It’s a lifelong promise. This was our dream!»

What? He was supposed to be a rebel! He was supposed to have been a bad boy.

«Do you really love me that much?»

He stopped.

«I can’t live without you. I love you and always will. Trust me... things is, now you can’t leave me», and he laughed.

I laughed too.

We got to Liverpool, then to Annexe Cotièr of Kejimkujik. We bumped into many beautiful buildings and white beaches. At the and of the day, without even noticing that, we got to Lockepport. We got into a guesthouse.

On the morning after, I woke up feeling sick. I didn’t say anything and had a big breakfast. We headed to Yarmouth.

We needed to ride for a hundred and twenty kilometres, but it someone felt pleasant. The beaches were packed with birds, mirrors of water and plants.

We stopped into a cave.

«Do you remember Languedoc?»

I did.

«What about sleeping here for tonight? It’s our honeymoon. It’s going to be romantic».

I could tell he had planned that in advance.

He smiled.

«I want to be alone with you», he said.

I smiled.

«There are no men here, right? That’s what you mean», I replied.

He turned pink.

«Well... you’re my wife now».

I wanted to tell him I was Alexander’s wife, when he had slept with me, but I didn’t. Being married looked like a big deal to him.

It was a romantic night, even if the air was chilly. We lit a fire and hugged on the ground. It was way too cold to make love. He hugged me and kissed me throughout the whole night. He kissed my eyes, my forehead, my cheeks, my nose and my lips. I kissed him back. It was sweet.

On the morning after we headed to Yarmouth. We stopped and ate lobsters on the beach.

We needed to get to Digby, but we would stop somewhere in the middle. The night had been lovely, but we needed to get some sleep in a proper bed and change our clothes. We got into a guesthouse.

We stopped in a small village on the coast. It was really nice, with its houses and the people smiling at us.

We got to our room and I took a bath. As I did so, Sam smiled looking at my body.

I shut my eyes and relaxed. The light at sunset was especially magic. When I got out of the bathroom, I had a strong stomachache. I touched my belly

On that morning I hadn’t felt sick. I looked at my body. My belly was beginning to show. Sam was looking at me in a loving way.

He smiled and handed me a towel.

«I’ll help you».

He was sweeter than usual. He was romantic and peaceful. He was barenaked and beautiful. I liked his body much and I got lost into his eyes.

I hugged him and threw the towel on the floor. I kissed him and felt his body against mine. We were young and we loved each other. We made love thoughtlessly.

On the morning after I was happy and full of energies.

When we went downstairs, people stared at us. We must have made much noise during the night. I turned pink.

We sat at a table and had breakfast. The waitress was not especially kind, maybe because she had heard us during the night.

I was embarrassed and started laughing. Sam tried to remain cool. When we left, we felt glad. My education and my rationality disappeared, when I was with Sam. Love was much stronger than anything else.

We got to Digby, where fishermen were famous for their scallops.

During the following four days, we rode through the Bay of Fundy. We saw the birds and the woods. We discovered many small and romantic villages. We fell for the sauvage woods. Then we got to Prince Edward.

It had been a tiring journey, but we were happy. I loved adventures. We had seen many interesting places, met amazing people and savoured Nova Scotia’s atmosphere. It was so different from London. We felt alive and free.

EILEAN A’PHRIONNSA

It was the end of October when we got to Charlottetown, a small town built in the colonial style. It was elegant and I loved its victorian buildings. It was filled with boulevards and gardens. We needed to get to a small village in the Queens Country. It was where Prince Edward was.

It was cold. We liked the beaches and the nature. We enjoyed the hills and the small wooden houses. I even liked the horses that run through the lands.

It was a natural masterpiece that had remained completely untouched. Life was slow and peaceful. I loved that.

The house was white and surrounded by hills. There was a small river. Trees, crops and animals were perfect.

Next to the main building there were small white or stone houses. Children were playing in front of them. You could see the sea. Sam hugged me and kissed my hair.

«That’s a perfect place to have children».

I looked at him.

«Children? How many?»

«Well, winters are long and cold...», and he kissed me.

We got to the estate and an old lady greeted us. She was thin and kind, her hair was white. She had a wrinkled face. She looked at us. Children kept playing, but when they saw us, they started asking: «Who are these people? What do they want?»

«Fàilte! Welcome, I’m Shona Anderson. You must be the Campbells» she said smiling. «I’m happy to meet you. Sister Beatrice told me you would come visit the estate».

Sam said: «Madame Anderson, my name is Samuel».

She turned to me. «So you must be Claire». I shook my head.

We got into the house.

It was big and full of light. We were served tea and sandwiches. She told us she had children, but they were in Scotland. She wanted to go back too.

«I help those children, you know? I pay for their studies. They are the tenants’ children and they can’t go to school. So I teach them a few things. Do you have any children?»

«Claire is pregnant, but we want many children. So that’s the perfecr house, to us».

«Pregnant ladies are sweet and loving. They are beautiful and you, Claire, you’re lovely».

I turned pink.

«I have a lovely husband, you know».

Shona smiled at me and Sam did the same. We spoke about our desire to come live there as soon as possible. She told us to stay there for a couple of days, so that we could get accustomed to the people living there. There were five families of tenants, fourteen people including the children. Ten dogs, four horses, fifty cows, a few sheeps, thirty goats and so on.

It was a small community that provided everything they needed. Everyone had his job and I was sure it would be good to us, to be part of that village.

After dinner, we went to the guests’ room and I hugged Sam.

«Shona’s right», he said.

«About what?»

He caressed my back.

«You’re lovely, especially now that you’re pregnant».

«Do I think I’m fattening?»

«You’re not», he laughed.

«I’m not sure you’re being sincere».

«I just hope your belly grows fast».

«Remember that word Shona used? Ùraisg?»

«It’s a Scottish legend. Scottish storytellers know many legends and tales. The brownies are goblins living nearby. At night they work so that on the morning the landlord finds everything clean and tidy. They get presents in return, such as cream and sweets. But they are stubborn and once offended, they seek for revenge. They are not after money. They love kindness and you never get to meet them».

«Do you believe that?», I said after a pause.

He kissed my hair. «No, but I like it».

I fell asleep.

Some ten days later we were back in Halifax.

November was cold, even icecold. It started snowing and the sun was merely a memory. We met John Price and I gave him a letter for my father. We went to see Sister Beatrice and we went back to Prince Edward.

Shone left immediately after our arrival, because she wanted to reach Scotland as soon as possible. We found ourselves alone, dealing with a new routine. We were not accustomed to a farm’s routine, but we followed our instinct.

We soon found out that you needed to wake up early if you wanted to be of any use. I learnt how to bake. Bread, cakes... it was all for the children. Sam met the tenants and helped them repair things. He also needed to call the vet from time to time, because some sheep was about to give birth.

Most of the people were Scottish. They were stubborn, tenacious and loyal. I was the Lady to them and Sam was the Laird.

During the day I never got the chance to spend some time with Sam. At the end of the day we were both tired. My breasts started to hurt and I was feeling fat. My body was undergoing a series of changes. Sam was lovely, though.

«I’ll take care of everything. You just need to rest».

He used to massage my feet.

«That feels good. Sam, when I was in London I helped the children. But at the end of the day I got home and they went back in the streets. Here we can make a difference. These families need us. They are not like the families in Whitechapel, but still...»

«You changed my life and it wasn’t an easy challenge. I want to deserve your love. I know you will make a difference. But now you need to get some sleep».

I kept getting fat, but I enjoyed the children’s company. It was great fun, after all. Just before Christmas, I got a letter. It was from someone who claimed to be in love with me.

It was a small note, but it was full of passion. I had no idea who the man could be, so I started thinking about that. I hadn’t met many men. Furthermore, it was way too cold to have a social life. I was unsure whether to tell Sam or not.

It was snowing and we were sitting on the sofa, in front of the fire. We were talking and I was relaxed.

«Sam, how many people work there?»

«McVey, McFadden, McKay, Murphy father and son, McNutt father and son, and their wives... and the children, of course».

So two families had teenage sons, I guessed.

«Why are you asking?»

«
It was an out of curiosity question. That’s a lot of daily work, right? I mean we need a lot of people to run this place..
.
»

I took a deep breath.

«
I have something to tell yo
u»
.

He darkened and looked at me.

«I got an anonymous letter».

«What...?»

«You’re not going to like this...», I whispered.

He looked at me.

«It was a love letter».

He was open-mouthed and angry.

«I want to read that».

I turned pink. It was way too passionate to be read out aloud. Let alone by Sam.

«It’s in our bedroom».

He stood up and hurried there. He got downstairs again and kept walking furiously as he read the letter. He was turning more and more red. He looked me in the eyes with his icecold blue eyes.

«No one is going to enter this house anymore! Who brought this to you?», he said throwing the letter into the flames. «Do you know him? I’m sure you do».

«Are you jealous? That’s outrageous! If I had known who the man was I wouldn’t have talked to you about it. I kept the letter in the bedroom!»

«Do you have a lover?»

He needed to calm down.

«Just stop it! I love you and don’t care about any other man. You’re my husband, my friend, my lover and the father of our child. Just come here and stop it».

He sat back on the sofa.

«I don’t like this thing with men...»

«I love you», and I kissed him.

«I love you too but that letter...»

I kissed him twice. «Maybe it was a joke».

«I must protect you, Claire. You’re sweet and naïve. You know men notice you».

«You mean our Christmas lunch with the tenants is over? I don’t think this is a good idea... let’s go through the options, will we?»

He thought about that. He looked at me and then he relaxed.

«Ok, let’s find out who sent you the letter».

The week flew by and my belly grew bigger. I told Rhona, McVey’s wife, that I was feeling awkward. She was the only friend I had.

«That awkward feeling is completely normal. It’s your first son! I know you feel you may not be a good mother. Did you talk about that with your husband? He loves you and will comfort you».

Rhona was a small woman, she had red hair and three children. She was kind.

«I talked to him and he says it’ll be good. But I don’t want to be annoying...».

«I think he likes comforting you», she smiled.

Sam and I talked about every sort of thing. I made up tales for the children and told them to Sam. I made cakes that we ate together. I missed him very much when he was not with me. He told me what happened to him throughout the day.

One day I was making lunch. Sam had gone to the village with McFadden, because he needed the vet to come here and he also wanted to buy a pony for our child. I was helping Rhona in the kitchen. She had a lovely five-year-old daughter and two boys. They were seven and nine. It was Christmas Eve and the children were putting their stockings over the chimney. They had written a letter each for Santa.

Sam and I had made a wonderful tree. It was richly decorated. Rhona and I were making roasted turkey, chicken broth and vegetables. The turkey was filled with onions and sage. We were even thinking of making sausages and roasted potatoes. We had alreday made the pudding with fruit and Brandy sauce. The children would have biscuits.

It was cold and I hoped Sam would get home soon. I didn’t like it, when he was far from me.

I went to the window, to see if he was somewhere to be seen. I noticed a white envelope. I took it and had the feeling that a new storm was approaching. I opened it.

My beloved, I can’t stop thinking about you and I always think of your kisses...

I went through the letter, but couldn’t figure out who had sent it.

...and I would take your clothes off, hug you tight and kiss your mouth while caressing your breasts...

That was way too much.

You’re my slave and you keep doing what I’m asking you for.

I was shocked.

Claire, I will have you and you will be back to me, because you will get tired of him. There’s no rush. I can wait. With love, forever yours.

Come back? Had Alex found me? I was petrified. Whoever had written that letter knew me. I had eloped from him... Was it Alexander? It was his way of talking: stubborn, nasty, angry, aggressive and passionate. He was furious, I could tell that. I couldn’t let Sam read this... I threw it into the flames.

When Sam got home, I was feeling a bit better. He was holding many presents and he was smiling. He was charming... I hugged him and kissed him. Again and again.

«Are you okay, Claire?»

I decided not to tell him.

«Sure. I wanted to hug you... »

He took my hand and pretended to believe me.

«I need to change my clothes, come with me». He was wearing a white shirt and black trousers. His boots were dirty and his hair was a bit wet. He was beautiful. We went to the bedroom.

«What’s wrong, Claire? I know something’s wrong».

I told him everything.

«I don’t know, Claire... I think something’s happening».

What? He was not worried about Alex?

«What are you talking about, Sam?»

He hugged me.

«Don’t worry, my dear. You are safe. I’ll protect you».

He had not replied, though. I knew he had something in mind. I undressed him and we sat on the bed. He kissed my neck and caressed my back. We kissed and he undressed me. When entering my body, he said:

«You’re mine. He won’t have you! No one will, because you are mine».

«You are mine too», I whispered.

He kissed me passionately and looked at me.

«I won’t you and never will get tired of you. I won’t let you go».

I felt better, even if he had not answered my questions.

«Why did you marry me?»

He looked at me.

«I wanted us to be a proper couple».

«We already were». I insisted: «We came here together, remember?»

My point didn’t persuade him.

«I wanted to marry you. What were you thinking? That we could have sex for a while and break up at some point? Do you miss being free?»

He pretended to be calm, but his words were full of rage.

«I wanted you and I want us to be together for the rest of our lives. I don’t miss being free. Do you?»