Rock Me Slowly (13 page)

We head straight into our second song of the set and really get the crowd going. Tanner needs the drugs to get high but this feeling is the most intense high I will ever experience. The song finishes and Tanner has his drum solo. This is always one of the most highly anticipated parts of our shows. The crowd love Tanner just as much as we do. His sets are always crazy, majorly fast drum fills with Tanner drinking numerous beers and smoking cigarettes in the process.

Fucking multi-talented.

The rest of us are standing in the wings of the stage waiting for Tanner to finish his drum interlude. I take a swig of my beer just to quench the thirst that has built up with the heat of the stage. Just as I swallow the mouthful of beer I notice that Sophie is standing in the opposite side of the stage talking to one of the roadies. I wonder if she has been watching the show from there. She has my heart beating wildly again and it suddenly seems very important to me to outperform myself and impress her.

I do hope she stays and watches the rest of the show.

Sophie

I am quietly standing in the left wing of the stage watching the show. I have to admit they are absolutely fantastic live and they captivate the crowd completely. I’m very proud to have been a part of this set up. They seem to have a very strong fan base and they all seem to be in the their element on stage. It just goes to prove that dreams can come true. I admire each and every one of them. Their talent is truly once in a lifetime and although Mickey and Josh are having their issues it doesn’t seem to get in the way of the bands success or their performance.

The show goes without a hitch and it is a huge success. The boys gel so well together and it’s like a family out there performing. Every so often Josh will catch my eye from his corner of the stage and I can’t find it in myself to look away. Josh not only captivates the groupies in the front row of the crowd but he has my attention whole heartedly. I have tried so very hard to ignore the pull that he seems to have over me, but truth be told I can’t. There is just something about him and it’s not his superstardom, fame or the money, it’s him. Josh is broken and I so desperately want to be given the opportunity to fix him. It’s not going to be easy to get close to him again.

I catch Josh’s eye once again and this time I’m rewarded with one of his panty dropping smiles. There we go, that’s exactly what I have been missing from him. It fills me with a deep longing to be loved by him. I know it’s nothing but a dream but it’s starting to consume me so deeply now, that I can’t think about anything else.

The guys exit the stage and they all run past me whilst gulping down beers to celebrate their first gig. The only one who hangs back is Josh who actually looks very nervous on his approach to me.

So he damn well should, the way he has treated me has been confusing at best.

“So, I saw that you watched the whole show from back here. Did you… erm like what you saw?” Josh says quietly just so that only me and Josh can hear what is being said.

“It’s the first time I have heard all of the bands big hits and I was very impressed Josh. I knew you guys were very talented but the level of that talent goes beyond the scope of anything I have ever heard before. You should be very proud.” Remaining calm telling him this is so fucking hard, I want to slam my fists against his rock hard chest and ask him why the hell he enjoys hurting me so damn much. I don’t do that, my pride won’t allow it.

“Thanks Sophie, despite everything that means a lot to me. I just wondered if you would like to come with us to the club down the block and have a few after show drinks to celebrate. Absolutely no strings attached, just as friends?” Josh looks totally earnest in his request and I don’t have it in my heart to reject him.

Unlike he did you Sophie?

I tell that voice in my head to shut the hell up, it always interferes at the most inappropriate times. I really want to spend more time with Josh so my answer is a no brainer.

“Thank you Josh I would like that very much, thanks for inviting me out with you guys.” I leave my response at that and head back down into the guy’s dressing room to collect my purse so that I can head back onto the tour bus once again. Once I’m in the dressing room, I’m faced with a bunch of butt naked men and the view makes me slightly giddy at not only the sheer nakedness but also at the tattoos on display. Before my weaknesses gets in the way of professionalism I grab my purse. I’m about to head back out the door when I’m accosted by Mickey again.

He is completely naked and he actually has me very apprehensive about being in this confined space with him. I don’t feel an intense attraction to Mickey like I do with Josh but he is still a force to be reckoned with. His hands start to gently rub at my arms and I can clearly see that he is aroused. I’m starting to wonder if having a huge cock was a requirement of being able to join the band. These guys are fucking huge! I can’t let Mickey think that I’m interested in him, as impressive as he is.

“Look Mickey please stop, I don’t want this. I want us to be friends. I don’t feel that way for you. I’m sorry.” Mickey backs off me and bends down onto the shelf for one of the towels that were left for the band. He wraps the towel around his middle and smiles a huge smile that reaches his eyes.

“No sweat baby. I’m here if you want me though.” Mickey winks at me and then walks straight into the bathroom to take a shower. Surely these guys aren’t short of female attention, so then why do they keep hitting on me? I’m nothing special.

When I’m safely back inside the bus I head straight into the bathroom and take a quick shower in anticipation for tonight. Once out the shower I wrap my favourite pink fluffy towel around my body and step back into the main area of the bus. I rummage through my suitcase to find something suitable to wear for tonight.

I pick out my backless black dress with diamante studs along the bottom hemline. Its ultra-sexy but I think that tonight is the perfect opportunity to wear it. I find my bright pink thong that I have decided to wear with it and team the outfit with my black stilettos. I head back into the bathroom to get dressed, do my makeup and decide what exactly I’m going to do with my hair.

Once I’m dressed and my makeup is applied, I decide to straighten my blonde locks and leave my hair down, something I don’t often do. I look damn fuckable if I do say so myself. One of the roadies told me that the guys were leaving for the club straight from the arena dressing room so I have the honour of having Trev escorting me to the club. Apparently it isn’t safe for me to head there alone now that the groupies have caught wind of me being in the guy’s company 24/7 for the foreseeable future.

Jealous little harpies need to go and get themselves a fucking life!

I’m interrupted by Trev who is here now to escort me and I have to admit I’m very excited about what tonight will bring.

“You ready to go then trouble?” Ah Trev and his pet name. He’s a sweetheart really.

“Lead the way Trev. I’m so ready to let my hair down tonight.” Trev protects me as we head out of the bus through the shouting crowd of fans that have gathered around the bus. Little do they know that the guys have already left for the club. He helps me into the Chrysler and we are now speeding towards the club. I have absolutely no idea where abouts we are headed but I love the mystery of this evening.

We finally pull up outside a very swanky looking club called Violets. Trev gets out the car first and then comes round to my side and opens up my door. I get out and I’m met by some very forceful looking paparazzi aiming to get a few snaps of me as I get out the car. Trev blocks the majority of the snaps but I’m sure one of them got a few snaps of my face. Apparently Buried Alive are huge news here in San Diego.

I scurry into the club as quick as my eight inch heels allow. I love the atmosphere of the club, its stunning. There is red velvet booths and black glass tables everywhere. I’m glad to see there isn’t a tacky waitress dressed in a bunny outfit anywhere, score.

I spot the guys sitting in the V.I.P area and I make my way over there hastily. I really don’t want to be accosted by anyone. As I get closer to the booth I can feel the air whoosh straight out of my chest at the sight of Josh. If I thought he couldn’t look any more stunning than he is in his stage gear I was wrong. Josh is wearing a very neat pair of blue jeans with a black dress shirt with the top three buttons undone. I can see his tattoos peeking through. I have lost all ability to speak at this moment.

Oh holy crap tonight is going to be so much harder than I had anticipated.

The sight of Sophie walking into the club in that outfit has my senses on red alert. She is beauty personified. It has to be illegal for someone to look that damn sexy. Just the way that her dress fits and the way it accentuates her curves has me wanting to rub my hands over every inch of her. God damn, I’m going to go straight to hell for this but I’m going to have to have a taste of her tonight. The whole fucked up situation has me feeling like I’m Adam tempted to take a taste of the forbidden fruit.

“Come up to the bar with me Sophie and I’ll get us our drinks.” I already have a buzz but I’m going to need something stronger to cope with the urge that I have for this girl. I leave the other guys at our booth and accompany Sophie to the bar. I can feel Mickey’s eyes on me but I don’t give a damn. In my mind she is still my woman and I will do anything to keep her away from him. He will end up hurting her beyond repair. Sophie is most definitely an angel amongst demons. “What would you like to drink Soph?” I stare into the depths of her enchanting eyes as if I had just asked her a deep and meaningful question.

“Erm w..Well, I really want to get smashed tonight so make it a jagermeister.” Holy crap talk about starting heavy. She sits down on the bar stool and I do the same, it’s more comfortable than standing about like a complete douche. We sit in an uncomfortable silence whilst we wait for our drinks to arrive. God, how I wish I could take the awkwardness away and replace it with the ease that we had previously. Our drinks arrive and I take a tentative sip whilst Sophie just throws it back.

Wow, no holds barred with this girl!

“Woaw calm down Sophie, you have all night to get drunk let’s not get carried away with ourselves, huh?” I really hope that she isn’t getting wasted because of the situation between us.

Well fuck it, if getting wasted is good enough for Sophie its damn well good enough for me. We continue to knock back Jagermeister after Jagermeister and the room seems to be spinning on its axis relentlessly. I fear it won’t be long before I’m running down an alleyway puking my guts up. How fucking attractive would that be in front of the most beautiful woman in the world. Even if she is as wrecked as I am.

I turn around and notice that the guys have found themselves some women to show off to. Brilliant, maybe Mickey will leave me and Sophie alone to puke together. We finish off our serious drinking session by consuming vodka shots, by this time we are both utterly wasted. I’m not sure how I’m even standing.

Sophie somehow manages to slide off of her barstool elegantly even though she is as drunk as a skunk. She looks good enough to eat, in fact that is exactly what I want to do to her. I’m having an internal battle. One minute I want to leave her alone and let her get on with her life and her career and the next I want to throw caution to the wind and rip all her clothes off where she stands and take her up against the bar.

What the fuck am I doing?

Sophie is looking at me with a seductive intent in her eyes and I find that look so damn sexy. Drunk Sophie is full of confidence and self-worth and I find that its turning me on so much, I want her and I want her now!

All of a sudden I seem to be surrounded by a bunch of over amorous groupies circling around me like bloody vultures. Why the hell wont these girls just leave me alone? If I wanted a cheap and skanky lay for the night I would of plucked one of them out hours ago. These girls could never stand in Sophie’s shoes, shes too special for words. She puts up with my shit and yet she can still find it in herself to talk to me never mind breathe the same air, unbelievable.

“Josh…..Josh. I hear you’re without company tonight, why don’t we head on back to your tour bus for a little private time. What do you say?” These girls are unreal, have they no self-respect? Why would you so blatantly throw yourself at a man you don’t even know?

What a hypocrite I am. I have been sleeping with these girls for months and only now do I question the moral of the situation!

Just as the group of girls gets larger around me I feel Sophie’s hand yank at my wrist and I’m being led past the girls and through the club to the rear entrance. I had a lucky escape there, any longer and I would have been groupie meat. Ripe for the picking.

I need to control my breathing, otherwise my heart is going to beat right out of my chest. That situation could of gotten out of control very fast if Sophie wasn’t there to rescue me. Ha, Sophie rescue me? Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? I have a desire to be Sophie’s knight in shining armour but at this moment in time I’m more of a twat in tinfoil!

Sophie has dragged me out the clubs back doors. We are both leaning against the doors when I let out a very audible sigh of relief. Those women were damn feral!

We both burst into a fit of laughter at the absurdity of Sophie saving me from a bunch of cock hungry fans.

“Wow that was intense, Josh. Does that happen to you often?” Sophie is incredulous at the scene that just transpired. I’m mortified that Sophie had to witness the lengths that groupies will go to just to spend one night with a member of Buried Alive. I wish Sophie didn’t have to see that part of my life. I would readily get wasted and fuck the nearest girl available just to feel some kind of emotion. I’m a dark and deep man, one that wishes he could feel a connection. Now that I do I’m trying to push that one person as far away from me as I can get.

“Yes it does, usually I would be totally up for anything these girls put to me. Tonight seems to be different though.” I contemplate the meaning behind my words.