ROAR (55 page)

He kissed the top of the cat’s head and set her down again to wander off to be by herself.

Half an hour later, he walked into Tori’s room. The lights hadn’t been turned on, so he flipped on the nightlight to see if she was awake or asleep. Her eyes were open, so he went ahead and turned on the floor lamp. Not too bright to be annoying.

As if Tori could be annoyed about anything anymore.

He stroked her cheek, but got the response he expected. Nothing. “Hey, sweetheart. I’m back.” He started to tell her he’d missed her, but didn’t want to lie. Sure, he’d thought about her while in California, but mostly in the context of how to get on with his life and the business of living.

‘
No regrets, no guilt.’

Pamela’s words came to him, and he steered clear of those useless emotions. Crawling into the bed behind Tori, he wrapped his arm around her, careful to avoid the feeding tube.

“Tori, thank you for being the best wife a man could ever ask for. Thanks for putting up with my workaholic ways. I know I left you alone many times, and if I had it to do over again, I would have ditched work to spend more time with you.”

He blinked away the sting in his eyes.

“We always think we have forever, but that wasn’t possible for us.”

Kristoffer didn’t know how to start this conversation, so he remained quiet a while. “Sweetheart, I have something to tell you. A while ago, I told you I’d met someone—Pamela. I didn’t intend for this to happen, but it just did.” He drew and expelled a deep breath. “I’m falling in love with her.” Might already have fallen. Hard.

“We’re talking about making plans for our future together. I want you to know I’ll never divorce or abandon you, but I need Pamela in my life. I’ve been so lonely since you were taken away from me. I thought I could be content to go on like this, but…I can’t. She takes care of me and I her. We comfort each other. I know this sounds weird, but if you had picked out someone for me to be with after you, it would have been Pamela. You’d like her.”

Not that he’d have asked Tori to choose someone. He’d thought they’d grow old together. He closed his eyes, as a tear trickled inside his ear. He cleared his throat. Exhaustion overtook him, and he kept his eyes closed and listened to her breathing.

Sometime later, he crawled out of bed, kissed her goodnight, and returned to the condo. Ron and Liz were asleep in his bedroom, which he’d asked them to take. Liz had made up a place for him on the sofa, and after pouring himself a Scotch, he downed it and went to the bathroom off the office to prepare for bed.

Tomorrow he’d see Pamela again. Tori’s parents were closer to him than his own mother in many ways. Having them meet the woman he intended to spend the rest of his life with was suddenly important to him. On the spur of the moment, he texted Pamela to see if she’d like to join them for lunch or brunch.

For two people who weren’t planning to marry, they sure spent a lot of time meeting each other’s family members. But he, at least, wanted to know more about her family. He could learn a lot about her that way.

He wondered if he should be nervous about Pamela’s father, knowing how rule-oriented an Air Force officer could be. How much influence would he have on his daughter’s life choices? Only time would tell if the man would be an asset or a liability to their happiness.

However, meeting him was important. While they couldn’t enter into any kind of legal commitment at this point, they could share with their loved ones what they did have. It made it more visible, more real, more valid.

He just hoped the man wouldn’t have a problem with their living together, because the day was going to come soon when Kristoffer wouldn’t be able to send Pamela back to her apartment again at night.

“Y
ou’re here! Come in!” Monica cried, holding out her arms.

Her stepmother seemed genuinely happy to see them, despite the short notice and it being the Fourth of July. Pamela had expected them to be celebrating with friends from the Air Force Academy and hadn’t wanted to intrude. To be honest, she thought they’d suggest she and Kristoffer come down the next weekend, instead.

Kristoffer’s hand at the small of her back helped tamp down her nervousness. How would Dad react to him? She wanted them to hit it off, but he might not be too happy about Pamela’s plans given Kristoffer’s marital status.

Speaking of which, her smiling dad came up beside Monica. “Here’s my girl!” He reached out to give Pamela a bear hug that stole her breath away. “So good to see you, Punkin. It’s been too long.”

Oh, Dad. Don’t use that nickname today!

But Pamela laughed the moniker away to diminish its power. Another childish nickname to live down, although Kristoffer hadn’t pounced on the Sunshine one her mom used. “Good to see you, too, Dad.”

He braced her upper arms as he backed away and gave her a thorough inspection. “Look at the freckles on you.”

“Yep. Still there, Dad.” He’d always teased her about her freckles. Most of the time, they were nearly invisible, but she’d spent a lot of time in the sun last week.

“And who have we here?” he asked, turning his attention to Kristoffer. While he wasn’t blatant, the intense stare told her he was sizing Kristoffer up. All she’d said to Dad on the phone was that she was bringing a friend, but she hadn’t mentioned it would be a
male
friend, one she was very close to, besides.

Chicken
.

“Monica, Dad, I’d like you to meet Kristoffer Larson. Last month, we finished consulting on a project for the hospital I worked at in Afghanistan.” What else should she reveal in these crucial first moments? “We’ve also become close friends. We took a recent trip together to California. Kristoffer rented a convertible, which is probably why my freckles are so pronounced, Dad.”

Dad raised his eyebrows and gave Kristoffer a closer look. She might need to explain more over dinner, but after introducing them to Marc during their oh-so-brief engagement, Pamela was afraid to call this anything deeper and jinx it. The universe had a way of laughing when she made plans. Besides, she and Kristoffer hadn’t figured out how they planned to move forward, other than they knew they wanted to be together in some type of committed relationship.

Kristoffer reached out to shake her dad’s hand while Pamela gave Monica a quick hug. “Pleased to meet you, sir.” Her embrace ended while Dad continued to grip and shake Kristoffer’s hand. To his credit, Kristoffer didn’t flinch at all.

“Only the cadets call me sir. It’s Bryce.” Pamela relaxed some. He didn’t ask people to call him by his given name unless he liked them.

“Bryce, it is. I am Kristoffer.”

She stood aside as Kristoffer pecked Monica on her upturned cheek before handing her the premium bottle of wine they’d stowed in their luggage on the flight home yesterday. Thankfully, it hadn’t been stolen or broken in transit.

“Nice to meet you, too, ma’am. Pamela and I chose a little something for you both to enjoy sometime at one of our wine-tasting stops in Sonoma.”

Her stepmother looked at the label, and her eyes opened wider. “Wonderful vintage. A Cabernet blend will be the perfect complement for the steaks, too, and this label tops anything we have on the wine rack. Chilled or room temperature?”

“Chilled—about 60 degrees would be ideal.”

Monica nodded with a smile. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Dad stepped to the side and indicated for them to enter the living room. “Kristoffer, why don’t you come out and help me on the deck? How do you take your steak?”

“Medium, please.”

“And to drink? Beer? Wine? Cocktail?”

“Water would be perfect, thanks. With the long drive ahead, we’ll save the wine to enjoy with your wife’s fabulous cooking.”

Dad nodded. “Smart and responsible. I like that in my daughter’s…friends.”

Clearly, Dad already suspected more between them.
How could he not, with Kristoffer’s hand at the small of my back when we came in?

Dad turned and led the way to the deck while Monica headed toward the kitchen. Pamela started to follow the men, but Kristoffer turned to her. “Why don’t you see if there’s anything Monica needs help with, Sprite?” He didn’t say the nickname loud enough for the others to hear, but she took this as a signal he was speaking to her as her Dom. Was he seeking out alone time with her dad already?

Because it wasn’t really a suggestion, she nodded obediently and whispered, “Yes, Sir.”

Her heart pounded as he walked away, but she turned to follow Monica down the hallway to the kitchen. She knew it was more from worry about what Kristoffer and Dad would talk about than spending time with her stepmom. They got along pretty well, especially in the kitchen. She’d forgotten that until the conversation with Kristoffer at Año Nuevo Park where they’d watched the elephant seals.

Monica closed the fridge and went to the oven to place the tray of hors d’oeuvres in to bake.

“What can I do to help?” Pamela asked, watching Monica set the bottle in the wine chiller to a temp of 60 degrees just as Kristoffer had suggested.

“Well, if you’d like to help, wrap these asparagus shoots in prosciutto. They only need five minutes to bake, so we’ll put them in when we know the men are closer to being ready to eat.”

Monica’s words made her worry that Dad was grilling Kristoffer instead of steaks, so her mind went back to the men outside. But Kristoffer could take care of himself.

Forcing her anxiety down, she washed her hands and went to work, letting the silence drag out until it became uncomfortable after a few minutes.

“How are Whitney and William doing?” She hadn’t seen her step-siblings since the holidays.

Monica’s continued silence caused her to look up to find tears in the woman’s eyes. Her chin quivered, making Pamela wonder what was wrong. Was someone ill?

“Whitney’s pregnant.”

Pamela didn’t get the impression those were tears of joy on the imminent grandmother’s face, but a baby on the way should be rejoiced no matter what. “Congratulations. When’s she due?”

“Six months. She wants to have a big wedding and invite all of our friends. How does she expect me to pull that off on such short notice? And you know how conservative this community is.”

Pamela wondered how well her choosing to spend the rest of her life with a legally married man would go over.

But this wasn’t about her. She reached out to stop Monica’s hands from breaking the ends off the asparagus, compelling Monica to stop and meet her gaze. “I’m sure she’ll be happy with any type of ceremony she has if it means joining her with the one she loves.” At least she hoped the two loved one another. Her parents had found themselves in a predicament that might have forced them to marry, but they’d seemed happy in the earlier years at least.

Pamela realized marriage wouldn’t be in the cards for her anytime soon—if ever. Would she miss sharing that moment with family and friends? No, not really. She and Kristoffer would figure out a way to honor their commitment when the time came, and if they wanted to celebrate with family and friends, they could host a reception following whatever kind of ceremony they decided upon.

“If there’s anything I can do to help, Monica, let me know. I should be stateside when the baby arrives.” She wouldn’t mention her interview tomorrow at Children’s, just in case it didn’t pan out.

“Whitney’s too young to be having a child. She’s still a baby herself.”

Pamela smiled. Whitney was twenty-eight years old. Heck, Monica had gotten pregnant at seventeen and again at nineteen by a high-school boyfriend who wasn’t able to handle the responsibilities of a wife or having two kids at a young age. And Pamela’s own mom had gotten pregnant at seventeen, too. Seventeen was what she’d call too young, not twenty-eight. Why was she so worried about her daughter?

Be sympathetic and understanding.

“How do you feel about them as a couple? Is her boyfriend good to her? Will he be able to provide for the physical and emotional needs of his new family if they marry?” Her questions seemed to shift Monica’s focus away from feeling sorry for herself and her daughter.

“She’s dated him for more than two years. We’ve met him a few times and liked him. And he has a civilian job on base that provides a steady income.” While that didn’t address how good a husband and father he would be, at least he wasn’t going to shirk his financial responsibilities.

“I think it’s wonderful they’ve chosen to have the baby and build a new life together. They seem to have everything in their favor.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Monica looked away, apparently at a loss for what else to do or say.

She didn’t sound convinced this was going to work out. “What’s worrying you?”

She met Pamela’s gaze again. “They hadn’t spoken of marrying until she found out she was pregnant. I know from experience that’s not a sound reason to marry someone. Whitney and William’s father was a disaster to be with.”

Pamela closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around her stepmom. “Keep the lines of communication open, and if anything seems to be wrong, don’t sweep it under the rug. It’s hard to predict who will or won’t be abusive. You and Dad raised Whitney to know she deserves better than an abusive man. She’s strong and self-assured. I don’t see her standing for that kind of treatment one minute past when it surfaces.”

Monica held on a little longer. When she pulled away, she reached for a linen towel and wiped her tears.

Pamela had no doubt Monica would embrace being a grandmother, once the initial shock wore off. “I hear grandchildren are so much more wonderful than children because you get to love on them and then send them home to their parents.”

Monica smiled and looked at the countertop. “We’d better get busy before they wonder what happened to us.”

As she wrapped the asparagus spears, Pamela wondered for the first time how Dad felt about becoming a grandfather. He’d raised Monica’s children as their father, and he had adopted both as his own. Whitney’s baby would very much be his first grandchild.

Truly, Pamela had never given much thought to having children—or providing her parents with grandchildren. Good thing, because rug rats probably wouldn’t be in the cards for her and Kristoffer. She had no qualms about having a baby outside of marriage as long as she was certain the relationship would last, but Kristoffer and Tori had chosen not to have kids. There was little reason to believe he’d suddenly want them now with his… girlfriend. What would her status be? Submissive, yes, but that was in private and only open in the lifestyle community. Close friends, as she’d introduced him to Dad and Monica, didn’t convey the relationship she hoped they were building together.