Risking it All (11 page)

pleasure? It was just another line. She

knew
it and yet, combined with the way

he looked at her, she felt like the only

person in the room. “That’s just bad

manners.”

Gray eyes twinkled. “They’re the only

kind I have.”

“You’re confusing me, Bowen.” She

took a deep breath. “I need to get back to

work.”

When she tried to extricate herself, he

didn’t budge. “That’s the first time

you’ve said my name.” He rubbed their

lips together. “Whisper it again in my

ear, then I’ll go.”

“You’re a lunatic.” He simply raised

an eyebrow and she sighed, annoyed at

the traitorous smile playing around her

mouth. Holding his shoulders for

support, she pressed up on her toes and

laid her mouth against his ear. After

taking a moment to inhale his smoky

leather scent, she let his name fall from

her lips. “
Bowen
.”

He actually shook. The arm banding

her waist tightened, and the breath

whooshed from her lungs. Then just as

quickly, he let her go. “I’ll be
right

back.”

All she could do was nod.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Bowen bit the inside of his cheek to

silence the screaming in his head, the

churning sickness in his stomach. His

knuckles ached and he needed to wash

them off before he saw Sera. It helped to

think about her, so he hung on to the

image of her lying in the middle of his

guest bed. Any minute, he would get out

of this car full of jackasses bragging

about

the

beatdowns

they’d

just

delivered and see her again. And maybe

she’d let him pretend like earlier. Maybe

she’d let him kiss her and call her

Ladybug and fantasize they weren’t so

different. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Not one fucking certainty in his life,

except for pain. The giving of it and the

receiving of it. Not a day went by

anymore where he didn’t condone the

use of violence. As a teenager and even

through his early twenties, he’d loved

fighting. Lived for it. He’d loved the fact

no one ever got the drop on him; he

could use his fists to get out of any

situation. That time had long passed, and

now it was work. The kind of work that

breaks you down until nothing registers.

For a while now, he’d experienced slips

into numbness. It got a little easier every

time, to issue the order. A little easier to

think of people as dollar signs instead of

living, breathing human beings with

souls.

Had
he
been born with a soul? He’d

often wondered if it were possible to

walk upright, communicating and living

life with just the idea of where his soul

should be. Worse, did people see that

lack in him? Is that why everyone left in

the end?

An image of the woman, hair streaked

full of pink, replaced Sera in his mind,

but he grabbed on to her and held tight,

the way he wished he could do in real

life. He didn’t want to think about the

woman or why she’d left or if it had

been something he could have prevented.

Something

he

could

have

done

differently. Right now, at least he had a

purpose. Protect Sera. Keep Ruby’s

involvement in his father’s arrest

confidential. If he could do those two

things, maybe he could look back one

day and say he’d done something that

mattered. Keeping his own ass out of jail

didn’t quite rate in comparison, but it

drove him, too. No way would he pass

his father in the Rikers Island cafeteria

and see smug satisfaction on his face.

Finally, after an eternity, the car

pulled over to drop him at the curb

outside of Rush. The other passengers

were still in their element, mimicking the

cries of pain they’d induced tonight,

already talking about the next time.

Irritation snapping behind his eyes, he

stooped down and leaned into the

passenger side window. Everyone shut

up, attention zeroing in on him. “Listen

up. You assholes want to go out and get

your dicks wet, get drunk? Have at it.

But keep your fucking mouths shut.

You’re about as inconspicuous as a

couple of Macy’s parade floats. This

isn’t your first fight and it won’t be your

last, so quit acting like it. You’re

embarrassing yourselves and me in the

process.”

The driver held up his hands. “You

got it, boss.”

God
, he hated being called that. Boss

of what? A car full of shitheads. He

straightened and patted the car’s roof

once. “Take it easy on them girls.”

Spirits somewhat restored, the car full

of men pulled away as Bowen walked

into Rush, nodding in greeting at the

bouncer. As he wove through the crowd

at the bar, he heard his name spoken

several times. Some of the voices

female, some male. He ignored them all.

The moment his eyes landed on Sera, the

screaming in his head died down to a

whisper. Face flushed, hair falling out of

its ponytail, she looked more than a little

flustered. Since he’d left, the place had

grown busy, the typical Saturday night

crowd looking to get rowdy. The tray

full of drinks in her hand looked seconds

from gracing the floor.

Good Lord, the girl was a horrible

waitress. Why did that make him want

her even more?

He didn’t even realize he was walking

toward her until Connor stepped into his

path, bringing him up short. “Driscol.”

Bowen gave a quick nod, angling

himself so he could keep an eye on Sera.

“Look at you, fully clothed. Is there a

special occasion?”

“Nah.” Connor shrugged. “I just don’t

have a beautiful girl in my bed at the

moment.”

His vision swam with red. “I’d be

more careful about what comes out of

your mouth. I don’t care if this club

belongs to your cousin. Don’t talk about

her.”

Connor considered him in a way that

made Bowen almost uncomfortable. This

wasn’t a typical neighborhood guy. Too

much went on behind his eyes. A quick

glance at the man’s forearm and the navy

tattoo told him Connor hadn’t spent his

entire life in Brooklyn, like the rest of

them. “I just wanted to confirm my

suspicion.”

“The suspicion that I’d like to kick

your ass?”

“Nope.” He tipped back his bottle of

Heineken. “The suspicion that the

ladies’ man I’d heard so much about is

gone over one chick.”

Bowen accepted a glass of whiskey

from the bartender, not bothering to deny

it. He’d already screwed himself with

his possessive behavior. “So what? You

want to go paint our nails and talk about

it or something?”

“Funny. You know why I brought it

up.” His voice trailed off when the

music quieted between songs. When

another one kicked in, he spoke again.

“She overheard something. Something

she shouldn’t have.”

“Excuse me?” Bowen swore he could

feel the blood turning to solid ice in his

veins. “We’re talking about Sera?”

“No, the other girl you almost ripped

my throat out over.”

“Talk,” he gritted out.

Connor finished his beer and set it on

the bar. “Last week. Hogan had a phone

conversation in the hallway outside my

room. He didn’t realize she was inside

changing my bandage.” He glanced over

his shoulder at Sera where she took a

drink order. When he turned back, his

eyebrows were drawn low. “It was the

date of the shipment. She heard it. No

location, but it was enough to worry my

cousin. That’s why she’s marked, man.”

Even having already known Hogan

wanted Sera gone didn’t ease the blow

of hearing it spoken aloud. Over his

dead body would those words ever

come true. “The question is, why are you

telling me this?”

“I’d be dead if it wasn’t for her. I

repay my debts.”

Difficult as it was to admit, Bowen

believed him. He’d had a lot of

experience dealing with liars, and this

guy wasn’t one. Second, he knew all too

well the way Sera could work her way

under your skin, make you question your

own loyalties. Watching her call an

order to the bartender, his throat

squeezed. He needed to distract himself

or he would carry her out of there over

his shoulder. “How’d you end up here?”

Connor raised an eyebrow.

“Going from the navy to running

small-time game in Brooklyn?” Bowen

shrugged. “That’s pretty far to fall.”

“Thanks, man.” He pulled his wallet

out of his pocket. “You want to go paint

our nails and talk about it or

something?”

“Fair enough.” Bowen watched as

Connor laid a twenty-dollar tip on the

bar. “Listen,” he said, uncomfortable

expressing gratitude. “I owe you one. I

repay my debts, too.”

Connor turned to leave, then stopped.

“You might want to clean the blood off

your knuckles before you go see her.”

Bowen

showed

no

reaction,

continuing to sip his whiskey. His gaze

sought Sera over the rim of his glass,

Connor’s parting words echoing in his

head. What kind of man had to clean

blood off his hands before going to see

his girl? A man too tainted to touch her.

The glass froze at his lips when he

didn’t immediately see her in the dining

room. Quickly, he scanned the bar, panic

like a hot poker in his stomach.
Relax,

she’s probably just in the bathroom.

But when several minutes passed and

she didn’t emerge, fear replaced panic.

No way could she have passed him and

left the bar. He would have sensed her

walking by, would have seen her. She

had to be somewhere inside the bar.

His attention snagged on the kitchen,

his feet beginning to move before any

type of decision registered. When they’d

gone out to the alley on Friday night,

he’d noticed a door inside the kitchen,

one he presumed led to the basement. If

she’d gone down there, he prayed she

was alone. That she hadn’t been taken

down there against her will. Jesus, why

had he let Connor distract him? Had it

been intentional?

The cook called his name as he

entered the kitchen, but Bowen ignored

him, taking the stairs leading to the

basement two at a time. Her name

burned his throat, dying to be shouted,

but he didn’t want to alert anyone to his

presence until he knew what he was up

against. When he reached the bottom, he

saw light coming from another door. An

office? He went closer, stopping short

when he saw Sera, rummaging through a

drawer, flashlight wedged between her

teeth.

Hogan’s office. She’s looking for the

ledger.

The ledger I’ll have to take away.

One my name is definitely in. Probably

multiple times.

His first instinct was to drag her from

the office, tell her to forget everything

she’d seen. The more she knew, the

more imminent the danger to her life

would become. What if someone else,

not him, had come down and seen her?

Hundreds of customers were upstairs.

People loyal to Hogan who would jump

at the chance to score points with him by

turning in Sera. How could she take such

a stupid risk?

Then logic resumed. This was her job.

This was why she was there in the first

place. It hit him then, how much danger

Sera had put herself in. God, if

something happened to her…

No. He wouldn’t allow it. She might

be on a mission to bring down Hogan

and get justice for her brother, but that

undertaking conflicted with his own.