Risk (Gentry Boys #2) (16 page)

Almost everyone else began life alone.  Not us though.  We’d seen the ugliest side of hell and pulled each other out of its grip.  What if their hands hadn’t been there to hold onto me and vice versa?  I knew at some point in those nasty years I wouldn’t have been able to climb up into the light. 

Our father, Benton Gentry, was a lousy fuck and he would always be a lousy fuck.  My hatred for him was raw and consuming.  My feelings for Maggie Gentry were tougher to sort out.   I tried to picture my mother holding us as babies.  She had been the one to decide on our unusual names.  It seemed there had to have been a time, however brief, that she had loved us.  It just wasn’t enough for her to stay away from the shit that rolled her eyes back in her head and left her passed out on a dirty mattress as our lives went on around her.   It also wasn’t enough for her to gather some shreds of courage and protect us from Benton’s brutality.  We had to do that for each other. 

Strangely, as my mind drifted through the messy histories of my parents, I thought of Truly.  She’d come from bad shit too, even if maybe it wasn’t the same type of bad shit.  But she would understand.  She would listen if I rested my head on her chest and choked out all the things I’d never said out loud.  Suddenly I wanted to do just that.  I wanted to do it very badly.

“Ready for more?” Cord asked and then I remembered there were other things going on that I needed to deal with first.

“Yeah,” I muttered, rising with a grunt. “I’m ready.” 

Truly

Of all the men I’ve been with there was never one who left me with more good memories than bad.   Sometimes the sour taste was merely disappointment over not receiving as much as I was giving.  I could have exhausted myself chasing after someone who would always outrun me.  Occasionally I was clued in early to the kind of violence my mother had often endured and I would run pell-mell in the other direction before things went further.  That was something I was proud of; I never allowed a man to hurt me twice.  But every now and then it occurred to me that maybe if I’d had more decent men around when I was a girl then I might be able to spot them more easily. 

Or maybe the first man who fought his way inside of me was right; I had opened my legs time and again because it was what I was best at. 

Bullshit, baby girl.  Bullshit. 

It was only my own mind answering me but I sat up and listened to it anyway.  I threw off the covers and got out of bed.  I had no cause to be mooning around and feeling despair. There was no one to blame for my life’s mistakes but me.  I’d already accepted that I was the sum of all my own broken parts. 

As I showered and dressed for work I thought of Creedence, which made me smile and blush all at the same time.  I’d had a bad opinion of him.  It wouldn’t be the first time I was wrong.  I still understood that he wasn’t all sweetness and sunshine.   But he didn’t make false promises to get what he wanted.  From the way he entered my body to the way he sang to me in the darkness, there was a raw decency about Creed.   There might not be anything more important than that. 

And what did Creed Gentry think of me?  Likely he believed I was a strong-willed Southern girl who might have been roughed up a little by life but devoid of any real scars.  That was what I wanted him to think anyway. 

I was on my way out when Stephanie burst through the door like a tornado.  She tried to run past me with her head down, her curly hair falling around her face like a veil, but I stopped her.   I’d heard the sob ripping out of her throat.  The sound astonished me as much as if Dolly had opened up her mouth and said hello. 

“Steph!”  I reached for her.

She pushed me off.  “Shit, Truly, leave me alone.”  She ran into her bedroom and slammed the door. 

I sighed.  Dolly stared at me from her perch atop the kitchen counter.  I’d be late for work if I didn’t leave.  It sounded like Stephanie was throwing objects against the wall.  She was plainly in no mood for a discussion. 

I walked over to her bedroom door and stood there for a minute.  She had quieted down and I thought I heard her sink into her bed.  I knocked. 

“Steph?”

I chewed my lip as I waited for some sign from her.  I didn’t really know what to say to that girl.  We weren’t friends; we were merely people who coexisted.  Still, I couldn’t just walk out the door and leave her alone with her pain.

“What?” she finally answered in a muffled voice. 

“Look, I’ve got half a gallon of Dreyer’s mint chocolate chip in the freezer.  I’ve been less than pleased about the size of my ass lately so I’m trying to cut back.  You can have it.”  I paused.  I couldn’t tell if she was even listening.  “There’s a lot to be said for the healing properties of ice cream.” 

Still no response. 

“Well,” I sighed, “I’ll be late if I dawdle any longer.  Look Steph, I know we’re not close but I’ve got a shoulder that’s been cried on before.  It’s yours to use if you’d like.” 

I moved away from the door.  Just before I stepped away I heard a small girlish voice say, “Thank you.” 

My heart was heavy as I left and climbed into my car for the short drive to Cluck This.  I’d always figured Stephanie kept up her bitchy front because she couldn’t be bothered with people.  But maybe she was more like me that I’d realized; another wounded girl who just couldn’t bear to come clean about her troubles. 

When I arrived at Cluck This, Saylor was standing in the break room with a miserable look on her face.  She had circles under her eyes.  She didn’t see me at first and I just stood there for a moment, puzzling over her.  Saylor didn’t hide from the truth.  She said she’d learned the hard way that reality, no matter how ugly, couldn’t be ignored.  She’d even told me everything about herself and about Cord in a matter-of-fact way.  I didn’t know how much of her openness was always there or if it was something Cord had brought out in her. 

“Hey, girl,” I said, squeezing her shoulder. 

Saylor turned and gave me a vague smile. “Damn, look at you.  You’re practically glowing.” 

I blushed.  “Hmm, yeah.  I got some sun yesterday.”  It seemed a little awkward to regale her with the bawdy times I’ve been having with her boyfriend’s brother. 

She laughed.  “I’ll bet you did.”  Her smile faded and she cocked her head.   “How is Creed?”

I was confused.  “Creed?”

She nodded.

“Why are you asking?  Don’t you see him every day?”

“Not today,” she said and the troubled look returned to her face.  “I mean, he was home but I didn’t talk to him.  He was brooding out on the patio and Cord told me to leave him alone.” 

Now it was my turn to be troubled.  “I don’t know what that’s about.  He seemed like something was bothering him last night and then he left real early.” 

The expression on her face was strange, intense.  “So he hasn’t said anything to you?”

“About what?”

She didn’t answer.  I was becoming weary of trying to drag information out of people. I tried again.  “Saylor?”

“Creed’s going to be in a fight,” she blurted.  She immediately looked as if she wished she hadn’t said it. 

“A fight?”

She looked at the clock.  “If we don’t get in the dining room Ed will come in here and start yelling loud enough to give me a headache.”  She coughed into her arm and started to leave.  “I already have a headache.” 

I grabbed her arm.  “What fight, Say?  I thought they weren’t doing that anymore.”  She’d told me a little bit about how the Gentry boys used to earn money by fighting in these heavily gambled underground brawls.  She’d also led me to believe those days were behind them.  Creed had certainly never said a word about it.  I thought he worked as a security guard and that was it. 

Saylor looked unhappy.  “It’s some kind of prior obligation.  Honestly, I’m not sure about the details.  Cord’s being all tight-lipped about it and hell if Creed will open up.”   She leaned against the wall and began combing her fingers through her long brown hair.  I’d spent enough time with her to know it was something she did when she was feeling uneasy.   The black letters inked on the inside of her arm caught my eye.  She’d had the tattoo done several months back when she was in the first blush of love with Cordero Gentry.  I’d raised my eyebrows the first time she showed it to me. 

Amor vincit omnia.  

Translation:  Love conquers all. 

If that was true I hadn’t seen much evidence of it.  But then, I had more than one reason to be so pessimistic. 

“He didn’t say a word,” I said flatly.  I didn’t know why it bothered me so much.  There was sure a hell of a lot I hadn’t told him. Maybe I shouldn’t have assumed I was the only one with secrets.

Saylor was looking more miserable by the second.  That was the thing about Say; there wasn’t an ounce of guile in that girl.  You could tell everything she was feeling by the expression on her face. I let out a thick sigh and began to walk into the dining room. 

“Truly.” 

I turned around.  The corners of her mouth turned up. 

“He likes you.  A hell of a lot.  Creedence might be a stone wall at times but there are some things he just can’t hide.”

I nodded absently.  “He likes me.  That’s good.  It’s good he likes me.” 

“You like him too.” 

I exhaled shakily.  “Too much, Saylor.  Too much.” 

She reached out and grasped my hand, squeezing it briefly.  I left her with that thought and tied my apron around my waist as I left the break room. I envied Saylor.  Not because she’d found love.  But for another reason.  I knew what had happened to her in California.  I knew how she’d run back to Arizona bruised and damaged by someone who was supposed to care for her.  Yet she was still able to look at a man, even one she’d once despised, and see possibilities.  She’d been able to fall in love quickly and without reservation. 

Saylor kept an eye on me all afternoon.  I was slower than usual and Ed frowned in my direction a few times.  I tried to concentrate on taking orders and delivering plates.  My mind kept wandering back to Creed though. 

I figured I could press Saylor into telling me everything she knew but that wasn’t really fair to her.  A lifetime ago I would have sought the company of my sisters when I was feeling low and uncertain.   Aggie was especially my touchstone but Mia and Carrie were also big pieces of my heart.  When I was fourteen I’d had to start high school in a rural part of Georgia where it seemed we were the only ones who didn’t have local family histories going back two hundred years.  I didn’t have a friend in sight and even my sisters were all down in the middle school.  I was flattered when a senior named Toby Carter took an interest in me. I was foolish enough to believe that when a boy brought you out in his car and put his mouth on the large breasts you were already embarrassed about, it meant he liked you.  But Toby just had me do a few things for him before calling me a trashy slut and dumping me a mile away from the motel which was our temporary home.  When I told my sisters what happened they were even more hurt for me than I was for myself. 

Saylor nudged me playfully when she brushed past.  “Quit dreaming,” she said in a teasing tone of voice.  I could tell she was trying to test my mood. 

Perhaps Creed hadn’t mentioned the fight because it was no big deal.   Really, I’d known plenty of men who fought regularly without getting paid for it.  They’d get brave with alcohol and start shit with whoever looked at them funny.  Creed was probably just going to throw a few controlled punches and likely the worst that could happen was a busted nose.  I started to feel better. 

But if that was the case why did Saylor look so anxious?

As I finished depositing a pile of chicken baskets on a table brimming with teenagers I realized I didn’t have to wonder about Creed’s fight any longer.  I could just ask him.  He was standing right in front of me. 

CREED

Cord had a lot of grit in him and he didn’t go easy on me.  In fact, I had the impression he was trying to be as tough as he could without breaking something.  By the time we called it a day and hit the showers I was exhausted. 

He seemed encouraged as we headed out to the parking lot.  “You did good.  And damn you for being a strong motherfucker.  I still can’t breathe right after that last hit to my ribs.” 

I waited until we were inside the truck and the air conditioning was on.  We needed to talk about something important.  “What are we gonna do about Chase?”

Cord sighed.  “I know.  We need to figure that out.  Saylor cornered me and made me admit he has a problem.  I guess even Truly saw him scoring something off a dealer at the stadium.” 

I was surprised.  “She did?  She didn’t say anything to me about it.” 

My brother ran a hand over his face.  He looked grim.  “Do you have any idea when you’ll have to fight?”

“No.  It’ll be soon though, Cordero.  Real soon.” 

He nodded.  “Yeah, I figured.  Shit, I know Chase needs some attention but let’s just take one disaster at a time, okay?”

I didn’t like that answer.  I didn’t want to let it go another day.  But I looked at Cordero slumping in the seat next to me and understood everything he had on his plate; pregnant girlfriend, one brother who was using, and another who might not make it out of his next battle alive.

Since I found out about Emilio’s fate, I kept thinking about something he’d said.  He’d mentioned kids, his kids.  He had taken the fight in the hopes of providing for a family who were now going to have to figure out how to make it without him.  

If the worst happened, I had to know that
my
family was going to be able to make it without me.

“Cord?”

He looked at me.

I cleared my throat and tried to keep my voice steady.  “You’ll make sure Chase gets help, right?  I mean, no matter what happens, you won’t let him fall between the cracks?”

He shook his head slowly and answered in a near whisper.  “No, Creedence.  I wouldn’t let that happen.  You can damn well believe I wouldn’t let that happen.” 

I turned the air up but it was still stifling hot inside the truck.  It was time to change the subject.  “You want to go eat?” I asked.  “We could swing by the chicken joint.”

He laughed.  “Life and death and fried chicken all in the same conversation.  Sure, I’d like some chicken.  And while I’m there I can grab a quick feel of my girl.”  He glanced slyly sideways.  “And maybe you can get a lap dance out of yours.” 

“My what?”

“Don’t play stupid, fuckface.  Your girl.  Sweet Southern Truly.” 

“Hmm,” I grunted, backing the truck out.   The thought of Truly grinding in my lap was giving rise to something worth grinding on.  Listening to Cord refer to her as ‘your girl’ startled me a little.  I didn’t really know what to call her and she hadn’t outright asked.  I knew that a fierce possessiveness stirred inside me whenever I thought of her.  I wanted to hold her.  I wanted to listen to her.  I just plain fucking
wanted
her. 

As soon as we stepped inside the doors of Cluck This, Saylor set down the pitcher she was holding and rushed straight to Cord.  He lifted her slightly and kissed her neck. 

Another waitress, some bland-looking chick with skinny legs, greeted me with a pat on the arm.  I had no idea what her name was and I didn’t care.  She tried to get me to look at her every time I stopped by.  The fact that I’d never even answered with a hello only seemed to make her more determined. 

Truly had her arms full of chicken baskets.  She hadn’t seen me yet.  I stood behind her and waited as she briskly got her table served.  I stared at her ass the whole time. 

When she turned around she let out a little gasp.  I saw the blush cross her face and knew she was happy to see me even if she tried to act all cool about it.  She put a hand on her hip and looked me up and down.  “I suppose you’re looking to eat.” 

I smiled.  “I could eat.” 

Her mouth twitched.  “Chicken, Creedence.  That’s what we serve here.” 

I sat down at a nearby table.  “I’ll eat whatever you want to serve me, Truly Lee.”  She was just standing there staring at me.  I grabbed her hand and tried to pull her over.  “Do I get a kiss?”

She tried to twist away.  “Creed, my boss is watching.” 

“Kiss me, baby, or I might have to shove my hand down your pants.” 

She shook her head but I could tell she liked it when I talked like that.  She liked it a lot.  I stood up and made a grab for her waist, acting like I was going to tear the snap off her jeans.

“All right,” she laughed, giving in and standing up on tiptoe to reach my mouth. 

I wrapped my arms around her.  I wanted to get closer.  I wanted to do it now.

She retreated.  “Sandwich, right?  With a beer?”

“Sandwich yes, beer no.” 

I returned to the table and Cord joined me.  I checked my phone, a little surprised to see how far into the afternoon we were. 

“Where do you think our brother’s at right now?” 

“He’s got a three hour lab today.  Doesn’t let out for a while.” 

“Ah, right.”  I looked over at Saylor as she ran a credit card through the register at the bar. I dropped my voice.  “So, am I supposed to know about your lady’s delicate condition?”

Cord couldn’t hide his smile.  “We only found out for sure last week.”  He looked thoughtfully over at Say.  “I don’t think it’ll bother her if you know.” 

“Still getting married?”

He looked surprised.  “Of course.”

I was proud of my brother.  He was really going to make this happen.  He would have a family, a home, the good life.  As my gaze fell on Saylor again I couldn’t help but feel a surge of affection for the girl who was giving all that to him.   She saw me watching and shot me a funny look. 

A few minutes later Truly brought my food out.  Then she sat down in a chair and gave me a flat stare. 

“You joining me?” I asked. 

“I’m taking a break.” 

“Will your boss pitch a shit fit?”

“No.  He left to go run some errands.”

Cord coughed once and stood up.  “Think I’ll see if I can be of any use in the kitchen.” 

I took a large bite of the chicken sandwich.  Truly watched me as I chewed and swallowed. 

“There something you want to say to me, babe?  Look, I’m sorry I took off so early this morning.  Didn’t have anything to do with you.” 

“What did it have to do with?”

I sighed.  “Truly, I’m no good at this bullshit.  Can you just tell me what’s on your mind?”

She toyed with her ponytail and looked out the window.  “When’s your fight, Creed?”

I shoved the sandwich away and sat back in my chair.  “Oh, that.  I guess Saylor felt the need to tell you about it.”

“Why didn’t
you
tell me about it?”

“Because when I’m with you I don’t like to think about a bunch of dirty bastards screaming for my blood.” 

She wilted a little.  I winced, wishing I’d taken it easy on the imagery. 

“Look at me, Truly.” 

She looked. 

I pulled her chair close to me and placed a hand on each of her thighs.  I didn’t know if I could put my thoughts into words but I was going to try.  “Look, I don’t know what to call this.  But I know that I think about you all the time.”

She touched my face.  Her eyes were soft.  “I think about you too.” 

I had to tell her something I’d never told anyone before.  My heart was actually pounding from it.  “There’s no one else, okay?  It doesn’t even cross my mind.”  I took her hand from my face and kissed it. 

“Creed.”  She stood up and wrapped her arms around me.  Our faces were inches apart.  “Just don’t mess me up.  Please.” 

“Never,” I said but Emilio’s image crossed my mind.  I didn’t tell her about that.  Maybe I should have. 

“So do I get to see you tonight?” I could hear the smile in her voice as she ran her hands down my arms. 

I stood up, pressed her against me.  “You can see me right now.” 

Her breath caught a little and her eyes closed.  “I have to work.” 

“I’ll work you.” 

She smiled but backed away.  “Later?”

I sat back down, put my feet up on the table.  “I’ll wait.” 

Truly glanced at the clock.  “I don’t get off until ten.  You planning on sitting there for the next seven hours?”

“That is my plan.  Better bring me another sandwich though.  I’m starving.” 

Before she walked away, Truly glanced back at me once with a happy smile.  I was glad to have made her happy.  I hoped nothing would happen to fuck with that. 

Once again I saw Emilio’s face and I felt a touch of guilt.  Would Truly be smiling so much if she knew what I’d seen last night?  If she knew what had happened to the last man who lost a fight to my future opponent? 

Cord returned to the table and ordered more food.  We talked about dumb shit and watched a baseball game on the television mounted over the bar.  After a while Chase rolled in and joined us.  He seemed tired but still kept up his usual mocking manner.   I’d meant it when I told Truly I was sticking around until she was off for the night.  Every time she glanced over and saw me still sitting there she seemed surprised but pleased. 

Whenever I looked at that girl I couldn’t believe my luck.  It seemed impossible that no other man had recognized that women just didn’t get any better than Truly Lee.  By all rights she should have been snatched up long before I got to her.

Chase, being the dick he was, kicked me under the table. “That really does it for you, huh?”

“The beast is being domesticated,” Cord joked and then laughed when I glared at him. 

I took their razzing for a while longer, making believe it pissed me off when it really didn’t. As the three of us sat there cussing and joking it was easy enough to pretend that we were just living in the same carefree way we had since exiting Emblem.  I could almost fool myself into thinking things were normal and there wasn’t a dark death cloud hanging over our heads.

Almost.