Rise (10 page)

I groaned at the thought. “Don’t remind me, Charlie. As much as I appreciate your appreciation of my good behavior, please don’t remind me.”

“Okay. I’ll let you keep thinking you’ve got some bad boy left in you.”

“Thanks.”

I leaned over to kiss her, and when I did, my hand slid between the seat and the console and rested on a spiral notebook. I pulled it out and read the title out loud. “Lies I Tell Myself.”

She grabbed for it, but I held it out of her reach.

“What is this?”

“A notebook.”

“I know it’s a notebook. What’s it mean? What’s it for?”

“It’s nothing. It’s just an assignment from Josh to help me get over my insecurity issues. I’m supposed to write down every negative thought I have about myself.”

“Can I look?”

She shrugged.

“I won’t if you don’t want me to.”

“You can; I don’t mind.”

Making sure not to actually read anything, I opened the cover and flipped through the first several pages. They were all full.

“How long have you been doing this?”

“Since yesterday.”

“There’s like four or five pages filled already.”

“I know. I’m totally messed up.” She winced. “Well, crap, there’s another one.”

“I had no idea you saw yourself like this. We kid about it all the time, but I always thought we were just joking. I didn’t know you took it all so seriously.”

“We are joking, and I don’t take what you and I say seriously.”

“Then what is it?”

“Joshua thinks it’s mostly dad issues.”

I flipped through it again, and although I didn’t read the sentences, words like ugly, stupid, crazy, undeserving, and moron jumped off the page over and over again. I was shocked. Shocked and sad.

“Charlie, none of this is true. You’re none of these things.”

“Well, that’s the second part of the assignment. I have another notebook at home that I write the positive stuff in.”

“Then you should’ve already filled an entire notebook by now. And if you ever need help coming up with the good things, just ask me. I’ll be glad to tell you all of them.”

“Riley, that won’t work.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re biased.”

“No, I’m not. I’m right.”

The light from headlights swept across the car, and I regretted that I wouldn’t have more time to discuss the notebook. “He’s here. Let’s go. We can talk more about this later.”

“What’s there to talk about?”

“Charlie, you’ve written five pages of negative stuff about yourself in a matter of twenty-four hours. You don’t think that’s gonna make me worry about you?”

“You don’t need to worry about me. Joshua’s got it under control. We’re working on it.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “What’s that?”

I followed her gaze and saw a piece of paper tucked under the windshield wiper. “Don’t know.”

We jumped out of the car as Dad walked up. “How’d you manage to get two flat tires, Attiline?”

“I don’t think I did manage it.”

She joined us on the driver’s side as I grabbed the piece of paper off the windshield and read it out loud.

“We drove by, saw your car, and couldn’t resist. We slashed your tires ‘cause you’re a dumb—”

“Don’t even say it,” she interrupted. “I bet I can guess how it ends.”

Dad snatched it out of my hand. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Evidently not.” Attie chewed on her thumbnail and stared absentmindedly at the tire.

“I’m gonna call Stew and report this. You two get in the car. I’ll be there in a minute.”

When I reached for Attie, she snapped out of her haze. “Let’s get in the car, Charlie. Dad’s gonna call the cops.”

Entwining her fingers in mine, she followed behind as I led her to the passenger side.

“Stew? It’s Tom Bennett. Sorry to call you so late … ”

I opened the back door and watched as Attie slowly climbed in and lay down in the backseat.

“I’m here in Deer Creek. Attie’s front two tires were slashed. Someone left a note about it on her windshield.”

When I opened the other car door and climbed in, Attie sat up slightly but quickly laid her head in my lap.

“They really do hate me.” There was sadness in her voice, and she said it as if she’d realized it for the first time. “They don’t just dislike me; they vehemently hate me. The words in the note prove that.”

“They don’t hate you, Charlie. They hate what you’ve accomplished since you got here. They’re jealous. They don’t know you enough yet to hate you.”

She started laughing.

“Okay, that came out totally wrong. Not that people would hate you if they got to know you.”

“Nice try.” She sat up, stole a glance out the front of the car, and then kissed me before slinking back to her corner of the backseat and grinning over at me.

“I love you.” The words spilled out of my mouth like the most natural words I’d ever spoken. They were three of the most honest words I’d ever said.

“You too.”

We stared at each other for a few seconds before my dad threw open the car door and climbed in the driver’s seat.

“So, Attiline, are you doing okay back there? You aren’t too upset, are you?”

Her attention left me and focused on Dad. “No, sir. I’m fine.”

During most of the drive home, I sat completely speechless as I watched Attie interact with my dad. Every once in a while she would glance my direction by peeking over her shoulder, but as soon as she realized I was still watching her, she would turn her head back around.

I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. I couldn’t help myself. I was done for.

chapter 11

(Attie)

It was late and I was tired. I wasn’t tired in a sleepy kind of way; I was tired from the drama. Tired from the temper tantrums Tiffany and her juicers had thrown most of the night and tired from knowing that they hated me enough to slash my tires and leave a disgusting note to make sure I knew just how they felt. I was tired and completely fed up.

Leaving Riley and Pops to fill out the police report downstairs with Stew, I moped up the stairs and into my room.

“Okay, you better be ready to bring it ‘cause I’m losing it.”

“Bring what?” Jesus asked from my desk chair.

“What am I supposed to do now? Look where praying for my enemies and forgiveness got me. They slashed my freakin’ tires.”

“Watch your language.”

“Sorry.” I threw myself onto the bed. “Doing the right thing isn’t getting me anywhere. They’re acting even worse.”

“Didn’t I tell you to expect that?”

“Uh, no,” I sassed. “A heads-up would’ve been nice.”

“Sometimes when you do the right things and you start living out my will rather than your own, life gets more difficult. You’re a child of God, Attie. You’re called to be meek and kind no matter how they act.”

“But kids at school don’t care if I’m a child of God. They don’t care if I’m meek or kind or any of that stuff. People don’t think I’m nice; they think I’ve lost my everlasting mind. Which I have, but they don’t need to know that. Nobody would put up with this.”

“My ways are not their ways. What they think about you doesn’t matter.”

“That’s easy for you to say. They aren’t slashing your tires and calling you bad names.”

“They are. When they attack you, they attack me. When you hurt, I hurt. You aren’t walking through this alone.”

“When do you put a stop to this?”

“Who says I do?”

I could feel the anger start to rise in my chest. I wanted to hear him say he’d fight for me, but that wasn’t at all what was happening.

“You’re going to let it continue?”

“You have to trust me on this, Attie. You may not see it right now, but good will come of this.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that from you before. More than once. So because I follow you, I have to suffer?”

“No. You aren’t necessarily suffering because you follow me, but you’re called to follow and trust in spite of the suffering. The true question is whether or not you’ll follow even if I don’t rescue you. Are you going to follow me no matter how bad you think it is?”

“You’re really trying to make this difficult on me, aren’t you?”

“Through hardship you learn how to handle more hardship.”

“There’s going to be more? You’re actually preparing me for more? Worse? That’s not really what I was hoping to hear.”

“Attie, you aren’t going to walk through life without suffering through hardship. Nobody does.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“What you need to do is see this as an opportunity to build your character and your spiritual fortitude so that when other things happen, they roll right off you and you move on ahead and do what I’ve called you to do.”

I couldn’t speak. The thought of suffering even more than I already had gave me stomach pains.

“I’m not a fortune teller. I’m not cryptically telling you your future. I’m simply saying that bad things happen to everyone, whether they’re my followers or they aren’t. The sooner you learn to handle those times, the better off you’re going to be.”

“So in order to learn that lesson, I’m supposed to sit back and do nothing?”

“Yes. Read the list we made together and try your hardest to live it out. Pray that we’ll give you the ability to live it out. That’s what I want from you.”

“What about my friends? They’re practically more upset than I am.”

“You need to lead by example.”

“What if I can’t?”

“Rise above it, Attie. You can do this. Don’t sink to Tiffany’s level; rise.”

chapter 12

(Riley)

Attie and I sat in the hallway outside our bedrooms. We were surrounded by our friends, and to no one’s surprise, Tammy had quite a bit to say about the tire slashing incident.

“Tiffany sure knows what she’s doing. She’s an evil genius who has all her devilish minions doing her dirty little deeds. You know she didn’t personally slash your tires. One of the juicers did.”

“Wretched hillbillies,” Kent added. “They’ve been drinking the Kool-Aid.”

“Bring on the pitchforks; it’s time for a witch hunt.”

“Watch it, Tammy,” Anne warned. “We don’t want to stoop to their level. We need to rise above all their shenanigans. We’ve got to show that we’re better than that.”

Tammy scoffed. “I don’t wanna be better than that. I wanna join right in.”

“You’d be ashamed of yourself if you did.”

“I’ll hang my head in shame later, Anne. Right now I wanna kick their butts.”

Jennifer raised her hand like she was in class waiting for permission to talk.

“Yeah?” Tammy asked.

“I wanna see them all get publicly flogged. Completely humiliated and laughed at in a very torturous manner. Seriously, how sick am I?”

“About as sick as me,” Tammy said.

Jennifer’s shoulders slumped. “Oh. A completely unhealthy amount then.”

“Okay, you two,” Attie interrupted. “I appreciate your willingness to rush to my defense. And I’m grateful that you’d all show up here on a Saturday morning to discuss the possibilities of revenge—”

“I had to gather the troops,” Tammy said.

“Well, unfortunately, you’re not going to like what I have to say.”

Tammy groaned. “Don’t even tell me that you’re about to say we have to behave.”

“That’s exactly what I’m going to tell you.”

“But Attie, I’ve spent hour upon hour thinking of ingenious ways to get even with those Kool-Aid snortin’ jerks. I have some really good ideas too.”

“I’m sure you do. You have a gift.”

I’d heard enough. The natives were getting restless, and it was time for someone to talk some sense into them before they planned an all-out attack.

“Look, if we don’t react, then they’ll get bored and move on to someone else. The important thing is that we don’t let them get a reaction outta us. We don’t let them have an effect on our lives.”

“Riley, they’re complete imbeciles. They aren’t even smart enough to figure out that we aren’t responding,” Tammy said.

“They’ll catch on eventually. Plus, Dad’s on to them now. He’ll step in if he needs to.”

“Did he tell you that?” Tess asked.

“Yes.”

Out of nowhere, Mom yelled up from the kitchen and announced that lunch was waiting on us.

“We’ll be right down, Mom!”

“How does she whip stuff together that fast?” Chase asked. “We just got here.”

“She’s a home ec teacher. She lives for this stuff,” Curt said.

“Plus, she’s probably hoping we’ll keep talking while we’re down there and she’ll be able to hear what’s going on. That woman can be a nosey body,” I added.

Attie stood up and walked to the middle of the group. “Back to the business at hand. I get the impression that this is a make or break moment. The juicers keep turning up the heat in hopes that we’ll eventually break—act as badly as they are. As soon as we lash out, they win. They prove that we’re no better than they are.”

“You think they’re actually smart enough to give it that much thought?” Tammy asked.

“They probably didn’t think that far ahead,” Attie said. “Look, I realize this isn’t world peace or anything, but in our school we have the chance to set an example for others to follow … ”

“Me?” Tammy shrieked. “I shouldn’t be setting an example for anyone. Me and example setting are treacherous areas.”

“You’re a great example,” Anne soothed.

Tammy shook her head in disgust. “I should’ve known better than to hang around a bunch of do-gooders. Now you people expect me to act just as good.”

“We aren’t asking you to ‘act’ anything,” Attie said. “You are a better person than that, Tammy, and you’re one of the most loyal people I’ve ever met. I’m not asking for everyone to act perfect—I know that’s impossible—and I also know that I’m about as far from perfection as a person can get. All I’m asking is that we try to do right, not what feels good. Trust me, I’d like to do a little butt kicking myself; but no matter how good it felt for the moment, it wouldn’t be the right thing to do.”

“Fine! I’ll behave.”

“Thank you, Tammy. So we have a deal?” Attie asked. “Nobody responds. We act like nothing happened.” She looked at Tammy, who gloomily gave her a nod. Then she looked at Jennifer. “What about you?”

“You know me, I hate confrontation. I talk a big game, but when it comes right down to it, if someone said ‘boo,’ I’d run the other direction.”

“Nice amount of honesty there, Jen,” Tammy teased.

“Anne,” Attie said, “you’ll have to be the one to set the example for the rest of us sinners.”

“I’ll do what I can. But with Kent and Tammy, I’ve got my hands full.”

Tammy stood and pulled Anne to her feet. “You have no idea how right you are. When it comes to retaliation, I’m like a moth to a flame.”

Anne hugged her. “I’m secretly in awe of your love for all things sinister.”

“Then stand back, girlfriend. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”

“I heard that,” Attie said.

“I’m just sayin’. ‘Good girl’ ain’t how I roll, so this is gonna be new to me. Everyone just sit back and watch the show. This could get mighty interesting.”