Ride the Tiger (28 page)

“You must be in constant pain,” she offered hesitantly, not sure he wanted to discuss the loss of the limb.

With a shrug, Gib rasped, “Some things you live with.” He motioned to his leg. “This is a pain I can tolerate.” What he could never live without was Dany.

“Do you have to take pain pills?”

Gib nodded. “I don't like drugs, but right now I have to take them whether I want them or not.” Desperately he wanted Dany to relax. If he could catch a glimpse of her old self... Her face had a pallor to it, and her left arm was still encased in a bandage. “How are you doing, honey?” he asked gently.

Honey.
Relief fractured through Dany, and suddenly she felt light-headed again. The way the endearment rolled off his lips and embraced her was like sun striking a cold, frozen land. “I'm surviving.”

“Your home? The last I remember, it was on fire.”

“It's gone.”

“Everything.”

“Yes.”

Gib ached to hold her. The loss, the depth of her abandonment, was in her eyes. Gib closed his own eyes. “I'm sorry, Dany. So damned sorry it happened this way. You didn't deserve to lose everything.”

Unconsciously, her hand rested against her belly. Gathering what little strength she'd found on the flight down to Saigon, Dany whispered, “Gib, why did you want to see me?”

He saw the terror in her face and heard it in her voice. She sat tensely in the chair, as if waiting for him to strike out at her, dealing some kind of emotional blow.

“I wanted you to know I didn't send you away.”

Her eyes rounded.

“Dany, as much as I can piece this together, I was out of my head with drugs when you visited me that first time in ICU. Dr. Froelich had come in and told me I'd lost part of my leg, and I was in shock and denial over it.” He released a ragged sigh. “And then, you came in. I was semiconscious, but I don't think you knew that. I was xre-experiencing the helicopter crash when you appeared in the middle of the flashback. I saw you superimposed on it. All I could think of was for you to get away before my gunship crashed and exploded. I was yelling at you to get away so you wouldn't get hurt in the crash.”

Dany felt the blood drain from her face. “Then...you weren't really telling me to go away?”

“No. My God, no, Dany. Not you, of all people.” Gib wondered if Dany was going to faint, she looked so waxen.

All Dany could do was cling to Gib's words, his admission that he hadn't wanted her to leave. Hope rekindled in her heart for the first time. The silence deepened, and she saw how nervous Gib had become, his fingers gripping and releasing the blankets that covered him.

“Dany,” he rasped, holding her gaze, “you mean more to me than anyone I've ever known.” Suffering deeply, Gib hesitated, so afraid she would spurn him if he spoke the words that wanted to rip from his mouth. As a cripple, what could he offer her?

Dany didn't move, terrified to ask what his statement meant. Gib hadn't said he loved her. She lowered her lashes.

Gib tried to read her features. Her hand was held protectively against her belly, and it struck Gib that she was holding herself in a protective position. Against what? Him? The unknown future? More than likely. He stretched his hand toward her.

“Come here,” he whispered thickly. “Come and stand by me.”

The words unstrung Dany, released her from the prison of her own fear of ultimate rejection.
Stand by me.
Jerkily, she got to her feet, leaving her purse on the chair. She walked forward in a daze of fear. Slowly, she lifted her hand. The instant Gib's fingers captured hers, she released an inaudible gasp. Almost hesitantly, she moved closer. His fingers were hot, almost feverish, and she could see the anxiety deep in his eyes.

His mouth dry, Gib rasped, “When I regained full consciousness after you'd left, all I wanted to do was hold you and love you, Dany.” His mouth pulled into a sad grimace. “And my next thought was that I wasn't whole. I'm not a complete man anymore. I thought you might have run away from me because you were disgusted by my stump—by me.”

A little cry escaped Dany, and she laid her hand on his chest. She could feel the heavy, hard beat of his heart beneath her palm. “How could I ever be disgusted by you?” she whispered unsteadily.

Gib absorbed her words and reached up with his hand to the two tears trailing down her cheeks. “I'm crippled for life, Dany.”

With a little shrug, she closed her eyes as his fingers trembled against her flesh. His touch alone was so stabilizing, so healing to her bleeding heart. “As far as I'm concerned, we're all walking wounded of one sort or another. It doesn't matter to me. Don't you understand?”

Gib was beginning to. “I was afraid....”

She sniffed. “Don't you remember what I told you?”

Slowly, Gib shook his head, drowning in the dark forest color of her eyes. Tears beaded on her thick black lashes, and he ached to kiss them away. “No. What did you say, honey?”

His slight pressure on her hand gave her the courage to speak. “I—I said that it didn't matter whether you lost your leg or not. That—that I loved you, regardless.”

Gib froze, his eyes holding her tearful gaze captive. “You what?” Had he heard right? Dany loved him? He was afraid to believe his ears, the words fragments of whispers escaping from her trembling lips.

Time halted, and Dany tried to prepare herself for his reaction. Hadn't Gib heard her admission? Why was he looking at her with that sudden intensity? “I said...I loved you.” There, the words were out. Breath jammed in Dany's throat. What would Gib do with her love now that he knew it existed?

With a groan, Gib reached up and swept her into his arms. “Sweet, beautiful woman,” he whispered raggedly, drawing her down across him and holding her so tightly he was afraid he might crush her. When he felt Dany's arm slip behind his neck and hold him just as tightly, he sighed. “I love you. I've loved you from the first time I saw you, Dany. And God help me, through these months, what we share has kept me going.”

Gib opened his eyes, tears leaking from the corners of them as he gently stroked her unbound hair. He felt her sob, her face buried against him. “I felt as if my heart had been ripped from my soul when I found out you'd left the hospital.”

Easing away, Dany quavered, “I'm sorry, Gib.”

“Never be sorry, honey. Come here, let me kiss you.” He slid his hand beneath her chin and guided her wet, tear-bathed lips to his. The instant his mouth glided along her own, all the suffering, all the agony he'd carried for those hellish days and nights dissolved beneath the sweet, moist mouth hungrily returning his kiss. All the love he'd never spoken about went into his tender exploration of her lips as they parted and allowed him entrance. Gib inhaled her wonderful, fragrant scent amid the terrible hospital odors. Dany was alive, warm and like melting honey in his arms, her mouth searching, her breath a ragged symphony with his own. Finally, he eased back and looked into her emerald eyes—eyes filled with love for him alone.

“I love you,” he rasped. “Don't ever forget that, Dany. Not for one second, one minute, hour or day.”

Sniffing, Dany eased away just enough to see his face and drown in the brilliant green, gold and brown of his eyes. She'd never seen a man cry before, but she did now, and it tore her heart wide open. “There's so much to tell you, Gib, to share with you. And I'm scared, scared to death where to begin.”

Cupping her cheek, Gib whispered, “My love for you will never change, Dany. No matter what you tell me, or what's happened, we can handle it—together.”

Drawing in a painful breath, Dany absorbed his warmth and love. It gave her the necessary courage. Her voice came out low and broken. “When I ran away—and I did, Gib—I was hysterical. Part of it was because of losing my home, losing everything I've ever known. I could have stood that if I'd had you, but at the time, I didn't.” She touched his hand and he instantly gripped her fingers. “I loved you. I've loved you from the first moment I saw you running down the driveway toward me after my mother was killed. You were so strong, so sure and capable when I felt like I was none of those things. At first I was wary of you because you were an American. And later, as I realized how I felt, I was afraid you were like the other GIs.”

Gib nodded. “That's been our largest hurdle—the GI image.”

“I was such a coward about it, Gib. Look how I've hurt you...myself...”

“You're many things, Dany, but not a coward,” he told her roughly. “A coward wouldn't have carved out a neutrality between so many enemy forces. A coward wouldn't have fought for her land when it was going to be stolen from beneath her. A coward wouldn't have taken her people out of harm's way and then stood her ground when the attack came.” He inhaled brokenly, aching for Dany, for her warped perception of herself. She didn't realize how much she'd accomplished alone and unaided in her lifetime. Gib promised her silently that if she would stay, if she wouldn't run from him again, he'd show her just how unique and wonderful she really was.

“Well—” Dany sniffed, wiping her eyes “—
I felt
like a coward. I loved you and left. I didn't trust you enough to stay.”

“You left because you thought I didn't want you anymore,” he told her huskily, threading his fingers through her hair. “If you'd known differently, Dany, they'd have had to fight you to keep you away.”

She managed a small smile. “That's true....”

“You did what you had to do to survive, honey.” He pressed a kiss to her temple.

Taking in a ragged breath, Dany held his narrowed gaze, burning with love for her alone. “There's one more thing, Gib. One more...” Her voice trailed off.

Worriedly, he framed her face with his hands. “What's wrong?” he demanded, fear starting to pound through him.

She managed a slight grimace. “Not what's wrong—what's right.”

Puzzled, he reached upward and kissed her compressed lips. There was such anxiety in Dany's eyes. “Just tell me, honey. I told you before, I love you. We'll handle whatever it is together. Are you sick or something?”

She shook her head. “No, not sick.” When she saw Gib's eyes turn a dark golden color, as they had when he'd loved her that night and the morning after, Dany found the courage she'd been seeking. The words slipped reverently from her lips. “I'm pregnant, Gib. I'm nearly three months along. It happened when we made love at the hotel in Saigon....”

Gib lay stunned. Dany's face was translucent, almost madonnalike. Her eyes were huge and luminous, her lips parted, as if silently pleading with him not to reject her because of the baby she carried. How could he? His fingers tightened on her face and then he released her. For an instant he saw terror enter her eyes.

“Come here,” he quavered, and swept her into his arms, crushing her against him. Burying his face in the thick black silk of her hair, he held her for a long, long time, just savoring her nearness and absorbing her admission. “You're going to have our baby. Oh, God, Dany, I love you. I love both of you so much.” He kissed her hair, temple, cheek and, finally, her mouth.

A moan of surrender, of love, welled up through Dany as she felt his strong mouth capture hers. He kissed her with such touching hunger that she responded effortlessly, drinking deeply from his proffered love. Breathing raggedly, she couldn't get enough of him, of his mouth, the taste of him, the smell of him. His hands, trembling, explored her as if she were some fragile, exquisite vessel that could break at any moment.

The joy that swept through her, the realization that he was euphoric over the idea of the baby, made Dany feel faint with relief. Gradually, they eased apart. Dany saw the happiness in Gib's hooded eyes.

“Boy or girl?” he wanted to know, kissing her lush, wet lips.

“I feel like it's a girl,” Dany whispered, smiling into his eyes.

“Sure?”

“I just have this feeling.”

“Women are good with intuition.” He smiled unsteadily, tears in his eyes. “I love little girls.”

“Oh, I'm so glad! I thought...maybe you'd want a son first....”

Gib sighed and gently stroked her flushed cheek. “I don't care if it's a boy or girl, honey.” He shook his head in stunned amazement. “Wait until my family hears about this. Tess will go crazy. She's been ragging on at me to get married, settle down and have a brood of kids. She's kid crazy, you know.”

Dany gently touched Gib's cheek. “I want lots of children, too. I'm just like Tess.”

His smile grew. “Marry me, Dany.”

“When?”

“Now. We'll get Dr. Froelich to hunt up a preacher for us. We'll be married right here.” He caressed her hair. “I don't want another minute to go by without you knowing that I'm never going to abandon you, Dany. You or our baby. Understand?”

Joy shimmered through Dany as she absorbed his words. “Yes...I understand.”

“Never again will you be alone, honey. Pretty soon, they'll transfer me stateside, and you're coming with me. We'll both heal together at the Ramsey ranch. You can learn to love the harsh Texas land as much as you loved the land here in Vietnam.”

She smiled gently and leaned down, kissing him. “Now that I have your love, the land isn't that hard to leave behind, Gib. Isn't that odd?”

He shook his head, contentment overwhelming him, taking away his pain. “Not odd at all. The love you had wasn't ever returned by your parents, Dany. Ma Ling loved you, thank God. She was your only lifeline in that sense. All that love in you, you turned into a positive—loving the land, because it gave back to you. The land was the only constant that never played games with your heart. It was the only thing that was as loyal as you were. That's why you couldn't sell the plantation.”