Ride the Tiger (27 page)

“She loves you,” Tess whispered unsteadily, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Oh, Gib, she loves you so much.”

His own eyes narrowed. “Dany told you that?”

“Yes, just before she left.”

His fist knotted.

Brokenly, Tess continued. “Gib, the VC attack on her home left it totally destroyed. Dany had no place to go after she left the hospital. She was in shock from losing her home—her whole life has been ripped away from her. She said her mother had been an orphan, so she had no relatives in the States to go to. Dany's in Da Nang, but I think she's planning on leaving for France to live with her father's kin.”

“What kind of shape was she in?” Gib's mind refused to function as he wanted. He'd lost part of his leg. The career he'd thought he'd have for twenty years was suddenly over. He would never fly again. The woman he loved with a desperation that more than paralleled what he felt at the loss of his extremity, was gone, too, and it tore at his raw heart.

“Not good. Dany couldn't stop crying.” Softly, Tess added, “I don't blame her, Gib. Everything in her life was gone: first her mother, then her home, and then you.”

“I love her, Tess.”

“I know that. I tried to convince her, Gib, but Dany wouldn't believe me. She said she was like any other Viet woman falling in love with an American GI. I guess you were pretty adamant about her leaving when she went in to see you.”

His eyes flashed with anger. “Losing my foot was a shock, Tess. It still is. I was denying what the doctor said, for God sakes! That and reliving the crash.”

“I know, I know.”

“When is she leaving for France?”

“I don't know for sure. She insisted I stay here with you, and she took a taxi to the hotel. She left a note telling me she was returning to Da Nang.” Tess shook her head. “She left with only the clothes on her back—the clothes I'd loaned her once we got to Da Nang, Gib. And she'd been injured during the fighting.”

His gaze snapped back to Tess. “Hurt?”

“Her left arm required thirty stitches when we got to Da Nang. Flying glass hit her arm and slashed it open. The doctor at the MASH unit wanted to give her a pint of blood, but she refused, saying she was all right.”

Slowly, Gib was putting the pieces together. Fear warred with anger within him. “Dany was in shock from everything,” he rasped, “including loss of blood.” He glanced up at the features of his suffering sister. “When you've lost a lot of blood, you don't put two and two together very well.”

“I'm sorry, Gib. I tried to make Dany stay here. But you have to understand, we'd lived through that VC attack. Dany saw your helicopter shot out of the sky. And then, after we got patched up in Da Nang, I wrangled a C-130 flight down here to be with you.” Tess held his hand tightly in hers. “Dany and I had gone without sleep for eighteen hours, Gib. Once we got to the hotel room, cleaned up and changed clothes, we came straight over here. I didn't get to see you until 4:00 A.M. that first morning. Both of us were reeling from exhaustion and shock.”

“It's no wonder Dany took my mutterings the wrong way,” Gib whispered, closing his eyes. “And I never told her I loved her, Tess. I never said those words. God, if only I had before this all happened, Dany wouldn't have left. She'd have known I loved her. What the hell was I waiting on? What the hell did I think I was doing by hiding from her how I felt?” Drawing in a deep, shuddering breath, Gib reopened his eyes and looked up. “Damn it, I can lose part of my leg, but I can't lose her!”

Tears trickled down Tess's cheeks. “Gib, you aren't going anywhere but stateside. Dr. Froelich said you're going to be flown out of here soon to Oaknoll Naval Hospital near San Francisco.”

Panic struck Gib. “Like hell I will! I've got to get in touch with Dany. She's got to know I love her. Will you call her, Tess?”

“Yes, I will. I'll try and reach her right now. Listen,” Tess begged, “you're looking terrible, Gib. You've got to rest. You can't let this upset you any more than it already has. This is going to take time. I'll do everything I can from my end. Unfortunately, I've got to leave this evening for Da Nang. I want to stay, but I can't. I'm sorry.”

Breathing hard, with sweat beading on his taut skin, Gib rasped, “If you can't connect with Dany before you leave, then call Ma Ling when you get back to Da Nang. She was Dany's
real
mother. If anyone can persuade Dany to come and see me, it will be her.”

“Okay, okay, I will.” Nervously, Tess touched her brother's dampened gown. “Gib, calm down, please. You're working yourself into a lather.”

“Damn it, Tess, I
love
Dany!” He jabbed his finger toward his bandaged extremity. “My whole life's been ripped away just like hers has! I can manage anything—everything—but I can't manage without her. Do you understand?”

Sadly, Tess nodded. “I do.” She leaned over and hugged him gently, placing a kiss on his perspiring brow. “I'll do what I can for you and Dany. I promise.”

Gib lay there, eyes closed, after Tess had left. His mind spun with options, choices and harsh reality, while pain deluged him, far sharper than the agony he endured from his wounded leg. Dany needed him, needed to know that somewhere in this damn world, someone cared about and wanted her. She'd been unwanted all her life.

But another fear, even deeper and more pervasive, chilled him. Maybe Dany had been horrified at seeing he'd lost part of his leg. Maybe that was why she'd left. Licking his cracked lips, he felt the terrible weight of the present crushing down on him. The Marine Corps would give him an immediate discharge as soon as he recovered. And he'd go home to the family ranch.

Home.
Gib inhaled brokenly. Home had always been the Ramsey homestead, left to him in his parents' will. At least he had a place to go and heal, something familiar. Dany had nothing and no one. He recalled poignantly that she'd said her relatives regarded her strangely because she was half-American. Dany had no place to go where she'd be welcomed with open, loving arms as he would be. He knew that Miguel and Vivi would be thrilled to hear he was coming home to run the Ramsey ranch. And their two beautiful young daughters, Marina and Jessica, would be happy because they always considered Gib their “uncle.” Yes, he had a family to go home to. People who loved him, who cared for him.

Bitterly, Gib wiped the sweat off his forehead, feeling nausea from the overwhelming pain floating up his leg. Still, the pain he felt in his heart was ten times worse. His love for Dany had never wavered, never changed throughout the months he'd known her. It had only grown in volume and depth, something so beautiful that Gib had feared it was too fragile, too good to last. Only he hadn't counted on how it would end. Or why. Now he could only guess why Dany had run away from him. Was it really because she believed he didn't want her? Or was it because he was no longer a whole man?

Tears squeezed from beneath his spiky lashes as he lay on the bed. He cried for himself and for his loss, but more than anything, he cried for the loss of Dany.

* * *

Ma Ling hung up the phone. She stood in the spacious hotel suite in Da Nang for a good minute before moving. Dany was in the living room going through a box of items that had survived the fire at the plantation. Taking a deep breath, Ma Ling moved quietly into the room.

“Who was on the phone?” Dany asked, looking up from where she sat on the carpeted floor. In her hands was a partially burned address book.

“Tess Ramsey.”

Dany held her breath. It had been two and a half days since she'd returned from Saigon, from being with Gib. Ma Ling's face softened a she approached and sat down next to her on the pale pink sofa. “Wh-what did she say?” How was Gib? My God, she couldn't think straight since returning to Da Nang. Her mind and heart were still mired in worry for him.

Gently, Ma Ling picked up Dany's hand and pressed it between her own. “Tess asked me to tell you that Gib wants to see you. She wants you to fly to Saigon immediately.”

Gasping, Dany rose to her knees, her heart pounding with fear. “Is he worse?”

Patting her hand, Ma Ling said, “He's improving.”

Dany closed her eyes momentarily, her hand pressed against her heart. “Thank God.”

“Daughter of my heart, you must go see Gib Ramsey.” Ma Ling gestured to her belly. “You carry his child, and he doesn't even know it.”

Pulling her hand away, Dany stood up. Dizziness assailed her, and she caught herself. “He doesn't love me!” she cried. “Why should I go see him or tell him about his baby?”

Patiently, Ma Ling stood and went over to her. Her black eyes grew determined. “Tess says differently. She says that Gib loves you.”

Bitterly, she stated, “That's what she told me before I left.”

“Then why didn't you believe her?”

“Because it was coming from Tess, not from Gib! He screamed at me to leave, Ma Ling!” Choking, Dany rasped, “What choice did I have? It was obvious Gib didn't want me. I told him I loved him! And he started shouting at me to leave.”

Ma Ling wagged her finger in Dany's distraught face. “No! You must hear it from him. He's no longer in a cloud of drugs. You owe it to him, yourself and your child to see him one last time. To tell the truth—about everything.”

Dany pressed her hands against her face and fought the tears. “I—I don't want my baby to grow up without a family,” she whispered. “I want her to have a family, a mother
and
a father who love her. I—I just don't know.”

Ma Ling led Dany over to the sofa and made her sit down. “`There are times in each of our lives when we must ride the tiger that can kill us,' daughter. That is a very old Vietnamese saying and a wise one. This is your time.”

Dany looked up at her nanny. As fierce as Ma Ling looked, her eyes shone with love. “I'm afraid,” she whispered.

Tenderly, Ma Ling hugged Dany. “And Gib is probably just as afraid or even more so.”

“Why should he be?” Dany's voice was muffled in Ma Ling's shoulder.

The other woman released her and smiled down at her. “If he indeed does love you, how must he feel about losing his leg and wondering what you will think of that? Surely, he must wonder if you love him enough to stay with him!”

The feelings that flowed through her at that thought were as excruciatingly beautiful as they were terrifying. Still, the fear of rejection stabbed at Dany. She'd been rejected so many times that it was almost impossible to say yes to Ma Ling's request and put herself on the firing line one last time. If ever Dany had felt as if a rifle were being aimed at her at close range, it was now. Only this time the risk involved Gib—the only man she'd ever truly loved. Bowing her head, completely gutted of strength, Dany whispered, “Yes, I'll go see him.”

* * *

Gib was angry and unhappy. He hated the light green room, the medical equipment, the boredom. Absently he gathered the bedspread in his fingers, clenched it, then released it. Tess had called him this morning to tell him she'd spoken to Ma Ling, who had promised to give the message to Dany. Would Dany come? It was only a three-hour flight to Saigon, and now it was 2000, the end of visiting hours. He'd so desperately wanted to see the door open and Dany appear. In another half hour the nurse would come in and give him a sleeping pill, and he'd be out for twelve hours straight. What if Dany came during that time? Would she stay? Leave? What if he didn't have a chance—

The door to his room slowly opened. Gib's eyes slitted. No...it couldn't be. Dany? He gripped the bed sheet convulsively.
Dany!

As she silently slipped through the door, Gib's heart somersaulted with unparalleled joy, then shrank in abject terror. He broke out in a heavy sweat, unable to accurately read Dany's features. She wore a pale lavender
ao dai
with white silk pants, white sandals on her small feet. Her black hair was loose and fell across her shoulders. It was the darkness and hesitancy Gib saw in her huge green eyes that sent alarm through him.

She stood nervously by the closed door, her hands gripping a small white purse in front of her, held like a shield to protect her—from him? His voice cracked. “You came.”

Dany forced herself to look into Gib's pale, sweaty features. His eyes were dark with suffering that had to be constant. Her gaze swept from his harshly lined face to the swath of bandages that encased his leg. Tears stung her eyes—tears of compassion for him as well as of joy at seeing him. Dany quickly fought them back. Gib would interpret her tears as pity.

“I...” Her voice faltered. “Tess called this morning and—and Ma Ling said I should come and see you.” Stumbling on, afraid he was going to yell at her again, she whispered, “I'm sorry I didn't call first. If this is an inconvenient time, I can—”

“No! Please don't go.”

Dany closed her mouth and stared at him, the force of his words carrying so much emotional weight that she reeled internally from their effect. She saw Gib wrestling with inner demons. Did he hate her? Was she making his life complicated by coming?

Gib felt the sweet, raw torture of wanting to open his arms to Dany, to crush her in a hard embrace so she'd never want to leave him again. His mouth dry, he glanced down at his injured leg. “What I mean is, I'm glad you came.” His heart was pounding so hard in his chest that he thought he might die. Forcing himself to meet her lustrous gaze, he said, “Please...sit down.”

Dany forced herself to move, feeling light-headed, her legs like wooden extensions, her movements jerky and uncoordinated. It wasn't until she sat down that faintness rimmed her vision. Was it relief that Gib hadn't sent her away yet? She placed her trembling hands on the purse on her lap. Just one look into his shadowed eyes, and her heart automatically reached out to Gib.