Ride the Tiger (21 page)

“I'm sorry I'm so late,” Dany said breathlessly, sliding down in the dark blue leather booth. “Vinh had a last-minute shopping list of art supplies he wanted me to get for him. The store was crowded, and I had to wait too long at the checkout line.”

Gib smiled. “Don't worry about it.” He captured her hand and squeezed it gently. “How are you?”

Just the touch of his hand steadied her out-of-kilter world. Dany rolled her eyes and sat back with a sigh. “Better now that I'm with you.”

“Music to my ears,” Gib said. The waiter came over.

“All I want is ice water with a twist of lime,” Dany said.

“You aren't hungry?”

How could she be? The ocean of feelings churning within her left her giddy one moment and fearful the next. She hadn't eaten well since her return from Saigon, afraid to trust what she had with Gib. All week Dany had wondered when her beautiful dream would come to a shattered end. She rallied and smiled. “No. But you go ahead and eat if you're hungry.”

“I am,” Gib lied, and ordered a full-course Vietnamese meal, figuring that despite Dany's refusal to order, she would share it with him. How was she going to take the news of him going away? He'd never felt such fear as he did now. After the waiter had delivered Dany's drink, Gib devoted his full attention to her once again.

“How are things at the plantation?”

“Quiet, so far.” She frowned. “I'm so jumpy, Gib. I don't know which is bothering me worse—waiting for word from the French embassy about my house or fear that Binh Duc will find out I'm seeing an American marine. Or,” she added more softly, “worry about you getting shot at or injured....”

“I'm the last person you ought to worry about,” Gib soothed. He stroked her hand and noticed several small cuts on her fingers. “What have you been doing lately? Your hands look like they've taken a beating.”

With a laugh, Dany said, “We're clearing a ten-acre parcel in order to plant a new generation of rubber trees. I should wear my gloves all the time, but I don't.”

His admiration for her never ceased. Dany was one of the hardest-working people he'd ever encountered. “You getting enough sleep?”

Touched by his concern, Dany nodded. “I wake up a lot, but it's not due to nightmares.”

He grinned. “By any chance are you sharing the same torrid dreams I'm having?”

She flushed and refused to meet his dancing eyes. “Gib Ramsey, you ought to be ashamed of yourself!”

With a hearty laugh, he eyed Dany's disgruntled expression. “Honey, no man in his right mind could stop dreaming about you after what we shared in Saigon. It was intense.”

His words vibrated through her, made her yearn to be in his arms with no restaurant table between them. Always afraid that someone would overhear, Dany kept her voice down. “It was wonderful.”

Not wanting to make her uncomfortable, Gib changed topics. “So you went shopping for Vinh? How's his drawing coming along?”

Dany brightened. She pulled her hand from Gib's and searched in her purse. “Our homeopathic doctor has been giving him several remedies that have eased his pain, to the point where he's no longer on pain-killing medication.” Dany wrinkled her nose. “I hate drugs! These are all natural remedies, in very small doses. It's very safe and effective. Vinh is coming along wonderfully as a result.”

She smiled. “You must see these, Gib. Vinh didn't know I was coming to see you. In fact, no one knows where I am except for Ma Ling.” Dany took out a thick roll captured with several rubber bands and handed it to Gib.

“Great,” he murmured, taking the roll. Unwrapping the drawings, Gib looked at each one carefully.

Dany sat back sipping her ice water and watching the expression change on Gib's hard features. Today he was dressed in civilian clothes, a short-sleeved green shirt and jeans, with a pair of sneakers. She couldn't get enough of him, of absorbing his features, the nuances of his delight, into her heart and mind. “Well? What do you think?”

Gib whistled softly as he rolled the drawings back up. “The boy is really something, isn't he?”

“I think so. Ma Ling's so surprised at his progress, Gib. She was afraid Vinh would become depressed and never want to draw again, but I think that day you came to the hospital and helped him made all the difference in the world.”

Gib wished he had magical abilities to successfully change Dany's distrust of their future. “I'm just glad I could be there for him. He's a bright kid and deserves a crack at the world.”

Taking the roll from Gib, Dany placed it back in her purse. “Vinh asks about you all the time. He wants to know when he can get another helicopter ride—one that he remembers.”

Gib sipped his beer and tried to steady his pounding heart. It was pounding because of fear—fear of losing Dany when he revealed his news. “I'm afraid I won't be able to give him that promised ride for a while.”

Dany's heart plunged. She saw darkness in Gib's hazel eyes. “Oh?” Fear shattered through her, and she realized she didn't even know when Gib's tour was up.

Playing absently with the beaded glass of beer, Gib shrugged. “Yesterday Colonel Parsons called me into the office. I've got to take a section of my squadron and go up to Hue for a while.” He saw her face go pale. “It's only for two months, Dany.”
Two damn, long, lousy months without her.
Sometimes Gib hated the fickle and insensitive military machine.

“Two months?” she whispered.

“Yeah. I'm sorry, honey. I tried to argue my way out of it, but it was no go. We're starting to get more marines in the Hue area, and there's more VC activity as a result. They need a helicopter squadron up there to defend them sometimes.”

Icy silence fell between them. Nervously, Dany touched her cheek. “I never asked you when your tour is up, Gib.”

Fear jabbed at him. He saw Dany's reason for asking and knew immediately that she was counting the days she had with him before he left for home—without her. Frustration ate at him, leaving a raw feeling in his chest where his heart lay. “I've got five months,” he rasped.

That left three months. Dany had three months with Gib. It felt as if someone had stabbed her in the heart with a knife. “I see.”

He reached out and captured her hand. “Dany, I—”

“How dangerous will it be for you up there?” she interrupted. Dany didn't want another discussion like the one they'd had in Saigon the morning they'd left. Right now every minute was precious. She didn't want to waste time on idle philosophical arguments about the present, past and future. She knew exactly what her future was going to be, and she didn't even want to broach the topic with Gib.

Disgruntled, Gib murmured, “Not very dangerous at all. Mostly, we'll be a shuttle service, taking supplies to the forward fire bases planned around Hue and up at the demilitarized zone north of them. It's plain dull, if you want the truth.”

“But safe?”

“Yeah, a lot safer than flying missions around here,” he said unhappily. He tried to smile to ease the pain he saw in her eyes. “Cheer up, honey, I'll be safe and bored to death.”

A sliver of relief took away some of her initial fear. Dany gripped his hand, remembering heatedly how his fingers had caressed her, made her come to life and understand what living, loving, was all about. “I'm glad.”

“I'll try and call you from time to time. Is that okay?”

“Sure.” She shrugged. “I don't think Binh Duc can listen to our phone calls, so I feel relatively safe about that.”

“Good.” He gently turned her hand over in his, studying the slender length of her fingers. “I'm a lousy letter writer,” he warned, “so I came up with what I think is a good idea.”

Feeling abandoned once more, Dany couldn't hide her disappointment. She tried to pretend that Gib's leaving for two months didn't matter that much. But it did. “What idea is that?”

Gib glanced at his watch. “My sister, Tess, the one I told you is a U.S. AID advisor, is going to join us for dinner.” Desperation leaked into his voice. “I want you two to meet each other. I feel that right now you can use a woman friend. Tess has been in country for nearly two years, and she shares the same love of Vietnam as you do.” He saw a glimmer of hope burning in Dany's eyes. Maybe she didn't think he was forsaking her after all. He prayed not.

“I think it would be good for you to meet another member of my family,” he went on. And then he smiled sourly. “I'm sure Tess will fill your ear with stories about us growing up together.”

Dany smiled a little. More of her fear abated. The anxiety in Gib's eyes convinced her that he genuinely wanted to keep their relationship alive. Why else would he ask his sister here? Warmth flowed through the coldness that had begun to inhabit her. “I'd love to meet her, Gib.”

Looking up, Gib saw Tess coming through the door of the restaurant. “Great,” he whispered, and got up to greet her.

Dany sat nervously waiting until both Ramseys sat down across from her.

“Hi,” the redheaded Tess said, extending her hand across the table.

Dany smiled tentatively and shook her long, thin hand. She noticed that Tess's nails were blunt cut just like hers, and that her hand felt rough and chapped—just like hers. More than anything, Dany liked the warmth in Tess's gray eyes.

“I'm glad to meet you,” Dany admitted.

Tess grinned and glanced over at her brother. “Well, I've got to tell you, Dany, I've heard so many good things about you that I leaped at the chance to get to meet you.”

Gib began to relax as Tess set the tenor for them. She was dressed in a short-sleeved white blouse, jeans and sneakers, and her easy smile and demeanor worked wonders on Dany before his eyes. Within five minutes, Gib felt a wonderful kind of bonding going on between Dany and his sister. Whatever it was, he was grateful.

An hour later, Tess excused herself. As she rose from the table, she grinned.

“Hey, you two deserve some time alone together. Gib's going to be leaving soon. Dany, maybe you can drop by Cam Na during the day and see me? I can offer you a mean cup of tea.”

With a laugh, Dany nodded. “I'd love to. As a matter of fact, I was going to run some clothing over to the Catholic Orphanage not far from there next week.”

“Make it Wednesday and I'll have you over for tea. That's the day I'm generally at Cam Na.”

“Deal,” Dany agreed warmly.

Tess leaned down and gave her brother a peck on the cheek. “And
you,
” she warned sternly, “be careful up there in Hue. It's new territory, and you don't know the lay of the land.”

With a grimace, Gib nodded. “I've got two whole lousy months to find out about the lay of the land, baby sis. And,” he added, “I'll be careful.”

“You'd better be.” Tess raised her hand. “See you two later!”

Gib returned his attention to Dany after Tess had left. If he read her expression accurately, she appeared relieved. He captured her hands.

“Well? Does having Tess around make you feel a little better about me leaving?”

She nodded.

“She can't
replace
me,” Gib teased.

“No,” Dany laughed, “she can't. But I like her, Gib. You're amazingly alike in many ways.”

“Yeah,” he murmured, stroking her hand gently. “There's an old saying: `You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy.'”

“The land runs strong and true in both of you,” Dany agreed softly, her flesh tingling wildly where he lightly stroked her wrist.

“Our loyalty to those people that are a part of us does, too,” he warned her gravely.

Dany dropped her gaze. “I—I'm sorry, Gib. It's just that when you said you were leaving, it started this whole process inside me.”

Softly he answered, “I know, honey.” He ached to make slow, delicious love to her. He ached to take away her fear of abandonment, which was a platform and reason for all her negative reactions to him. “It's tough to trust when you've never had anyone but yourself to rely on. I understand that.”

Dany lifted her head and melted beneath his hazel gaze. “I feel rotten for even thinking it of you.”

“I expect it, Dany.” He raised her hand and kissed it, and her eyes took on a look of languor. “No one said that once you're committed to a serious relationship with another person, it's easy street after that.”

She sighed. “Especially in wartime.” How badly she wanted to believe that Gib meant forever and not just the next five months. Dany strived to set aside the pain she knew would destroy her when Gib left. She loved him too fiercely, too much for her own good, but she was helpless to fight it. She didn't want it any longer.

Gib looked into her sad green eyes. “Listen,” he began in a low, thick tone, “I want to say goodbye to you before I leave for Hue, Dany.” His hands tightened around hers. “I want to love you, to hold you. I want a few minutes of sanity in your arms. I need you.” Gib had no idea how Dany would react to his invitation. They couldn't go to her place, to her bedroom. And there was certainly no place at his base. He saw her flush scarlet and realized that what he was suggesting embarrassed her. She had been raised with very high moral standards, and he knew he was asking her to throw them away to spend an hour or two with him in some hotel in Da Nang. It was beneath Dany. She deserved better. They both did. But war had a way of skewing everyone's values. He saw the hesitancy mixed with longing in her eyes.

Gib plunged on, his tone a barely audible rasp. “There's a nice hotel not far from here. Good, clean rooms, and it's quiet. There won't be any military police raids or anything.” He looked away for a moment. “Damn it, Dany, I don't like it this way. I wish we were home, back in the States. I could take you to dinner, to a movie. We could go for a walk and hold hands, do the more natural things at a slower pace.”