Ricochet (79 page)

and find distractions so he didn't have to deal with

it. Now it was time to face up to that pain and

really feel it.

Matt's deception had hurt him, but that wasn't

reason enough to punish him. If he punished his

sub, then it couldn't just be right for Matt - it had to

be right for him too. If he couldn't feel the honesty

of it and believe in it, then it would show, and

neither he nor Matt would get anything out of it

except more pain and heartache.

Rick gazed out over the world below,

searching for the dom inside, trying to hear his

voice. He'd spent so many years ignoring that

dom's needs that he wasn't sure what they were.

Who was he, really? And what kind of a dom

did he want to be?

Finally, he got off the rock he was perched

on, squared his shoulders, and walked back to his

Harley.

It was time to find out.

Rick was gone for hours. Matt tried to lose

himself in his yoga practice, in lining up his shoes

in the shoe-rack in the closet, and in all his usual

ways of coping, but he felt like he was on a knife's

edge the whole time.

Late in the afternoon he heard the Harley

draw up outside, and he went to stand in the living

room, bracing himself for whatever was going to

happen next.

"Hey," Rick said, unbuckling his helmet as he

entered the room.

"Hey," Matt said quietly.

"Sorry I was gone such a long time. I met

Karl for a coffee and then I went for a drive in the

hills. I needed to think." Rick placed his helmet on

the coffee table.

"Karl?" Matt said, startled. "What did he

say?"

Rick grunted. "Oh, he agreed with you."

Matt gave a little grin. "Somehow, I'm not

surprised."

"Yeah. Figures. Anyway, I listened to the

message you left on my voicemail." Rick held up

his cell phone. "Thanks for that, Matty. It means a

lot to me that you were going to come clean with

me, no matter what the consequences, and that you

trusted me enough to tell me you'd lied, especially

about something this important. You didn't try to

hide it." He came to stand in front of Matt, gazing

at him intently. Matt stood his ground, forcing

himself to hold his dom's gaze. "Because it was a

big lie, and it did hurt."

Matt flinched but he nodded, accepting that.

At least Rick was finally being honest.

"I had to let myself have a reaction to that,

instead of shoving it away and pretending it didn't

matter, the way I always do with the bad stuff."

"I knew you were hurting about it," Matt said

quietly.

"I was, and that's why that voicemail message

was so important to me, Matt. I'm glad you left it

because otherwise I don't think I'd be able to bring

myself to do this."

Rick picked up the small armchair in the

corner of the room and placed it in the center. Then

he slowly unbuckled his belt. Matt watched,

scarcely able to breathe, as Rick placed the belt on

the chair.

"Undress, Matt. Take off all your clothes and

present yourself to me naked for punishment," he

instructed.

"Are you sure about this, Rick?" Matt asked

anxiously.

"I gave you an order, Matt, and I expect you

to follow it," Rick said in a low, strong tone, and

Matt gazed at him in shock, surprised by the

change in his dom. He didn't look hesitant or as if

this was something he was unwilling to do. He

looked calm, in control, and every inch the stern

dom. "Now, submissive!" Rick barked, and that

jerked Matt out of his haze.

He quickly undressed, as instructed. He

folded his clothes neatly, put them on the coffee

table, and then lowered his head and presented

himself to his dom without any kind of artifice,

pretense, or attitude. He was what he was - a

naked, penitent sub giving himself up to his dom's

discipline.

Rick put a finger under his chin and tipped his

face up, and then he dropped a little kiss on Matt's

mouth. Matt put his hands on Rick's hips, hanging

on greedily, wishing they could stay this way

forever instead of going forward into the

inevitable. Rick gave him a second and then he

drew back.

"I'm going to punish you," he said firmly. "I

won't go easy on you, so you need to prepare for

that."

"Yes, sir," Matt whispered, his heart skipping

a beat. He looked at Rick, searching for any sign of

the big goofball he'd grown to know and love, but

he only saw a strong, determined dom looking

back at him from calm, green eyes.

"Bend over the back of the chair, Matt," Rick

commanded, and Matt scrambled to do as he was

told.

The upholstered back of the chair was soft

under his thighs, and it was shallow enough that he

could rest his hands on the arms of the chair,

keeping himself upright. He could feel himself

shaking, and he was glad he had the chair to hold

onto, for support.

"Now, take a moment to think about why

you're here and what will happen next. I'll be in

soon to punish you," Rick said, and then he left the

room.

Matt hadn't expected that. He took a deep

breath and tried to calm himself. Rick's belt was

curled on the chair in front of him, focusing his

mind on what would happen next, as was the

intention. He wondered how that thick leather belt

would feel on his ass. He'd taken Rule's cane - it

surely couldn't be that bad? Yet he knew it would

be worse, much worse, because this punishment

would be delivered by a dom he loved.

It was hard to hold himself there, without

getting up and walking away. He was naked, bent

over a chair, and being forced to look at the

implement that would soon crack down on his

exposed ass. He'd been punished by doms before,

but it had never felt like this. He couldn't think

about anything except his own vulnerability and his

fears about what would happen next. His stomach

was flipping nervously, and although he felt like he

couldn't stand it for another second, he forced

himself not to move. He had asked for this

punishment and there was no doubt in his mind that

he deserved it.

He heard the door opening, and the sound of

Rick's footsteps behind him, and his shaking

increased exponentially, not from fear of

punishment but from the intensity of the moment.

Rick placed a firm, warm hand on his back.

"Calm down, Matty. It's a punishment, not torture,"

he said softly. "It'll be tough, but I'll never, ever

give you more than you can handle."

Matt allowed the feeling of Rick's warm hand

on his back to soothe him, and the tremors slowly

died away.

"Good boy. Now, what's your safeword?"

Matt glanced up in surprise. "My safeword? I

mean… you're going to let me keep it? For a

punishment?"

"You always get to keep your safeword,"

Rick said firmly. "I expect you to use it if you're in

real difficulty. I will still make you take the full

punishment - it's not a way out. It's just that we'll

take a breather and talk about it; maybe space the

punishment out more, over hours or days if need

be."

Matt nodded thoughtfully. He had no intention

of saying his safeword just because the punishment

was hard to take. He'd only do it if he was

struggling to breathe, or some other severe

difficulty arose. He knew Rick would be

disappointed in him if he abused the trust between

them by safewording out just because it was hard;

it wasn't supposed to be easy, after all. Rick was

stepping up to make this right between them, and

Matt had to do the same.

"You haven't answered my question. What's

your safeword?"

"Ricochet," Matt said immediately.

"Good." Rick tapped his head. "Head back

down please."

Matt immediately complied, lowering his

head so his face was pressed against the chair's

cushion.

Rick's hand came into his field of vision. He

picked up the belt and folded it over slowly, and

Matt tensed in anticipation.

Rick placed his hand on Matt's back again,

and there was a long pause. Matt started to count

the seconds in his head, and Rick tapped his finger

against Matt's temple.

"No counting, Matt. Concentrate on the

punishment, not the counting. The counting is a

distraction, and I want you to be fully in the

moment and really feel this. No distractions.

Nothing to make it easier."

"Yes sir," Matt whispered. Rick was right; he

had to take this without falling back on any of his

coping mechanisms. He owed his dom that.

A second later he heard the sound of the belt

whizzing through the air, and then a sharp smack as

it landed on his ass.

He took a deep breath as the pain kicked in,

but it left his lungs forcefully as the second swat

landed on his ass. Rick was as dominant and

unyielding as Matt needed him to be, and he didn't

let up as he cracked the belt down again. Matt

didn't count. He didn't even count the strokes. He

concentrated on really feeling the punishment his

dom was handing out.

It hurt. Each well timed stroke landed with

expert precision on his ass, and he could tell Rick

was laying on the stripes one beneath the other, in

an even pattern, before returning to the top and

starting all over again.

The second round of stripes hurt even more

than the first, landing on already tender flesh, and

Matt couldn't stop himself crying out. Rick didn't

falter at the sound of his cries - he continued

methodically with the punishment, landing each

stroke as hard as the last.

The pain welled up, intensifying with each

crack of the belt on his exposed bottom. He was

sobbing now, holding on so tightly to the arms of

the chair that his knuckles had turned white.

Subs often spoke of the catharsis of

punishment, but Matt had never felt it before. He'd

never felt anything but pain, humiliation, and

resentment when Emily and Rule had punished

him.

This time, his emotions were very different.

He accepted his dom's right to punish him, and his

own right to be punished. He trusted that Rick

would never punish him when he was angry, or

abuse the right to discipline him.

It hurt more than anything he'd ever

experienced before but that very same pain

relieved the ache inside, and for the first time he

genuinely experienced a sense of catharsis.

He embraced the pain, welcoming it in, and

forced himself to stay in place for his dom and take

what he was handing out. He never once attempted

to stand, or argue his way out of it, or to put back a

hand to deflect the swats.

Rick kept his hand on Matt's back the entire

time, creating a connection between them and

keeping him grounded and supported throughout. It

was that connection, in the end, that enabled Matt

to endure the punishment. If Rick was willing to

stand with him in this, and see him through it, then

Matt was willing to do the same; that hand was his

anchor.

He was crying in earnest now, great,

wracking sobs that seemed to have been wrenched

from the depths of his soul. There were tears

streaming down his cheeks, but he forced himself

to stay in position and accept the punishment.

Acceptance.

Something

inside

him

broke

as

he

experienced a new level of submission, one he'd

never even known existed. All his life, he'd been

so worried letting people down, of getting things

wrong and being disappointing. Now he could see

that he put all that pressure on himself. This

punishment couldn't cleanse him or absolve him; it

simply enabled him to see himself more clearly

and in doing that he was able to let go of his

anxiety. He was a sub, and he had a dom who