Revelation: A Contemporary Erotic Romance (Iris Series) (26 page)

She tried not to let her eyes glaze over at how good his mouth felt, let alone his words.  Once again, she castigated herself for staying with Scott for as long as she had.  Her mind drifted back to the man sitting before her.  Was it possible for him to ever be a one woman man?  How incredible would it be for her to be that woman?  She let go of a sigh.

“Wow.  What was that for?” he asked, finally releasing her hand and putting it back on the table.

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”  His eyes were twinkling, but he got serious.  “Do you think there will ever be a day when you’ll be completely honest with me?”

She blinked.  “Whattaya mean?”

“I
mean
I don’t get the feeling that you’ll ever give me a straight answer if I was to ask you about how you really felt about me or this situation.”

“I’m honest,” she said with a slight pout.  “It’s just that some of us don’t let it all hang out like others,” she said giving him a pointed look.

“I know.”  He waited until he had her undivided attention.  “I can tell you were hurt at one point.”

“Are we entering into the ‘analy
zation’ portion of the evening?”

“This is what I’m talking about.  You don’t believe that I can be trusted with your shit and your baggage.  But I can.  I genuinely like you, Em.  I mean,” he began, looking her in the eye, “I really like you.  I would never say or do anything to intentionally hurt you.”

She looked at him, hit with an emotion that she couldn’t name and tamped it down. 
He’s not Scott, Emily.

“We all have shit,” he continued.  “I just want us to be honest about it.  And if we’re ever gonna move forward in this thing, I’d love to know what you really feel about things.”

Shit, move forward? 
“I’m honest,” she said again.

“Okay.  How do you feel about our situation?”  He sat back and waited.

She looked around then finally settled her eyes on him.

“I’m happy with it,” she said with hesitation.

He nodded.  “That’s good.  I want you happy.”

She swallowed.  When had this gotten so friggin’ serious?

“What if there was more?” he asked in a quiet voice.

She frowned, trying not to read into the question.  Her heart began to beat erratically.  “Meaning?”

Just then their food arrived.  Once the waiter was gone they took a couple of minutes to eat and comment on the food.  Then he continued.

“I mean, regular sleepovers, seeing each other more.  You know, a more complete relationship not just based on sex.”  He took another bite of his noodles and watched her.

He was always so fucking calm when he talked about this kind of stuff.  Why couldn’t she be the same way?  Was he asking because he wanted it, or he thought she wanted it?  She put her fork down and got her head on straight.

“Why are you asking?” 

He shook his head.  “You answer first.”

“What am I supposed to be answering?  Was there a question in there?”  She was beginning to feel trapped.

He smiled around his food.  “What if there was more?” he asked again more forcefully, then swallowed his food and put his fork down as well.  “You, me,
more
.”

She looked around not making eye contact with him. 
Don’t get your hopes up.  He’s not a one woman man.  He’ll only make a fool of you in the end.  Unintentionally, maybe, but a fool none the less.
  She finally turned to him, now in control.

“I don’t think that’s something that you’re ready for, Detective.”

He stopped and just looked at her, his face completely expressionless.  Then he nodded and said, “Don’t put words in my mouth, Em.  And if you’re not ready to talk about it yet, then that’s fine.  But you should think about it, and think about the fact that
I
was the one who brought it up.”  He pointed his fork at her to punctuate his statement then began eating again.

She’d lost her appetite.

“Eat,” he ordered.  “You’ll need your energy.”  Then he winked to soften his command.

She was being completely unreasonable and bitchy, and she knew it was because her emotions were all out of whack.  She had perpetual PMS around him.  That’s what this man did to her.  She sighed and took a bite of her food.

She was supposed to get her period in the coming week.  Maybe that was it.

“What am I gonna need energy for?”

“All kinds of activities,” he said licking his lips.

She cocked her head and really looked at him.  He raised an eyebrow in question.

“You’re a very optimistic person, you know that?”

He laughed.  “I hope that’s not your way of telling me I’m unrealistically optimistic about said activities for the evening.”

She smiled.  “How does an NYPD detective stay so positive when he regularly sees all of the yuck in this world?”

He shrugged.  “I told myself when I started this gig that if I ever got to the point where I forgot about the good that can be found in this world, it was time to hang up my gun, so to speak.  People are generally good.  The world is generally good and offers lots of opportunities.  We just need to grab them.  I’m not always thrilled with the job, but when I can solve a crime and put someone behind bars, and help a victim get closure, I feel good about what I’ve done.” 

He continued eating, allowing her some time to process his answer.  She wished she could be free like that, not allow herself to be so cynical about people’s motives.

“I try to balance out my work life with fun in my personal life.  Read, play the guitar, spar with beautiful gorgeous counselors, that kind of thing.”  He wiped his mouth and put his napkin down perusing her face with his eyes.  “Delicious,” he murmured.  “The food was good too,” he said wiggling his eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head while a smile played on her lips.

“Holy shit.  You didn’t call me a dork.  We’re making progress here, Emily.”

“Where are we going for dancing?”

He named a well-known club.

“That’s a nice place.  The girls and I went there a few weeks ago.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded then laughed as she said, “We were celebrating Ayanna’s successful completion of her 40 day fast.”  She took another bite of food.

“Ah yes, the sex fast.  Jonathan told me about it.”

“He did?” she asked in surprise.

“You’d be amazed what men share while bonding over a game of basketball.”  He gave her a look that made her squirm in her chair.

“What else did you two share?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

She would, but she’d never tell him that.

“Nope,” she shrugged, cool as a peppermint pattie.

He let his tongue flick out to touch his lower lip.  “You mean you wouldn’t like to know that we talked about you?”

“You did not.”

He gave her a look that said
oh well
, and shrugged.

“Uh, huh.  And what did you talk about?”

“Nope.  You said you didn’t wanna know.”  He was enjoying toying with her and put up his hand to get the waiter’s attention.  “Do you want some dessert?  Coffee?  More wine?”

She shook her head, disgruntled.  She would just get it out of Jonathan.  She had her ways.

The bill was delivered, he paid it, and then he took her hand to lead her to the door.  Once they were in a cab, he hauled her up next to him, warming her by running his hand up and down her arm while she was smashed to his side.  As much as she wanted to be pissed at him, she wanted to be next to him even more.  Hell, she wanted to be next to him, on top of him, underneath him, she’d take just being in the same vicinity with him.

Jerk.

They didn’t talk on the cab ride.  He simply held her, played with her hair, lulled her into a sense of complacency.  They pulled up outside the club where they were immediately let in and made their way to an unoccupied section of seating in the lounge area.  They ordered their drinks and sat on one of the sofas in the dim lighting, watching the gyrating bodies on the dance floor.

“Are you gonna talk to me at all for the rest of the night?” he said once their drinks arrived. 

She gave him a surprised look.  “I didn’t realize I was ignoring you.” 

“You’ve been quiet since dinner.”  His leg was pressed next to hers and his arm was on the back of the sofa behind her.

“So have you,” she pointed out.

He smiled.  “I was giving you time to cool down.”

“Oh?  And why do I need to cool down?”

“Because you’re pissed,” he said, taking a sip of his drink.  She did the same before replying.

“Being pissed would imply that I care about whatever it is you think I’m pissed about.  And I don’t.”

“Ouch.”

You are such a bitch, Em.

“So, you’re not pissed that I talked to Jonathan about you?”  A smile was on his lips and his eyes were twinkling.

She glared at him.  “If you’re not going to tell me what you talked about then you shouldn’t bring it up.”

“Well, let’s put it this way.  What he said was definitely true,” he chuckled.

She stood abruptly.  “I’m going to the restroom.”

Before she could step around him, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her down onto his lap, tucking her neatly in his arms.

“Unless you wanna lose your balls, Detective –” she growled in a low voice.

He grabbed her hands and calmly spoke into her ear.  “I most definitely do not want to lose my balls.  I like them just where they are, attached to my body, thank you.  Now,” he said as if he was gearing up for a conversation with a five year old, “let’s get some things out of the way.”  He nuzzled her neck.  “One.  You are seriously the most cantankerous woman I’ve ever met.  Two.  I
love
the fact that you’re the most cantankerous woman I’ve ever met because I have a feeling you reserve that quality just for me.  And I’m honored,” he chuckled.  “Three,” he began then cupped her face, “I told Jonathan I was going after you, was gonna wear you down.  He gave me his blessing and wished me luck.  Then he said I would need it.  So,” he whispered, rubbing his nose with hers, “wish me luck, Em.”

He kissed her lightly on the mouth, then leaned back and looked in her eyes, waiting for her to respond.

The stiffness in her body started to relax.  She wanted him with every fiber of her being.  It scared the ever loving shit out of her. 

She licked her lips and said, “I wish I had you on the mat right now because all I wanna do at the moment is kick your ass.” 

He smiled and nibbled on her lip.  “That’s all?  You don’t wanna get down and dirty with me, too?”  He moved his mouth to her ear.  “Because I wanna get down and dirty with you.  We don’t have a mat but we have a dance floor.  Whattaya say, Em?”

The arousal had been growing all night, but his words put her over the limit.  She was ready to dance and a whole lot more.  She moved off of his lap, took her third drink of the evening and knocked it back, then gave him an inviting look and held out her hand.

He got up and followed her onto the dance floor into the mix of bodies and strobe lights.  They moved, touched, and rubbed into each other allowing the music to take over their bodies.  He stood behind her, his hands on her hips while she pressed her ass back into him, lifting her arms and reaching for his neck behind her.  His arms encircled her waist as he slipped his thigh between her legs.

He felt so good while they moved together to the music, pushing and pulling at each other, their hips bumping and grinding.  He put his mouth to her neck and bit gently. 

And so it went.  He’d kiss and tease her, then twirl her about until he’d grab her into his arms and have her laughing so hard, her sides hurt.  When C&C Music Factory’s
Gonna Make You Sweat
came on, they laughed some more trying to remember the lyrics all while caressing and dancing.  Women and men kept trying to move in on their action pressing into them, but he would easily disengage them so it was only the two of them in their own little world.

Within the hour, she was turned on beyond anything that was normal and needed another drink to get her through the rest of the time so she wouldn’t attack him in public.  He sensed it in her and led her back to the bar where they got another round of drinks.

While he stepped away to order, she felt a presence close behind her and readied herself for a potentially unwanted proposition.

“Holy shit.  I can’t believe it’s really you,” she heard in her ear.  She turned around only to stare right into the eyes of Scott Matthews, her ex-boyfriend.

She couldn’t believe her eyes.  It really was him, the absolute dick of an asshole who told her she was no warmer than a cold glass of water in the sack.  She felt like she could throw up.

“What are you doing in the City, and when did you turn into such a hot piece of ass?” he asked giving her an appreciative once over with his eyes, then caressed her hip with familiarity and leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek.  She grabbed his fingers in a tight grip and backed away.