Resurrected (34 page)

“No. I had no idea what
would happen, or what would return. I was apprehensive about it
all. It was you and Malachi that wanted this to happen. I am
pleased that it worked for your sake, but I cannot help but feel
uneasy about Deirdra being back in human form.” Eme paused,
lowering her head and then let Mylana’s gaze. “Maybe this was her
fate.”

In all the years they had
known each other, Eme had never believed in fate, destiny or faith.
Her remark surprised Mylana.

“Maybe this is her chance
at the life she wasn’t allowed the first time around. Maybe she’s
atoned for her actions as a vampire wherever she was when Adam took
her immortal life.” Eme was still unable to believe in a higher
power, a God that could be good and true. However, Mylana could
understand the dilemma that plagued Eme, for when she was mortal,
she had praised many gods. And within her immortal life she saw the
rise and fall of most of them, except for a few religions that had
been modernized. Now people argue over Christ, Buddha,
Allah…

Eme’s words were eerily
like her own thoughts.

“There is nothing we can do
to protect her,” Mylana began, her voice low and tired. “What am I
to do if we cannot find her? Do I forget about her? Try to live
without her?”

“You
already are. She no longer has that link with you, nor you with
her. You act this way because you realize this and that alone is
what frightens you more than losing her to the mortal realm
altogether. You already have lost her. She is no longer ours,” Eme
said while turning away from Mylana as she made her way to the
stairs. There was nothing else Eme desired to say and nothing
Mylana wanted to hear. It had all been said and Mylana could tell
Eme figured it was time to move on. Mylana knew this, but her heart
still broke. She knew that everything Eme had said was true.
Deirdra was of the mortal realm now and not meant to be with them
any longer. She could never live with them as Stone had. There was
too much of a past between all of them for such an
endeavour
.

It was well past dusk
before Stone then Elijah, followed by Malachi, Brian and finally
Brenna made their way to the living quarters where they found
Mylana sitting eerily still. Appearing statue-like, she ignored
them all. Eme had retreated to the library, needing to get away
from Mylana’s anguish.

It was Brian who finally
broke the unnerving silence.

“Where is Deirdra?” he
asked turning his gaze on Mylana. He had been unsure whether the
decision to stay the day at Chantonnay was the right one. But
wanting to see Deirdra as soon as possible, he knew staying there
would be the easiest. Waiting for an answer, his mind wandered,
recalling the sound of Deirdra’s heart beating softly as it had
lulled him into slumber. With hidden glee, he had accepted the room
next to Deirdra’s. It had been two hundred years since he had been
this close to her for such a length of time. He couldn’t help but
smile as he recalled his dream. While in slumber, his mind couldn’t
help but create delusions of grandeur with Deirdra at his side. He
imagined living happily ever demented together and to him it was a
picture perfect eternity.

“She’s not here,” Brenna
answered. Brian’s grin faded.

“What do you mean, not
here?”

Brenna looked at Mylana but
her gaze did not meet with hers. She spoke to her silently. Brian
knew this and waited for Brenna’s response aloud.

“We don’t know where she
went. She was just gone when we woke.” Brenna answered, avoiding
eye contact with him.

“Well then, I’m going to
find her.” Brian declared and stormed out of the room and into the
foyer.

“Brian!”
Stone hollered as he opened the door. “How the hell do you think
you’re gonna find her?” Stone added. He hoped his reasoning would
convince him to stay. Brian stood in the doorway with the cold wind
brushing past him and into the foyer. Brian’s
demeanour
was contemplative as he stood there
pondering.

“I’m hoping for dumb luck,
Stone. Plain ol’ dumb luck,” Brian said before turning his back on
them and walking out the front door.

“Wait!” Stone called out
and quickly made his way through the foyer and out onto the outside
steps.

“Wait,” Stone said again
and Brian turned to look up at him. Stone didn’t know what would be
the right thing to say and was left speechless. All he could do was
look imploringly into his eyes.

“Look,
they aren’t my family. I have no reason to stay here with them. I’m
a loner; I like it that way. Besides, they make me uncomfortable.
You can come with, if you wish, but I am
not
staying here. I have to at least
try to find her.”

Stone knew he was adamant.
He quickly looked at the others then returned his attention to
Brian.

“Let’s go,” Stone said in a
soft voice. He could not help but feel that being in Brian’s
company was more satisfying then with the others and he would do
anything not to be in the same room with Malachi. His aura still
made Stone feel uncomfortable.

No one said anything to
stop him as Stone followed behind Brian, and no one asked him to
stay. Brenna was the only one who showed any concern that he was
leaving. He could tell by her expression that she wanted him to
stay with her. Stone knew that she was the only one of the group
that wanted, or needed his company. But Stone’s alliance was still
to Brian despite the fact that his feelings toward Brenna were
warming. He couldn’t help but feel bad for her.

They had been walking for
about an hour and a half. Stone’s patience had grown thin and he
was now agitated with Brian for not wanting to take any of their
vehicles. Brian had insisted on walking.

“It will not kill me, nor
will it kill you.” He said with a smirk that Stone wished to smack
off his face, but he let it slide. Now that they were in an area of
the city that was lit for the festive season, the décor and lights
distracted him and he marveled at their beauty.

But sooner rather than
later, Stone became irritated by the cold. Unable to hold back his
annoyance, he voiced his snarky comment.

“Can’t we at least hail a
cab now?” He was hungry, his stomach empty and since he had not fed
yet the cold was becoming bothersome.

Coming to a sudden halt,
Stone bumped hard into Brian. Having been distracted by the
decorations and lights Stone never noticed that Brian had stopped
his fast paced walk.

“Fine, I want to go home.”
Brian said disheartened.

Stone could hear the
disappointment in his voice. He knew Brian finally admitted to
himself that he would not be finding Deirdra with any kind of
luck.

Looking at Stone, Brian
could tell that he was thirsty. He needed to feed and if they
headed to the old hospital, there would be no one there for him to
ease the hunger. Thinking for a moment, Brian quickly hatched a
plan.

“We’ll hail a cab and I’ll
leave you to deal with the cabby,” Brian said casually.

Stone nodded in agreement.
His hunger alone pushed back any remaining human nature that could
cause him to feel any kind of guilt. Fully and completely he
allowed his new nature to rule. He allowed his desire and hunger
for blood to rule.

As they strolled, waiting
for a cab to come by, Stone could not help but wonder why Brian
wasn’t going to feed also. He wondered if it was Brian’s age that
gave him the power to not give in to his hunger. Or was it Brian
punishing himself for not being able to find Deirdra? Knowing
Brian, Stone felt the latter of the choices was more so the
reasoning.

Once in the cab, the drive
to the run-down asylum seemed endless to Stone. His nerves were
frayed and his patience had grown dangerously thin. The scent of
the driver was becoming too intense, and the rhythmic beat of her
heart pounded in his ears like tympani. It took all his will power
to control his hunger. Inevitably his bloodlust became all
consuming and he could not control his thirst any
longer.

“Pull over.” Stone said,
his voice shaking. His eyes met hers in the rear view
mirror.

“You are
alright,
Monsieur
? Not going to be sick
in
the
voiture
?” she asked in her broken English.
She was in her mid to late forties, pictures of her two daughters
plastered all over the dash along with other nostalgic
knick-knacks. Stone knew the instant that he crawled his way into
the cab and saw her family proudly displayed that she would be
painfully missed if he could not stop himself. Nonetheless, he knew
that he should not stop either. He already realized that if he was
able to leave her alive, she would be too weak to drive. Thus in
turn, it would allow her to call for help. If she sent for help,
they would find the abandoned asylum that was not so much
abandoned. For his and Brian’s security, he knew that the kindly
woman driver would be working her last shift.

Finished working out the
details in his mind, all he cared about was her blood. He was
driven by his desire to have her blood course through his veins, to
warm him, to ease his thirst and to appease the hunger…

“No, I am not alright. I
need you–pull over,” Stone said near breathlessly. As she did, he
could see her conflicting emotions of compassion for the ‘ill’ man
but also her leeriness to be alone on the dark road with unknown
men. In spite of this, her compassion overruled her common sense,
turning into a victory for Stone.

Brian watched from the
backseat of the car as Stone fed on the woman. It was a deadly
dance: erotic and pleasing to watch the two together in such an
intimate embrace. As he observed them, he was unable to block out
the sudden bombarding yet pleasant hallucination of Deirdra who sat
where Stone had, only moments earlier.

“That was us once, locked
in that deadly embrace. I gave you my immortal kiss and you could
not accept that. You could not accept me,” his illusionary Deirdra
said, her voice tender. She turned to look at Brian raising her
hand to caress his face, but no connection was made. No gentle
touch to complete the simple joy of her.

“I was afraid. I didn’t
know what I do now. If I only had the chance!” Brian’s voice exuded
his desperation, his longing, but also the realization that none of
it was real.

“Maybe my immortal life
would have been less painful if you were there with me,” his
hallucination continued, “but maybe it would have been more
torturous with you in it. Maybe knowing that I left you mortal was
my saving grace.”

Brian’s red-tainted tears
fell freely, unable to hold back his pent-up sorrow of over two
hundred years of both mortal and immortal years of pain.

Burying his head in his
hands, he cried out softly, “Get out of my head, get out! Leave me
be. Leave me ALONE!”

“Brian?” Stone asked
quietly as he turned to face him. Stone had climbed into the
driver’s seat, unknown to Brian. A look of shock twisted his
features and slowly eroded the grief from him. With one word he
directed Stone to drive.

Watching the young
fledgling drive the rest of the way to the old hospital, Brian
could not help but to be in awe. He was everything he secretly
wished he could have been, rather than this raving lunatic. He
admired his gracefulness, and his ability to adjust to his new
nature with ease. Brian knew Stone had his issues but they seemed
minimal, easy to manipulate and more bearable. With Stone
witnessing Brian having a psychotic episode, he was surprised that
he didn’t feel ultimate embarrassment at his exposed weakness. He
felt accepted by him and he had never been so close to another
vampire–not even his own sire.

Once at the hospital, they
made their way to the common room, and Brian sprawled across the
covered loveseat. Stone sat down in one of the empty wooden chairs.
They sat quietly until it became uncomfortable.

Sitting in the dark, save
for one candle burning, Brian chatted softly but intently on the
delights of classical music. Having been to an actual performance
of Beethoven, he relished in his memories of the recital. He was
delighted and grateful that his crazy mind could still delight in
such a small thing.

Finally,
Stone felt tired and wanted to retire to what he felt was his room.
His mind had been processing so many things and it had finally
affected his body. It would be at least six hours until the sun
would rise, but Stone wanted to
savour
his alone
time. He knew he could only experience this level of privacy at the
hospital. Never would he feel as relaxed at La Maison
Chantonnay.

Not long after, Brian also
went to his room, taking the candle with him and placing it on his
writing desk. Sitting upon the creaky desk chair, he pulled out an
old leather bound book and opened it to an empty page. Still having
the need to write with quill and ink, he dipped the tip into the
inkwell and began to write, emptying his mind onto the blank pages.
He had been keeping journals ever since he left his maker and
wherever he went, his written mind went with him. Three bookshelves
and two trunks were filled with antique journals filled with his
writing.