“You will have to feed
tomorrow night.” Brian said his voice oddly cold. Stone gave him a
perturbed look.
“But…” Stone began, but was
quick to stop. I knew what he was thinking. Why couldn’t Stone give
me his blood like Brian had for him? But Stone kept his thoughts to
himself and figured that if he did, it would make him too weak. At
the thought of having me feed from him, he flushed. His desire was
in full bloom and he averted his eyes from me.
“When I sleep it will not
matter,” I began, rising from the bed. “Where do you want me to
sleep?” I asked, looking at Brian. Before he could answer, Stone
bid his farewell and headed out to his own room.
Brian stayed silent for
some time before speaking. His words expressed his uncertainty.
“Can you stay here, with me?”
A grin graced my lips.
“Yes, I can stay with you.”
Brian was the first to
climb into the bed after drawing the curtains. After slipping out
of the coat he had given me earlier, I removed the torn sweater and
tossed it aside. Sliding next to him, his body immediately curled
around me and draped his arm over my shoulder.
As I fell into slumber, I
knew this was the closest he had been to anyone since he was
mortal–it had been me then as it was now. I could not help but feel
safe in his arms.
Chapter 26
(Deirdra – December 27,
1999)
Not having to wake in a
coffin like I had over two centuries ago, it wasn’t frightening. I
was able ease into this new transformation without scarring my
psyche. I never realized until then how waking in a coffin had
affected me. In spite of this, no matter how delightful my rousing
in an actual bed was, the dreams I experienced while in slumber
gradually came over me.
Within my
dream I had confronted Adam. I stood before him, my body straight
and rigid and I let him know that he no longer had any power over
me.
I
was the one
in control of my life, even if it were an unnatural
one.
“It seems I’m the one to
have the last laugh, isn’t it? You may have fooled me, with your
cat and mouse game, but despite everything you have done to me, I’m
still here. I am no longer your puppet; I have cut the strings and
I am free.” As I made my declaration, he began to appear misty,
like fog surrounded him. By the time I finished, he was transparent
and faded into nothing. It felt as though he never existed at all.
I was mentally free of any bonds he had on me.
Standing alone in my dream,
I could not help but feel empowered. I knew I would never fear him
again. Either way, I took it for what it was: there is nothing I
can do to change my fate, for I did believe this was fate. All of
this couldn’t have been accidental. There had to be a meaning to it
all. Though I could not clearly comprehend it, I would be patient
and wait.
Jolting me from my
recollection, my hunger began to tear at my insides causing me to
sit upright in bed. My thirst was on the verge of unbearable. This
was something very different from the first time. I looked to where
Brian had been the night before, but he was gone.
“Brian?” I called out to
the air, rising on my unsteady feet. The one thing I had noticed
above all else was that the vibrating had stopped and I could feel
tiny fangs between my lips. I couldn’t help but smile.
Slipping on and zipping up
the coat from the night before, the door opened and there stood
Stone at the threshold.
“He’s downstairs. He wanted
me to come and get you. We are going to hunt.” I could sense his
awkwardness as he spoke. Now that the relationship between us had
changed again, he was still unsure of how to go about things with
me. I laughed and the questioning look he gave me only made it
worse.
“Alright. Let’s go, my
hunger cannot wait,” I said walking over to him. Wrapping my arm
around his, we found Brian and made our way into the
night.
As the three of us wandered
down the streets of Downtown Montreal, we must have been a sight.
Brian had kept his distance as Stone and I stealthily hunted among
the homeless derelicts and thieves.
Unable to
control my thirst, I fed on the first homeless person I saw. In
spite of reeking of stale alcohol and the stench of urine, I craved
his blood. My fangs pierced the flesh of his neck, and his blood
flowed freely into my mouth and down my throat. I was in delirium.
Everything around us seemed to disappear. The homeless man I
learned was Doyle and I saw how his love-hate relationship with
alcohol was the beginning of his demise. Then again,
I
would be the one to
actually take his life. His blood will flow through my veins, warm
me and sustain my preternatural life.
It was only once his heart
began to beat irregularly and slow to the point of death that I
released him and led him to the ground. Covering him with his
cardboard box, I left him to be disposed of. As his final breath
escaped, I licked at the last bit of blood on my lips. I was drunk
on him and his alcohol tainted blood. I delighted in the sensation
of warmth that his lifeblood gave me and it was only when Stone
came to stand by me that I woke up from it.
“You can’t just leave him
like that without masking his death in some kind of way,” Stone
said. He was right. I was distracted by the warm blood that coursed
through my body and never gave any thought to a proper disposal.
Nodding in agreement I knelt down, tilted his head and swiftly slit
his throat with my fingernail. Blood oozed from the gash, and I
stood sucking the blood off my fingers. All of a sudden I was
overcome with a feeling of shame and unable to tear my eyes away
from him.
“Deirdra?” Stone’s
said.
“Hmmm?” With a jerk, I
turned to look at him. “Yes, sorry.”
Brian was leaning against
an old brick building. He had watched his child and progeny feed,
and it had delighted and aroused him. It made me shudder. I could
see how he saw it–like secretly watching lovers. It was at that
moment I realized how easy it was for me to understand Brian’s
thoughts. As I pondered this revelation, I couldn’t help but wonder
with all that I had seen, all that I had lived through, would my
mind eventually crack too? Will I be haunted by my past in a way
unimaginable, like Brian suffered for so long? With a sigh I let my
thought go. I wouldn’t linger on it. I couldn’t.
“
What should we do now?” I
asked while climbing into our newly acquired taxi. “The night is
still young!” I couldn’t help but feel excited. I had forgotten how
exhilarating and thrilling it was to have such heightened senses
and abilities. I was given yet another chance at this immortal
life. Even though my mortal life had been taken from me, I couldn’t
hate Brian. It was his sorrowful revenge that intertwined
dangerously with his obsessive love for me. He had no hope of ever
controlling it.
“Do you want to see
Mylana?” Stone asked while turning around to look at me. His voice
was soft and revealed his trepidation to even think of how she
would take this turn of events.
My heart sank. “My God…” I
stammered. I began to panic. What would she do? Would she still
love me now that our bond had been broken? And Brenna–my fledgling
once, is now no more. Everything had changed. It was all so messed
up. Any feelings of excitement, rejuvenation, the thrill of feeling
newly awakened in a way only that the vampiric blood mingling with
a human’s can do, was ruined. I was now bombarded with the fear of
sudden loss of unconditional love from Mylana and Brenna. They, for
over two hundred years had been my life and now… Everything was
different now.
All the petty things that I
had argued over with Brenna in the past had all been in vain, and I
felt guilt-ridden and ashamed of my childish idiosyncrasies that
had surely caused her grief at times. I was irritated at myself for
all the time I chose to be apart from Mylana and had allowed my
stubbornness to rule over my heart. There were so many things that
I wished I had done differently. But alas, I knew it was nonsense
to linger on it. I knew that the path my unlife took me was where I
was supposed to be.
Among my sudden sorrow and
anger, I realized I had to face Adam. Like in my dream, I did not
have any feelings of dread or fear of him. Having gone
places–whether pleasant or nightmarish–and experiencing things he
could never have dreamed up, I had a power over him. Chalk it up to
personal strength or insanity: I was not afraid.
“To Chantonnay ‘tis,” I
said, finally answering Stone’s question.
With Stone driving, I sat
alone in the back watching the surroundings pass by, and was
startled when Stone’s voice entered my mind.
“I’m
worried about Brian. He’s never been this quiet
.”
“
Maybe
in his own demented way he feels guilt for taking my mortal
life,
” I responded. It was the only thing I
could conclude from his change in
behaviour
. I had
to admit that his detached
demeanour
disturbed me
somewhat. On one hand, I was grateful I was unable to read his
thoughts. Yet on the other hand, not knowing and wondering what he
was obsessing over or upset over, my mind made up things that were
probably much worse than what he was really
thinking.
“Do you
really think it has upset him?”
Stone
asked.
“Do you
know if he has made any others?
” I
asked.
“No,
but…
” Stone began but was interrupted by
Brian.
“I know you’re talking
about me, so stop it,” he said out loud giving us a stern
look.
We drove back in complete
silence. I began to fidget as we got closer to the gates. It was
Mylana that I was worried about more than anyone else, even above
my need for closure with Adam.
Once the car came to a
halt, I climbed out following behind Stone and Brian in a daze. I
moved, but I seemed not to be the one in control of my own
limbs.
“No, just enter.” Stone
said as Brian reached for the doorbell.
My heart
pounded and a thudding resounded within my ears. If I wasn’t
already dead, I would have died right there from stress.
It’ll be fine. It’ll all be
fine
… I kept repeating to myself as we
walked further into Chantonnay.
“Hello? Mylana,
Elijah–anyone?” Stone called out.
Mylana leaned over the
banister above, and looked down at us in shock.
“Deirdra, they found–”
Mylana said, but stopped in pure horror as she realized my change.
Her eyes darted from Stone to Brian then landed on me.
“No… no!” Her voice was
small. Her devastation was all-encompassing. “Who did this to you?”
she asked, then turned to make her way down the grand staircase and
over to us. Grabbing onto my shoulders, her grasp was firm and
painful as her fingers dug into me.
“Who did this to you?” She
asked again, her voice revealing her anger. I winced in pain as her
grip did not lessen.
“Mylana let go, you’re
hurting me,” I said. She released her grip on me and looked into my
eyes, my soul, for an answer, but I refused to let her in. If I
did, she would lose all reason.
“I did it to her,” Brian
said, his voice filled with shame.
“What?”
“Mylana, wait…” She pulled
herself away from me. Reaching out for her, my fingers only grazed
her arm as I attempted to hold onto her. She was hurt, she felt as
though I went to him for immortality rather than to her. I
understood how she could feel betrayed and hurt; it broke my heart
to see her like that.
“
It’s not what you are
thinking,” I said, trying to calm her.
“No?”
Mylana shot her fiery gaze at me then back at Brian. “You selfish
son-of-a-bitch! You waltz into our family and
take
what you have desired for years?
How dare you come here with her as your fledgling, what did you
expect me to be–happy for you?” All her rational thoughts had fled,
leaving us with Mylana’s wrath. She walked towards
Brian.
“Mylana, don’t,” I said
desperately. “Please, don’t follow your impetuous
desires.”
“What–he can, but I cannot?
How is that fair?” She turned to look at me, her vibrant green eyes
shining fiercely.
“It was an accident…”
Brian’s voice broke the chilly silence between Mylana and me. I
cringed. I was grateful that someone had spoken, but I wished it
hadn’t been him.
“Really, an accident?
What–Oops, I drained her and ah dammit, now I gave her my blood.
No, not an accident,” she said sneered.
Before I could say or do
anything, Mylana ran at Brian and knocked him to the
floor.
“You will pay for doing
this to her.” Her voice cold, she hovered above Brian. She then
pushed him against the floor. I could hear his collarbone crack
under the pressure. Brian cried out. As her fangs pierced his
throat, Brian wiggled his knees up between the two of them and with
a quick push, Mylana went flying. In doing so, her fangs tore his
flesh open even more. Brian reached up to feel the wound on his
neck. Covering it with his palm, his dark blood oozed through his
fingers. As quickly as he could, he jumped to his feet.